What May Come
by Eien.Ni
Summary: For eight years Ciel's life has been cast in darkness, his eyes unseeing to the world. Taking a daring chance to see once more, Ciel lays his future into the hands of his smooth voiced doctor.
1. Chapter 1

I am very excited to introduce What May Come, a collaboration between myself and Akiru Chan! This story should be updated every Friday. Read and review, flame if you must.

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the other Kuroshitsuji characters.

It was a typical Wednesday morning, sun peeking out of overcast skies to warm the soon to be crisp spring air. Traffic was flowing with nameless people heading off to jobs or to some unknown designation, all hoping to make it there safely. A small white car merged onto the interstate, earning a honk from an eighteen-wheeler who slowed to allow for the car's sudden appearance. 

"Sorry!" The driver of the little white car apologized as best she could, hand shooting up to wave. Her eyes quickly shot to her son who sat next to her, head resting on his hand as he looked out the window seeming unphazed. "You okay?" she asked, not taking her eyes off the road again. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," her son spoke. "I'm used to your driving, since you're the one who drives me everywhere." A slight smile crossed his face. A low whine from the backseat attracted his attention. He tilted his head to the left. "Calm down, every thing's fine." He reached behind to pet the dog and was rewarded with a lick. "You should be used to this, too, since you go with us all the time." 

His mother, Rachel, smiled and switched lanes as she picked up speed. "Let's just keep this from your father, okay Ciel? You know how he worries," Rachel said with a laugh. "He'll end up feeling even worse for not being able to come today. It's a big day after all." She reached over to squeezed her son's free hand in a loving hold. 

Ciel returned the gesture. "I know," he sighed before returning his gaze to the window. "I'm just not sure why I'm doing this. Will it even help? It's still new, after all. And what about complications? I don't see a reason to take any risks." 

Rachel sighed, removing her hand from her son. It was quiet for a moment, only the soft tunes from the radio filling the silence. "It'll work," she said. "They've had positive results with it so far, and without out any negative side affects. It's the best shot you have of seeing again." It was still a tender subject, even after all these years. Rachel watched her son as he continued to gaze out the window, unseeing of the sights. All she wanted was for him to be free of this curse; Ciel should never have had to deal with all this to begin with. 

Ciel took a slow, deep breath. He could feel his heartbeat accelerate and his pulse begin to pound. He clenched his hands, nails digging into the soft flesh. Everything around him seemed to move in closer, suffocating him. He swallowed hard and tried to speak. All that came out was a small whisper. Ciel tried again. "Mom," he managed to say weakly. 

In seconds Rachel had her free hand gripping Ciel's shoulder, giving him all the comfort she could in the current situation. Anxiety attacks were common, and she should have expected one with how stressful the current situation was. "Breathe Ciel, it's okay. Everything is going to be alright," she cooed, hand stroking him gently as Ciel's breathing evened out. 

Ciel leaned his head against the headrest and let out a shaky breath. He hated these attacks. They always struck at the most inopportune moments, and it was embarrassing when they happened in public. Not that Ciel went very many places anymore. He preferred to stay home, away from all the people he didn't know. The place he frequented the most was Funtom Company, a chain of toy stores that his father owned. But if his parents got their wish, then he would be spending a lot of time at the hospital, a fact he wasn't too happy about. He was beginning to wish that their car would break down, making it impossible for them to get to their appointment on time. Surely the doctor had better things to do than just sit around and wait for them. 

The rest of the ride was uneventful, mother and son staying quiet, listening to the radio but not really hearing it. There were far too many things to think about, to consider. When the car pulled up into the crowded parking lot of the doctor's office, Rachel finally turned to her son. "Are you ready for this?" she asked, pulling into an empty spot. 

"Not really," he admitted. '_But do I have a choice?'_ He unbuckled his seat belt and opened the car door. He slowly got out of the car and shut the door. He felt for the back door handle to let his dog out. "Hey, boy," he grinned. "Ready to take a walk?" Ciel snapped his fingers, moving aside to let the dog jump out. The animal stood patiently as Ciel took hold of the harness 

"Hurry up dear; we don't want to be late." Rachel pulled her purse onto her shoulder and quickly locked the car. She came up behind Ciel, her hand on his back, leading him forward. The dog kept a pace ahead of them, keeping to Ciel's side and leading him as much as Rachel was. 

Ciel was tempted to drag his feet and dally as much as possible, but the hand on his back warned that he best keep moving. He could feel his hands begin to tremble, and he gritted his teeth. Although he didn't want to do this, it would be better if he acted confidently. Then, the anxiety attacks might be kept at bay. 

They stopped at the reception desk to ask for directions to the office of the head neurologist. Upon receiving them, they once again set off on their way. Ciel was becoming anxious again as they drew closer to their destination. He needed something to distract himself. 

"Mom, I think I deserve something sweet after this torture," he mumbled. 

"And what would you like?" Rachel asked as she pressed the button to one of the elevators. Luck was on their side when it immediately binged and opened to allow them to step in. They were headed towards the third and top most floor, and it looked as if they would make it just on time. 

Ciel thought for a moment. "Chocolate cake, probably." His grip tightened on the harness as the elevator continued to rise. '_Just think about something sweet, and you'll be fine.'_

When they reached their stop, the elevator doors slid open and Rachel helped to maneuver Ciel out. "How about I take you to that bakery you love so much after this?" she asked as they neared their designation. 

"That sounds good," Ciel agreed. He had a sweet tooth and therefore loved anything sweet. He remembered when he was younger, he would sneak into the kitchen and grab a cookie or two before dinner. But that had been before the Incident. 

Ciel quickly backed away from that train of thought. Right now was not a good time to be lost in memories. He would be meeting someone new today, and even though he was not thrilled about it, he still wanted to make a good impression. 

A pleasantly smiling nurse met the at the front desk. She smiled and handed Rachel a clipboard and some papers to fill out. "Come on Ciel, let's find a place to sit." The waiting room was quiet and mostly empty. They found a spot in a corner and Rachel helped Ciel to find the seat and sit. 

Scratching sounds emanated from their area as Rachel quickly filled out the form with neat scrawl. She tapped the paper with finality as she was done and stood up. "I'll be right back," she promised and headed off to return everything to the nurse. 

"Okay," Ciel replied. He settled back in the chair, idly scratching his dog behind the ear. He listened to his mother's faint voice as she talked cheerfully with the nurse. The sharp smell of antiseptic stung his nose, and he gave a slight cough. Since he was blind, his other senses - taste, smell, touch, hearing - had heightened to make up for the loss of his sight. 

He had lost his sight eight years ago, but that had to do with the Incident, as well. Ciel growled. Why was the Incident continually on his mind? Breathing in deeply, he concentrated on the sounds and smells of where he was. That always helped to calm him down when there was no one else around. 

"Ciel, are you alright?" Rachel returned, a worried look on her face. "The doctor will see us now." She reached out towards her son, running her hands through his hair in a soothing matter. "Every thing's going to be alright." Moving back, Rachel gave Ciel the room to get up and hold onto his dog's harness. 

Rachel led the way, one eye always on Ciel. Despite Ciel now having a seeing eye dog to help with the things she once did for her son, she couldn't bring herself to put all her trust in an animal. Ahead of them a nurse held the door open as she waited for them. 

"This way," the nurse said, directing them down the hall and into an empty doctor's office. Rachel gave a small thank you as the nurse left and she ushered Ciel into the room, helping him to climb up to sit on the examination table. 

Ciel sat there in silence, swinging his legs back and forth. He didn't like having to wait for appointments, especially if it was with a doctor. They were the worst. They scheduled too many people in one day, and when they finally did get to see you, it was always so rushed because they had to hurry to the next patient. He much preferred to get things over and done with and be on his way home as soon as possible. 

Ciel could hear a clock ticking away the seconds, and he silently began to count them. "Are we early or late for the appointment, Mom?" 

"We're right on time dear," Rachel said, attention turning towards the door when the handle jingled and then turned. In walked a man, or who Rachel presumed to be the doctor. He looked far too young to be as successful as he was, at least in her opinion. 

"I'm Dr. Michaelis," he said, hand out to shake Rachel's as she too introduced herself. "It's nice to meet you." The doctor turned, eyes set on Ciel. He smiled, the expression only helping to make him all the more handsome. "And you must be Ciel," he said lastly, putting his hand of the young man's shoulder. 

Ciel flinched at the contact, moving away slightly. He didn't like anyone, especially strangers, touching him. Realizing that his actions would seem rude, he smiled politely. "Yes, I am. It's nice to meet you, Dr. Michaelis. This is my seeing eye dog," he added, unsure why he thought it was important to introduce the man to his dog. 

Dr. Michaelis nodded and stooped down to pet the dog. "He's a wonderful dog," he said as he stood back up. "May I ask his name?" From the way Ciel had flinched away when he had touch the boy, he got a pretty good sense that it would be best if he befriended Ciel before they got into the technical talk. He wanted Ciel to feel as comfortable as he could. 

"He is a good dog, and his name is Sebastian," Ciel replied. 

There was a moment where the doctor looked taken aback, eyes large with surprise. The look soon transformed into a smile. "I quite like that name," he finally said. "Although I might be biased, considering I'm Sebastian as well." Sebastian laughed, eyes sparkling with humor. 

Ciel's lips twitched into the smallest hint of a smile. "Really? What are the odds of my doctor having the same name as my dog?" Ciel could feel his body begin to relax slightly and thought that maybe this wouldn't be as bad as he had originally assumed. 

"If I had to guess, I'd say pretty slim. Perhaps it was all meant to be," Sebastian joked. "And if you'd like, feel free to call me Sebastian as well. Dr. Michaelis sounds rather old and stuffy, don't you think?" He moved away from Ciel and sat himself on the rolling stool, that had been tucked away under a counter. 

Ciel nodded. "All right then, Sebastian." It felt slightly awkward to call an adult by his first name. Sebastian, from his spot on the floor, looked up at Ciel expectantly and gave a small bark. "Oh, sorry. I wasn't talking to you." Ciel reached his hand down, feeling the dog's wet nose brush against his fingers. He scratched Sebastian affectionately behind the ear before straightening. He kept his gaze focused on his hands. He wasn't quite sure where the doctor was sitting, and he didn't want to look like an idiot by staring at a vacant spot. 

"I don't think I need to ask why you two are here; so why don't we get to the point of the matter?" Sebastian picked up a clipboard that held Ciel's medical history. "Your Cortical blindness was caused by trauma and lacerations to the back of the head, correct?" he asked, looking towards both Ciel and his mother. 

Rachel nodded, and Sebastian continued. "And you've been blind for eight years? Can you tell me the extent of your blindness Ciel?" 

Ciel, now able to tell where Sebastian was, glanced in his general direction. "Eight years is correct. My sight is fully gone. Occasionally, I can see movement, but not much. No color or shapes, either." 

Sebastian nodded his head. It didn't come as a surprise, having dealt with Cortical patients for years; Ciel's symptoms were pretty basic. He quickly wrote everything down, keeping a detailed note of everything they were talking about. "Well let's hope we can change all that." Ciel would be his first patient to have Cortical blindness in both eyes, and Sebastian was going to make sure that he would get the boy's sight back one way or another. 

"Now as you know this treatment is still in it's early stages. We haven't had any negative outcomes as of yet, but I want you both to be aware that something could happen. If you do choose to go through with the treatment I'll have to ask you to sign release forms to verify that you understand the risks." Sebastian explained. "From there the treatment lasts about a year, and will require surgery." He passed Ciel's mom a small packet of papers that went through the risks and passed Ciel a similar packet, except it was in braille. 

Ciel took the packet, running his fingers over the small raised dots. As much as he enjoyed reading once he had learned braille, it was sometimes annoying. He thought that it was easier to lose his place than if he could read with his eyes. But if he was able to read again, he wouldn't complain. 

Ciel continued to read through the paper, once again feeling anxiety course through his body. He didn't want to do this. He was perfectly fine without his eyesight. His fingers began to tremble, making it difficult to decipher what words were printed on the sheet. He finally had to stop until the shaking ceased. 

"What kind of negative outcomes could there be? I mean, it's not like I can lose my sight again. If the treatments and surgery don't work, then it's not like I've lost anything," Ciel stated. 

It took a moment for Sebastian to speak, a somewhat grim expression on his face. "Aside from you never being able to regain your sight, there is a chance that damage could be done to your Temporal and Parietal lobe. Both your memory, speech, and sense of direction would be damaged if something were to go wrong," Sebastian answered truthfully. He would never hide facts from his patients, not when it could negatively affect their way of life. 

Ciel drew in a harsh breath. To lose his memory, speech, and sense of direction if something went wrong? Those were serious outcomes. He wasn't sure if he could deal with that. Granted, some memories he would be more than willing to give up, but to lose all of them? 

"Is there a chance that I would get them back?" Ciel questioned, gripping the edge of the examination table. 

Sebastian sighed and shook his head despite knowing Ciel could not see. "There is no way to really tell; it just depends on the damage itself, and how severe." He saw the fear in Ciel's eyes, and despite meeting the young man for the first time, Sebastian felt the need to comfort him; tell him everything was going to be okay, but he couldn't lie. "I won't lie to you Ciel, there comes a great risk at undergoing this treatment. Undergoing anesthesia alone can result in complications and possible death, but I will promise to try my hardest to ensure nothing of ill nature befalls you. I give you my word." And it was all Sebastian could give the boy. He couldn't promise that everything would be alright, but he could promise to do his best to ensure Ciel's well being. 

Ciel was silent for a moment, digesting the information he had been given. He knew that every surgery came with risks, but he wasn't sure if he was willing to take these risks. The stakes were too high. "What is the chance that something will happen?" Ciel persisted. He wanted to make sure he covered everything before making a decision, knowing that his mom wouldn't allow him to say no if he didn't have all the information. 

"With the success rate we've been having, your chances are high that you will be fine. We have only the best doctors and Neurosurgeons to ensure your safety, but despite that the risk is high and there will be a moderate chance that something will go wrong. I will say that the biggest risk you will face is the treatment turning unsuccessful, with no hope of regaining your sight. The real danger comes with the surgery," Sebastian explained. "If you wish, we can continue on with the treatment and see how you respond to it. If favorable, then you can make the choice to continue on and go through with the surgery." 

"What does the treatment consist of?" He frowned slightly. This was a lot to take in for one day. He was already tired and just wanted to go home. 

"It'll start out with weekly injections, and if you respond promisingly we'll begin sessions that'll have you staying here during the weekends for observation. It'll ensure that you don't experience negative side affects." Sebastian turned to Rachel and smiled. "We also provide our patients with their own rooms while they stay here. They'll have their full privacy, but will be checked on hourly and will have an emergency call button by their bed. Nurses are always on call to rush to their need." 

Ciel didn't hear anything past the words 'negative side affects.' It seemed that the more he learned about this treatment, the more there was to dislike about it. Injections. Having to stay overnight in a place he wasn't familiar with. Combine that together and it was a recipe for an anxiety attack. He rubbed his forehead and sighed. The dog sitting by his feet looked up and gave a pitiful whine. "Yeah, I don't like it either," he muttered, not really caring if the two other people in the room heard him. 

Sebastian caught the mumbled and smiled sadly. "On the nights you stay here, I'll be on the clock so you can always call on me if you're feeling uncomfortable. I'll also pull some strings to make sure that Sebastian here," he pointed to the dog. "Gets to stay with you, and of course you are always free to call your mom." 

Whatever the reason, Sebastian felt the need to have this boy agree to the treatment. He wanted to help Ciel see again. There was something about Ciel that seemed to draw Sebastian. He had yet to figure out what it was, but he was determined to find out. 

Upon hearing that his dog would be able to stay with him, Ciel seemed to brighten a little. On his ever growing list of things he hated, he disliked being apart from Sebastian, who was a nice source of comfort whenever he felt lonely or anxious. Not to mention, Sebastian was the one who led him around most of the time. There were occasions when Ciel would use a cane to walk, but that was mostly reserved for times when Sebastian wasn't feeling well. 

The fact that Ciel would have access to a telephone to call his mom eased some more of his fears. If he did have an anxiety attack while spending the night at the hospital, he was free to call and hear his mom's reassuring words. 

Even with that, Ciel was still uneasy about agreeing to the treatment. Not only would he have to endure injections and surgery that might not work or might result in complications, he would also have to spend the night in an unfamiliar place. Before the Incident, Ciel had loved to spend the night at his friends' houses. But afterwards, he had terrible nightmares that often kept him and his parents up until the early morning hours. How embarrassing would it be to have a nightmare in a building full of strangers? 

Ciel wondered if the cons outweighed the pros. He would need more time to think about this. He bit his lip, then asked, "I don't have to give you an answer right now, do I?" 

Sebastian quickly answered, smile on his face. "Of course not. You may think it over as long as you like," he assured. There was no need to rush Ciel into a decision, especially one he might come to regret in the future. "I just hope that in the end I'll be able to help." Sebastian went to pat Ciel on the shoulder once more but stopped midway, remembering how Ciel had reacted the first time Sebastian had touched him. 

Ciel nodded. "Okay." He couldn't tell what his mother's reaction to the information was. Did she still want him to give it a try, or was she now against it since she had heard the risks? "I'm really not sure about this," he confessed. "Yeah, it would be great to have my sight back, but I've adjusted fine to being blind. Why risk losing other important things just to get one thing back? Regain my sight, but lose my memories and the ability to speak? It doesn't seem like a fair exchange." 

Rachel stood and made her way over towards her son. Her hands cupped Ciel's own and she gave them a comforting squeeze. "I know this is a tough decision for you Ciel, but don't let the fear of what could be rule your life. Do you really want to stay like this forever?" she asked. "Sometimes the greatest rewards come with the greatest risks, but it's up to you to decide if you want the reward enough." 

Ciel looked torn. He did want to see again. It would be wonderful to see the world once more. Since he had been blinded when he was ten, he still hadn't seen as much of the world as he would have liked to. The images he had in his head probably didn't even compare to the real thing. 

His mom was right. Should he let fear decide what course of action to take? Or should he summon the courage to take a risk? 

His dog whined and nudged Ciel's leg with his muzzle, sensing Ciel's distress. The young male patted Sebastian's head, the action calming him down slightly. "I'd still like to think about it," he replied finally. 

"Well then, I'll be looking forward to hearing what you decide." Sebastian stood as well, shaking Rachel's hand and reaching down to shake Ciel's own. He felt anxious letting them leave without knowing if he'd see the boy again, but Sebastian had faith that Ciel would choose his sight in the end. 

Ciel, Rachel, and Sebastian the dog were ushered through the office door and towards the receptionist's desk by Sebastian who waved over one of the nurses. "Mey-rin here will check you out. It was nice meeting both of you and I hope to see you again soon Ciel." With that Sebastian dismissed himself and headed off down the hall. 

Ciel stood listlessly as Mey-rin chatted amiably with Rachel. He was so distracted, as he still had a lot on his mind, that he didn't hear his mother call out that they could leave now. He suddenly felt something tug on his sleeve and realized that it was his dog. He blinked and stepped forward, concluding that they were free to go. He was thankful that Sebastian was a good guide dog. Otherwise, there would have been several times that Ciel would have either been left behind or injured. 

"Good boy, Sebastian," Ciel praised him softly. They swiftly caught up to Rachel, who was waiting for them at the elevators. "Sorry, I didn't hear you talking to me," he apologized. 

"It's okay dear," Rachel said as she ushered her son into the elevator. "You ready for that cake?" She wanted to ease Ciel's mind. Worry over everything right now wouldn't do either of them any good. They would wait until they got home and were able to sit down as a family to discuss everything. 

"Cake sounds good now," Ciel answered. He was exhausted, and right now some sugar would help to give him a boost of energy. He would need it later when he and his parents talked about the treatment more. He had a feeling that he would have to fight hard if he didn't want to go through treatment. 

Closing his eyes, Ciel leaned his head against the wall of the elevator. He would eat his cake, then take a nap. 

And hope that the dreams stayed away. 

The ride home was uneventful and Rachel was sure to drive responsibly. Traffic was flowing, not too many cars clogging the interstate. Soft tunes played on the radio adding to the only noise. Even as they turned up the long drive and through their front gate nothing was said between mother and son. 

So much was on both of their minds, Rachel worrying over the inner turmoil Ciel was no doubt suffering from. She was on edge waiting for another anxiety attack, expecting it to hit at any coming moment. It wasn't until they parked that Rachel turned towards her son. 

"You okay?" She reached in the back to grab the bag holding the to-go container that had Ciel's cake in it; they had decided to bring the sweet home to eat. Sebastian the dog lifted his head and sat up, knowing he would soon be asked to preform his duty. 

"Not really," Ciel admitted. "I don't know what to do, Mom. I want to see again, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to risk losing memories." He gave a small shudder. "Some I would very much like to forget, but there are others that I don't want to ever forget." He could feel tears forming in his eyes, and he quickly blinked them away. He was definitely exhausted, physically and emotionally. "What do I do?" He asked in a whisper. 

A calming hand rested on Ciel's shoulder, squeezing tenderly. "Hush dear, you'll figure it all out," Rachel consoled. "And you still have your father, I'm sure he'll be able to help you." She gave him one last smile and then exited the car. 

Ciel slowly got out of the car, as well, before letting Sebastian out of the backseat. He took hold of the harness and allowed himself to be led up the steps to the front door. "Is Dad working late again tonight?" 

It took a moment for Rachel to crane her neck around the front entry to see if there was any light coming from the upstairs hall. A stream of it could be seen leaking under the first door; the room that Vincent had claimed as his office. 

"I think he's in his office dear... or he left the light on again," she mumbled the last bit under her breath. Rachel continued on into the kitchen, leaving Ciel in the entrance way, as she went to place the cake in the refrigerator. 

"Okay. I'm going to check if he's there and let him know that we're home. Come on, Sebastian. Let's go to Dad's office," Ciel spoke. Sebastian obediently began to walk, stopping once they reached the stairs. When he was sure Ciel knew that he had to climb the stairs now, he slowly started to walk again. Ciel, even though he knew his house like the back of his hand, still paid extra attention to where the steps were. He had fallen down the steps once because he had been careless with his footing. 

Once past the steps, it was only a few feet more until Vincent's office. Ciel paused to listen, wanting to know if his father was on the phone before he knocked. When he didn't hear any talking, he knocked once. 

"Come in," Vincent called, putting down the document he had been looking over. His attention turned towards the door as the knob turned and opened to reveal Ciel. A smile crossed his face when he saw his son, ushering the boy in with a quick 'come in' and a wave of his hand. "How did today go?" he asked, going back to pick up his papers. 

"It went fine. We met with the head neurologist, Dr. Sebastian Michaelis. He was nice, and he answered a lot of my questions. After the appointment, Mom took me to the bakery." Ciel didn't mention the little driving incident on the way to the appointment. His mom was right; Vincent did worry quite a bit. He also didn't comment on his doctor's name, wanting to see if his father picked up on that fact himself. 

A smirk twisted Vincent's lips, and he looked up once again. "I didn't realize Sebastian was such a common name," he commented. "But tell me what this Dr. Michaelis had to say. Did he agree to start treatment?" 

"I haven't given him an answer yet," Ciel answered truthfully. "But if I say yes, then he will start treatment. It will be...injections, at first," he stumbled over the word. "Then after that, I will have to undergo surgery. There are risks, though. It's possible that I might lose my memories, speech, and sense of direction." 

This time Vincent put his documents down and to the side. He could deal with them later when more important things weren't demanding his attention. "Come here Ciel." Vincent pulled a chair over and helped Ciel sit himself in it. There was a moment of silence in which Vincent assessed his son. He could clearly see the tell tale signs of stress etched on his sons face. "Did the doctor say what the chances are that something like that could happen?" 

Ciel frowned, trying to remember. "He said there was a moderate chance of it happening. And depending on how severe the damage is, I may or may not recover those abilities." 

Vincent sighed and turned to face his son. "If you have any doubts, then don't go through with it. Me nor your mother will force you to go through with this. But know that this will be your only chance to regain your sight. Be sure that you are ready to face the rest of your life blind. I just don't want you to regret your decision, whatever that might be." He patted his son on the shoulder and went to scratch Sebastian behind the ear when the dog whined. 

Ciel nodded slowly. "I know. Thanks, Dad. I'll be in my room." Standing up, he offered a small smile towards his father then left. When he was alone in his room, he let go of the harness. He had the layout of his room memorized. Three steps forward and five steps to the right, and there was his bed. From there, it was six steps to the left and he was by his favorite window seat. 

Curled up on the seat, he pressed the side of his head against the windowpane and settled in to think about the important, and possibly life-changing, decision. There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted to see again. But the more fearful side of him kept bringing up the risks and complications involved. Sighing, he rubbed his forehead with his hand. 

He began to think on what his father had said about facing the rest of his life being blind. He was eighteen now, and had recently begun to wonder what he could do. There were limited jobs that a blind person could hold, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to depend on his parents for income forever. Yes, he knew that they loved helping him and would willingly continue to do so, but he also knew that someday, he would like to be independent. 

Ciel clenched his jaw. He had decided.


	2. Chapter 2

I must confess...It will take me some getting used to updating every Friday. I almost forgot...*hangs head* But I remembered! XD So that is a good thing lol. Read and review, flame if you must.

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the Kuroshitsuji characters.

* * *

><p>"Good morning Dr. Michaelis," Mey-rin chirped as she caught sight of Sebastian walking in through the main door of the office. He sent a small smile to the nurse and quickly made his way into the back and towards the room he had claimed as his personal office.<p>

Sebastian set his briefcase down and grabbed for his white medical coat that hung on a coat rack by the door. It was still early in the morning, and sleep was just beginning to leave him. He yawned and turned to inspect the appointments he had for the day.

The list wasn't too long, and it seemed as if it would be a short day. He had a few simple consults with possible new patients and then a few check-ups with individuals currently in treatment. Papers were thrown back onto the desk and Sebastian fell into his chair. His hand came up to press into his face, rubbing into the corners of his eyes. He sighed and rolled his eyes to regard the phone.

It had been eerily quiet for the past couple of days, and it unnerved Sebastian. He was annoyed that he was so eager for that phone to ring, and to get the call that had been plaguing his mind far too often. Since the day Ciel Phantomhive stepped out of Sebastian's office the older man could not stop thinking about the boy. He couldn't place the reason for the attraction; whether it be the haunted look in those clear blue eyes or the boy's obvious withdrawal from others around him. What ever the reason, Sebastian felt a connection with the boy and a need to fix what he could.

Sebastian reached for the folder of his first patient of the day, stopping mid-reach as the shrill ring of the phone blared in his office. He quickly turned toward the clock on the wall, seeing that it was only beginning to inch into the tenth hour of the day, and then back to the phone. With a quick movement he snatched it up, greeting the caller with a quick "Hello, Dr. Michaelis speaking" before proceeding to hold his breath.

"Hello, Dr. Mich- I mean, Sebastian. It's Ciel Phantomhive."

A relief washed over Sebastian, soon replaced by anxiety. He was very well aware that this conversation could end one of two ways. By the end of this call Ciel would either be forever out of Sebastian's life or a big part of it; at least for the next year.

"I wasn't expecting a call so soon from you," Sebastian said. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine," Here Ciel paused, as if trying to decide what to say next. He took a deep breath, "I made a decision. I'm going to go through the treatments."

"That's good to hear." Sebastian smiled despite himself. He felt a weight lift from him, and reclined back into his chair. "Would you like to set up an appointment to go through the formalities before treatment?" There was a pause in which Sebastian looked over his schedule for the day. "I have an opening this evening at four."

"As far as I know, four is fine. If I find out that it's not, I'll call back," Ciel said.

"Sounds good," Sebastian said. "I'll see you then." The phone was hung up and Sebastian grabbed a pen to quickly scrawl Ciel's name into his four o'clock spot. The boy would be his last patient of the day, giving Sebastian the luxury of spending as much time as needed with Ciel and his mother.

Feeling in far better spirits Sebastian stood from his desk and moved quickly towards the door. His first appointment would be in ten minutes and he still had things that needed to be done. With one last look towards the phone Sebastian left; smug smirk in place.

* * *

><p>After hanging up with Sebastian, Ciel had his dog lead him to where Rachel was. "Mom, I called the doctor, and I have an appointment this evening at four. You can take me then, right?"<p>

Rachel poked her head out of the kitchen where she was currently preparing a late breakfast. "I'm in the kitchen Ciel," she called, hoping her son would hear her, and if not him then at least the dog. Either way, they would both get to her soon enough she knew. Rachel waited until a familiar mop of raven hair came into view and she smiled. "So an appointment at four?" She asked. "I can take you, and I think your father might join us as well; he's getting home early today."

"Oh, that will be nice. That way, he can meet Sebastian before my treatment starts," Ciel leaned against the counter. "I'm still nervous about the injections though, and having to stay at the hospital overnight."

"You'll be fine dear," Rachel reassured as she flipped a pancake. "Plus you'll have Sebastian there; he seems like a very nice man, and he did say you could always call us." She handed Ciel a plate of food, telling him as she did so that Ciel could bring his hands up to hold it. Once Rachel was sure her son had everything under control, she went back to her cooking.

Ciel sniffed the pancakes appreciatively as he carefully walked towards the small table. "He does seem nice," he agreed. "He's doing everything he can to make me comfortable, which is a good thing. I don't need to have any of my anxiety attacks while I'm there. It wouldn't be a very good impression." Sitting down, he began to cut the food with his knife. "Will you be okay, though? I know that you're used to having me here where you can keep an eye on me."

The kitchen was silent for a moment as Rachel finished up her cooking and began cleaning. "I wouldn't worry about me dear. I'm a big girl, I'll be just fine." She patted Ciel on the shoulder like she did so often, knowing he could not see her reassuring smiles. There was no doubt that she would miss Ciel on those nights when he would be forced to stay at the hospital, but Rachel knew it was for the better.

Ciel smiled, reaching up to squeeze his mom's hand. "I'm sure you will be fine. You and Dad could have some quiet nights, maybe even go out to dinner or a movie together." The three of them didn't go out to eat very often since Ciel was uncomfortable in public places, and Vincent and Rachel rarely went out together because they never knew when Ciel would have a panic attack. One of them always stayed behind with Ciel. Ciel felt bad that they didn't have much of a social life anymore, but he hoped that soon, all of the anxiety he still had over the Incident would vanish.

Rachel seemed to think this over for a moment. "I think you're right. In fact your father still owes me for missing our anniversary last year," she said with a laugh. "Some alone time might do us some good."

Ciel ate a few bites of his pancake before slipping a small piece to Sebastian. He didn't always feed Sebastian people food, but every once in a while he would allow him to have something small. "Dad's always working, and you're always taking care of me. It's no wonder you don't have any alone time," he gave a small chuckle before sobering. "Do you regret it, Mom?"

Silence filled the kitchen once more and Rachel found herself unsure to how to answer. Sighing she walked over to Ciel, kneeling down next to him and taking his unused hand into her own. "I don't regret it," she said earnestly. "Nor do I regret any moment I am able to spend with you. Life is never perfect, but you have to be thankful for the things you do have." With that said she leaned up and placed a quick kiss to Ciel's cheek. "Now finish up before your food gets cold."

"Okay." Ciel continued to eat, mulling over his mom's words. He wasn't sure what had possessed him to ask that question. He had always known how much his parents had sacrificed for him, but he'd known that they helped him because they loved him. He realized with a start that he couldn't remember the last time he had thanked them.

Quickly gulping down the last few bites of his pancake, Ciel picked up his plate and carried it over to the sink, placing it in and running some water over it so the remnants of the syrup didn't stick. "Mom?" He held his hand out, a silent request for her to show where she was standing.

Rachel reached her hand for her son's, giving it a light squeeze. "Do you want some more pancakes?" She asked, picking up the plate when Ciel shook his head. Moving away, she went to finish up cleaning the dishes and storing the leftovers to be put in the refrigerator.

"Thanks, for everything you've done for me. It couldn't have been easy, and you two could have decided to send me away to a boarding school. But I'm glad you didn't," he smiled, and Sebastian barked to show his appreciation, too.

"Enough of this," Rachel happily scolded. "Now get upstairs and get ready. We have a busy day today."

"Okay," Ciel snapped his fingers to call his dog over. When he had gotten a grip on the handle, Sebastian led him upstairs. Ciel could feel the start of anxiety worming its way through his body. Today, after the appointment at four, his life would begin to change. Whether for the better or worst, he wasn't quite sure yet.

* * *

><p>Sebastian glanced at the clock, his tenth time that hour, only to see he still had fifteen minutes before four o'clock. He sighed and looked back towards his paperwork. His last patient had given him a long list of medical issues and Sebastian was hesitant to allow the individual to go through treatment. It did not help that Sebastian found himself not caring to think about his present patients at the moment and only have one blue eyed boy in his mind.<p>

The connection he felt towards Ciel was as boggling as it had ever been, not allowing him to make any sense of it. "Dammit," he cursed, pushing aside his work for when he would be able to actually focus. Mey-rin passed by at that minute, poking her head in.

"Are you alright sir?" she asked.

Sebastian waved the concern aside, not needing it at the moment. "I'm fine." He gave her a reassuring smile, which she took with a blush.

"Oh, well..." She drifted off nervously. "The Phantomhives are here, and waiting in room three."

It didn't take Mey-rin prompting him to attend to them; Sebastian stood up almost immediately and moved towards the door. "Thank you," he said as he passed her and rushed down the hall.

Room three was only a few doors down, and the only room with the door currently closed. Sebastian stood in front of it for a moment, collecting himself and sighing deeply. When ready, he knocked once, and proceeded to open the door.

Ciel glanced over at the sound of the door opening. The smell of cologne wafted over to him, and he instantly recognized it as the scent that Sebastian had worn the day of their first meeting. He smiled, knowing that from this moment on, the smell of old spice would remind him of Sebastian. It was one way for him to identify who was with him in the room. "Sebastian," he greeted the doctor. He could sense someone staring at him and realized that it was his father. Ciel cringed inwardly, knowing that his father most likely disapproved of the lack of respect Ciel was showing to Sebastian.

Sebastian paused, slightly surprised that Ciel had been able to tell that it was him despite being more then a few minutes early. "It's good to see you again Ciel," he said with a smile before turning to the boys parents. Rachel was there once again with who Sebastian could only guess to be Ciel's father; the man looked identical to his son.

"Good evening Mrs. Phantomhive," Sebastian greeted. "And you must be Mr. Phantomhive." He held out his hand towards the other man. "I'm Dr. Michaelis, but please call me Sebastian."

Vincent returned the introduction with his own, but didn't say more then that. He simply sat back and allowed his wife to do the talking, and surprisingly his son. "I hope we're not inconveniencing you with such a sudden appointment," Rachel said.

"Of course not." Sebastian waved away the apology. "I was the one to suggest it after all."

"Earlier today on the phone, you said that there were formalities to go through," Ciel spoke. "And during our first appointment a few days ago, you mentioned that we would have to sign release forms stating that we understand the risks involved. That's why we're here, correct?"

Sebastian nodded, a smirk upturning the corners of his mouth. "You don't waste any time do you, Mr. Ciel Phantomhive," Sebastian teased, pulling out multiple papers and forms. A set were passed to Ciel's parents and then a special braille version to Ciel. "Those are the release forms; look them over carefully before signing."

Ciel's fingers trailed over the raised dots as he slowly read each word, making sure that he understood everything. According to the forms, the hospital would not be held responsible for any complications that might arise, since the treatment was still new. After finishing, Ciel carefully signed his name and dated it, trying to make sure that the letters stayed even, and handed the papers back to Sebastian.

"Here you are," he said. "When do the treatments start?"

The papers were taken and Sebastian placed them into Ciel's personal file. "We'll start Monday with some tests to determine the extent of the damage done to the Occipital lobe and where it is concentrated. Once we have a better understanding of your situation we'll begin the actual treatment." Sebastian sat back into his rolling stool and pushed himself to the counter, placing the file on the granite surface.

Vincent now spoke. "Ciel said that the treatment consists of injections. Is that the only way?" He asked, casting a sideways glance at his son.

"Unfortunately yes; it's the only way for us to make sure that the medication reaches the designated area." Sebastian glanced sadly at Ciel, seeing how stiff and on edge the poor boy was. "If it helps, we can always give you something to calm you," he said to Ciel.

Ciel gave a slow nod. "That would probably be best. Needles and I don't exactly get along." He pressed a hand to his forehead in a futile attempt to keep his rising anxiety at bay. His other hand clenched the material of his jeans, which he decided was better than drawing blood from his fingernails biting into his palm.

"We'll give you something nice, and that'll make you feel quite giddy," Sebastian laughed, trying to ease the tension in the air. "Now, let's get some information on you. Any allergies, medications you're on, history of heart disease or cancer in the family..." Multiple things were listed off, Rachel and Ciel answering them left and right.

Ciel squirmed, slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed when they mentioned that he was taking anxiety medication for post-traumatic stress disorder. While most people who were old enough to remember eight years ago knew what had happened, they only knew part of the story. The Incident had left Ciel scarred, both physically and mentally. He worried that Sebastian might think he was insane.

Sebastian made no mood to question Ciel's medications, he could already see the boy was uncomfortable at the mere mention of them. He quickly wrapped up the remaining information he needed and added the document to Ciel's folder. "Now Ciel, if you'd like I could take you on a small tour of our facilities. I'll even show you where you'll be staying during your nights here."

Rachel made a motion as if she wanted to come along as well but Sebastian quickly turned to Ciel's parents to address them. "Mey-rin has some papers for you to fill out concerning your payment options and you may also begin to plan for future appointments," Sebastian explained.

"Now then Ciel." Sebastian held out his hand, fingers brushing against Ciel's as he attempted to help the boy down.

Ciel almost pulled his hand away, but instead gritted his teeth and accepted Sebastian's help. If he was going to be staying here and receiving treatments, then he would need to get used to other people touching him. "Where are we going first?" He asked, removing his hand from Sebastian's as soon as his feet were on solid ground and reaching out to grab his dog's harness.

"Would you like to meet some of the doctors and nurses that'll be helping you?" Sebastian asked as he guided Ciel out of the room, hand on the boy's upper back. He pushed Ciel along at a gentle pace, trying to keep the boy comfortable as best he could. Tension could be seen, and felt, in the way Ciel held himself; back stiff and jaw tight. "I'm glad you decided to come back," Sebastian admitted as they rounded a corner, and headed towards one of the labs.

Ciel blinked. "Oh? And why's that?" He questioned, even though he thought he knew the answer. The more patients a doctor had, the more money he made. And if the patients were treated successfully, his reputation also grew. The desire for money and fame, Ciel decided, were the two traits that many people shared.

"Because I want to help you," Sebastian answered honestly. "I want to give you your sight." There was so much more Sebastian felt like he could say, but nothing sounded quite as appropriate as what he allowed himself to admit.

Ciel digested that piece of information. Perhaps what Sebastian was saying was true. Maybe he really did want to help him and wasn't after the money and fame. He seemed nice enough, Ciel concluded, but he had learned early on that you can't trust everyone.

The two of them reached the nurse's station, and Ciel felt the anxiety pressing down on him. He was always apprehensive about meeting new people, and he gripped the harness so tight his knuckles turned white. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he took another step, but his legs were trembling so badly that he stumbled.

Mey-rin waved as they passed by, Sebastian only slowing a fraction. "You've already met Mey-rin more or less," he said, the woman waving happily to Ciel. Sebastian went to move on, but stopped as they rounded another corner. The further they went, the paler Ciel seemed to get. Every muscle in the boys body seemed stiff and it worried Sebastian.

It didn't take a genius to see that Ciel was apprehensive of meeting the other doctors and nurses. With a heavy sigh Sebastian came to a decision. "We don't have to meet everyone today," he began. "If you'd like, I can bring you to you room and we can sit there for a while and just talk. You can ask me questions you might not have wanted to ask with your parents around, or we could just talk about the weather."

Ciel nodded, seeming very relieved that Sebastian suggested that. "That sounds good," he said weakly. He despised the fact that he was so scared, and embarrassed that Sebastian had picked up on it. But there was very little that he could do. The medicine he was on did help, but it didn't take away the fear completely. With each step that he took, his breathing became heavier and more ragged.

His dog halted, sensing that Ciel was in no condition to walk. He barked once to alert Sebastian, then turned towards his master and licked his hand.

Sebastian got to the boy's side before Ciel could fall to his knees. The dog whined as Sebastian swept Ciel up into his arms and hurried towards the room Ciel would be staying in soon enough. He pushed open the door and flicked the light on with his elbow. Everything flooded with light and both males had to blink at the suddenness of it all.

"Are you alright?" Sebastian asked as soon as he laid Ciel down safely on the bed.

Ciel could only nod, not trusting his voice enough to speak. He vaguely realized that he was lying down and that Sebastian hovered over him. He unconsciously pressed back into the mattress, attempting to put some space in between himself and the doctor. Bile rose in his throat, but he quickly forced it down. He wouldn't embarrass himself further by throwing up all over himself.

A hand came down to brush dark locks of hair out of Ciel's eyes, sweat already forming on the young man's face. Sebastian felt concern well within him as he caught Ciel's rapid and harsh breathing and frightened eyes. It was easy to tell that Ciel was not alright despite what the boy might say.

"Hush," Sebastian cooed. "It's okay, breathe; in and out, in and out. Everything is fine, you're okay." He continued to pat Ciel's head, hoping to comfort.

Within a few minutes, Ciel had calmed down. His dog whined and moved closer to the bed, and Ciel reached over and patted him on the head. "I'm okay, boy." His cheeks turned a dull red and he wouldn't look at Sebastian. "Um...thank you."

"Not a problem." Sebastian smiled but didn't further comment on the happening. What ever the situation, it seemed that Ciel was both familiar and uncomfortable about it. Even if Sebastian was curious as to the cause, he wasn't going to ask about it if it didn't pertain to the treatment. "Well, I suppose this is as good of time as any... Welcome to your room." Sebastian stood up and gestured around the modestly sized room.

Ciel nodded. He would have to do some exploring around the room to find where everything was located. The mattress wasn't the most comfortable one, but it wasn't bad, since he would only be staying over the weekend. Besides, he had a feeling that he wouldn't be getting much sleep anyway. "What all can I bring when I stay overnight?"

"Clothes, toiletries, books, and I'll allow you to bring an MP3 player if you like, but no cell phones." Sebastian watched as Ciel's hands reached out to touch the things around him. "You're free to get up and explore," he offered when it seemed Ciel was reluctant to move from the bed.

"Okay." Ciel swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood to his feet. He felt his dog press against his leg and reached for the harness. It would be better if he were led around the room first so he could become accustomed to where everything was. He patted the animal's head then chuckled. "I think I should give one of you a nickname. That way, you know which one I'm talking to."

Sebastian chuckled and reclined himself on the bed. "That might be for the best. I'll admit it's confusing trying to figure out who you're talking to. You'll end up having me sitting, begging, and coming like a dog." He reached his hand out to stroke the dog as Ciel passed by, being sure to keep his legs out of the way so he didn't accidentally trip the boy.

Ciel gave a small smile. "I sometimes call him Seb, so that's probably what I'll do." He concentrated on counting the steps from the end of the bed to the far side of the room. Turning back towards Sebastian's direction, he walked back to the bed and turned to the left. "Is there a window in here?"

"Unfortunately no; all the bedrooms are located in the middle of the building. Only the two rooms at the far end of the hall have windows." Currently one of them would soon be opened to a new patient, the previous one having finished their treatment. Thinking it over Sebastian added, "But if you'd like a window, I could reassign you rooms."

"No, that's okay. I don't want to be a bother. Besides, I feel safer without any windows in a place I don't know." Ciel thought back to his window seat in his bedroom at home. While he enjoyed sitting there, windows made him extremely nervous. You never knew when someone might break in through one.

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders and stood. "Whatever you want. I just want you comfortable here." His hand went to rest on Ciel's shoulder once more. The gesture was quickly becoming a habit despite Ciel's obvious dislike towards it. "If there is anything I can do to make your stay better, then please don't hesitate to ask."

Ciel nodded. "Okay." He generally was an easy person to please because he hated being a burden to anyone. He'd struggled to be independent when he'd first been blinded, but had to rely on his parents' help until he got Seb. Having a seeing eye dog enabled him to do different things, even though he rarely ventured outside of the house.

He explored the room a bit more, making sure that he knew where the bathroom was located. Later, when he was all alone in the room, he would measure the distance from the bed to the bathroom while running. Some dreams he had caused him to become physically sick, and he didn't want to get sick on the floor. That would lead to embarrassing questions, to which he would reply, I'm fine.

"So, how do you like it?" Sebastian asked after a long while, enjoying as he watched Ciel shuffle about. He mentally kicked himself when he almost laughed when Ciel bumped into a low table. It wasn't professional or nice, but the boy had looked so cute with the surprised fluster that painted his face.

"It's nice," Ciel said politely. There wasn't much else he could say about the room. He had no idea what color the walls were painted or what color the floor was. Any decorations that might be scattered throughout the room held no significance to him. He couldn't see them, so he really didn't care if they were there or not. But all in all, the room was a decent size, and there didn't seem to be much furniture, which made it easier for him to move around.

Sebastian nodded and moved away towards the door. "If you want anything moved around or extracted, then it can be done. I know a few patients preferred when the room was bare aside from the bed and a dresser." It was sad when Sebastian received a patient who feared their lack of sight, having to be in wide and open areas lest they were to bump into something. Those patients were always the hardest to inform when the treatment was not working accordingly. Sebastian hoped he would never have to give that news to Ciel.

"The room is fine. Most of the rooms in my house are huge and have large pieces of furniture all over, so if I can maneuver around there, I'm pretty sure I can handle one small room," Ciel smiled. "Plus I have Seb, and he's a great dog. He always makes sure that I don't get left behind or run over." He gave the animal an affectionate pat on the head.

"Still, if we can make anything easier on you..." Sebastian trailed off, he didn't want to begin sounding like a broken record, but he wanted to reassure Ciel that everything would be okay here. He continued to stand by the door as Ciel stood, his hand running along the corner of a table. "Just tell me when you're ready to leave, but there's no rush. I'm sure your parents are still working on paper work."

Ciel didn't hear Sebastian speaking. He was too absorbed in thoughts and worrying about the treatment he was about to undergo. Needles brought back bad memories, and he was still apprehensive about staying overnight at the hospital. Being in this room and filling out the necessary paperwork made it seem more real, and he realized that he was about to begin one of the biggest changes of his life.

Silence consumed the room, and Sebastian shifted back over to the bed when it seemed Ciel wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon. The boy just stood there staring at a painting on the wall, and Sebastian momentarily forgot that Ciel couldn't see the abstract designs on the canvas. Ciel was looking at nothing, and it was then that Sebastian realized that the boy was once again deep in thought. Whether good or bad, Sebastian had yet to discern.

Ciel subconsciously gripped the edge of the table so tightly, his knuckles turned white. He could see it all very clearly in his mind. The people laughing in the shadows, the knives glinting in the dim candlelight, the needles dripping an unknown liquid...

Seb whined and rubbed his head against Ciel's leg, trying to break the spell that he was under, but it didn't work. He then glanced back at Sebastian and barked once before returning his attention to his master.

In an instant Sebastian was on his feet moving across the room to Ciel. The blank and fearful look in the boy's eyes told Sebastian that whatever Ciel's mind had consumed him in was anything but good. Sweat was already beading at Ciel's brow and a slight tremor raced through his frame. Sebastian could see the small hand shaking from fright and he moved quickly to shake Ciel from the terrible daydream.

His hand reached out, tender and gentle in its touch. "Ciel," Sebastian called, voice soft and cautious as he shook the boy's shoulder.

Ciel's body jolted, and he let out a small shriek. He lashed out with his hand at the person who had startled him from his dark memories, intent on fighting if need be. At the last second, he remembered where he was. He wasn't captive. He wasn't in a cage. He was in a hospital room with his doctor and his dog.

He was safe.

Ciel's hand barely touched Sebastian's face, but he could feel the older male's breath ghosting across his palm. His hand twitched closer by a centimeter, and he felt Sebastian's lips. They were soft, yet firm. His thumb trailed slightly over the bottom lip, and he found he couldn't move away.

There was something about his doctor, his voice and his lips. Ciel felt an unfamiliar feeling course through him, and he still stood there, fingers pressed to Sebastian's lips, eyes wide and breathing uneven.

Seconds that felt like minutes passed as Sebastian tried to comprehend the sudden situation. He stood still, the warm weight on his lips foreign but pleasant. Scarlet eyes gazed down into unseeing blue, and Sebastian felt reality's terrible weight fall upon his shoulders. Carefully he took Ciel's hand in his own and moved those fingers away from his face, and dropping the hand back at Ciel's side.

"Are you okay?" Sebastian asked, trying to bring some normality and familiarity back into the atmosphere of the room.

Ciel slowly nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay..." He took a deep breath and took a step back, awkwardly shifting his weight. His fingers tingled from where they had touched Sebastian's lips, and he was unsure of what to do or say. "Um...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak out on you like that..."

Sebastian waved him off, smiling and shaking his head. "It's alright," he said, moving towards the door. The room was feeling too small, too stifling all of a sudden and he needed out. "Why don't we see if your parents are done." Ciel was ushered out, Sebastian following. As the door shut closed, Sebastian allowed the situation and the unsettling feeling to leave him, locking it away in that room.

Only the tingle on his lips remained. Ciel's touch wasn't so easily discarded.


	3. Chapter 3

To make up for last week's almost late update, I am posting this chapter earlier in the day! Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Read and review, flame if you must.

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the other Kuroshitsuji characters.

* * *

><p>It was now Monday, three days after the incident in the hospital room and the day that Ciel's treatments were to start. His mother had dropped him off at the hospital fifteen minutes ago on her way to a charity fundraiser for children who were blind. Now he was sitting alone in an examining room, his body stiff and tense as he waited for Sebastian to come.<p>

Seb lay on the floor close by, eyes trained on his master who seemed to be distraught. His tail wagged weakly and he let out a low whine. Ciel gave a small smile and hopped off of the examining table. He knelt beside the dog, scratching behind his ears, and pressed his face against the top of Seb's head.

The door clicked open then, revealing Sebastian in his white doctor coat and a clipboard. He blinked, looking around the room until his eyes settled upon Ciel on the floor. "I thought I had the wrong room for a moment. Didn't see you sitting there," he joked, and let the door shut behind him as he made his way fully into the room.

Today promised to be an easy day. Sebastian just had to run some standard tests that would be quick and easy, or so he thought. The last appointment should have proved that things never quite happened the way they should where Ciel was concerned. The concept both excited and scared Sebastian, although he would never admit it, not even to himself.

Ciel stood, keeping one hand on Seb's head. He was still slightly embarrassed about his behavior a few days ago, but he decided that he wasn't going to bring it up unless Sebastian did. "So what are we doing today?"

"Just some tests, nothing too big. I want get an MRI of your brain, and then we'll just take a look at your eyes to make sure that they haven't sustained any damage." Sebastian moved over to the counter and cabinets in the room. His clipboard was placed by the sink and he went about getting a variety of instruments to check on Ciel's eyes.

When he turned back to Ciel, Sebastian patted the examination chair, getting Ciel's attention. "Come on, I need you sitting up here." He patted the chair again to show where it was located so Ciel could easily find it and situate himself.

Ciel walked over, managing to find the chair pretty easily, and sat down. He fidgeted nervously, not sure what to expect next. He kept jumping at the littlest sounds, which seemed magnified to his sensitive ears. His sightless eyes jumped from place to place as if he half-expected something terrible to suddenly appear.

Sebastian approached slowly as if facing a frightened animal. "I'm going to touch your face, okay?" He said. "I'm just going to be checking your eyes. If you feel uncomfortable, then tell me and I'll stop." After a moment and receiving a nod from Ciel, Sebastian moved forward and began examining Ciel's eyes.

Ciel sat perfectly still, belying the tenseness of his muscles and the slight quivering of his body. He was ready to flee if need be. To help calm himself down, he started to recite the multiplication tables in his mind. He hardly flinched whenever Sebastian touched his face, but he knew that that wouldn't be the case every time. He was slightly comfortable around Sebastian since they had met a few times already.

His mind drifted to Sebastian's lips, and he wondered what the doctor would think if he were to touch Ciel's lips. He blushed and quickly withdrew from that train of thought, unsure as to why he was even thinking about it in the first place.

After checking to make sure Ciel's eyes were dilating properly, Sebastian withdrew and began to write things down on his clipboard. "All done," he said and patted Ciel on his thigh, quickly removing his hand when he thought better of the action. "Your eyes look great. Now to see your brain."

Ciel panicked.

He jerked away from Sebastian, his heart rate escalating. His breathing became erratic, and his body started to shake. The hand that had been on his thigh, it had been close; too close. He instinctively squeezed his eyes shut, his arms coming up to wrap around his middle.

Seb started to pace back and forth, every once in a while nudging Ciel's arm with his nose. He turned towards Sebastian, as he often did when Ciel wasn't acting normal. After all, there was only so much a dog could do.

"Ciel," Sebastian called, trying to rouse the boy without touching him. "Ciel, it's okay; I'm sorry." He tried to apologize.

There was still much to learn about Ciel. He wasn't sure what was okay and what wasn't when it came to the young man. Touching varied, and these attacks seemed to be ticking time bombs. Curiosity perked at Sebastian's mind as he wondered just what could have happened to this boy. It was obvious Ciel had gone through something traumatic, but Sebastian had been reluctant to snoop through records that might tell him more. He only ever took the information he needed, and respected his patients' privacy.

"Ciel, can you hear me?" Sebastian tried to get Ciel's attention one last time, making a wild gamble as he placed his hand on the boy's shoulder. He was hoping the gesture was becoming familiar and would focus Ciel's attention on him.

Ciel, from in the midst of terror, heard someone speaking and struggled to focus on the voice. The person's voice was calm, soothing. Then he felt a slight pressure on his shoulder. Desperately trying to get back to reality, he grasped onto the closest thing he could, which turned out to be Sebastian's hand. Gripping it tightly, he could sense the memories receding, now waiting for the next moment to strike.

Sebastian's hands grasped at Ciel's own, holding them reassuringly as the boy came back to reality. Sweat beaded upon his forehead and Sebastian tried to wipe it away. "Are you okay?" Sebastian tried to gain Ciel's full attention, bringing him fully out of his thoughts. "Ciel," he whispered the name and sucked in a breath as intense blue eyes bore into his own.

Ciel appeared to be slightly dazed, but he nodded in response to Sebastian's question. "Yeah, I'm okay now," he whispered. His breathing evened out, and his body relaxed. A dark red blush appeared on his face. "I'm sorry. I always seem to freak out."

"It's no problem," Sebastian quickly said. "I'm just glad I could snap you out of it. You worried me." The admission made Sebastian blush, but he was fortunate that Ciel could not see.

Ciel gave a slow nod. He'd only known Sebastian for less than a week, and already he'd had two meltdowns in front of him. He hoped that that wasn't an indication of things to come. He would hate for the doctor to have to constantly be on guard, wondering what he should say or not say, what he should do or not do. He debated about writing up a list for him, just to help him out.

"You said you have to check my brain now?" He quickly changed the subject.

After a tense moment, Sebastian nodded and released his hold on Ciel's hands. "You'll need to have an MRI, but it's nothing to worry about. You just have to lay there," he explained quickly so that he didn't alarm Ciel again. At the moment Sebastian felt as if he were walking on egg shells.

"Okay." Ciel wasn't a stranger to MRI's. After he had been blinded, he'd had multiple MRI's. They didn't frighten him, not as much as the needle treatments did. "Oh, Sebastian? I have a question about the needle treatment."

"Yes?" Sebastian stopped as he picked up his clipboard, turning around to look at Ciel with calculating eyes.

Ciel took a deep breath. "Where will the needles be injected?" He nervously tugged at the hem of his shirt.

Sebastian hesitated, unsure of how to answer the boy's question. He knew however it was worded, Ciel would react badly to it. "We'll have to inject through your eye and to your optic nerves," he explained slowly and cautiously.

Ciel blinked. "My eye?" He echoed. He wasn't sure if he was relieved that the needles would be going to his eye as opposed to other places, such as his back or arm. Subconsciously, he rubbed his forearms, aware of the tiny needle marks one could see if they looked close enough.

With a slow nod Sebastian confirmed. "We'll need to give injections in both eyes, but we'll be sure to treat you with eye drops to numb you. You won't be able to feel much." His words were meant to reassure but the tenseness of Ciel's body showed that Sebastian's words did not help to easy the anxiety.

Ciel was silent. He was beginning to regret his decision to go through with the treatments, but he knew that if he backed out now, he might not get another chance. He would just have to tough it out and expect anxiety attacks regularly. At least Sebastian didn't seem to be annoyed with the attacks. At least, not yet anyway. Give him a few days, and he would most likely be irritated with having to be so cautious around Ciel.

"If you want, I can always give you something to relax you if you'd like. Would make things less stressful," Sebastian suggested when Ciel continued to look apprehensive. He wanted to see the boy relaxed; the turmoil and fear in his eyes did little justice for Ciel. Sebastian liked the boy best when his blue eyes were clear and bright.

"What would you give me?" Ciel questioned. He hoped that he wasn't asking too many questions, but he wanted to know what he would be dealing with so he knew what his reactions would be.

"Just a weak sedative," Sebastian said and moved towards the door.

Ciel's face paled. A sedative. Sebastian wanted to give him a sedative. He closed his eyes, concentrating on breathing in and out. When he felt that he was calm enough to talk, he opened his eyes. "I'm not sure a sedative is the best thing to do, but that might be better than nothing," he said quietly.

"I'm not forcing you into anything," Sebastian reassured as he opened the office door. "You'll have a week to think it over, but first you need an MRI." He waited for Ciel to hop from the table and hold onto his dog's harness. Sebastian knew that he could just as easily help Ciel to the needed room without the dog's help, but he reluctantly allowed Ciel that small bit of reassurance. Unbeknown to Ciel, Sebastian was not a fan of the canine variety.

Ciel stood to his feet and let Seb lead him from the room, following Sebastian. They soon arrived at the room where the MRI's were held, and he stood still, awaiting further instruction.

Sebastian toyed around with some things, the clicking and clanks reaching Ciel's ears. "You'll have to leave Seb in here," he said after a moment, coming to stand next to Ciel. His hand was once again on the boy's shoulder and he gave it a comforting squeeze. "I'll lead you to the MIR and get you settled it."

Ciel released his hold on the harness. "Sit, stay," he commanded Seb. The dog obeyed, eyes never wavering from his master's face. "I'll be back." Ciel reluctantly took a step then halted, not knowing the layout of the room. The last thing he wanted to do was trip over something and make a complete fool of himself in front of Sebastian. Why he cared so much, he didn't know. All he knew was that he really wanted Sebastian to like him.

It was only a moment later before Sebastian had a hold on Ciel's hands. "You can trust me," he said as he slowly began to lead Ciel forward and through the door that led to the MRI. Every movement was careful and slow, allowing Ciel a chance to feel the emptiness around him. When they reached the table Ciel would lay on, Sebastian's hand moved up Ciel's arm. He lifted it up and placed it on the table for Ciel to feel. "Can you get up?" Sebastian asked, unsure if he should help further.

"I should be able to," Ciel said. Keeping his one hand on the table, he turned his back to the table and placed his other hand on the flat surface. He lifted himself up and situated himself so he was comfortable, pleased with how easy that had been. Having been blind for eight years, there were different things that were easy or difficult to do, and he had learned to distinguish which tasks he could accomplish and which ones he couldn't. Getting onto a table was easy now that he was older and therefore taller.

Sebastian positioned Ciel's legs and arms into a proper pose and moved back from the table. "Just stay still and it'll be over soon enough," he said as he went to reenter the small room with the controls. Seb's head lifted from the floor when Sebastian came in, and the dog wagged his tail in a happy greeting. Sebastian ignored him and went to conduct the MRI as quickly as possible.

Ciel was left by himself, and he waited patiently for everything to get started. He was on high alert, listening for anyone to enter the room aside from Sebastian. He would be able to tell it was Sebastian due to the scent of the man's cologne.

He frowned, recalling the hospital room ordeal. What had possessed him to blatantly touch Sebastian's face like that? He should have immediately removed his hand upon realizing what he'd been doing. But he hadn't. Why? That question troubled him, and until he found an answer, it would keep bothering him.

The machine began to make a whirring sound, and Ciel closed his eyes, allowing his body to relax.

In a short few minutes, the MRI was over and Sebastian was coming out of the room. "All done," he announced as he approached the table and put his hand on Ciel's shoulder, being careful not to touch anywhere else without the boy's permission. With easy hands, he helped Ciel to sit up and turn to allow his legs to dangle above the ground.

Ciel smiled. "So, how did I do?" He slid to the ground, keeping a hand on the table until he was steady on his feet and wouldn't fall over. He was anxious to get back to Seb. He always felt out of sorts whenever he and the dog were separated.

Sebastian didn't move, keeping the two of them standing near the MRI. "You did fine. I just need to look over the images taken and I'll call you with the results." Once more, Sebastian's hand sought out Ciel's own so that he could lead the boy back to his dog. He didn't move right away, wanting to make sure Ciel was ready. Even though in the back of Sebastian's mind he thought that he might enjoy this moment, not wanting it to end so soon.

Ciel tilted his head. "Um, are we going now?" Sebastian's hand in his was a nice feeling, and he was distinctly aware of the soft texture. That thought made him want to quickly yank his hand away. He didn't know why he was having these thoughts about his doctor, but it was scaring him.

They moved forwards after that, Sebastian's hand tightening over Ciel's as he pulled him along. "We'll be done after this," he began to say. "You are welcome to wait in my office with me until your mother comes to get you. I don't have an appointment until this afternoon, so you're no bother." The door was opened and Seb rushed forward to greet Ciel. Sebastian easily guided Ciel's hand to the dog's harness and proceeded to put space between himself and his patient.

Ciel found that he missed the warmth of Sebastian's body next to him. He bit his lip, worried about the thoughts that seemed to be present in his mind. Was he becoming obsessed with his doctor? No, he decided. Sebastian was the one person he was most comfortable with in the hospital, so it was only natural for Ciel to want to be by him. He breathed a sigh of relief. He had figured it out.

Sebastian stood, shifting from foot to foot as he awaiting Ciel's answer. The boy looked deep in thought again, but his eyes were clear and Sebastian was sure that it was indeed deep thinking and not terrors that kept him oblivious to Sebastian's words. "Ciel," he said, hand once more going to the boy's shoulder. There was no longer any tension for the touch and Sebastian saw it as a small victory. Bit by bit he was getting closer to this boy.

"Huh? Oh, sure, I'll wait in your office," Ciel replied with a tiny smile. The hand on his shoulder was comforting, and Ciel, much to his surprise, had begun to crave the simple gesture. To him, it showed that Sebastian cared enough to want him to be comfortable and to make sure that he was okay.

They moved out of the MRI and Sebastian led them back down the hall the way they came. The examination room was passed by and Sebastian walked towards his office, holding the door open for Ciel and his dog. "Feel free to look around and get a feel for the layout before you settle yourself," he suggested, knowing Ciel would want to know what the room looked like before feeling comfortable sitting in it.

Ciel nodded and slowly began moving around the room. There was a small couch in one corner of the

room with a side table beside it, and two chairs were in the middle of the room, in front of Sebastian's desk. A bookcase lined a wall, and Ciel ran his fingers over the shelves, feeling that some of the books seemed old. He finally settled down on the couch, ordering Seb to lay at his feet. The dog did so, but his eyes were alert as he glanced about the room.

"How long have you been a doctor?" Ciel asked, breaking the silence.

"More years then I care to remember," Sebastian said at first as he fell back into his desk chair. He thought the question over, wondering just how long it had been since he had been in school. "About five years now." He thought back to university, summer classes, and a dedication to his work and school work. Sebastian had been able to boast about being a published doctor before he had graduated with his PhD when he was only twenty-four.

"So you're in your thirties, then?" Ciel guessed, not really caring if it wasn't exactly every day conversation to discuss ages. He was curious about who his doctor was, and if he was going to trust him, he would have to know more about him.

Sebastian smiled in grim acceptance. "Just turned thirty." Never mind that it had been months since his birthday. "Still young," he added for his own benefit.

"Thirty isn't that old," Ciel agreed. "Are you married?" Again, Ciel disregarded any etiquette rules he knew.

With a quick shake of his head, Sebastian laughed. "No, no. Job doesn't give time for pursuing a relationship." He had tried but no woman could stand being second best to Sebastian's job.

Ciel was silent for a time. "Does it get lonely?"

"I have work to keep me busy and patients to keep me company." He smiled towards Ciel as Sebastian shuffled through random papers that demanded his attention.

Ciel frowned, thinking that being a doctor sounded very boring and lonely. Sure, there were opportunities to help people, but working long hours and having no one to go home to at night sounded like a very dull existence. "Any other family?"

This time Sebastian took a moment before answering. Family was a touchy subject and one he often didn't discuss. "None that I would consider family," he said after a moment.

Ciel immediately picked up on Sebastian's hesitance to answer and backed off of the subject. He didn't want Sebastian to get mad at him, but that was mostly because he'd had a bad experience with people who were angry because he'd not done something right. Ciel shook his head to clear the thoughts away. He wouldn't have another anxiety attack.

"Enough about me," Sebastian said to change the subject. "Tell me about yourself. What do you like to do?" He asked, very much curious.

"I like to read. And I also like to eat sweets," he answered, laughing a little. "I play with Seb quite a bit, but that's it."

"I make a mean creme brulee." Sebastian patted at Ciel's shoulder and chuckled. "You do good for the treatments and I'll make you some." he promised.

Ciel smiled. "That sounds good. I haven't had creme brulee in quite a while." He hesitated. "When I was younger, I wanted to be a chef. But now..." He trailed off.

"You'll become a chef," Sebastian reassured with a squeeze of Ciel's shoulder.

"You're too optimistic," Ciel replied. "It all depends on if I get my sight back or not."

Sebastian waved him off. "There are many great men out there who pursued careers that their disabilities made it nearly impossible to succeed at, but they never gave up and broke past those walls. Look at Beethoven; he composed while deaf. I have faith that you will do great things whether blind or not." Ciel was given one last smile before Sebastian turned back to his papers.

Ciel was left to his thoughts, and he sat there in silence, petting Seb. Sebastian had been right; there were many people who had overcome their disabilities. However, he wasn't convinced that he would be able to become a chef if he was still blind. There were some jobs that you needed your sight for, and that was one of them. Sighing, he leaned back against the couch and settled in for the hour long wait until his mom arrived.

"Don't worry over it. You're here to get your sight back and I will do just that," Sebastian promised as he tried to lift Ciel's spirits.

"Thanks," Ciel said softly, but his unseeing eyes still held glimmers of doubt.

A few moments passed by them in silence as Sebastian worked, only the shuffling documents could be heard. The clock inched by and the atmosphere tottered on uncomfortable but Sebastian for his part could not think of more to say. Finally he settled on something mundane and uninteresting, at least for himself. Sebastian had become far too familiar with the object he pulled toward himself. "Would you like to know what you brain looks like? I can even show you what part we'll be fixing," he asked.

Ciel turned his head in Sebastian's direction, not sure if his ears were now not working. "...I don't think that will work," he said at length. "I can't see, so how can you show me what my brain looks like?"

Sebastian chuckled and waved Ciel over. "Come here," he said without much explanation.

Ciel was curious, so he rose to his feet and slowly made his way over to the desk. He stood awkwardly off to the side, not certain where Sebastian wanted him to be.

"Give me your hands," Sebastian asked as his own were placed for Ciel to take.

Ciel grasped Sebastian's hands and willed himself not to freak out or blush. He was unsure of what Sebastian was doing, and he was ready if he had to quickly run out of the room.

With careful movements Sebastian moved Ciel's hands over towards the model brain, allowing the boys fingers to splay over the rippled surface. "This is, relatively speaking, what your brain looks like." Sebastian released Ciel's hands so that the young man could freely explore the model in depth.

Ciel trailed his fingers over the model, feeling every inch. "Where is the part that you will be fixing?" He asked.

Sebastian took Ciel's hands again, moving them down to the bottom back of the brain. "This is your Occipital lobe," he said.

Ciel felt the area before quickly withdrawing his hands. He remembered all too well the pain that had radiated from that spot eight years ago. It had been terrible, excruciating. And the laughter that had accompanied the pain had only made it worse. He wiped his palms on his jeans, sweat beginning to form on his forehead. "That...That's the area that stopped me from being able to see."

"It is," Sebastian confirmed and set his hand comfortingly on Ciel's shoulder.

Ciel retreated from the touch, unlike he had done a few previous times. He didn't want any contact right now, knowing that it would only end disastrously. He hugged himself, suddenly feeling very claustrophobic. He couldn't wait for his mom to come and take him back home to safety.

The memories were threatening to overwhelm him, and his breaths were coming in short gasps. "T-talk to me," he whispered, needing someone's voice to remind him of where he was.

Sebastian immediately opened his mouth to begin talking, knowing just what was about to befall Ciel. "Have you ever been to the park in the midst of spring when the Bradford pears are in bloom?" he asked, but expected no answer. "I always try to go, not so much to see them, but to smell the sweet smell that seems to linger in the air, and just listen to the sounds of the wind rustling through the tree tops."

Ciel seemed to calm down, if only a little. His face began to regain some of its color, and his breathing started to even out. He still clutched his arms tightly, but he didn't have that panicked look that he'd had only a few minutes prior. "Sounds nice," he managed to say through gritted teeth.

Seb trotted over to his master's side and nudged his arm, only to be swatted away. He shifted backwards and whined, visibly upset that his attempt at comfort had been rejected.

"It is nice. Perhaps you can go this coming spring." Sebastian moved way from Ciel, putting the model up as well as keeping some space between himself and the boy. There was no telling how Ciel would react to an accidental touching.

"I don't really remember the park. It's been a long time since I've been there. The last time I was there was..." His face drained of all expression, and his eyes became unfocused.

"_What's your name, little boy?" A man asked. He had stubble on his chin and a hat pulled low over his eyes._

"_My name is Ciel," he said happily, smiling at the stranger._

"_And how old are you, Ciel?"_

"_I'm nine, but my birthday is in a few days!" Ciel grinned, displaying a missing front tooth._

"_Oh, I'm sorry," Rachel hurried over towards them, an apologetic smile on her face. "Let's go, Ciel. Your father will be home soon."_

"_It's no problem," the man spoke as he watched the mother and son walk away._

_Ciel twisted around to glance back at the man and waved. He waved back, a smile present on his face, and Ciel turned his attention back to his mother as they headed towards home._

A scream tore through the air as Ciel grabbed his head, lurching backwards and nearly falling over a side table. He squeezed his eyes shut, desperately trying to black out the memories that refused to leave.

In an instant Sebastian was there, arms around Ciel in a protective hold and mouth pouring out comforting words. He didn't care if the boy would push away any contact or if what he was doing was highly unprofessional. Sebastian just needed to bring the boy back to reality. "Ciel, it's me. It's Sebastian," he kept saying, hoping to bring the boy from his terror.

Ciel struggled against the hold, frantically attempting to get away. The grip was strong, and Ciel found himself panicking even more. "Let me go!" He begged, tears gathering in the corner of his blue eyes. "I don't want to be here!" He tried to push Sebastian's arms away with his hands. He latched onto the doctor's hand, and, in a last-ditch effort, he brought the hand to his mouth and bit down.

Sebastian had to hold back his own yell at the pain that shot through his hand. "Ciel," he screamed at the boy, trying to get his voice through to him. "It's Sebastian, I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay, you can trust me." His voice was strained and Sebastian could feel small trickles of blood running down his hand.

Ciel froze, his breathing harsh and heavy and his heart pounding from the adrenaline. The present time came rushing back to him, and his knees nearly buckled from the relief that he felt. He was in Sebastian's office, being held in his arms. He became aware of a coppery taste in his mouth and recognized that it was blood. Lifting a hand to his lips, he wiped the blood away. He didn't recall biting himself, so that meant that he had bitten Sebastian.

He closed his eyes, his voice coming out in a tiny squeak. "I'm so sorry..."

"No, no. I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to cause this." Sebastian's face was buried into Ciel's hair and he continued to hold the boy. Relief flooded him and he felt grateful for the attack to have passed. This was by far the worst one yet.

"It's not your fault. I'm just so sensitive to everything," Ciel mumbled, exhausted now that the adrenaline had started to fade.

Sebastian shook his head, this wasn't Ciel's fault. "You have nothing to apologize for," he assured as his arms loosened so that Ciel could move away if he wished.

Ciel stepped away, keeping his gaze on the floor. "You should take care of your hand. I'm sure it hurts."

"It'll be fine. Just a flesh wound." Sebastian tried to laugh it off, it was really nothing. Just a shallow cut. He moved towards a drawer in his desk and pulled out a small first aid kit. With practiced ease Sebastian addressed the bite, putting antiseptic on it and bandaging it tight.

Ciel made his way back to the couch and sat down. He ran his hand down Seb's back, to calm the animal and himself down. He hadn't had an attack like that in a few months, and he hoped that it wouldn't occur again when he was with Sebastian, or anyone else from the hospital for that matter. It was embarrassing, and he always felt like a little child scared of the boogey man.

Seb butted his head against Ciel's knee and gave a small bark. Ciel couldn't help but smile. "You're a good dog," he said softly.

Once his hand was wrapped, Sebastian turned back to Ciel and waved to the boy. "See, good as new," he announced. The worry and guilt was clear in Ciel's eyes and Sebastian could not stand for that. Such emotions would make completing the treatment difficult, or so he told himself. Sebastian could not admit that there might be other reasons for his wanting to keep Ciel happy.

"When do I have to come back?" Ciel questioned, not commenting on Sebastian's statement. He could only take Sebastian's word that his hand was not seriously injured, and he wasn't sure if that was the truth or if he was lying to make Ciel feel better. Whatever the case, Ciel was going to make sure that he stuck to talking about safe subjects from now on.

"Same time next week." It would be the same day every week and Sebastian felt himself looking forward to them. Next week would prove to be a trying day when Ciel came in. The boy would be getting the first of his injections.

"When do I have to start spending the weekend here?" Ciel wanted to know, his brow furrowing slightly in worry.

"Not for a long while," Sebastian said simply.

Ciel breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing against the couch. Silence filled the room, and Ciel felt himself falling asleep. He always got tired after an intense panic attack, but he wouldn't allow himself the luxury of falling asleep. He wanted to be awake and aware of his surroundings.

Sebastian got to work, the soft shuffle of papers filling the room once more. He allowed work to cloud his brain, forcing thoughts of Ciel away and to the back of his mind. Such thoughts only helped to confuse Sebastian and he could do without them.

The minutes ticked by, and soon there was a soft knock at the door, which opened when Sebastian said to come in. Rachel appeared in the doorway, and she glanced around for her son. Upon spotting him, she smiled. "Hello, Ciel. How did everything go?"

Ciel just shrugged. "It went fine," he said, not looking in her direction.

Rachel's smile faltered and she glanced to Sebastian, a worried look on her face.

"He's alright, just a little tired," Sebastian said as he stood to shake Rachel's hand. "He did very well, in fact."

A relieved look replaced the worried one, and Rachel's smile came back, lighting up her face. "That's good. Thank you very much, Sebastian. Are you ready, Ciel?"

Ciel nodded and rose to his feet after grasping the harness. Seb led him to Rachel's side, and Ciel gave Sebastian a barely noticeable smile. "Thanks. I'll see you next week."

"See you next week," Sebastian said, returning the smile as he watched mother and son leave. Ciel would indeed prove to be an interesting patient.


	4. Chapter 4

Here's the next chapter for you guys! I had fun writing this chapter, and I'm sure Akiru Chan did, too. XD Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Read and review, flame if you must.

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the other Kuroshitsuji characters.

* * *

><p>Ciel sat very stiffly in the examining room. He was a nervous wreck, jumping at every little noise that he heard. His fists clenched and unclenched, nails scraping his palms. He felt bile rise in his throat, but he forced it back down. He'd already thrown up his breakfast that morning, so he doubted that there was anything left in his stomach to throw up.<p>

He let out a shaky breath. He hadn't had a very good morning so far. His mother had had to drag him out of bed and practically force him to get dressed and eat some food, but little good that had done. His hands were shaking, and he could hear his heart pounding so loudly, he swore everyone else could hear it, too. He squeezed his eyes shut with a small whimper. He didn't want to be here anymore.

A knock on the door sounded and the nurse from the front desk peeked her head in. "Mr. Phantomhive?" she asked quietly, but didn't wait long for an answer. "Dr. Michaelis is being held up by another patient, but he'll be with you shortly. I'm Mey-rin, feel free to ask for me if you need something while you wait." Mey-rin smiled and excused herself, the door shutting quietly behind her.

His apprehension only grew upon hearing that his treatment was delayed. He just wanted to get it over and done with. He wrapped his arms around his middle, trying to control his breathing. The way it was going, he was going to end up hyperventilating even before the injection.

Seb dutifully stayed by Ciel's side, not willing to leave his master in such an obvious state of despair and licking his hand every once in a while. Ciel returned the licks with a scratch behind the ear. "Good boy," he whispered.

Another knocked sounded at the door minutes later and Sebastian walked in, looking a little stressed and frazzled from his last appointment. Seeing Ciel made a small smile slip onto his face and he quickly closed the door behind himself.

"Good afternoon, Ciel," he greeted and reached to shake Ciel's hand. "How are you today?"

"Do you want the truth or a lie?" Ciel asked, shaking Sebastian's hand. He cringed as he realized that his palm was all sweaty and no doubt had tiny crescent shaped marks in the skin.

"I do prefer the truth. Not much for telling lies," Sebastian said, smiling all the while. He sat back on his stool and rolled over to the desk that jutted out from the main counter and sink. Clipboard and papers were set aside and Sebastian focused slowly on Ciel. "Tell me what's bothering you." The words were kind and gentle, and the tone was light.

Ciel refused to look at the doctor, choosing his words carefully. "I just don't like needles. They bring back bad memories."

"I don't blame you. They aren't too pleasant." If Sebastian did not approach this issue carefully, he knew there could be disaster around the corner. He rolled towards Ciel, and his hand found its way back to Ciel's shoulder. It was the only way he could touch the younger man freely without fear of causing Ciel unrest. "How about we try laughing gas? You just breathe it in, and it'll make you relax and feel good," Sebastian explained.

"We can try that," Ciel agreed, though he was still apprehensive about the treatments. He offered a tiny smile to the doctor, his fingers inching up slowly to tentatively touch the hand on his shoulder. He appreciated the comfort that Sebastian was giving him, and he was also grateful that the man didn't push the boundaries that were so obviously clear; touch Ciel as little as possible.

"Well then, sit tight and I'll go gather everything I'm going to need. The initial treatment should be quick, but I'll keep you around for an hour to make sure you're doing okay," Sebastian explained before he headed out of the room and down the hall to gather a syringe and other needed accessories.

While waiting for Sebastian, Ciel seriously considered running down the hallway and out of the hospital. His stomach turned, and he covered his mouth reflexively, even though he didn't throw up. He felt sick and lightheaded, and he was dreading what was coming.

Upon returning, Sebastian made sure to keep the syringe out of view. He didn't want to give Ciel anymore reason to throw himself into a panic attack. A bottle of eye drops was produced and Sebastian made his way over to the boy, hand on Ciel's shoulder with more force then usual. "I need you to lay back," Sebastian said evenly. "I'm going to put some eye drops into your eyes so that I can numb them."

Ciel obediently laid down, his nails digging once more into his palms. His whole body was shaking, and he bit his lip to keep from whimpering. He just wanted this all to be over with. When the first drop hit his eye, it stung, but he tried not to blink too much so that the drops could work.

Once done, Sebastian pulled away and allowed Ciel to sit up. "You did good," he said as he went to prepare everything needed for the laughing gas. Sebastian was both curious and anxious to see how the boy would react to the drug.

Ciel said nothing, too intent on keeping his anxiety from rising any further. His ears picked up on every little sound, and he had to force himself to stay seated when all of his nerves were screaming for him to flee. He heard Sebastian walk back over to him and he stiffened, bracing himself for what he knew was about to happen.

"I'm going to be putting something over your nose and mouth," Sebastian said as he came to sit next to Ciel who was reclining back on the examination table. "All you need to do is breathe deeply, and let the gases do their work. You'll start feeling funny and relaxed after a while."

Ciel nodded slowly, feeling his body tense even more. He figured that his muscles were going to be sore from holding them so stiffly. A mask was placed over his face, and he followed Sebastian's orders, making sure to take deep breaths. Within five minutes, his body began to relax. He would have sighed in relief, except the mask made it difficult. Seb nudged his hand, and Ciel rubbed the dog's muzzle, wondering if Seb thought that he looked funny. A giggle escaped his mouth.

Sebastian couldn't help the smile on his face as he watched Ciel succumb to the effects of the gas. He could already see the giddy expression and the now relaxed way Ciel held himself. Time was then taken to get the syringes ready. Two needles were laid out on the counter alongside a small vile of serum.

When Sebastian came back, filled syringes in hand, Ciel was acting like he was having the time of his life. He was mumbling to himself or most likey the dog, and Sebastian had to suppress a chuckle. "Hold still," was all Sebastian said as he began the injections as quickly and thoroughly as possible.

Surprisingly, Ciel managed to stay still long enough for Sebastian to finish both injections. No sooner was the doctor finished, though, than did Ciel suddenly burst into laughter. Seb was startled, backing up a little before throwing a glance over at Sebastian. No doubt he was curious as to what was causing the change in his master's normally sober disposition.

The mask was removed and Sebastian moved to dispose of the syringes. By the way Ciel was acting, it seemed as if the dose of gas had been a little high, but it did what it needed to do. Ciel hadn't flinched through the whole thing.

"All done," Sebastian announced, relaxing himself now that everything was in the clear.

Ciel giggled again before chanting, "All done." He tried to sit up, but became lightheaded and was forced to lay back down. "I feel kind of funny."

A chuckle escaped Sebastian and he rolled over on his stool to sit next to Ciel. "It'll be for the best if you stay laying down for the next few minutes. Then we can move to my office for the remainder of the observation period."

"Okay," Ciel murmured. He closed his eyes, feeling very light and giddy. Another peal of laughter had tears running down Ciel's cheeks, he was laughing so hard. Swiping at the moisture, he tried to regain control of himself but failed miserably.

"Everything turned out fine, right?" Sebastian asked as Ciel quieted between giggles. The boy was showing every side affect of laughing gas and Sebastian couldn't help but be amused. Ciel was absolutely endearing, seeing him smile so carefree. It was a first for Sebastian and he wasn't in a hurry to see such a side, drug induced or not, leave Ciel.

"Yup," Ciel grinned. He sighed happily and settled back on the examination table. It was hard against his back. Something nagged at the back of his mind; something that he wasn't sure if he wanted to think about.

"_Hold still." Darkness, broken only by sputtering flames of candles. A hard stone floor against his back. Someone pressing against his body. He was experiencing it, and yet he wasn't. It was as though he was watching it from someone else's body._

When Ciel opened his mouth next, he didn't laugh. He screamed.

"Shit." Sebastian shot forward to grab Ciel, knowing things had gone too easily. The boy had practically launched himself from the table, almost toppling over and falling to the ground. Ciel was caught in Sebastian's arms once more, pressed to his chest as he settled in his lap. Small fists bashed at Sebastian but he withstood them as he cooed soothing words. Mentally, he was cursing whatever had happened to cause these reactions in Ciel. With how frequent they were, it was probably a horrendously torturous memory.

"Let me go!" Ciel screamed, attempting to break loose of the firm grip he was being held in. He scratched and kicked before grabbing a hand holding him. He began to raise it to his lips when he suddenly stopped, feeling something foreign on the hand. His fingers trailed over it, and he recognized it as a bandage.

He remembered that he had bitten Sebastian a few days ago, and he lifted a trembling hand to Sebastian's face. His fingertips brushed against the doctor's lips, and he realized that the feeling was the same as it had been a few weeks before. "S-Sebastian?" He said weakly.

"You're a handful." A strained smile pressed to Ciel's fingertips and Sebastian let out a sigh of relief. These outbursts were wearing him out. It was aggravating to never know when they were going to hit and what would cause them. What all served to irritate Sebastian more, was that he couldn't soothe Ciel fully nor stop them from occurring in the first place. "Are you okay?"

Ciel nodded slowly in reply. With his fingers still lingering on Sebastian's lips, he idly wondered if they would feel the same if he were to kiss Sebastian. Swallowing nervously, he decided to test it. He quickly leaned up, but due to his haste and the laughing gas present in his system, he misjudged the distance and ended up with his lips pressed to Sebastian's cheek.

Sebastian jumped, not expecting such an action. He turned to look down at Ciel, who still seemed hazed by the laughing gas. A kiss wouldn't be the oddest things his patients had tried while influenced by the gas. Sebastian just shrugged it off as Ciel being grateful, and a little buzzed. The area on his cheek where Ciel had kissed him tingled and Sebastian had to force himself not to touch the spot.

"Thank you," Sebastian said after a moment, not knowing what else to say to the boy.

"You're welcome," Ciel mumbled. He was still somewhat high from the gas, and he leaned against Sebastian even more, his head resting on his shoulder. He breathed in the scent that clung to the doctor's clothes and couldn't help but give a small smile and giggle.

They sat like that for quite awhile, Ciel sitting within Sebastian's arms. The doctor didn't stop to think how inappropriate the situation was. If anyone happened to see, he could face some possibly unfavorable consequences. But the action was innocent enough, Sebastian reasoned. He was only providing comfort to a child that was so close to being completely broken. It was nothing more than a paternal fondness.

Ciel finally shifted away, now able to sit up on his own. He snapped his fingers once, and Seb trotted over without hesitation. Grasping the harness, the blind boy stood to his feet. "I'm sorry," he apologized, shuffling his feet awkwardly. "I can't be making this easy on you."

Sebastian shook his head, denying the accusation. "Not at all." It wasn't true, but he wasn't about to allow Ciel to pout anymore. Sebastian could deal with the challenges that Ciel proposed. He stood then, and proceeded to lead Ciel out the door, stopping only to retrieve his clipboard.

"Let's head to my office." Sebastian pushed Ciel out the door and shut it behind them.

Ciel's legs moved automatically. He wasn't thinking about where exactly he was going. He was simply following where Seb led him. The silence stretched on until they reached the office, and Ciel collapsed onto the couch, curling into a small ball. His hand idly stroked his dog's head, an action that comforted him.

"Comfortable?" Sebastian asked in a teasing tone. The boy was already making himself at home in his office. He didn't mind any, but it was amusing and heartening to see the boy relax. It gave hope that Sebastian was winning ground with Ciel; that the boy was slowly beginning to open up to trusting Sebastian.

"Yeah," Ciel replied. He was tired again, his energy having been drained after the panic attack. The side affects of the gas were slowly dissipating; the only sign that he had received laughing gas was an occasional giggle. His eyelids drooped, and he began to succumb to sleep. However, his stomach chose that moment to growl loudly.

The sound was loud in the quiet office and both males heard it quite clearly. Sebastian's head perked and he regarded Ciel silently for a moment as he tried to put a name to the sound. "Are you hungry?" he asked after a moment once he realized what he had heard. It was mid-day, almost lunch time so it was only natural the boy would grow hungry. Even Sebastian was feeling a similar yearning for food.

"Yeah, I didn't eat breakfast today." Ciel looked away, knowing that he'd lied. He had eaten, but the food just hadn't stayed in his stomach. "I was too worried about the treatment."

Sebastian looked quickly to the clock and then back to Ciel. "When is you mother coming to get you?" He needed to know in order to gauge the time they had left. If all went well they could grab a quick bite to eat.

"She's going to be a little late today, but she said anywhere between four thirty and five," Ciel answered.

"Great." Sebastian pushed away from his desk, and stood. "How about some lunch then." They could head to the cafeteria and grab a quick bite. He moved to the door but stopped before he reached it. Turning he looked down at the dog and then back up at Ciel. "You can leave your dog here. I think I can do a well enough job of leading you around safely."

Ciel bit his lip, reluctant to leave Seb behind, but ordered him to stay nonetheless. He cautiously made his way over to where Sebastian was, his hand held out in front of him so that he didn't run into the doctor. He jumped a little when he felt something touch his arm but immediately relaxed upon realizing that it was only Sebastian.

"Let's go eat," Ciel said, a slight tremor in his voice.

A hand reached for Ciel's and began to pull him along. Sebastian played with the idea of keeping his touch to Ciel's shoulder, but decided it would be better if the boy could relax under Sebastian's touch no matter the area. After all, it would be better on both of them as the treatment progressed.

"What are you hungry for?" Sebastian asked as they waited in front of the elevators.

"Something sweet," Ciel replied. "But I should eat something good first, probably. Pizza, if they have it."

"I wouldn't call pizza good, but what do I know? I'm not a nutritionist." Sebastian laughed at his own words just as the elevator dinged and they pushed their way in. The ride was quick and efficient, leaving them to hurry on their way to the cafeteria.

Ciel could hear people walking and talking, and he subconsciously pressed closer to Sebastian's side. He didn't know any of these people, and that made him more on edge than usual. One person, talking on a cell phone and not paying attention to where he was walking, bumped into Ciel as they rounded a corner. Ciel gave a small yelp of surprise, thrown off balance.

"Watch it!" Frowning, Sebastian turned back to Ciel and checked the boy over. "Are you?"

Ciel nodded. "I'm okay." His arm tingled where the person had bumped him, and he rubbed it as though doing so would rid himself of the feeling of someone else touching him. "That happens a lot, especially if someone isn't watching where they're going."

"People shouldn't be so oblivious." Sebastian's tone suggested that he was irritated, if not a little angry at the same happening. There was a harshness in it that Ciel didn't often hear when the doctor spoke. A moment a silence passed and Sebastian seemed to shake the dark mood off. "So pizza and something sweet? I think we'll be able to find something like that." The doors to the cafeteria were pushed open and the loud buzz of people eating and talking met their ears.

Ciel practically hid behind Sebastian as they entered the room, feeling childish as he did. His grip tightened on Sebastian's hand, seeking some kind of comfort. The sounds and smells overwhelmed his senses, and he had to take a deep breath to calm himself down. He would definitely embarrass himself if he were to have a panic attack in this crowded room.

Following Sebastian, they weaved their way through the throng of people to the register. The cashier looked over, recognizing Sebastian. She blushed and smiled at him. "What can I get for you today?"

Sebastian ordered himself a deli sandwich and then looked over towards Ciel. "Cheese or pepperoni?" he asked, not sure what the younger male would prefer.

"Pepperoni, please," Ciel answered. Even though he couldn't see, he could tell the woman kept glancing over at him, probably wondering why he was with Sebastian. He kept his gaze fixed towards his feet. He hated it when people stared at him.

After Sebastian paid and they received their food, they managed to find a vacant table in a quiet corner. Ciel sat down and picked up his slice, taking a small bite. It tasted good, especially since he was hungry, but he forced himself to eat slowly, not wanting to eat too quickly and get sick again.

They ate in a relative silence, enjoying the other's company. It wasn't until Sebastian finished his sandwich and Ciel had started on his dessert did the first words break the quiet. "How was your meal?" Sebastian asked, clearing away both his and Ciel's plates.

"It was good," Ciel murmured. His stomach was now full, and he felt better. He had more energy, and since the injections were done with for the day, he didn't have to worry about the food coming back up. "How was your sandwich?"

"It was good enough for hospital food." And really it was. All that was important was that it was edible and filled Sebastian's stomach. Ciel's jumbo chocolate chip cookies were eaten quickly and Sebastian decided that it was probably time for them to get back to the office. Too many people were sending them looks, mainly doctors who knew Sebastian. He had to admit that it wasn't in his usual behavior to cater to patients quite the way he was with Ciel. The boy had been an exception to the rule and Sebastian could freely admit he enjoyed spending time with the boy when he wasn't having panic attacks.

They made it back to the office without any incidents, and Seb was there to greet them, barking and wagging his tail happily upon seeing his master return. Ciel smiled, petting Seb before taking a seat back on the couch. Seb then turned his attention to Sebastian, trotting over to him and looking up at him with big brown eyes.

Sebastian didn't smile down at the dog, and quickly turned to ignore the animal in favor of giving his attention to the dog's master. "You still have a while till your mom is here, and I don't have an appointment to get ready for. So it's up to you as to what we can do to fill the time." There was a stack of papers Sebastian could get working on, but it could be done later. Normally, and with any other patient, they would be sent back out into the waiting room to await their ride. Ciel was indeed special, and perhaps Sebastian saw the boy as some sort of a younger brother. If not that, then he couldn't put a name to his affection towards the boy.

Ciel shrugged. "I don't know." He realized that he should have brought a book with him to read, but it was too late to do anything about that now. He'd just have to remember it for next time. That thought sent a shiver down his spine. He was already dreading next week's injections. He pushed the feeling of impending doom aside. He could worry about it later in the safety of his home.

"Is there a place outside where I could walk Seb? He's been inside for a while, so I'm sure he needs to go out," Ciel replied. Seb's ears perked up at the word 'outside,' and he barked once, moving forward with a hopeful look on his face.

"There's a small outdoor sitting area at the back of the building. You'll be able to find some grass and gardens there," Sebastian explained although he already knew that he'd be following Ciel. Thinking on it, there wasn't much keeping him in the office at this point. He could pack up and lock up and then wait outside for Ciel's mom to come. Once the dog was finished with his business, they could move towards the main entrance and wait there.

"Okay. You want to go out, Seb?" Ciel asked, already knowing the answer as he grasped the harness and stood. Tail still moving rapidly from side to side, Seb began to move towards the door, eager to get outside in the sunshine.

Ciel laughed. "I think we better hurry. He really wants to go out."

Leading the way, Sebastian went back the way they came, locking up the door to his office and heading down the hall and back to the elevator. Someone was holding open the sliding doors for them, but Sebastian waved them along. They would catch the next one. Sebastian didn't know how Ciel would react to being with a stranger in such tight quarters.

The next elevator was empty and Ciel was ushered in with Sebastian behind him. The ride was quick and thankfully no one tried to catch a ride with them. Downstairs on the bottom floor they exited and headed towards the small gardens at the back of the building.

Since Seb was a seeing eye dog, he'd been trained to ignore distractions, such as any cats that they might come across. He'd also been taught to behave when he was on duty and not go running off anywhere. As they walked out of the door and into the bright sunshine, Seb obediently trotted on the sidewalk.

Ciel listened to the sounds he could hear while Sebastian led them to a private area. There were patients and nurses talking off to one side, and several patients had family members visiting them. His grip tightened on the harness, and he found himself aching for the comforting touch of Sebastian's hand upon his shoulder.

They reached a patch of grass and Sebastian went on to lead Ciel onto the plush turf and waited for the dog to do his business. A command was given and Sebastian watched as the dog proceeded to sniff for an appropriate spot before relieving himself. Sebastian's nose scrunched at the sight and quickly turned away.

Seb soon was done, but Ciel still stood there, enjoying the warm rays hitting his face. Despite being a bit on the chilly side, he thought it was a beautiful day out, as far as he could tell. Spring was just around the corner, and he could hardly wait to smell the flowers and hear the birds singing.

He let out a sigh, relaxing his tense muscles, and tilted his head back. Normally, he wouldn't stay outside in the open like this, but he didn't think he had much to worry about at the hospital. What was here that could possibly harm him?

Metal clanging against each other caught his attention, and he flinched. It sounded like -

_The metal bars clanged shut, effectively locking the cage. "Just be a good boy and stay. Not that you could go anywhere even if you did manage to get out," the man laughed._

_He watched him leave, hugging his knees to his chest and wincing at the action. It hurt. He hurt. He just wanted out. He wanted -_

"Home..." Ciel gasped out.

Ciel was scooped into Sebastian's arms the moment that glassy look was seen in Ciel's eye. "You're going home." The doctors voice was soothing and he quickly walked back into the hospital, the dog following obediently next to him. "I'll make sure you get home."

Ciel was in too much shock to fully comprehend that he was being carried. He only subconsciously clung tighter to Sebastian, burying his face in the doctor's neck to drown out the horrifying memories. Doctors and nurses walking down the hallways parted to let Sebastian pass by, glancing over their shoulders as they wondered what in the world was going on.

Mey-rin came hurrying to meet Sebastian when she saw them coming. "Did he have a reaction to the injections or the laughing gas?" She asked in a worried tone.

The nurse was waved away and Sebastian continued his way towards the main part of the building and to the front sliding doors. There was a bench to the side of the building next to some bushes and trees. It was secluded and away from prying eyes, a perfect spot. Sebastian sat and adjusted Ciel lightly to sit on his lap. For being as old as Ciel was, the boy was small, slim, and petite. When standing, he only came to Sebastian's chest.

Ciel leaned against the broad chest. His eyes were still glassy, and his entire body was shaking. Every once in a while, a small whimper would escape his lips, but other than that, he made no sound. Seb sat down by Sebastian's feet, staring intently at his master. He poked Ciel's hand with his nose, but didn't attempt any other contact.

Finally, Ciel seemed to come out of his terror, and the tremors began to disappear. He shook his head, slightly disoriented and curious about the warmth he felt surrounding him.

Sebastian's hand ran through Ciel's hair in a soothing gesture. The boy smelled of cinnamon apples and without realizing it Sebastian was leaning closer to take in the strong scent. It was peaceful sitting there in the late autumn sun with Ciel calm and relaxed in his arms. For the first time, Sebastian couldn't feel a tense muscle and he marveled at the fact.

Smelling old spice, Ciel realized that he was in Sebastian's arms and sitting on his lap. A small blush dusted his cheeks, and he nervously chewed on the inside of his lip. He couldn't help but remember the softness of Sebastian's lips and cheek, and he was surprised to discover that he wanted to feel it again. When he had kissed Sebastian earlier, he'd missed and ended up kissing his cheek instead of his lips. Reflecting back on it, Ciel decided that that had probably been for the best. If he had actually managed to kiss the doctor on the lips, what would Sebastian have done?

Ciel let out a small sigh. He'd settle for kissing Sebastian's cheek, then. Turning his head towards Sebastian, Ciel leaned forward.

The sudden movement startled Sebastian as he wondered if Ciel was relapsing back into his terrifying memories. His head snapped to the side just in time to meet Ciel head on. Everything happened in a second, like most awkward moments did, and Sebastian was left frozen as the boy's soft lips were pressed firmly to his own.

Realization of the situation dawned on Sebastian and he quickly drew his head back. The same tingle was on his lips as it had been on his cheek earlier that day. Only this time Sebastian could taste the boy as his tongue darted out to wet his suddenly dry lips. Ciel tasted of something salty but sweet and reminded Sebastian briefly like a chocolate covered pretzel.

Around them, the atmosphere grew uncomfortable and Sebastian found himself trying to mend the situation. Such an act between doctor and patient was highly unprofessional, not to mention Sebastian was a good twelve years older then the boy. The kiss on the cheek earlier that day was innocent enough to rub off and Sebastian, feeling guilty for the deceptive idea, decided to use Ciel's disability to salvage the situation. The boy couldn't know the difference between cheek and lips with such a quick peck.

"Is this becoming a habit, a kiss on the cheek?" Sebastian tried to laugh it off as if the whole thing was nothing. Because it really was nothing, and would always be as such.

Ciel froze for a second. A frown was close to forming, but he quickly pasted a smile on instead. "Sorry. It was an accident. I didn't mean to kiss you again," he apologized, even though it could hardly be called a kiss. Still, he was slightly hurt by Sebastian's flippant dismissal of what had happened, but he tried to tell himself that it didn't mean anything. Sebastian, after all, was his doctor. They weren't supposed to have personal relationships with their patients.

Realizing that he was still sitting on Sebastian, Ciel coughed nervously. "Um, I can sit on my own now..."

Sebastian's arms unwound from Ciel and the boy slipped into the extra space on the bench. The dog came up to him and Sebastian leaned away from the animal, frowning when it licked Ciel's hand. "Your mom should be here soon," he said to keep a silence from settling around them.

"Yeah," Ciel said quietly. He fidgeted in his seat, twisting his fingers together. There was an awkwardness between the two of them now, and Ciel wished that he could just go back in time by five minutes and undo what had transpired.

He honestly didn't know what was wrong with him. Normally, he shied away from any contact with anyone, even his own parents to some degree. So why was he deliberately seeking contact with Sebastian, who was almost a complete stranger?

Sebastian broke Ciel's train of thought with a heavy hand on the boy's shoulder. "Your mom is here." Then the hand was gone and Sebastian was standing to greet the woman. She could not have come at a better time and the doctor was feeling a little more at ease now that he was no longer alone with his patient.

"Good evening, Mrs. Phantomhive," Sebastian greeted kindly.

Rachel smiled at him. "Hello, Sebastian. I'm sorry I'm late, but I had a very important meeting to discuss getting more books in braille for the local libraries." She peered over Sebastian's shoulder at Ciel, then lowered her voice. "How did today go? I know he had the first of his injections."

"He was perfect. Didn't put up a fuss at all," Sebastian said. His smile was a bit strained but Rachel didn't seemed to take notice of it.

"That's good," she said, relieved. "I was so worried." A dark shadow crossed her face, but as soon as it had appeared, it was gone. "Are you ready to go, Ciel?"

Ciel wanted to get up and run to the car, but he forced himself to act natural. He didn't want his mom to worry more than she already did. "Yeah, I'm ready." Seb led him to where his mom and Sebastian were, and Ciel paused, glancing sideways at the spot where he knew Sebastian was standing. "I'll see you next week, then?"

"I'll look forward to it." Sebastian patted Ciel on the head and was surprised when the boy didn't even flinch. The hand was withdrawn so that mother and son could leave and head home. From the curb, Sebastian continued to watch them until they disappeared into their car and then until the vehicle was no longer in sight as well.

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><p>The office was dark, darker then Sebastian remembered it to be. Even the walls seemed to be closing in to suffocate those who passed through. It was then that Sebastian realized that he was not walking. The squeaking of wheels came from beneath him as he was pushed along on a gurney by faceless doctors and he found himself feeling unnerved.<p>

Double doors opened to admit them as they plunged into a blinding light. Sebastian blinked and found he could not see for a moment, and he couldn't even hear. Everything was a dead quiet as panic flared in him. He attempted to move, to flee, but his body refused to budge. With his mouth open, Sebastian screamed into the silence and everything went black before the room materialized around him.

It was the examination room back at his office, the one they used for young kids. He recognized it by the poster of the kitten on the wall. Relief flooded him and he relaxed back only to have his eyes widen. Every movement sounded with a crinkle of paper. Looking down he saw that instead of his button dress shirt and slacks, he wore only the flimsy paper hospital gown.

"What's happening?" Sebastian whispered out into the quiet room, expecting no answer.

"You were sick. But you don't have to worry. I'm here to help you get better," came a voice from the door where a young male stood. There was hardly any light shining into the room so his face was shrouded in shadows. He stepped into the room. "My name is Ciel Phantomhive and I will be your nurse for tonight," he purred as he flicked on a small light.

"Ciel!" Sebastian couldn't believe that the boy was standing there in front of him. The situation was making him more and more unsettled. Ciel's state of dress did not make him feel anymore comfortable. The boy was in a cliched nurses outfit, skirt and all. It reminded Sebastian of the slutty costumes they sold in stores for girls on Halloween who wanted the naughty nurse look. But if Sebastian memory served right, even those costumes were more modest then the skirt Ciel was wearing.

"What are you doing?" Sebastian's voice cracked, and he tried to get away as the boy approached, only to curse when he found that he could still not move himself.

"Easy, Sebastian. You don't have much strength. You need my help." Ciel now stood by the bed. He reached out and brushed his fingers against Sebastian's cheek. Leaning down, he nipped his ear before licking it. "It's time to take your medicine now." He picked up a bottle and opened it. He poured out the correct amount onto a spoon. "Open wide..." Ciel then stuck the liquid in his mouth and leaned down.

Sebastian's mouth was firmly clamped when Ciel's lips descended upon his own. That was quickly corrected as Ciel's tongue forced its way in, making Sebastian drink the medication. The liquid was hot on his tongue and reminded Sebastian of alcohol, whiskey maybe. It settled in his stomach, heat radiating throughout his body from the substance.

"What did you give me?" Sebastian asked, voice oddly husky.

"Just a simple aphrodisiac," Ciel murmured, tongue licking Sebastian's lips. His hand crept to Sebastian's thigh and slid down to the hem of the paper gown. He kissed Sebastian again as he climbed onto the bed.

As if on cue, Sebastian could feel the heat pooling low in his gut and clear arousal forcing his cock up into an erection. "Ciel... W-we shouldn't be doing this," he tried to reason. "This isn't appropriate." It was so hard to think of why this was bad when Ciel's hand worked its way up Sebastian's thigh until it was grasping at the hardness hidden beneath the gown. In that moment everything felt so good, so right.

Ciel smirked into the kiss. It seemed as though the other male was beginning to give in. His hand stroked Sebastian's cock, and a low moan echoed in the room. Ciel twirled his thumb around the head, smearing pre-cum from the tip. "Do you want my mouth here?" He whispered.

Sebastian shook his head as a contradicting moan slipped past his lips. His mind kept trying to supply reasons as to why this was all wrong. It was a losing fight. He couldn't push Ciel away and the drug was fogging his mind more and more. What was left of his inhibitions was slowly melting away.

"Ciel," he breathed as Sebastian met eyes with the boy. The look that passed between them had tremors of pleasure coursing through him. Sebastian didn't know how long he would last.

Ciel slowly slid the gown up to Sebastian's hips. Holding Sebastian's length, he bent down and gave it a small lick, feeling the other male shiver. He began to tease him with small nips and licks, steadily working his way up until he guided the length fully into his mouth.

Every second that seemed to drift by drove Sebastian further from sanity as he succumbed to the pleasure of Ciel's mouth. It was maddening not being able to move. His body wanted so badly to thrust up into Ciel's mouth, but all Sebastian could do was lay there at the boy's mercy.

Tightness coiled within Sebastian's belly and he gasped out as his oncoming orgasm made itself known. He called out, voice hoarse from moans that could not be withheld. "Ciel... don't." He tried to dissuade the boy, anything to get that wonderful mouth off of himself. The wrongness of everything came slamming back into Sebastian's mind just as his orgasm pushed to be allowed.

Ciel ignored Sebastian, continuing to suck. When Sebastian did come, Ciel swallowed before smirking up at him and crawling up to kiss him. His tongue swept over Sebastian's bottom lip, seeking entrance, and his hand lowered again to Sebastian's cock.

The limp member was massaged and Sebastian felt his eyes droop. Everything around him seemed to fade, except for Ciel's face. Those blue eyes were such a vibrant blue that they pierced the oncoming darkness. "Ciel... Ciel..." Sebastian chanted the name. Each time it became slightly more frantic as the boy finally began to fade as well.

Sebastian's stomach dropped and he shot forward, eyes wide. Ciel's name was on his tongue but it immediately died as his room came into focus. His body was damp with sweat and a far stickier substance between his thighs. Shock poured through him as he tried to make sense of what had just occurred. The dream had been disturbing and Sebastian felt his stomach turn; whether in disgust or desire Sebastian couldn't tell. That alone worried him more than anything else.

"Shit," he cursed, hands coming up to massage his temples. All of a sudden Sebastian wasn't looking forward to Ciel's next appointment. Things had just taken a less than interesting turn and Sebastian was at a loss as to how to deal with this unwelcome development.


	5. Chapter 5

And here is the next chapter! Akiru Chan and I really love this chapter, and we're pretty sure you'll like it, too. And before I forget, if any of you have read 'The Devil's Canvas,' did you catch the quote I snuck in for the last chapter? XD If you did, let me know in a review! Read and review, flame if you must.

**Warning**: Discussion of some religious beliefs!

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the other Kuroshitsuji characters.

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><p>'<em>I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here.'<em>That was the only thought racing through Ciel's mind the next week as he sat in Sebastian's office, waiting for the doctor to arrive so he could have his next injection. He was still embarrassed about his actions from the previous week. Why was it that no matter what, he always ended up doing or saying something stupid?

It wouldn't happen this week. He was determined to not be a burden. He wouldn't have another panic attack, and he most definitely would not kiss Sebastian again.

Ironically enough, a similar train of thought passed through Sebastian's mind as he moved into the room and found himself facing Ciel. '_I don't want to be in this room_.' He felt his face heat up at the sight of the boy. His mind supplied him with the image of a skimpy nurse's outfit and Sebastian fell into a fit of coughing as he choked on his own spit. The dream had been plaguing him all week, and had birthed various versions throughout the past nights, one in which had Ciel perfectly naked while trying to give Sebastian a prostate exam.

"How are you today?" Sebastian finally asked as he tried to fight off the awkwardness.

"I'm doing okay," Ciel replied in a small voice. "Just nervous about the injections again." That was the truth, if only half of it, Ciel conceded. But he'd just let Sebastian think it was just about the shots.

Ciel wasn't the only one nervous about the injections. Sebastian feared what would come about with the usage of the laughing gas once again. It might be for the best if Ciel was slowly weaned of the drug. Today, though, Sebastian would have to keep his guard up while the boy was under the influence and hope that touching could be kept to a minimum.

"Well you did fine last week, didn't you?" Sebastian reminded him.

Ciel highly doubted that having a panic attack not once but twice was 'fine.' Add to that the fact that he had kissed Sebastian not once but twice, and last week was definitely not 'fine.' But he held his tongue and simply nodded. "I guess I did. But every week is different. I never know when I'm going to panic."

"Well remember you do have me here. If that's any reason to feel comforted." There was a sort of condescending sound to Sebastian's laugh, but the man didn't bother to comment further. He didn't want to bring up what was on his mind, not when he didn't want it there in the first place.

Ciel could feel his cheeks burning, and he quickly ducked his head, feigning nervousness. "Yeah. Thanks." He held out his hand, and Seb pressed his head against his fingers, begging to be petted. Ciel was only too happy to oblige, since it took his mind off the events from both the past and the future.

There was a pause, pregnant and uncomfortable, as Sebastian tried to think of what to say. He knew he was only putting off the inevitable, but why rush to a possible doom? Instead, he sat on his stool and busied himself with looking through Ciel's file. The first five pages were looked through again and again, leaving the last three untouched. Sebastian knew what those three pages held, but he dared not read them. It wasn't his business, no matter how much he wanted to know the cause of Ciel's attacks. That part of the boy's past was no concern of his. He would and could wait until Ciel himself felt ready to reveal the past to Sebastian.

"What made you decide to become a doctor?" Ciel asked, breaking the silence. Seb, by now, had rolled over onto his back, and Ciel was scratching his belly.

Sebastian looked up at that question, slightly surprised by it. He shouldn't have been; he'd been asked it often enough, and each time he had given some sappy story to appease the asker. Everyone seemed to expect some heartwarming story about wanting to help people, or some similar story. The truth of the matter was less bright and cheery.

"Do you really want to know?" Sebastian asked, settling a tired look on Ciel.

Ciel blinked. "If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. I know what it's like to have things in your past that..." he trailed off, sure that Sebastian understood what he was saying.

"It's not that. I don't mind talking about it, but you probably won't like the answer," Sebastian said, turning to meet Ciel's eyes. A sudden embarrassment hit and Sebastian forced himself to look away. What was the point? With Ciel, such gestures were pointless. "I wanted to become a doctor for the money. Not to mention, there is an appealing power that comes with the medical practice. Bring someone back from death, or returning their sight. Reminiscent of a god's powers, don't you think?"

Ciel tried to hide a smirk. Money and power? He'd been correct in his earlier assumption, then. That was all that everyone was ever after. Nobody had good intentions anymore. Every action they made was driven by one thing: greed. They didn't care who they hurt as long as they got what they wanted, whether it be money, power, or sex.

An almost hysterical giggle bubbled within Ciel. Yes, everyone had dark motives hidden deep within themselves. That was why it was so difficult for him to trust people. Most of the people he knew had used and abused him for some sick purpose, and he feared it happening again. He shuddered, remembering that time.

Seemingly surprised, Sebastian said, "I knew you wouldn't like my answer, but I didn't think you'd find it humorous." His expression was an odd mix of concern and amusement. "I do suppose the humorous part would be me actually caring past the money for once." The words were mumbled, not intended for Ciel's ears.

"I'm sorry. I just figured that was the case," Ciel said. "Money and power. Isn't that what drives most people? No one does anything unless they get something out of it. What's in it for me, they wonder," he gave a small, humorless laugh before sobering and hugging his knees to his chest. "They'll do anything to feel powerful..."

"Isn't that how society has taught us to be - eat or be eaten? I'm sure you know the world isn't a kind place. It's better to be on top than at the bottom of the food chain. Having money buys safety and security in life." Sebastian shrugged his shoulders. He didn't expect Ciel to understand when the boy was just now entering the adult world.

Ciel burst into laughter so hard, tears formed in his eyes. "Th-that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!" He said a bit breathlessly. "Money can't buy safety and security. If it did, then-" Here he stopped, his eyes darkening and his mouth forming a thin line. "Then I wouldn't be sitting here in your office..." He finished quietly.

Indeed, Sebastian supposed Ciel had reason to say that and it was true in some respects. "Money cannot save you from everything, but in time you will learn that it does give its own security. You are benefiting from it now, are you not? Sitting here in my office and undergoing your treatment, it gives you peace of mind to think that you will see again. Money has given you that." The world held too many evils and unfortunately, Ciel did not realize that whatever had happened to him was only a small portion of what else waited within the dark depths.

Ciel hadn't thought of it that way, and he had to admit that Sebastian had a valid point. This treatment that he was going through was very expensive. An ordinary person wouldn't be able to afford it, but because of the wealth Ciel's family had, it was possible for him. "Touche," he murmured.

Sebastian tapped his pen on the tip of Ciel's nose, making the boy jump. "Indeed, the doctor is always right." He chuckled and turned back around to begin readying the items needed for today's treatment.

Ciel rubbed his nose, wondering if there was now a mark there from the pen. Sighing, he leaned back and waited for Sebastian to finish. His nervousness had reappeared, and he jiggled his right leg impatiently. Seb whined and licked his hand, attempting to soothe his master's frazzled nerves.

"So," Sebastian began as he moved back to Ciel's side, "gas or no gas?" He waved the mask around, the rubber and plastic making a unique rustling sound.

Ciel paused, wondering which was the lesser evil. "We can try the gas again," he said slowly. "It might bother me, but I don't think it will be as bad as not using the gas."

Nodding, Sebastian proceeded to fix the mask over Ciel's face and turned on the release so that the medication could take affect. "I'll give you a minute and then I'll proceed with the injections." The doctor went back to gather the syringes and readied them for the task at hand.

Ciel let the gas cloud his mind, and he closed his eyes. He kept his thoughts directed at safe subjects to prevent a panic attack. Even as Sebastian stuck the needles in his eyes, he refused to succumb to his fears. He could do this; he just needed to have that mindset, and he would be fine.

With steady hands, the needle was removed and placed on a tray. It was done, but Sebastian had the oddest feeling that the worst was yet to come. The mask was removed to reveal a whimsical look on Ciel's face. "Sit still," Sebastian ordered, and moved away to take care of cleaning and disposal.

Ciel obeyed, curling up into a little ball. His eyes were closed as he hummed to himself with the occasional giggle interrupting the melody. Seb kept a careful watch on him, eyes never leaving him.

"Sebastian?" Ciel suddenly called out.

"Yes?" Sebastian turned from what he was doing to regard the boy. Blue eyes were looking to his right, but instantly moved the moment Sebastian spoke to settle on the doctor.

"Can I have chocolate chip cookies again? They were really good last week. Of course, I like anything that's sweet," Ciel rambled. "I used to get in trouble when I was younger because I'd sneak into the cookie jar before dinner."

"Maybe later when I know you can walk." Having Ciel up and walking now would turn disastrous. Disorientation plus blindness did not mix and Sebastian did not want to resort to carrying the boy again. He had already had to answer for the incident last week in the garden. "For now just stay put."

"Okay," Ciel agreed, happy that Sebastian hadn't said no. He concentrated on feeling better so that he could have the cookies faster. It seemed childish, he knew, to be so obsessed with the sweets, but he had a sweet tooth. Silence rose in the room for a few minutes before Ciel spoke again. "I brought a book to read later."

This perked Sebastian's interest. Reading had always been a hobby of Sebastian, and he was always looking for reasons to speak of literature and the like. "What are you reading?" he asked, rolling over towards the boy.

"I'm reading _Faust,_" Ciel replied. "I finished the 'First Part of The Tragedy,' and it's really good so far." He paused here, thinking on his next words. "Faust is an idiot, though, I think."

"You're reading Goethe's version?" It was Sebastian's favorite retelling of the old German tale. Goethe's Mephistopheles was much more entertaining then Marlowe's interpretation of the demon. He smiled as he thought back to when he had first read the play and decided that perhaps Ciel was right. Faust was idiotic for making such a contract, but that was human nature. Always wanting more and more until things turned out for the worst, and then they wanted to take none of the consequences. Faust was indeed lucky to have God's help in the end. "He was a coward," Sebastian said at last.

Ciel hummed. "Yes, he was. If I ever made a deal with a demon, then I at least would make it something better than asking for wealth. And I wouldn't beg and plead for my life, either." A small jolt traveled through his body, and he instinctively scrunched into a little ball, whimpering.

_The glint of a sharp knife in the candlelight. "Please, don't kill me," he sobbed._

_The excruciating pain that raced through his entire being. "I can't see!" He screamed._

_The blessed oblivion that took over. "Someone... Help me..." he murmured._

The whimpers turned into terrified screams.

"Was there a bit of hypocrisy in that statement?" Sebastian wondered as his hand came to tenderly soothe Ciel with gentle pats against the boy's head. "I wonder if you pleaded for yourself as wrongs were done upon you. Were you indeed Faust in the end?" It was with grim fascination that Sebastian asked this of the troubled boy. Upon the table he looked like a child, huddled and whimpering between terror filled screams.

Ciel gasped for air as the fear clawed at his throat, making it nearly impossible to breathe. He felt a soft touch on his head, so different than the ones he was experiencing in his panic attack. He choked on a sob as he reached out a hand, grasping onto Sebastian's sleeve and refusing to let go. The comforting and familiar scent of the doctor surrounded him, replacing the dank, musty smell of his memories.

"Don't be Faust again." The doctor's voice was closer, whispered into Ciel's ear. "Don't let these memories force you upon your knees. Don't let them make you beg."

Ciel's breathing began to even out as he listened to Sebastian. They were just memories of the past. They couldn't hurt him anymore. The terror ebbed slowly away, leaving Ciel feeling drained and exhausted. He drew in a shuddering breath, still holding onto Sebastian.

Sebastian's hand drifted from atop Ciel's head, down to his shoulder and then to his arm. It sat hesitant for a moment upon the boy's hand before slipping onto a thigh and then to a more appropriate knee. He gave it a pat and didn't bother to move away. "Better?" Sebastian asked.

Ciel nodded. "Yes, thank you." He felt Sebastian's hand on various parts of his body, but it didn't stir up bad memories. Instead, it helped to relax him even further. He smiled. "I've never felt this comfortable with anyone before."

The hand on Ciel's knee twitched. Sebastian knew what he was doing was wrong; this bond that seemed to be growing was bordering on inappropriate. Neither male moved, nothing changed. The atmosphere was heavy with something Sebastian didn't want to name. He could not fathom what it was about this boy that made him fall out of himself and actually care for the patient beyond the payment they would bring. Never did Sebastian need to push false kindness and pretense into his words when addressing the boy.

"Sebastian? Can I see what you look like?" Ciel asked, his words hesitant. He held his breath, awaiting the doctor's answer.

Scarlet eyes bore into the boy, clouded with confusion. "Ciel I don't-" Sebastian cut himself off as Ciel's raised hand came into view. He understood then what Ciel was asking for. It seemed that it would cross a line that Sebastian was reluctant to pass. Yet, as the word 'No' pressed feebly at his mind, 'Yes' was what tumbled from his mouth with a breathy gasp that seemed to radiate an unwarranted relief.

Ciel reached out tentatively, and his fingertips grazed Sebastian's cheek. He sat up so that he could use both hands, and started at Sebastian's forehead. He felt the soft hair framing the doctor's face, the thin eyebrows that arched over the eyes, and his nose. His cheeks were next, and Ciel faltered slightly as his fingers drew closer to where Sebastian's lips were, instead choosing to bypass them in favor of the chin.

Finally, Ciel took a deep breath and raised his trembling hands to the older male's lips. They were still as soft as he remembered, and the inexplicable desire to kiss him rose inside him once more. He knew that this time, he would not accidentally kiss his cheek, since he could tell where his lips were.

Ciel moved his head forward slightly, his fingers still pressed to Sebastian's lips. He felt Sebastian stiffen as he moved closer until he was a mere breath away. And then there was no distance at all.

Dreams did not compete against the real thing - was what Sebastian thought at first. He didn't even remember Ciel's lips feeling so soft during the accidental kiss, as Sebastian thought of it, on the bench. It was an exquisite feeling and there was nothing the doctor could do to resist it.

Sebastian leaned in against his better judgement, hands coming up to wind into Ciel's hair and pulling the boy closer. Their lips worked against one another. It was an intimate action, one out of place for who they were. The sudden realization had Sebastian pulling away, his hands up in the air beside Ciel's head as he wondered how they had come to be there in the first place.

Ciel froze when he no longer felt Sebastian's lips against his. His hands slowly lowered away from the doctor's face, and he let them fall limply to his side.

Sebastian had pulled away. Why, Ciel wasn't certain. He'd seemed to enjoy the kiss; he'd even responded to it. So why had he stopped? Tears burned at Ciel's eyes, and he quickly tilted his head down so that the other male didn't see them.

Sebastian had read Ciel's file. That was the only explanation that Ciel could come up with. The things written in the file weren't pleasant, and very few people actually knew everything that had happened. So if Sebastian had read it, then he knew everything.

That thought made Ciel flinch, and he felt so dirty and used; he just wanted to go home and take a shower to scrub away their memories. He hugged himself, fingers scraping lightly at the tiny needle marks on his upper arms.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." The apology sounded hollow even to Sebastian's ears. He didn't feel guilty for what he had done; he had wanted, and it was obvious that Ciel had wanted it as well. Taking a chance, Sebastian's hands resettled themselves on the boy's cheeks. The dampness of them had the doctor frowning and he tilted Ciel's head up to see the tearful eyes.

Sebastian leaned in and kissed a falling tear away. "We shouldn't be doing this," he said, hoping to convince himself more so than Ciel. "I'm your doctor, and I can only be that. Propriety won't allow for more."

Ciel's sightless eyes stared blankly ahead. Sebastian had apologized, and what he'd said did make sense, but Ciel couldn't help but wonder if he was withholding more information than he was letting on. Perhaps Sebastian was merely using their patient/doctor status as an excuse so he didn't have to tell Ciel the real reason they couldn't do that. Ciel's mind went back to his file. After reading that, who would want him?

"Okay," he whispered finally, leaning back away from the doctor, a subtle hint that he didn't want to be touched anymore.

All physical contact ended as Sebastian moved back to sit on his stool. He still watched the boy, seeing what he wanted but could never have. After the past week of forbidden dreams, to be given a real taste of that desire was addicting. Sebastian wanted more of Ciel, and was hard pressed not to lean forward once more to claim the boys lips.

"We can't," Sebastian said again to himself. "I'm a decade older then you. You're still just a boy and my patient." His hand flew to pinch the bridge of his nose as his warring thoughts threatened him with a headache.

Ciel sat there in silence for a few minutes before he felt like he could now talk without breaking down. "I'd like to read my book now," he stated, his voice devoid of any emotion. Even his facial expression was carefully wiped clean; there was nothing to give away what he was thinking.

"Yes, of course." The older man paused, debating over his next words. "If you'd like, you could relax in my office. I have a patient to see soon, but at least there, no one will bother you." Sebastian's offer was innocent enough. He was sure the boy didn't want to spend more time than necessary with him at the moment. At least Ciel could lay back and get comfortable on the couch while he read opposed to the stiff examination table he was on now.

"That would be fine," Ciel said. He didn't care where he went; he just wanted to be alone. He hopped off of the table, not expecting his knees to buckle from being stiff due to sitting for so long.

Sebastian caught him in one fluid movement, pressing the boy against his chest to keep him stable. "Are you alright?" he asked, true concern flashing in wine red eyes. Not that Ciel could see, but perhaps he could hear it in the tone of the man's voice.

"Don't touch me!" Ciel fairly shrieked, pushing away from the doctor. He stumbled backwards and slammed his arm into the examination table. He let out a hiss of pain, his hand immediately flying to his arm to rub at the sore spot.

"Ciel!" Taking no heed to Ciel's words, Sebastian rushed forward to examine the boy. "What do you think you're doing? You're going to hurt yourself," he reprimanded gently as Ciel's arm was checked over. There would probably be a bruise but nothing more serious.

Ciel didn't pull away this time, instead allowing the doctor to touch him. His arm did hurt, and he knew that it would be even more stiff and sore by tomorrow. His fingers twitched as he wondered if Sebastian was able to see the marks present in his skin. Not that it mattered, since he had read Ciel's file. He bit his lip, turning his face to the side.

"I'm okay," he said flatly.

"Are you sure?" Sebastian pushed, not very convinced with how Ciel was currently acting. He wasn't sure what he had done to warrant such indifference. Had Sebastian's refusal of Ciel really hurt the boy that much? The man was still confused how such a mutual attraction had sprouted in the first place.

Ciel shrugged. "I've been hurt worse than this," he whispered softly and visibly shuddered, trying to squelch the memories threatening to overwhelm him again. He stood, holding onto the table until he was sure that he wouldn't fall over.

A warm hand brushed away Ciel's hair to reveal blue eyes. "Have you?" Sebastian asked and cupped the boy's cheek. It felt soft against his palm, and he found himself stroking it lightly.

"Yes. It's how I lost my sight. Trauma to the back of my head," Ciel's voice was steady and unwavering. He resisted the urge to lean into Sebastian's touch, despite how good it felt.

"I see," but Sebastian didn't comment further on it. What Ciel had been through was none of his business. A small part of Sebastian wanted to know, but more so because he wanted to make it all better. He wanted to stop the tears and bring back the smiles. Above all else, he wanted Ciel to see once more.

Ciel gave him a small, sad smile. "Are we going back to your office now?" He questioned, snapping his fingers. Seb trotted over and stood patiently by Ciel.

Nothing was said for a moment. Sebastian stared down at Ciel, contemplating. Taking a chance, he swooped down to lay one last lingering kiss upon Ciel's lips. This might be the last time he ever got the chance, so he saw no wrong in the act. Pulling back, he hesitated for only a second and retreated back to give Ciel some room.

"Let's get going," he said and moved towards the door.

Ciel remained where he was in complete shock. He hadn't been expecting Sebastian to kiss him. He touched a finger to his lips, feeling them tingle. "Why?" The question, although hardly above a whisper, echoed in the room.

Why what? There was so much to question in that moment. Sebastian shrugged and hummed in the back of his throat. "I wanted to remember," he said and left it at that as he fell into thought.

Ciel said nothing more, merely followed Sebastian from the examining room to his office. He had a lot to think about. He was still slightly hurt that Sebastian had pulled away from the kiss, stating that it wasn't right because they were doctor and patient. But if that was the case, then why had he kissed him a second time? Simply because he wanted to remember?

Ciel knew that until he figured this whole thing out, he wouldn't have any rest.

They made it to the office quickly enough, Sebastian only having to stop them when a nurse asked if everything was alright with all the screaming she had heard prior. Sebastian had just smiled and nodded, shrugging the incident off as if it were nothing. And in every truth, it was nothing compared to what had transpired soon after.

Pushing open the door, Ciel was ushered in and moved to sit on the couch. "I'm doing a quick consultation. It shouldn't take long, so I should be back soon." Sebastian announced before leaving the room quickly. He was already five minutes late due to the incident and he would have to hurry.

"Okay." Ciel snuggled onto the couch after grabbing his book. Finding his bookmark, he opened it to the page he had left off on. His fingers trailed down the page, searching for the place he had last read. When he had found it, he settled back and began to read.

Time seemed to fly by as he read, becoming absorbed in the tragic story of Faust. Sebastian's words came rushing back to him, and he set the book aside after saving his place. Was he like Faust whenever a panic attack hit? Did he beg and plead to be spared? Was he as pathetic as Faust?

He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to that question.

Twenty minutes later, a knock sounded at the door. It was light but loud in the quiet room. Without hearing so much as a 'come in,' the door opened and Sebastian peeked his head into the room. He wasn't too sure if the boy wanted him there or not. If worse came to worst, Sebastian could just head over to the labs and look over some things to pass the time.

"Can I come in?" he asked, feeling a little funny for having to ask to enter his personal office.

Ciel's head turned towards the door. "Sure," he replied, a bit puzzled as to why he had asked. Scooting up on the couch so that he was sitting, he hugged his knees to his chest. There was an awkward tension filling the air, and Ciel wasn't sure what to do to get rid of it.

The door was closed with a resounding snap and Sebastian moved into the room. He stood awkwardly, not knowing if he should chance sitting on the couch next to Ciel or his own padded office chair. It would probably be for the best if Sebastian began to put some space between himself and the boy. Nothing could grow between them; it would be doomed to fail from the moment it started.

Ciel might have been one of a kind, but Sebastian did not think the boy was worth losing his licence over.

Ciel listened to Sebastian as he made his way to the chair behind his desk. He gave a sad smile; it appeared as though the doctor didn't want to be anywhere near Ciel. But it was probably for the best, anyways. With his past and history of panic attacks and post-traumatic stress disorder, a person would have to be crazy to subject themselves to a life of not knowing what will spring an attack.

The young boy grabbed his book, holding it in front of his face under the pretense of reading it; he was just using it to hide behind. He didn't want Sebastian to see the tears that had crept back into his eyes.

"What part are you on?" Sebastian asked after a moment. Silence would do them no good, and would only birth more tension. Neither one of them needed that, not after a different sort of tension had settled within Sebastian's gut.

Ciel blinked. "I'm on Act Five now. Pretty soon, Faust will die, although he got off rather easy in the end. Angels took his soul to heaven instead of Mephistopheles taking his soul."

Sebastian hummed and leaned back into his chair. "People never quite get what they deserve, don't you agree? Our God has an interesting sort of humor." Fingers tapped upon the wood, filling the room with that persistent sound.

Ciel snorted. "God? Do you believe in a god?" He set his book beside him; the conversation was becoming rather interesting and he didn't want to miss any of it.

"I do believe in a god, but it's another matter entirely whether I bow down to him or not." The doctor's voice was flat and unamused. "He cares not for humanity and I care not for him. If that means that I shall be sent to hell, well then so be it."

"I don't think he exists, personally. Or if he does exist, he obviously doesn't care," Ciel stated. "I went to church with my family, I prayed diligently, and look what happened to me. He didn't save me when I asked him to. He let me go through all of that; he abandoned me."

"And thus is this hell he's allowed us to live in. What else can you do but grovel around like a dog and try to find some peace for one's self?" What depressing matters they had found themselves talking about. Sebastian couldn't say he enjoyed the conversation, but what else could he talk about? Ciel seemed at ease with his words so it was of no worry to Sebastian. He sighed and turned his chair to fully face Ciel, their knees now only inches from touching one another.

Ciel hummed in reply. "How true." He leaned back, feeling more at ease now than he had been before, and gave a light chuckle. "I bet you've never had a conversation like this with any of your other patients."

"Of course not, but you seem to make a habit of making me make exceptions to my rules." Against his better judgement, Sebastian patted Ciel's knee. How Sebastian had moved from touching Ciel's shoulder to his knee was a mystery in itself. He didn't think much of his actions at the moment, knowing that if he did this scene would end.

Ciel tilted his head to the side. "Exceptions to your rules?" He echoed, curious as to what he meant. His heart rate sped up slightly as he wondered if Sebastian was alluding to the fact that they had shared several kisses now. If that was the case, did the doctor mean that he wanted to continue that? Although Ciel tried to persuade himself that he was wrong in his thinking, a small part of him still hoped that he was correct.

"I'm usually very particular about not getting close to my patients. They are just one face in many to come. I don't have time to deal with them or to care whether the treatments work or not. Just feed them the good doctor act and they are satisfied enough." Sebastian sighed and the squeak of the chair resounded in the room as he reclined back. "But you-" he eyed Ciel. "Are something different entirely, aren't you? Not only did you make me care, but you also make me want to..." Sebastian trailed off to fill the room with a pregnant silence. The unsaid 'kiss you,' 'hold you,' 'have you,' hanging heavily in the air.

Ciel clenched his hands together tightly. He was hardly breathing, too anxious about what Sebastian was saying. He nervously licked his lips. "Sebastian...?" He spoke hesitantly. "Will you kiss me? Please?" He added as an afterthought.

"Do you understand what you're asking for?" Sebastian said after a moment. To pursue this, whatever this was, would lead to hardships and hells that Sebastian wasn't sure he wanted. Everything was happening way too fast on top of everything else. Of course, he had to admit, the attraction had always been there, but the birth of this sexual tension had been new and too far into the unknown.

Ciel nodded slowly, then blushed and looked away. "I...I like you," he confessed. "And not just in the casual way. But... I don't know; I guess there's something about you that is pulling me in. If that makes any sense," he murmured.

It made perfect sense, for that was the same feeling Sebastian experienced whenever he was around the boy. "There are so many things going against this. So many reasons for us to stop here and never look back." His voice drew closer as he spoke, contradicting his words as he moved closer still.

The scent of old spice grew stronger, and Ciel closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. "Do you want to stop?" He asked softly as he also leaned forward.

Sebastian didn't answer as his lips met Ciel's for the third time that day. Once more, he fell victim to the lure and intoxication the boy offered. He did not know if it was worth stopping, or if continuing on this path would be worth the hardships to come. Nothing made sense and for once in Sebastian's life, he didn't know what to expect. It scared him and excited him all at once. In this moment, he decided, would be about Ciel and nothing else. Sebastian would drown in this drug. Whether he got addicted or not would surely seal his fate.

Ciel was trembling from both excitement and apprehension. He was kissing his doctor again, and even though he had asked this time, he was nervous because he didn't want to look like an idiot. He feared it was already too late for that, however. He was entirely unsure of what to do with his hands, so he simply clutched the couch cushions, his fingers digging into the fabric.

A tongue darted out to lick at Ciel's lips, tasting the boy. Sebastian wasn't sure what would accurately describe Ciel's flavor; it was both sweet and salty and altogether wonderful. He pressed closer to the boy, hands winding around shoulders and pulling Ciel as close as he could despite their positions. A nip at Ciel's lips and Sebastian gained access into the boy's mouth, taking full advantage of the situation. His tongue met boldly with Ciel's and slid across the wet muscle, giving it a teasing stroke.

Ciel gasped into the kiss. This aspect of intimacy was new to him, and he could feel his cheeks burning from embarrassment. He shyly slid his tongue against Sebastian's and hoped that he was doing it right. He was conscious of Sebastian's arms wrapping around him and stiffened slightly, ready to push away if he felt the need.

Sebastian's hands traveled up Ciel's back to bury themselves in dark hair. After a moment more of this, his tongue retreated and a few last kisses were placed upon Ciel's lips before Sebastian drew away altogether. The man's hands were still tangled in raven hair and Sebastian could not find it within himself to let go.

"Sorry," Sebastian breathed. He hadn't intended to escalate the kiss to such an extent, but it seemed Ciel really did force him to make exceptions for everything.

Ciel swallowed hard, his eyes glazed over. "It's okay. I've just...never been kissed like that," he admitted as the red tint to his cheeks became even more obvious. "You were actually my first kiss." After that sentence left his mouth, Ciel clamped it shut, determined not to embarrass himself further. Why did he keep babbling about unimportant things?

Sebastian smiled and brought Ciel's hand to his lips to kiss. "I feel honored then," he said. There was something uplifting knowing that Ciel had been granted one pleasant thing in his youth. It was obvious that a lot of things had been stolen from Ciel's childhood. At least Sebastian could give the boy the excitement of his first kiss.

Ciel bit his lip to keep himself from grinning like an idiot. For some unexplainable reason, he was excited. Never in a million years did he think that this would ever happen to him. He'd always thought that anyone who found out about his past would keep him at arm's length.

His smile faltered slightly as he remembered that Sebastian had read his file. Why was he being so nice to Ciel, then? Could it be out of pity? He felt sorry for everything that the boy had gone through so he decided to play nice for a bit to make him feel better?

"Your mom will be here soon." Sebastian said after a quick glance to the clock. Time had gone by far too quickly and Sebastian wasn't ready to relinquish Ciel. On the bright side of things, soon the boy would be coming for his overnight stays. They would be granted endless time to spend together and talk. Just talk. Sebastian would have to be careful and keep these moments of intimacy at a low.

Ciel gave a small sigh. "I kind of figured it was close to when she'd be coming." He stretched his arms above his head and hissed as the pain in his arm grew. "Ow," he rubbed at the tender spot. "This will take a while to heal."

"You'll be fine by next week." A pat was given to Ciel head as Sebastian stood and stretched his own body. Joints popped and he let out a satisfied sigh.

Ciel was about to reply when a knock was heard on the door, and Rachel entered after being told to come in. She smiled brightly. "Hello. How did everything go this week?"

Ciel looked over in Sebastian's direction. He wasn't sure what to say about the bruise on his arm, and he knew that his mom would notice it soon enough.

"Things went well. Although Ciel had a little spill due to the laughing gas. Got up too quickly and got lightheaded, but he's fine." Sebastian smiled at Rachel and reached out to shake her hand. He hadn't appreciated the woman's timing but made no comment on it.

Rachel gasped. "Oh, Ciel. Your arm!" She rushed over to look at it.

Ciel looked embarrassed at the attention he was getting. "Mom, it's fine, honestly," he groaned.

Rachel straightened and sighed. "I'm sorry. You're eighteen. You don't need me anymore." She smiled sadly at Sebastian. "They grow up so fast."

Ciel buried his face in his hands. "Mom, can we please go? I'm tired."

"All right, then. Thank you, Sebastian, and we'll see you next week," the woman stated.

"Take care Ciel." Sebastian fell back into his chair as soon as they left; face going into his hands. What was he getting himself into? He didn't know and groaned at his idiocy. It was too late now, Sebastian supposed. His fate was sown and it was only a matter of time to see what would grow because of it.

Hopefully it would be worth it.


	6. Chapter 6

So no one caught the quote in Chapter Four that I took from "The Devil's Canvas"? I suppose I'll have to tell you all. In Sebastian's dream, Ciel asks "Do you want my mouth here?" That is taken from Chapter Two of "The Devil's Canvas." Now, on to this chapter! Read and review, flame if you must.

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the other Kuroshitsuji characters.

* * *

><p>Ciel loved being home. He felt safe there, and he knew the layout of the entire house since it hadn't been changed in the eight years he'd been blind. Here, it didn't matter if he had a panic attack or a nightmare. He knew that either his mother or father would hurry to his room to comfort him. He felt like he was able to be himself; he didn't have to pretend to be calm and unafraid.<p>

And that was why he didn't want to go to the hospital for the weekend.

It was now Friday, two weeks after he and Sebastian had begun their...whatever it was. During his past two appointments, Ciel and Sebastian had learned a bit more about each other, although nothing of real importance. It was all knowledge that you wouldn't mind sharing with someone you had just met. Neither of them was ready to delve into the deeper side of a relationship and spill hidden secrets and dark pasts, which suited Ciel perfectly fine. He didn't want to talk about what had happened to him, even though he knew that Sebastian had learned of his past; it was written in his file. There was no way Sebastian could have missed it.

And now Ciel would be spending Friday and Saturday nights at the hospital for observation. Although Seb was allowed to come and he would also be seeing Sebastian again, he was still nervous. It was still a fairly new place, and he was sure to meet new people, too.

His mother's voice calling for him to come downstairs because it was time to leave drifted up the stairs. Ciel curled up on his window seat, eyes squeezed shut. He didn't want to go.

"Ciel, we need to go!" Rachel called once more as she waited at the foot of the stairs. She glanced at her watch and shouted, "We're going to be late!"

"I changed my mind! I'm not going!" Ciel yelled back from the safety of his room. "I think I'll just stay here instead."

"Ciel," his mother pleaded. "Don't make me involve your father, or God forbid, Sebastian!"

At the mention of the doctor's name, Ciel paused. He did want to see Sebastian again, but he was terrified of what could possibly happen.

"_Don't be Faust again." The doctor's voice was closer, whispered into Ciel's ear. "Don't let these memories force you upon your knees. Don't let them make you beg."_

Sebastian's words came flooding back to Ciel, and he knew what he had to do. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and, after taking hold of Seb's harness and his backpack, walked slowly out of his room. "I'm ready. Let's go," he stated as he reached the top of the steps.

Rachel picked up her son's bag and smiled as he made it to the ground level of the home. "That's what I want to hear," she said and quickly headed out the door and to the car to pack Ciel's things in to the trunk.

Ciel felt like he was walking to his doom, but he kept going. He had the odd sense that Sebastian would be disappointed in him if he backed out. It was better to face his fears, he supposed. Once Seb was in the backseat and Ciel was in the front seat, Rachel pulled out of the driveway and began driving in the direction of the hospital.

"I don't think I'm going to make it," Ciel muttered, his face already sheet white.

"Don't be silly, honey. You're usually so anxious to get to your appointments. Just think of this as an extra long one." Rachel tried to comfort her son as best she could. It always pained her when she could not bring ease to Ciel's life as she had once done when he was little.

Ciel didn't say anything back because there wasn't anything that he _could _say back. The only reason he was anxious to get to his appointments was because he was able to see Sebastian. Truthfully, he was eager to see the doctor today, but he wished that he didn't have to stay overnight. Sighing, he leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes. Maybe when he opened them again it would be Sunday morning.

It was already late in the evening and past the time when the doctor's offices closed for the night. As they pulled into the almost empty parking lot, the sun was already beginning to set in the distance. Rachel parked the car and breathed in deeply. This was hard on her as well. It had been many years since the last time she had left Ciel for so long.

"Are you ready?" she asked, undoing her seat-belt.

"Not really," he murmured. "But I'm already here, so I might as well get it over with." He also undid his seat-belt and got out of the car. After letting Seb out and grabbing his bag, he turned to his mom. "Are you ready?"

Rachel said nothing and went to collect her son's bags. The trip to the main lobby was silent and only the ding of the elevator broke it. Level two was chosen and thus the short ride began.

Ciel could tell that this was hard on his mom. During the eight past years, she had been the one that Ciel had relied on the most. And now, he would be staying overnight in the hospital, a place she couldn't come to immediately if he needed comfort. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that she didn't have to worry; that Sebastian would be with him and he would help him through panic attacks, but he feared that the words would be taken the wrong way. So he remained silent.

The walk to Sebastian's office was a familiar one, and Ciel thought that soon he would be able to walk the route by himself using a cane. Each step that he took brought more nervousness, and he felt butterflies in his stomach. Panic began to well inside of him, but he forced it back down. He would not be Faust.

Sebastian was waiting for them in the waiting room. He had no other patients coming for overnight stays so he had the luxury of being there to meet Ciel and his mother. When they entered, he stood and quickly came over to relieve Rachel of Ciel's things.

"It's good to see you," he greeted although he was only looking towards Ciel.

A small smile bloomed on Ciel's face. "Afraid I was going to chicken out?" He asked, hoping that his mom hadn't caught the slight lilting flirty tone he'd used.

"Something like that." Sebastian turned from Ciel then and looked over Rachel. He could tell the woman was just as uneasy about this as her son. Finding it within himself, Sebastian gave Rachel a calming smile and spoke. "He'll be fine. I promise."

Ciel nodded. "Don't worry. I've been doing well so far with the treatments, haven't I?" He tried to ease her mind.

"Just be sure to call if you need me," Rachel said and leaned down to kiss her son goodbye. She left soon after, not wanting to draw out this parting more so than needed. It wouldn't have helped matters if she cried in front of her son.

Ciel listened as her footsteps faded away before slowly turning to Sebastian. He couldn't help a goofy grin from crossing his face. "Um, hi," he said, feeling somewhat nervous for a reason he couldn't explain.

"Hello," Sebastian returned with a smile. "Are you ready?" he asked and led Ciel through the door and to the main areas of the office. There wasn't a soul to be seen, but there was a noise to indicate life coming from the nurse's station. "It'll be just you, me, Mey-rin, and Bard tonight." It was custom to have at least one nurse on hand, and Bard, the lab technician, was always working late.

Ciel nodded again as he trailed after the doctor. "Okay." At least there would only be two other people aside from Sebastian here. If he did have a nightmare, then, not many people would know.

They reached the room where Ciel would be staying, and Ciel set his bag on the floor by his bed. He stood there awkwardly, unsure of what he should do now.

"Would you like to get settled in or go ahead with your injections?" Sebastian asked as he hovered by the door and awaited the boy's decision.

Ciel gulped. "I want to get settled in a little bit first, I think." He cautiously felt for the bed and sat down. Seb laid down by the bed, resting his head on his paws.

Sebastian hesitated by the door. "I'll leave you be, then?" he asked as more of a question than anything else. Truth be told, he had nothing better to do at the moment, and keeping Ciel company would have been no bother. But Sebastian wasn't about to be somewhere he wasn't currently wanted.

Ciel's head snapped over to look in his direction. "No! You can stay. Please," he added, his fingers clutching the sheets. He hoped that he hadn't sounded as desperate as he thought he did.

There was a moment as Sebastian just stood there and regarded the boy, almost debating if he should stay or not. Finally, he nodded his head. "Alright, I'll stay." He moved quietly through the room and sank into the mattress next to Ciel. There was more than a couple of inches between them, and Sebastian allowed himself to stare straight ahead as silence settled.

Ciel was shaking slightly, his nerves finally getting the best of him. Sebastian was a comforting presence beside him, and he slid his hand to the side, searching for Sebastian's. Their fingers brushed against each other's, and Ciel tentatively covered Sebastian's hand with his, knowing that the older man could most likely feel the trembling.

Sebastian did not pull away nor did he return the hold. It wasn't needed; this was enough for now. He wasn't going to start this weekend by throwing the two of them into uncomfortable situations. So instead he sat as a silent pillar for Ciel to lean on for the moment.

The moment stretched on in silence, neither of them feeling the need to say anything, until Ciel shifted and sighed. "Maybe I should have the injections now instead of torturing myself by worrying about it."

"It'll be over quickly. You're an old pro at it by now." The doctor's hand slipped from Ciel's own and weighed heavily on the boy's shoulder. Sebastian gave a squeeze and then stood. He could already feel that it would be a long night. Most likely he would pass out on his couch and leave the late night observations to Mey-rin, unless complications arose. In which case, Sebastian would take over watching Ciel himself.

Ciel gave him a crooked smile. "I guess so. But I'm sure even old pros get nervous at times." He also stood, grasping the harness. He paused. "Seb, sit. Stay," he ordered then took a cautious step forward, hand outstretched and searching for Sebastian.

Sebastian reached out, the boy falling into his arms. "You know you can bring him with you," he said to Ciel while motioning towards the dog. Even thought Sebastian wasn't a fan of the animal, he still knew the dog was important to Ciel.

"I know. But I think I'll be okay as long as you're there," he replied and immediately blushed. He turned his face away from Sebastian, embarrassed by what he had said.

They moved out of the room and down the hall to the only room that was still lit and open. Already, everything was set up and waiting for Ciel. The syringes were filled and sitting on the counter, and beside the examination table was the mask for the laughing gas. Sebastian pushed Ciel in and maneuvered him to the table so that the boy could sit down.

"Have a seat and I'll be right back."

Ciel hopped onto the table and swung his legs back and forth while he waited. He was nervous still, but it wasn't as bad as it normally was. Maybe he was getting used to it. That thought helped to elevate his mood, and a small smile appeared on his face.

"Laughing gas as always?" The answer was always the same, but Sebastian never failed to ask. Perhaps one day Ciel would say no and forgo the gas.

Ciel hesitated. For some reason, he felt that he had to prove to Sebastian that he wasn't Faust, that he wasn't going to beg and plead anymore. He thought that using the laughing gas was perhaps a sign of weakness; that he couldn't handle the injections and memories without it. "No," Ciel said in a small voice.

Sebastian froze, midway to collecting the mask and numbing eye drops. "No?" he parroted, not quite believing what Ciel was saying. "I don't think..." but Sebastian trailed off, not sure what he was trying to say. 'I don't think that's a good idea,' or ' I don't think you're ready for that,' seemed rather demeaning. So he stayed silent and waited, giving Ciel the chance to take it all back.

"Yeah, no laughing gas. I want to see if I can do it without any help," Ciel explained. His courage faltered as he realized that Sebastian didn't seem to think he could do it. "But I can use it if you think I should..."

"I just want to be sure that this is what you want," Sebastian said slowly, putting the mask back down. He came over to deliver the eyes drops which Ciel took with ease.

Ciel nodded, although there was a faint trace of apprehension still in his eyes. "I'll be okay." '_I hope'_, he added mentally.

"Think about it while those drops begin to work." Sebastian leaned back and gave Ciel a tired look. "You have nothing to prove, you know," he said. There was no right way in telling what the boy was thinking with putting on such bravado. It wasn't needed, and Sebastian surely wasn't thinking any less of Ciel because of it.

Ciel lay there quietly. The thought of a needle coming near him still terrified him, so perhaps the laughing gas was needed. He let out a resigned sigh. "I'll take the laughing gas."

A smile quirked at Sebastian's lips, but he said nothing about the boy's sudden change in decision. If anything, Sebastian was relieved. Ciel's first time staying overnight should not start out with bad memories.

The mask was brought over and put on like always, giving Ciel several moments to breathe in deeply and become intoxicated. From there, it was practiced and quick movement from Sebastian. Twice the dose of previous injections were given in each eye, and as always Ciel allowed the poke of the needle with little than a dazed smile.

"All done," Sebastian said once everything had been disposed of and the gas mask retrieved.

"Okay," Ciel chirped, then giggled. "I feel funny, like I'm floating on a cloud." He frowned. "Except you can't really float on clouds."

"No, I don't think you can," Sebastian admitted as he tried his best not to smile. The gas really reverted Ciel to a small child. It was rather endearing to see someone as old as Ciel acting so young.

Ciel turned his head in the direction of Sebastian. "So what are we doing after this?" His foggy mind somehow managed to tell him that he would be spending the next few days here, and he didn't want to do everything all at once and become bored.

Sebastian was actually confused. What would they be doing after this? Normally, Sebastian would toss his patient off into their room to occupy themselves, usually having Mey-rin deal with them when Sebastian wasn't needed. Thinking on it, he supposed dinner would be in order. Any other weekend he would head across the street to one of the cafes to get something to eat and completely disregard the cafeteria downstairs. It wouldn't be professional to take Ciel out to eat, so perhaps hospital food would be on the menu tonight.

It was already getting late, but since Sebastian's office connected to the main building of the hospital there was a good chance that the cafeteria would be open late into the night. He looked down at Ciel and thought over his options. The boy could always be left with Mey-rin like all the others, but Sebastian didn't like the idea of putting Ciel in someone else's care.

"Do you want to get dinner once the gases' effects leave your system?"

"Pizza? And chocolate chip cookies?" Ciel asked hopefully, holding his breath and awaiting Sebastian's answer.

"We'll have to see what they have," Sebastian laughed. Ciel always turned into such a child when under the influence. It was a breath of fresh air.

"Okay." He lapsed into silence for a few minutes, listening to the sound of Sebastian breathing. He could also smell the man's cologne, and he smiled, suddenly wishing that he could have that scent surround him all the time. "You smell good."

Looking surprised, Sebastian pulled back from Ciel and gave his own shirt a sniff. "Thank you..." Sebastian didn't think he smelled all that well, especially after a busy day of work. But who was he to argue with Ciel?

"I always know when you walk into the room," Ciel said, a light blush dusting his cheeks. He bit the inside of his cheek. The stupid laughing gas had a habit of making him say or do things he normally wouldn't. It was embarrassing, but he couldn't stop the words from rolling off his tongue. Hopefully, Sebastian wouldn't think of him as strange and realize that it was the gas's effect.

"What do I smell like?" Sebastian asked, intrigued. He pushed in closer to the boy until he too could smell Ciel's own unique fragrance. It was something earthy and sweet, like cacao powder.

"Old spice," Ciel murmured. He could smell it very distinctly now, and knew that Sebastian must be very close to him. He tilted his head to the side. A strong urge to bury his face in the man's chest to breathe in his scent washed over him, and his fingers twitched forward slightly.

"Is that so?" Sebastian had used the cologne since he was a freshman in university and had never had anyone point out the brand. He moved closer to Ciel, his body coming to hover over the boy. Leaning down, Sebastian buried his nose into Ciel's neck and breathed in the scent. "Do you know what you smell like?" A kiss was laid to smooth skin.

"What?" Ciel asked breathlessly, shivering as Sebastian's lips pressed to his neck. His hand inched forward until he felt the material of Sebastian's sleeve and lightly grasped it.

Not being able to resist, Sebastian's tongue darted out to lick up Ciel's neck. "You smell like chocolate." He paused and took another sampling of Ciel's skin. "But you taste like..." The words trailed off as Sebastian tried to piece together just what Ciel tasted like. He tasted clean, like freshly fallen rain, but he was also salty. "You taste like spring." Sebastian deduced after a moment, thinking of nothing better than that.

"I'm surprised I don't taste like chocolate, too, with how much of it I eat," Ciel mused. His neck tingled where Sebastian had licked him, and his grip on Sebastian's arm tightened a bit.

"Oh, but that'll make other things taste sweet." Sebastian smirked and said no more. He swooped down and kissed the boy on the cheek and trailed to the side until he captured plump lips. The kiss was short and nothing of merit but enjoyed nonetheless.

Ciel closed his eyes, enjoying the simple gesture. His heart was pounding loudly and he feared that Sebastian could also hear it. After the doctor had pulled away, Ciel's tongue flicked out to lick at his own lips. "You taste good, too," he admitted, and his blush became even more prominent against his pale skin. "Ah, sorry. I usually don't say things like that..."

Sebastian smiled. "It's okay. I like hearing you say things like that." His hand ran through Ciel's hair once before pulling away altogether. "We should really get some food. You should be able to walk now."

Ciel blinked. "Wha-? O-oh, right." He cautiously sat up, taking it slowly in case he became dizzy, and swung his legs over the side of the table before sliding off. "Okay, I'm ready now," he announced.

"Good." A hand was held out to Ciel. It was taken, and Sebastian pulled the boy along through the dark halls of Sebastian's floor and towards the elevators. This part of the building was closed on weekends except for Sebastian's office, so it was very likely that they wouldn't run into any one. Not even Mey-rin or Bard seemed to be moving about.

It wasn't until they neared the cafeteria that they began to hear signs of human life. The smell of food was thick in the air and Sebastian felt his stomach rumble. "Do you want to eat here, or take it back to your room?" Sebastian asked as they entered the large room and moved over to the line where they could order.

"Back to my room would be nice," Ciel stated. He didn't want to stay in the cafeteria where there were other people around. He just wanted to be alone. Basically alone, he amended as he felt Sebastian's arm brush against his.

Sebastian nodded and began to order the food. He took the liberty of picking out Ciel's meal since he didn't think pizza and cookies would be healthy considering the treatment. Ciel needed something light, that wouldn't settle heavily in the boy's stomach. So two turkey sandwiches were ordered along with cups of chicken noodle soup, plus apple juice.

Ciel wrinkled his nose when he didn't get what he wanted to eat, but he didn't complain. Sebastian was his doctor, after all, and if he ordered something different, then there had to be a reason for it. He couldn't help a sigh from leaving his lips, though.

"Ready to head back?" Sebastian asked, moving Ciel's hand to grasp at his elbow. He could feel slim hands winding into the fabric as he pulled the young man along. The trip back was just as quick and without any instances of bumping into strangers. Mey-rin was waiting for them when they returned, but Sebastian quickly sent her on her way. She seemed confused at Sebastian's sudden dedication to a patient, but said nothing on it.

Seb stood to greet them when they entered, wagging his tail happily as his master came into view, and gave a small bark then trotted over to them. Ciel smiled. "Hey, boy. You're being very good today, Seb."

The dog sniffed the air, eying the food that Sebastian held in his hand, his brown eyes huge as he stared at the doctor, hoping that he would give him a morsel to eat.

Sebastian shooed him away and placed the food on the small table in the room. Everything was separated, Ciel's pushed over to one side of the table while Sebastian's food stayed in front of him. "Leave the dog alone and come eat." Sebastian waved the boy over even though he couldn't see. His hands were held out for Ciel and he awaited the boy to take hold of them.

Ciel grasped Sebastian's hand, allowing him to lead him to the table. His stomach growled, and he realized just how hungry he was, not having eaten much during the day due to apprehension. Sitting down, he carefully moved his hands to find his sandwich and began to eat.

The food was eaten in relative silence, Sebastian only speaking to call Seb away from the table. It was hard to enjoy a meal with a dog trying to nose its way into getting a bite. Overall, the food was enjoyable, but nothing like the cafes Sebastian was used to. Perhaps tomorrow he would run across the street to pick up something to go. Mey-rin would be able to watch Ciel for such a short time.

"How was dinner?" Sebastian asked once Ciel swallowed his last bite.

"It was good. I would rather have had the pizza and cookies, though," Ciel mumbled, leaning back in his chair. He took a piece of bread that he'd saved and held it down for Seb to eat. He figured the dog deserved a little treat for being so good in a new place.

"You'll get fat if you eat only that," The doctor teased. His smile vanished as he watched Ciel feed the dog table scraps, but said nothing on it. Hopefully Ciel would wash his hands after an animal drooled all over him.

Ciel shook his head. "I have a pretty good metabolism. Plus, I don't always eat very much." Or he ended up throwing it all back up. But he didn't mention that last part. Sebastian didn't need to know how badly certain situations still affected him.

Once Seb was done licking his hand, Ciel stood and carefully made his way to the bathroom to wash his hands. He emerged a few minutes later and took his seat again. "What's on the schedule now?" He asked before cringing. He didn't want Sebastian to think that he was relying on him to keep himself entertained.

Sebastian hummed in the back of his throat as he thought. "Whatever you want to do. Usually I leave my patients to themselves or Mey-rin by now." He didn't mean it in any rude way. In fact, Sebastian didn't want to be anywhere but with Ciel at the moment.

"Do you have things you need to do?" Ciel asked. "I don't want to take up any of your time if you're busy." He looked down, bracing himself for the disappointment that was sure to come.

"Nothing that needs my immediate attention. I'm all yours for the night." More or less, Sebastian added to himself. It wouldn't do to fall asleep in Ciel's room. Already it was odd that he was still in here. Both Bard and Mey-rin wouldn't question it verbally to him, but he knew Mey-rin was already noticing his sudden interest in Ciel.

A relieved smile spread across Ciel's face, and he looked back up. "That's cool." And it was, but now he wasn't sure what they were supposed to do. He couldn't play any card games or board games, so all that was left to do was talk.

"Anything you want to talk about?" He ventured, tilting his head to the side.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Sebastian tossed back, figuring Ciel would know the safe topics. The last thing Sebastian wanted was to force the boy into a frightened fit.

Ciel frowned. "I actually don't do a lot of talking. I mostly stay at home, except for the occasional times I go to see my dad at his company. And I don't have any friends that I talk to."

"Do you like going to your dad's company?" It wasn't the most interesting of topics, but Sebastian supposed it would get the ball rolling. He couldn't blame Ciel for being a little apprehensive to talk about his current living conditions. Sebastian's life wasn't much more exciting then the boy's.

"It's okay," Ciel shrugged. "Most of the time, I just sit in his office and read, which can get boring after a while. And sometimes, I go with my mom to the different charities that she supports."

Read, that reminded Sebastian and he turned to fully regard the boy. "Did you finish Faust?" He asked, truly interested to hear the boys answer.

"Yeah, I did. The ending wasn't what I had hoped, though," Ciel said. He was obviously disappointed.

"Did you want Mephistopheles to take Faust's soul?" Sebastian had to admit that he had hoped for a similar ending, but perhaps that was just his sadistic side talking. The world was riddled with happy endings and happily ever afters.

"He would have gotten what he deserved then," Ciel stated simply. "And I would have been much happier with the ending. Not everyone has a fairy tale ending." He paused, rethinking his words. "No, fairy tale endings don't exist."

"Is that so? No happily ever afters for you?" A cruel smile twisted Sebastian's face but he said no more. There was no wrong or right answer for whether happy endings existed. It was in the eye of the beholder, he supposed. But one truth of the world was that nothing was ever perfect. Perhaps realizing and accepting that was the key to dying happy at the very least.

Ciel shook his head. "I'm not sure. If I get my sight back, I'm sure that will make me happy. But I'm not sure if my life will magically get better just because of that. There's still...issues I need to deal with." He fell silent.

Everyone had issues, and Sebastian had no doubt that one day Ciel would sort through them. The boy was strong, that much was for sure. "You'll get there," he said quietly. "To your happy ending."

"Will I?" Ciel questioned softly, a frown forming on his lips. He supposed that he'd always resigned himself to a life of panic attacks and blindness, but was Sebastian telling him the truth? Was there a happy ending out there for him somewhere?

"I'm sure you will. So long as you believe it." Sebastian reached forward to ruffle Ciel's hair affectionately. The boy deserved more then the shitty life he had resigned himself to.

Ciel smiled then, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the soft touch. A contented look was on his face, and he let out a small sigh. "Feels good," he murmured.

The roughness of Sebastian's hand evened out into a gentle stroking. Fingers combed through Ciel's hair, running all the way to the boy's neck and massaging the muscles there. "Does it feel good?" Sebastian wondered out loud in a hushed voice.

"Yeah. I've been nervous and tense all day. My body is complaining right now," Ciel let out a small laugh. "You should have been a masseuse instead of a doctor."

"I used to be for a time during University. It helped pay for some summer classes, but I had to stop. Didn't have the time," Sebastian explained as his hands wandered down to the boy's shoulders, easing out tense muscles. Past movements came back to the doctor and he worked the boy's body like he had done many years prior to customers.

Ciel's eyes closed as he further relaxed, but they flew open when Sebastian's hands slipped to his middle back. He stiffened, hoping that the doctor didn't go any lower. His fingers clenched his pant leg tightly as he tried to calm himself down.

Seeing the action, Sebastian's hands retreated and moved back to Ciel's shoulders and neck. They pulled up into the boy's hair once more before retreating all together. "I'll put you to sleep like this." There was humor in tone, topped off with a slight chuckle.

Ciel hummed. "You're probably right, but thanks." He stretched his arms above his head and sighed. "So you mentioned that you had a job as a masseuse before. Any other jobs that you've had?"

A wire thin smile was slipped on and Sebastian leaned his cheek against his closed fist in thought. "During high school, I had a few jobs in the restaurant business, but they never lasted long. University took a lot of time, but during summer when I had classes to pay for or nothing to do at all, I had a job at a veterinary office and working at a bar as a bartender." The vet had been his favorite job by far. It was torture to go in every day and see all the sick kittens and cats, but it was well worth seeing them go home well.

Ciel smiled. "So does that mean if Seb gets sick, you know how to take care of him?" Seb, at the mention of his name, lifted his head up and barked once.

Sebastian laughed. "Oh no, not at all. I just helped clean cages, feed and care for pets being boarded. I didn't actually have any hand in the medical aspects." Although he supposed the body of a dog wasn't too much different than a human's, but that led to thoughts he didn't quite want to bother with.

Ciel nodded, then winced, lifting a hand to his head. He rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes. "Ow..."

"You okay?" In a quick movement, born purely of concern, Sebastian was up and by Ciel's side. He pushed the dog away as he did so, Seb whining and heading to sit by the bed.

"My head hurts. And my eyes hurt, too," Ciel whispered. "It doesn't hurt really bad yet, but I'm afraid that it will. And then..." A lump formed in his throat, and he couldn't talk anymore as the panic began to rise. He didn't want the pain in his head; it only reminded him of everything that he had endured during the Incident. And he didn't want to remember.

"It's okay," Sebastian consoled. "It's completely normal. You body isn't used to such a high dose of medication." Making up his mind, Sebastian hoisted the boy into his arms. They headed to the bed where Sebastian sat, Ciel in his lap.

Ciel kept his eyes closed. Why, he wasn't exactly sure. It wasn't as though doing so would keep the memories away. They would still find him. He turned to lean his head against Sebastian's chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. His fingers clutched the doctor's shirt tightly, and his knuckles turned white. A small whimper escaped his mouth.

"Hush," Sebastian cooed. "It shouldn't last long." His gentle hands stroked through Ciel's hair once more, massaging at the area where he thought the pain would emanate.

Ciel flinched away from the touch, batting the hands away. "Don't touch me there!" His eyes were wide, bright with pain and fear. "It hurts," he whispered, his entire body trembling. "It hurts. And I don't know what I did to deserve it..."

The words that poured from Ciel's mouth tore at Sebastian's heart. He pulled the boy closer and hushed him as best he could. "You did nothing, absolutely nothing." None of this was deserved; Ciel deserved so much more in his life. "It'll go away, I promise." If only Sebastian could give Ciel something to take the pain away, but it would only ruin the treatment process at the moment. But the pain was a good sign. It meant that the damaged nerves were being repaired and brought back to life.

Ciel clung to Sebastian's shirt. To his dismay, tears gathered in his eyes. He furiously tried to blink them back, but a few managed to fall. He tried to bury his face further into Sebastian's chest, feeling weak for allowing the memories to take hold of him again. His fist gripped the material of the shirt tighter, trying to concentrate on Sebastian's scent and touch.

Sebastian pulled Ciel's face from his chest and leaned down to kiss away the tears and all over the boy's face in a small form of comfort. He didn't want Ciel to hurt like this, but there was little he could do. Hands continued to pass through Ciel's hair and Sebastian's lips worked to distract from the pain with kisses.

Ciel let Sebastian kiss him and returned them, his eyes sliding closed as he lost himself in the pleasure. He wiggled slightly closer to the doctor, looping his arms around his neck, fingers threading through his black hair.

Slim thighs straddled Sebastian's waist and he pulled the boy in. One hand stayed tangled in Ciel's hair while the other, the left, stayed obediently at the waist. He made no move to wander from the spot, no lower nor higher. Sebastian's fingers massaged and circled the hip bone tenderly as the kiss continued. Mouths opened and tongues met, crossing a border from a safe point to wander dangerously close to uncharted territory.

Ciel moaned softly, so lost in the bliss of the kisses he was receiving that he completely forgot about the pain in his head. He angled Sebastian's head so that he could kiss him better, all the while mindful of Sebastian's hand on his hip. For now, he was comfortable with where it was, but if it moved elsewhere, he'd be sure to do something about it.

His right hand slowly trailed down Sebastian's neck to rest on his chest, his fingers curling slightly around his shirt. He pulled away from the kiss just enough to take a breath before he leaned forward and nipped lightly at the older man's lower lip.

Trembling hands tightened in Ciel's hair as Sebastian tried to control himself. It had been far too long since he had indulged in such pleasure and it was all too easy to let go and ravage the boy. The thought that no one was likely to interrupt did not help matters. Ciel was here all night, all weekend, and his mother would not be coming to steal Ciel away any time soon.

Ciel tensed a little as Sebastian's fingers dug into his head with a bit more pressure, but he forced himself to relax. Sebastian wouldn't intentionally do anything to hurt him. Or so he hoped. He pulled away, brushing his lips against the doctor's cheek, and his tongue tentatively flicked out to lick at his ear.

"How is your head?" Sebastian asked once he had the freedom of his mouth. He still leaned into the touch of Ciel's tongue, but he tried to focus on keeping his voice steady and his heart from beating out of his chest. Damn this boy who made him lose himself and bless him for the feelings he was able to birth in Sebastian's dead heart.

"It's feeling better," Ciel said quietly. "Thanks." His head nestled comfortably in the crook of Sebastian's neck, and a contented sigh passed his lips. "I almost didn't come today."

"Why is that?" The question was a whisper against Sebastian lips. He relaxed back onto the bed, falling back with Ciel on top of him. Both hands interlocked at the small of Ciel's back and rested there innocently. A sudden calmness seemed to settled in, feeling out of place after such a passionate scene.

Ciel's body stiffened at the sudden change in position, and panic began to worm its way through his insides. "Because I don't like new places, especially if I have to stay overnight," Ciel stammered, his heart starting to pound.

Sebastian smiled. "But you have me here. I make new places all right, don't I?" He leaned up and kissed Ciel sweetly on the nose.

Ciel blushed and ducked his head shyly. "Yeah, you do," he admitted softly, smiling. He carefully raised a hand to Sebastian's face, fingers running over smooth skin to trace over his lips before the blue-eyed boy leaned down and pressed their lips together in a sweet kiss.

The kiss lasted a moment before Sebastian pulled back. "Then relax. You'll have me here, and you know you can always find me in my office." Sebastian was quickly getting the distinct feeling that he would either be staying here until he fell asleep or the boy would eventually make his way to Sebastian's office. He wasn't quite sure how the two of them could sleep comfortably and keep things professional to outside eyes.

Ciel tried to fight back a yawn, and he blinked his eyes sleepily. He was exhausted, his energy having been spent on worrying over the treatment and the overnight stay. He laid his head on Sebastian's chest, the steady beating of the red-eyed male's heart lulling him to sleep, and his eyes began to drift closed.

"Sleepy?" Sebastian asked, chuckling when Ciel mumbled something that couldn't be heard past the fabric of the doctor's coat.

"A little," Ciel murmured. "I didn't sleep well last night, and it's been stressful today, like it usually is whenever I have a treatment." A sudden thought hit him and he clutched at Sebastian's shirt tighter. "You're not going to tell my mom about how nervous I get and how often I freak out, are you?"

This time Sebastian could not keep his amusement to chuckles. A deep booming laugh escaped him and he shook his head from side to side. "Now why would I do that? She might never allow you to come back if I did. And surely we can't have that." A hand came up to ruffle Ciel's hair and soon settled at the back of the boy's neck.

"Because she worries about me a lot. And she'd want to know how I was doing in case she needs to schedule an appointment with my psychiatrist..." Normally, Ciel wouldn't be divulging personal information like this, but he was nearly falling asleep and entirely unaware of what he was babbling about.

"She cares a lot about you," Sebastian agreed. It wasn't hard to see that Rachel cared deeply for her son, not to mention she was increasingly protective. "But you are doing fine. Just look, you haven't had an episode all day. Just a little headache."

"I almost freaked out," Ciel stated between yawns. "And I would have, but you were there." His eyelids drooped even more, and he instinctively curled up closer to Sebastian.

"But you didn't, and that's what matters." Soft as silk hair passed through Sebastian's fingers as he patted and brushed at Ciel's head. It was a soothing action and it was clear that Ciel was being lulled to sleep. Even Sebastian was feeling the affects, his eyes growing heavy as he fought against the tranquility to keep awake.

"Guess so," Ciel's eyes fully closed and his breathing began to even out. Seb lifted his head and looked from Ciel to Sebastian with a small whine. He stood up and trotted over to the bed, his eyes fixed on Sebastian as his tail wagged hopefully.

Sebastian pushed the dog away, shooing him back towards the table. His arms came back to wrap around Ciel and Sebastian found himself relaxing back into the bed. It wouldn't be bad if he relaxed here for a moment and waited for Ciel to fully fall asleep before Sebastian made his way back to his office to sleep. He would only stay here a few minutes more, or so he told himself as his eyelids dropped and his breathing evened out to match Ciel's. And before Sebastian even realized it, he too drifted into dreams.


	7. Chapter 7

I want to thank everyone who has been reading and/or reviewing so far. Akiru Chan and I love to read your comments, and they make us smile. I think we love this story as much as you all do. Read and review, flame if you must.

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the other Kuroshitsuji characters.

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><p>Ciel was slowly pulled from sleep by something licking his hand, which was hanging off the side of the bed. He grumbled to himself, gently pushing Seb away. He rubbed his eyes and, intent on going back to sleep, rolled over to his other side and...<p>

Right onto someone else. Ciel's eyes widened and he let out a small shriek as he immediately jerked back, nearly falling off the bed in the process and accidentally kicking the person in the side as he struggled to maintain his balance.

A loud, pained grown filled the small room as Sebastian turned and clutched at his side. He had been in the middle of a lovely dream and the attack was so sudden that it left him winded and confused. He had no idea what had happened, only being able to grumble his displeasure to himself.

Ciel was shaking as his mind frantically tried to piece together what was going on. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep in Sebastian's arms, and then nothing. "Sebastian?" he asked tentatively, slowly stretching out his hand to feel for the man.

The older man seemed to freeze, scarlet eyes rolling over to focus on the frightened boy. "Ciel?" He asked in return. Sebastian looked just as shocked and unsure as Ciel did, both of their eyes wide and now fully awake.

"I-I didn't mean to kick you. Are you okay?" Ciel found Sebastian's arm, and he took hold of it. He had an apologetic look on his face as he scooted closer. "It just startled me. I'm not used to waking up with someone in my bed." Here he blushed a deep red, but there was more than embarrassment in his expression.

"We slept... Shit." The realization of the situation hit Sebastian and he cursed colorfully under his breath. He had promised himself that he wouldn't let this happen. What if Mey-rin had come in during the night to check on Ciel? What would she think if she saw doctor and patient curled up in a position that was far from suitable? For the moment, he didn't want to think about it. It still felt too early in the morning. "Are you okay?" he finally asked Ciel after a moment.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Ciel offered him a tiny smile. His breathing and heart rate had returned to normal by now. He stretched. "What time is it?"

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure." He fished out his cell from his back pocket and flipped it open. "Nine," he said, followed by the slap of the phone. Soon the time would come to start the day and get Ciel in for some testing. The only challenge was that Sebastian had to sneak back to his office to change and go through his morning routine.

Ciel blinked in surprise. "Really? I slept all night long and didn't wake up at all?" That was the first night in years that he'd been able to do that.

"It would seem neither of us woke up during the night." Sebastian shook his head and stood. Strained muscles stretched and he grunted as joints popped. Despite how well he might have slept, Sebastian was starting to feel the affects of sleeping in a crowded bed and with his clothes on. "I shouldn't have fallen asleep in here at all. But what's done is done."

A tiny smile crept across Ciel's face. He couldn't help but attribute his good night's sleep to the fact that Sebastian had been with him. Granted, that probably wasn't the case, but he figured there was no harm in thinking that in his mind. His stomach growled, interrupting him from his thoughts.

Garnet eyes rested upon Ciel, a light amusement showing in them. "I suppose you want breakfast?" Sebastian wouldn't be able to leave the office anytime soon, but he could send Mey-rin down to grab two plates to eat from the cafeteria. Eating hospital food two days in a row didn't settle well with the doctor, but he'd be sure to go out to get real food from a cafe for dinner.

Ciel nodded. "Sure. What do they have for breakfast? Or are you going to choose what I eat again?" He asked, sightless eyes narrowing at the doctor.

"No, but only because I haven't a clue what they'll be serving. You'll have to ask Mey-rin, or you could go with her." Sebastian didn't think Ciel would take the offer, but he threw it out there anyways. It would give the boy something to do while Sebastian got ready for the day and filled out some papers on Ciel's progress.

Ciel shook his head. "I'll just ask Mey-rin. I don't feel like moving around too much right now. I'm actually kind of tired a bit." He wondered if it was because of how much sleep he'd gotten; he'd heard that too much sleep could cause tiredness.

"How's your head?" Sebastian asked as more of an afterthought than out of any real concern.

"It doesn't hurt right now. I think it might again after the next treatment, though." Ciel was quiet for a moment. "Sebastian? Do you think it's working?"

"The pain is a good sign. It means your damaged nerves are repairing and that the medication is doing it's job." Sebastian stood and moved towards the door. He didn't have much more time to waste, not when he should have been up by eight. "Just wait until you start seeing blurred monochrome shapes. Then we know you are moving towards seeing again."

Ciel frowned. "That's going to drive me crazy, but I suppose I'll have to live with it. If the treatment even works, that is," he added, feeling pessimistic at the moment. "How many people have undergone this procedure?"

Sebastian laughed at that. "I suppose seeing that would drive some crazy, but you'll get used to it." He ruffled Ciel's hair and moved to stand next to the door. "I have work I have to do, but I'll send Mey-rin in to get your breakfast order. Then once you eat, you are free to do as you please. I'll be in my office if you need me."

Ciel scowled as the doctor left without answering his question. Sighing, he flopped onto the bed and curled up. Today was going to be very long and boring; he could feel it. He grumbled to himself while he waited impatiently for the nurse to come in. With a start, he realized that he was still wearing the same clothes as he had been the day before. That had him scrambling for his bag and hurrying into the bathroom to change. After quickly throwing on clean clothes, he exited the bathroom and almost ran into Mey-rin.

"Sorry!" She exclaimed and fretted over him to make sure she hadn't hurt in any way. "Mr. Phantomhive, I didn't see you there. I'm so sorry." Mey-rin continued her apologies with no end in sight.

"I'm fine," Ciel stated, looking slightly bewildered by her babbling. "Um, Sebastian sent you in here to get my breakfast order?" He questioned, hoping to get her attention back on track.

Mey-rin paused, a sheepish expression crossing her face. "Y-yes, he did. What would you like, Sir?" Her voice was shaky, with nerves most likely.

"Do they have waffles?" Ciel asked. He hadn't had waffles in a while, and he was hungry for them.

"Um... I believe so." She looked unsure, but didn't seem willing to voice it. "Shall I get you that and... What would you like to drink?"

"I'll take apple juice, please," the blue-eyed boy said, all the while wondering how on earth this woman had become a nurse.

It didn't take a second for Mey-rin to turn and leave the boy's room, with both Ciel's and Sebastian's orders in mind. The doctor had intercepted her moments before she had come to Ciel's room.

Ciel carefully walked over to his bed and snapped his fingers. Seb trotted over, pressing his head against the boy's hand, and gave a low whine. Ciel chuckled. "After breakfast, I'll take you outside, okay?" He wasn't sure if Sebastian would be free to go with him, but he didn't want to go by himself. That thought made his stomach turn, and he forced himself to think on something else. If he became panicked now, he wouldn't be able to eat very much.

A couple of minutes ticked by, and soon Ciel heard the nurse hurrying down the hallway. He glanced in the direction of the door, hoping that she would hurry up. He was starving.

Mey-rin poked her head in seconds later and placed the boy's breakfast on the table. "Enjoy!" she said and exited the room as quickly as she had come.

Ciel blinked, not having been able to tell her thank you. He shrugged it off, figuring that maybe she had other things to do. He sighed and began to eat. The waffles tasted delicious, and he quickly finished them, then drank his juice. He stood up and hesitated, not sure what to do with his plate. Deciding to leave it there for now, he grabbed onto the harness. "Come on, Seb. Let's find Sebastian."

Walking out of the room, Seb led him down the hallway and stopped in front of the doctor's office. Ciel went to open the door but stopped. What if Sebastian had a patient in there? He didn't want to be rude and intrude if that was the case. He stood there awkwardly, trying to decide what to do.

There was a moment of silence, only the jingling of Seb's tags in the empty hallway. A muffled, "Come in" sounded from the other side of the door, courtesy of Sebastian. The man had known the boy had been standing there, hearing the jingle of tags along with nails on tiled floors and Ciel's footsteps.

The door creaked open, and Ciel poked his head in. "I'm not interrupting, am I?" He asked, an apprehensive look on his face.

Sebastian looked up from his desk with a smile. He had already changed, sitting in navy slacks, a pale pink button up top, with a navy tie. For the time being he had discarded his white coat, finding it too restricting. "You're not," Sebastian said, putting a paper to the side. "In fact, I was just looking for a distraction." Filling out documents was the bane of the young doctor's life; he could do without such tasks.

Ciel smiled as he walked over to the couch and sat down. "A distraction, huh? I suppose I can help out with that." He tilted his head. "I have to take Seb outside. He hasn't been out since yesterday sometime."

"So to the garden?" The sound of a chair scraping on tile and the shuffle of fabric filled the room as Sebastian stood. He made a show of brushing wrinkles from his clothes and moved over towards where Ciel sat. The boy's hands were taken in Sebastian's own and he lifted Ciel to his feet.

Ciel glanced up and smiled again before shyly squeezing Sebastian's hands. They were warm and soft, and Ciel's own hands fit perfectly. A slight blush dusted his cheeks as he murmured quietly, "Will you kiss me first, please?"

Without preamble, Sebastian swooped down to lay a sugar sweet kiss to Ciel's parted lips. It was simple and innocent, over sooner than either of them would have liked. "I'll give you five kisses to trump that one if we hurry back," Sebastian promised as he pulled away and led Ciel and the dog to the door.

Ciel had to fight hard to keep from blushing anymore. It wouldn't be good if someone were to notice the two of them exiting his office and Ciel looking embarrassed. He trailed along after Sebastian and Seb, attempting to keep his mind focused on where he was going. It was hard to do since he had the promise of more kisses from the doctor. He pretended to scratch his cheek so he could cover his smile with his hand.

The elevator ride was quiet, and Ciel found that he couldn't stand still. He kept shifting his weight, anxious to be in the garden and then back in the office as soon as possible. He sighed.

"You all right?" Sebastian asked. Ciel looked more antsy than normal, but there was also a sort of lightness to the boy. It prompted a smile and Sebastian placed his arm on Ciel's shoulder, the affectionate gesture hidden within the elevator.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Ciel squirmed at the contact, leaning into Sebastian a bit closer than normal. He bit his lip; he didn't want to say that he was eager to get back to the office because Sebastian would guess it was because of the promised kisses, so he remained silent after that.

The elevator opened and they drew apart as they moved into the public eye and off towards the hospital gardens. The sky was overcast, it seemed, as they breached the safety of indoors and moved into the weather of the open air. Sebastian led them to the same spot as last time and waited rather impatiently for the dog to finish his business.

It would be noon soon and they would have to begin some tests before Ciel could relax until his next dose of injections. But it was still early and Sebastian would use the free time to spend it with Ciel.

Seb was soon done and looked expectantly up at his master and Sebastian, tail wagging furiously. He shifted towards the doctor, searching for a pat on the head.

Sebastian cleared his throat and looked towards Ciel, not even trying to see the dog. "Are you ready to head back?"

Ciel nodded, perhaps a bit too vigorously when he heard Sebastian chuckle. A blush stained his cheeks again, and he ducked his head in embarrassment. "Let's go," he mumbled.

The trip back seemed all the longer since this time, they had been forced to share the elevator with a weasel faced old woman who constantly made an odd sound in the back of her throat, like the croaking of a frog. When the elevator doors opened, she shot them a look as if they had done something wrong and made her way in the opposite direction in which Sebastian and Ciel were headed. If Sebastian had to guess, he would say she was headed to the gynecologist offices, a job that he never envied Dr. Sutcliff for.

Ciel's heart rate picked up the closer they got to the office. He swallowed hard, telling himself that there was nothing to be nervous about. Still, he couldn't squelch the butterflies from flying around inside his stomach as Sebastian held the office door open for him and followed him in. He stood awkwardly for a moment before going to sit down on the couch.

"Have a seat; we still have an hour before your tests are scheduled. Until then we can relax." Sebastian sat in his rolling desk chair and scooted to be in front of Ciel like he had done in times past.

Ciel settled himself onto the couch and felt Seb nudge his leg before laying down beside his feet. He bit his lip, his fingers gripping the edge of the couch tightly. A small smile crossed his face as he thought about how ridiculous he must look, and the tension in his body eased slightly.

"Your eyes are so blue," Sebastian said after a moment of silent examination. "It's so easy to forget that you can't see. It's really a travesty that eyes too pretty can't see the sky they mirror." It was almost poetic and Sebastian could have slapped himself for the sappiness of his words. But he had never taken the time, no matter the many occasions in which he had examined the boy's eyes, to actually take note of just how unique they were. Ciel's eyes were the color of the blue sky peeking through the clouds after a spring rain.

Ciel blushed and tilted his head away from Sebastian's scrutiny. "Thank you," he mumbled. It seemed that no matter what the doctor did or said, Ciel always ended up becoming embarrassed. He was fairly sure that the blush would soon become a permanent fixture on his face.

"No need to be embarrassed." Sebastian paused, and then thought of something. "Would you like to guess the color of my eyes?"

Blinking, Ciel frowned thoughtfully. He hadn't given much thought to what the doctor looked like. It wasn't really that important. "Um, brown?" He guessed.

"No quite." Sebastian took hold of Ciel's hand, the skin so smooth and warm. He brought it tenderly up to his lips and kissed each digit. "Try again." There wasn't much of a chance that Ciel would be able to pick out the doctor's eye color. It wouldn't be a surprise to Sebastian if he was only one in a handful of people to have scarlet eyes, but to him it made them all the more unique.

Ciel's face scrunched up in concentration. "Hazel?"

Sebastian pulled Ciel forward and the boy toppled ungracefully into his lap. "Wrong again," he said with a kiss to Ciel's forehead.

"Green," Ciel guessed again as he tried to arrange himself better on Sebastian's lap. He wiggled around until he was comfortable sitting sideways, his head resting against the doctor's shoulder.

A kiss was given to Ciel's cheek and Sebastian whispered, "Wrong again." The older man was finding this highly enjoyable, and he wondered just what he might give the boy if Ciel answered correctly.

"What about gray?" Ciel questioned. He had to be close to getting it right. There were only so many eye colors in the world.

"Going in the right direction, but wrong." At least now Ciel was thinking outside of the normal blue and brown color scheme. This time Sebastian laid a kiss to the tip of Ciel's blushing nose.

Ciel frowned. "Do you have colored contacts and you're trying to trick me?"

"Not at all. My eye are one hundred percent natural," Sebastian reassured. Once, long ago, Sebastian had sported a pair of grey-blue contacts when he had been meanly teased for the color of his eyes. It had been one of those foul experiences from middle school, and something Sebastian had long since forgotten.

"Black," Ciel sounded sure of himself this time as he awaited Sebastian's reply.

This time Sebastian laughed and shook his head, upsetting Ciel in the process. "No, no. That would be quite terrifying, don't you think? Someone with pure black eyes."

An irritated huff left Ciel's lips, and an annoyed look stole into his sightless eyes. "Then what color eyes do you have? Purple? Yellow? Orange? Pink? Red?"

"Perhaps you just have to wait and see. We'll make it a surprise, and give you something to look forward to once your eyesight is back." There was a humorous lilt to Sebastian voice; how close Ciel had come to guessing correctly, but it didn't count when the boy was just running off colors like he had. But, as a form of accomplishment for at least voicing the right color, Sebastian swooped down and laid a lingering kiss upon Ciel's moist lips.

Ciel had been about to roll his eyes and voice his irritation when Sebastian kissed him, and he immediately shut up. This was much better than nagging the doctor to find out his eye color. His eyes closed, and his hand came up to curl into the older male's shirt as their lips molded together.

A kiss meant to be short and sweet turned into so much more. Ciel didn't seem ready to let go just yet and Sebastian had no inclination to do just that. He pressed harder into the kiss, hands going to situate Ciel so that the boy could straddle his waist and deepen the kiss.

"Ciel," Sebastian breathed between kisses, mouth opening to pull in Ciel's tongue. He sucked on the warm, wet muscle as the boy's sudden moan vibrated against the older man's lips.

Ciel's hands trailed up Sebastian's chest to tangle in his hair, and he ran his fingers through the silky strands. A shiver coursed through his body as their tongues slid against each other. He moaned once more, unintentionally grinding down on Sebastian's lap.

The grip Sebastian had on Ciel tightened as the boy moved in less than innocent ways. Sebastian had no doubt that Ciel was unaware of just what he had done, and he tried to force his body to calm and not give into the heat that was spreading in his loins.

Another wiggle and the doctor was gasping and pushing down on Ciel's hips without realizing it. The pressure was fogging over his logical mind and he kissed back with fervor, mumbling a groaned "Ciel" as the boy continued his arousing movements.

Ciel was pleased when the doctor said his name, and he pulled back slightly from the kiss to nip lightly at his lips. He shifted in an attempt to find a more comfortable position, his tongue plunging back inside Sebastian's mouth as his hands rested on his chest.

"You need to stop that," Sebastian breathed, nails digging into Ciel. The doctor's own hips shifted up just slightly before he could stop them and he gasped as his semi-erect cock found some momentary relief.

Ciel's eyes widened, and for a brief instant, a hint of fear was present before it disappeared. His body trembled somewhat, and his fingers clutched Sebastian's shirt just a bit tighter as he realized what his actions were causing. "Sorry," he whispered against the older male's mouth.

Sebastian pulled away and pressed a small kiss to Ciel's cheek. "Don't be sorry. It felt good," he tried to console. There was no point to scare Ciel away at this point, or to discourage such actions. Had they been anywhere else, Sebastian would have never uttered a complaint. Even now he was tempted to throw caution to the wind, his body wanting to have that lovely friction once more.

Ciel nodded slowly, biting his lip before cautiously leaning over and capturing Sebastian's lips again. Despite Sebastian having said that it felt good, Ciel wasn't about to repeat the action; it was becoming too uncomfortable for him, especially since he knew what could happen if Sebastian became too aroused. That thought had him gasping into the kiss, but the doctor didn't seem to notice it, perhaps thinking it was a response to the kiss.

"Your kissing has improved," Sebastian commented offhandedly. It wasn't as if Ciel had even been bad at kissing, but now it was obvious that the boy had become used to the action and was confident. No longer did Sebastian have to fully lead, Ciel now took the initiative. It was something that Sebastian loved.

The blue-eyed boy blushed. "Thank you. Your kissing is good, too. I mean, I don't have anything to compare it to since you were my first kiss, but... I think I'll just stop talking now," Ciel mumbled, covering his red face with his hand.

Ciel's hands were pushed away, so that Sebastian could see the clear blue of the boy's eyes. "You're so cute when you get embarrassed." Another kiss was placed on Ciel's nose and Sebastian couldn't resist planting a second on a nearby cheek. His hands had since left Ciel's waist to press at a slender back, pushing the boy's small frame more firmly against the doctor's chest.

Ciel eagerly wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and nestled his head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his intoxicating scent. The tip of his tongue flicked out to taste the skin, and he felt the doctor give a small shudder in response.

"Please," Sebastian said, voice husky in lust. "Keep doing that." His large hands tangled in Ciel's hair and pushed the boy's face flush against his heated skin.

Ciel obeyed, continuing to lick the doctor's neck before slowly working his way up to his ear. He tugged gently at the earlobe with his teeth, then trailed slowly back down the pale column, where he began to suck on the flesh. All the while, he was mindful of the little noises that Sebastian was making, and he tried to please the man by doing what he seemed to like best.

Once more, things seemed to escalate as Ciel worked at pleasuring Sebastian in one of his most arousing areas. Already the older man could feel himself hardening to the point that would prove troublesome. His hips shook as he tried to keep them still, the boy on his lap only making it harder. Sebastian moaned and dug his fingers into Ciel's shoulders, not sure if he wanted to push the boy away or twist the two of them around so that Ciel was pressed into the chair with Sebastian hovering over him.

Ciel pulled back slightly, but soon reconnected their lips, his hands sliding through Sebastian's hair again. He licked Sebastian's lips, trying to coax his tongue out to play. His body shifted of its own accord, and Ciel found himself momentarily frozen as he waited to see what the doctor would do.

Tongues met without preamble and Ciel was kissed with all the enthusiasm that Sebastian could muster. It was frustrating that lines had to be drawn and all of Sebastian's pent up sexual frustrations could not be released on the boy. He constantly had to keep his mind in check as his throbbing cock begged and pleaded with him to show it some affection and relief. The temptation to touch himself was a great one since he could not ask Ciel for such actions, and he forced his irritation into the kiss.

Ciel moaned into the kiss. He had never felt like this before, and he had to admit that it was an enjoyable feeling. He still couldn't help but be apprehensive, even though Sebastian was doing a wonderful job of making sure that he didn't spook the boy. Ciel's fingers laced through Sebastian's hair, and he angled the man's head to kiss him better.

Sebastian pulled away then, and looked into the boy's glazed eyes. His breathing was harsh and the doctor fought to control it. "We should-" but whatever they should do was never voiced as a knock sounded on the office door making both males stiffen.

Ciel quickly scrambled backwards off Sebastian's lap, but his legs became tangled with the doctor's. He yelped as he fell to the floor in an undignified heap, almost bringing Sebastian down with him.

The door opened and Mey-rin poked her head in. She said nothing for a moment as Sebastian helped Ciel back up onto the couch in front of him like nothing had happened. "They're ready in radiology for Mr. Phantomhive," she said quickly. "I'll wait for you in the waiting room." Mey-rin disappeared to leave them alone.

"Looks like this puts our fun to an end." Sebastian tried to joke the whole thing off, but it had disturbed him. They had just been shown how easily it would be for them to get caught in all of this. Had Sebastian not decided at that moment to pull away, then Mey-rin could have very well walked in on them in a less than appropriate situation.

Ciel nodded. The close encounter, plus the kissing, had left him with adrenaline surging through his veins. His hands were shaking a bit, and he tried to hide it by shoving his hands in his pockets. "That was close," he breathed quietly.

"It was," Sebastian said and kept it at that. They didn't have time to wonder on it. He stood and took Ciel's hand so that he could do the same.

Almost as soon as Ciel stood, Sebastian let go of his hand so that he could hold onto the harness, and Ciel followed Sebastian out of the room. They met up with Mey-rin in the waiting room and the three of them set off towards the radiology section of the hospital together. Ciel stayed quiet, not comfortable enough around the nurse to talk. Instead, he busied himself with counting the number of steps it took to reach their destination.

The quick glances Mey-rin kept giving Sebastian and Ciel did not settle well with the man. She had always been a nervous woman, and it was easy to tell when something was bothering her. Knowing Mey-rin, it could have been as simple as misfiling a document, but still Sebastian was on edge. If the nurse suspected anything at all, then she could take it to the hospital board and have Sebastian's license revoked.

Ciel was oblivious to any tension in the air. He had just reached step number fifty-eight when everyone in front of him halted. The blue-eyed boy wasn't ready for such a quick stop and he bumped into Seb and stumbled. The dog let out a yip and jumped forward, startled. Ciel felt gravity take affect as he plummeted towards the floor.

Sebastian was there to catch him, but the contact was brief. As soon as the boy was once again steady on his feet, the doctor let go as if nothing had happened. He brushed his hands on his pants and opened the door in front of him. Some technicians walked past and one came to great them and led them to a room where another MRI would be conducted to measure the progress of the treatment. This time around they would be using contrast dye, which unfortunately for Ciel meant another injection.

They were led into a room where the technician set up to begin the process. Sebastian took Ciel by the shoulder and sat him on the examination table. "You're going to have to get a shot. It'll be simple and not in your eye. You'll get it here." The doctor tapped the underside of Ciel's left arm. "It's just contrast dye that'll show up in the MRI, and I can do it for you if you'll trust me."

Ciel yanked his arm away, holding it protectively to his chest. "N-no. Not my arms." He backed away from Sebastian a few steps, a look of almost horror in his eyes. He was trembling, and he began to feel like he couldn't breathe.

"_This won't hurt a bit, don't worry." A gruff voice spoke._

_He looked down, wondering what the man was going to do, when a needle pierced the skin of his arm. He cried out and tried to pull his arm away. Within seconds, his body felt like lead and he stopped __struggling. He was aware of what was going on around him, but he was powerless to stop it. Even as the hands touched him and vile things were done to him, all he could do was just lay there, tears dripping onto the stone floor._

Ciel crumpled into a ball on the floor, his breathing ragged. He clutched his arms tightly, as if daring anyone to try to get a needle anywhere near them. He squeezed his eyes shut to escape the torment, but nothing helped.

For a moment Sebastian didn't know what to do. Two eyes weighed heavily on him, but seeing Ciel in such a state tore at him. Sighing, he knelt down and calmly patted the boy's head. "I won't give it to you in the arm then. It might sting, but I can try giving it to you in the neck," he tried to reason.

"I'd rather not have any injections at all," Ciel choked out. He was still shaking, but Sebastian's presence comforted him, and he managed to draw a ragged breath. "But if it's you, then okay. You can give it to me..."

"Do you want laughing gas, or do you trust me to give it to you without it?" Sebastian hoped that Ciel could stand getting the injection just once without the gas. He wasn't sure what the boy might say while intoxicated with the drug.

"Without, please," Ciel whispered. He wasn't sure if that was a good idea, but at the moment he didn't care. He was already panicking, so whether he had the laughing gas or not wouldn't make a difference. "Just do it fast."

Sebastian nodded, and reached for the cotton ball of antiseptic that he was handed by Mey-rin. He cleaned an area of Ciel's neck and leaned down just a bit to whisper "It'll be alright," into Ciel's ear. Next, Mey-rin handed over the syringe and Sebastian popped off the top. Ciel stiffened at the sound and Sebastian tried to calm him with words that went unheard to the others in the room.

"On three. One, two... Three." The needle was pressed in with a hasty gentleness and pulled out as soon as the dye had been injected. Everything happened in the blink of an eye. "All done."

Ciel sagged with relief against the doctor. It hadn't been as bad as he'd thought it would be, but he would be extremely grateful when he no longer had to have the shots. He gave Sebastian a weak smile. "Thanks."

Sebastian said nothing and stood. Mey-rin was the one to help Ciel up and back onto his chair. They would wait a few minutes for the dye to move through the boy's body and then they could proceed to the MRI. This time Sebastian would not be accompanying Ciel. The technician would take him and the images would be sent to Sebastian's office later that day. He would be worried, there was no doubt that he would be, about Ciel as he waited in the room alone with Mey-rin, but he knew that the boy could be brave when needed.

When the technician came for Ciel, the boy looked to be on the verge of a breakdown, and his fists were clenched tightly, his knuckles turning white. He wanted to call out to Sebastian for some words of comfort, but he held his tongue. People couldn't know the depth of their relationship.

He allowed the technician to take him into the MRI and settled in for the short wait. He consoled himself by thinking of Sebastian and hoping that they would be able to go back to the doctor's office after this.

The pictures were taken, and Ciel impatiently waited to be led back into the room where Sebastian was waiting. As soon as he was back with the others, the anxiety he had began to lift, especially when Seb trotted over and licked his hand.

"How was it?" Sebastian asked, coming over to check to make sure Ciel wasn't in some form of distress. Mey-rin seemed slightly concerned as well. They both agreed that it would be best to head back to their office and perhaps get some rest before Ciel needed his treatment for the night. Fortunately, that wouldn't be for a few more hours.

"It was okay," Ciel said distantly. He was exhausted, mentally and physically. The panic attack could have been a whole lot worse, he supposed, so at least he could be grateful for that. But all he wanted to do at the moment was relax in the office and maybe catch some sleep. Seb nudged his master's leg and whined, apparently sensing the turmoil inside of him. Ciel rubbed the dog's ear to soothe him. "Good boy, Seb."

Sebastian pulled Ciel along by the boy's elbow and Mey-rin followed without comment. As soon as they had left radiology, the boy was released to walk on his own. "You can rest in your room once we get back. Mey-rin or myself will come get you when it's time for dinner." Nothing more was said for the entire walk back.

Upon returning to his room, Ciel collapsed onto the bed and tucked himself into a ball. His eyes were already half-closed by the time his head hit the pillow, and in the space of a few seconds, he was asleep. Seb laid down by the bed, resting his head on his paws. His ears were up, as though he were listening for anyone who might want to harm the boy.

* * *

><p>Sebastian moved into his office, not bothering to close the door behind him. In a huff he fell back into his chair feeling utterly exhausted. There was still a mound of paper work in front of him and he didn't feel like doing any of it. He sighed then and reclined back, eyes rolling up to look in front of him. Eyebrows furrowed as he looked in slight surprise at Mey-rin who stood by the now closed door.<p>

"What is it?" He asked and looked back to his desk in a bored manner.

Mey-rin hesitantly approached the desk and cleared her throat. "I'm worried about something, that's all." She shuffled her feet nervously. "...I know about you and Mr. Phantomhive..."

Sebastian paused, face growing pale and his heart racing right out of his chest. He swallowed and looked up at the woman, staring straight into her eyes. "What do you mean?"

For a few pregnant seconds she said nothing. Mey-rin looked just as scared as Sebastian to say her next few words. "I've seen you two together. This morning, when you two were in bed I went to wake Mr. Phantomhive, but you were..." She trailed off for a moment and swallowed, looking suddenly determined. "What is going on between you and Mr. Phantomhive?"


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry for a later update than normal! Akiru Chan and I have both been busy this week, but here is the next chapter for your enjoyment! Read and review, flame if you must.

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the other Kuroshitsuji characters.

* * *

><p>Mey-rin watched as Sebastian's expression changed from apprehensive to alarmed. She didn't blame him for being nervous; she could march right out of this office and head straight to the head office to report him. Why she hadn't done that yet baffled her, but she thought that perhaps she wanted to hear what he himself had to say about the matter.<p>

There was no reason for Sebastian to play dumb or even lie his way out of this. From the look on Mey-rin's face, it was obvious the nurse knew the answer to her own question. "What are you going to do about it?" Sebastian found himself asking, wanting the final verdict out in the open.

"I'm not going to report you," Mey-rin said softly. "But I just want to make sure that you know what you're getting yourself into. You're playing with fire, and I don't want to see you get burned." Her eyes were worried as she looked at him.

Things seemed just a bit lighter then. Sebastian sighed and rubbed at his temples. "You don't need to remind me of that. I don't even know what I was thinking, or how all of this even happened." He eyed Mey-rin for a moment, and just shook his head. How did he get himself into this?

Mey-rin nodded slowly. She liked Sebastian; he was a wonderful doctor, and she would hate to see his license be revoked. He could do so much good for other people in enabling them to see once more. She shifted and said, "Well, I best be getting back to work if you don't have anything else to say."

"Mey-rin," Sebastian called as the woman made her way back to the door. "Why are you doing this? If anyone finds out that you knew this was going on and said nothing, then you'll risk your own job."

"Because you're happy, Mr. Michaelis. I can see it, whenever you're in the same room with him or talking about him. I've never seen you like this, and I don't want to be the one to take it away from you," Mey-rin smiled then quickly backed out of the room, firmly shutting the door behind her.

Sebastian blinked for a moment, surprised by the nurses words. After a moment, he found it in himself to smile and whisper a quiet "thank you" to the empty room around him.

* * *

><p>Ciel woke with a start, bolting upright in bed. Gasping heavily, he tried to remember where he was. The room smelled of antiseptic, the surface beneath him was soft, and he could hear the buzzing of activity outside the room. He relaxed then; he was still at the hospital.<p>

Yawning, he stretched his arms above his head. He wondered how long he had slept for, figuring that it couldn't have been more than an hour or so. Nevertheless, he felt rested and refreshed, ready to face whatever may transpire next. His face paled as he recalled that he still had the injections to go through for that day, and he groaned, holding his head in his hands. He was not looking forward to that.

A knock sounded at the door, loud in the quiet room. Seb's ears perked and he gave a small bark of acknowledgement. He was looking to Ciel, waiting for the boy to either ask for the dog's assistance to go to the door or for the boy to allow the newcomer entrance on their own.

"Who is it?" Ciel called out, even though he knew that if it was someone coming to hurt him, they wouldn't answer anyway.

"It's me!" Mey-rin pushed the door open and smiled at the boy on the bed. Ciel's hair was rumpled and messed from sleep, and he still looked slightly groggy. "It's almost time for your injections. Sebastian just wanted me to check to see if you were awake and ready. He'll come to get you in about ten minutes." For the first time Mey-rin took the chance to look Ciel over. This was the boy who had caught Sebastian's eye and she couldn't help but wonder just what was special about the boy. Ciel was handsome, a little young looking for his age but that would be a blessing as he got older.

"Oh, okay. Thank you," Ciel replied. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head to clear the fog from his mind. When he heard the door shut, he went over to his bag, grabbed a comb, and quickly pulled it through his hair. He knew that he must look awful, since he had fallen asleep in his clothing. He tried to straighten his clothes as best as he could before the doctor arrived. He paused, wondering why it was so important to him to look his best whenever Sebastian saw him. Sebastian had already seen him when he had just woken up, so he didn't see what the difference was.

The next few minutes passed by quickly and soon enough Sebastian was peeking through the door and smiling as he watched Ciel put on his shoes. "Almost ready?" he asked and stifled a laugh when the boy jumped.

Ciel yelped. "S-Sebastian?" His eyes were wide as he stared in the direction of the door. "Please don't sneak up on me like that again. I almost had a heart attack." Indeed, his heart was pounding furiously, and his breaths were shallow as he tried to calm down from the fright.

"But where is the fun in that." The doctor gave a light chuckle and moved towards the boy. He reached out and pulled Ciel to his feet, but was sure to keep the distance between them. If he had learned anything today, it was that they could never be too careful. Sebastian had gotten lucky that Mey-rin had been the one to see them, although he was still berating himself for allowing his guard to drop to such an extent. Things couldn't keep going on the way they had been.

Ciel noticed the space and was puzzled. They were alone in the room, so why was Sebastian so far away? Why did he not pull him close as he had done in the times before? Was he beginning to regret his relationship with Ciel? Perhaps the truth written inside Ciel's file had finally taken hold of Sebastian and he had realized what exactly Ciel had gone through during the Incident. No matter the reason, it hurt Ciel and he pulled his arm away from the doctor's grasp as he took a step back, an uncertain look flooding across his face.

Sebastian seemed puzzled as well and he reached out to grab at the boy's shoulder. "Are you okay?" Scarlet eyes intently searched for anything that might give a clue as to what was bothering his patient.

"I'm fine," Ciel said, carefully averting his gaze from Sebastian's. He wasn't that good at keeping his emotions from showing on his face, and he didn't want Sebastian to be able to guess at what was wrong.

"Are you sure? You can tell me." There was something off, but Sebastian had little right to pry if Ciel did not want to speak. For now he would have to put the worry behind him and hope that whatever was bother Ciel would fade as time went by.

"You read it, didn't you?" Ciel asked softly, finally looking at Sebastian. His expression was a mixture of hurt and sadness, and he willed himself not to break down and cry.

Confusion crossed Sebastian's face and he dropped his hand from Ciel. He hadn't quite expected to be asked something as simple nor as cryptic as that. "Read what?" It was the only thing Sebastian could inquire.

"My file. You read it all, I'm sure. Why else would you be pulling away from me? I'm not even sure why you went along with our relationship anyway. Do you feel sorry for me?" Ciel questioned, a tormented tone in his voice.

"Your file? What does that have to do with anything? Ciel, I don't know what you're talking about," Sebastian explained quickly. Anxiety was quickly taking hold and he frowned as he thought over what the boy could be so worried about. "I just read over your medical history pertinent to your treatment. I don't know why that would make you so upset."

"Because it tells you what happened during the Incident. The ra-" Ciel caught himself just in time before he finished the word, snapping his mouth shut. His fists clenched and hot tears pricked his eyes.

Silence filled the room and Sebastian let go of Ciel and stood back calmly. "I never read that part of your file. It's not any of my business what happened to you in the past, not when it doesn't involve your treatment." Whatever could have happened to Ciel that would cause the boy so much stress and worry over the mere reading of his file? Suddenly Sebastian wasn't so eager to find out.

"Y-you didn't?" Ciel's voice wavered. He looked hopeful, and he suddenly lurched forward, grabbing onto Sebastian's shirt desperately. "Please, don't read it! I-I don't want you to read it. I know you're probably curious, but I swear, I will tell you someday. Just...not today..." He buried his face in the older man's chest. "But please, don't read it..."

Considering the circumstances, Sebastian didn't mind showing Ciel affection. Mey-rin would be the only one walking in and Ciel needed some form of comfort. He enveloped the boy into a warm hug and whispered into his ear. "I won't read it. I promise you I won't."

"Thank you..." Ciel clung to Sebastian, unwilling to release him. He tried to control his shuddering breaths, fearing another panic attack. A small tear slipped from the corner of his eye; whether it was from relief or something else, he didn't know.

Sebastian leaned down and placed a quick kiss to Ciel's head. A few more minutes passed and they finally pulled away. "We need to go," he said is a calm and soothing voice.

Ciel grumbled and pushed away from Sebastian rather reluctantly. After ordering Seb to stay, he took hold of Sebastian's sleeve and allowed the man to lead him from the room and down the hallway. "Do I have to have the injections tomorrow, too?"

"No." Sebastian shook his head. "Just Fridays and Saturdays. Tomorrow your mother can pick you up at noon." The examination room was open and from the look of things, Mey-rin had already set up all the needed supplies. The syringes were in place and the laughing gas set up and ready.

"So I won't have to come back on Mondays, either?" Ciel sounded disappointed. It would be nice to be able to see Sebastian four days a week.

The doctor shook his head. "Only the weekends now." Sebastian wasn't too fond of the thought, but it would be for the best. During the weekends, there were fewer second parties coming in and fewer people they needed to worry about hiding from.

Ciel exhaled softly. "Okay." He didn't look pleased, and his lips formed into a small pout. He wouldn't complain, though; after all, he would be with Sebastian Friday through Sunday from now on, and that was better than just seeing him on Mondays. He easily slid onto the table, but when Sebastian began to place the mask over his face, Ciel held up a hand. "Wait. Can I try it again without the gas? I did it before, so I'm pretty sure that I can do it again."

Sebastian paused, eyes wide with shock. "Are you sure?" he asked just as the gas mask was picked up from the table.

"Yeah, I'm sure. If I freak out, then we'll know next time not to skip the laughing gas." Ciel paused. "Sebastian, I just want to see if I'm strong enough to make it without any help. I've had to face a lot of my fears during my time here, and that should help me be able to deal with them better. I don't want to be Faust all the time, running and hiding."

"You're not Faust." The gas mask was put down and Sebastian went to fetch the numbing eye drops and syringes. Putting the eye drops in was something that Ciel had done several times before and the boy no longer flinched as Sebastian administered them. But as the minutes ticked by, the tension rose and even Sebastian was becoming nervous.

"Are you sure?" he asked again as the first needle was uncapped. "This will sting just a bit."

Ciel nodded, a determined glint in his eyes. "I'm sure." His body reflexively stiffened at the thought of a needle being inserted into his eye; normally, he would be high on the gas by now and unaware of what was happening to him. But now, his senses were on high alert, and it took everything he had not to react.

Without further adieu, Sebastian moved forward and placed in a specialized tool to hold the boy's eyes open wide. He brought the needle up and with baited breath he pushed into the white of Ciel's eyes. The boy went stiff around him and Sebastian rushed to inject the fluid and pull the needle out before anything unfortunate could happen. The last thing Ciel needed was damage down to the actual eye. Sebastian wouldn't be able to reverse that.

Ciel hardly breathed as Sebastian pushed the needles into his eyes. Even when the older man announced that it was done, he remained unresponsive. His sightless eyes stared blankly at the ceiling, and he felt like he was hearing from underwater. Sebastian's voice was distorted, and he could just barely pick out a sense of urgency in the tone. His fingers twitched, but that was the only movement he made.

"Ciel!" Sebastian kept repeating. The boy looked lost and it slightly worried the older man. "Ciel, can you hear me? Ciel?" He reached out for the boy, cupping his face and rubbing calming circles on his jaw.

Ciel struggled to focus on the voice. His lips opened, though no sound came out. He slid his hand to the side, searching for Sebastian. He found the material of Sebastian's shirt, and his fingers gripped it tightly.

The only thing Sebastian could do was hold the boy tight. He was so proud that Ciel had braved his way through the injections and had allowed Sebastian to administer them without problem. It must have been a mental struggle and now Ciel was facing the brunt of it. Sebastian could only be there for him and coo encouraging words and help the boy to come back to the real world in one piece.

Slowly, the death grip that Ciel had on Sebastian began to release, and his eyes became clear and focused, though he still looked a tad disoriented. "Sebastian?" The boy rasped as he blinked owlishly.

Sebastian just smiled. "You did it," he said and leaned forward to kiss Ciel on the forehead.

Ciel's eyes widened, and a smile bloomed across his face. "I did it," he repeated in amazement. Impulsively, he leaned up and gave Sebastian a kiss.

"You did it!" The kiss was returned without much thought and Ciel was wrapped tight in the doctor's arms once more. There was a joyous fervor to the kiss and when they parted, Sebastian only wanted more.

Ciel couldn't stop smiling; he was sure he looked ridiculous with a huge grin on his face, but he couldn't help it. He was relieved that he'd made it through. He placed a gentle kiss on Sebastian's cheek. "Thank you."

"I think this deserves a treat." There wasn't much that Sebastian could do, but he supposed he could take advantage of Mey-rin being privy to the growing relationship between patient and doctor. Ciel most certainly did not deserve more hospital food and a tasty sweet would no doubt make the boy happy. "How about I take you out to eat?" Sebastian said as he pulled away from Ciel and gave the both of them some room.

Ciel turned huge eyes to Sebastian. "Are you allowed to do that?" He questioned. He knew there wasn't supposed to be any kind of personal relationship between a doctor and patient. If Sebastian were to take him out to eat and he was discovered, that could very well mean the end of his career. That thought sent a throb of panic through Ciel. He didn't want Sebastian to be fired.

Sebastian waved the concern aside. "We'll go out a side entrance. It's a Saturday afternoon anyways; most doctors in this building have left for home." It was a risk, but Ciel deserved a reward and something to promote the courage he had shown. If they did run into some trouble, then Sebastian would be more than happy to twist the truth. He wouldn't lie since lying was distasteful, but telling selected truths was another thing all together.

Ciel looked doubtful, but agreed nonetheless. He was eager to get out of the hospital, even if it would be only for an hour or two. He hopped off the table. "Should I take Seb or leave him here?"

"If you don't mind, it would be better to leave him. A dog will only draw attention to ourselves." Not to mention Sebastian wasn't fond of the animal, but Ciel didn't need to know that. Without the animal tagging along, they would be able to move faster and not have to worry about people wanting to stare.

Frowning, Ciel spoke, "Okay. But we won't be gone real long, will we? I usually don't go out in public very often anymore."

"You'll be fine, I'll be with you and no one is going to bother us." Sebastian ushered the boy out the door, not allowing him to double back and try to go back to his room. It wasn't as if Sebastian couldn't do what the dog did, and even more on top of that.

Ciel nervously allowed Sebastian to lead him, his hand gripping Sebastian's arm tightly. The further they went down the hallway, the slower his steps became. He wasn't looking forward to being out in the public eye since he disliked being around people he didn't know. By the time they reached the elevator, Ciel's face was pale and his breathing was shallow, a typical sign of a panic attack about to happen.

The moment the elevator doors shut behind them, Sebastian was drawing Ciel into his arms quickly. They only had a few minutes to themselves and he had to make this quick. "You'll be fine. I won't allow you out of my reach, I promise. No one will hurt you."

"But if they could get me at home with all the security, then they can definitely get me anywhere else," The words came out faster towards the end, and there were touches of panic and hysteria present in his tone. He clung desperately to Sebastian as if trying to draw strength from him.

"Well, they have yet to face the mighty Sebastian Michealis," the doctor said with a proud guffaw. "They'll be making a big mistake trying to pick a fight with me, let alone taking something that belongs to me." Sebastian pulled Ciel tighter against him and ruffled the boy's hair.

A blush dusted Ciel's cheeks at Sebastian's statement, and he lowered his head to prevent Sebastian from noticing. A warm feeling spread throughout his body. "I belong to you?" He asked shyly.

There was a moment in which Sebastian thought, making sure his words were pleasant before he spoke. "You are mine to protect," he said simply. "Does that displease you?"

Ciel shook his head. "No, it doesn't. It actually makes me feel good, that there's someone other than my parents who care about me."

The elevator dinged and Sebastian was forced to pull the boy away. "You'll be fine," he said once more, trying to promise things that might just be out of his capabilities. A thousand things could happen that Sebastian would not be able to save Ciel from. But thus was life, and no one could escape all of life's evils.

The elevator doors opened, and Ciel almost got swamped by a group of visitors trying to crowd onto the elevator. He managed to keep his grip on Sebastian's sleeve; otherwise, he would have been lost. He nearly tripped in his attempt to hurry away from the strangers but managed to right himself just before he would have fallen. His hands were shaking and he hoped that Sebastian wouldn't notice how nervous he still was.

"Inconsiderate flock of loons," Sebastian grumbled and brushed out his own shirt and straightened his tie. He had forgotten it was a Saturday and the busiest day when it came to visitors to the main hospital. They often parked in the side building's parking lot where it was less crowded and cut through Sebastian's building to get to the hospital itself.

Ciel's mouth was dry, and he licked his lips to wet them. His stomach growled, and he was reminded of how hungry he was. "Where are we going to eat?"

"What sort of food are you hungry for?" They were lucky that there was an array of different cafes in the area. It would give Ciel the chance to pick just what he felt like eating and hopefully lighten the boy's mood in the process.

"Pizza," Ciel stated. He'd been hungry for that for a few days now, and since he hadn't gotten it yesterday, he was determined to have it today.

A quirk of a smile settled on Sebastian's face and he rolled his eyes, not that the boy could see. "It's always pizza with you. Do your parents not feed you enough of it?" He found himself asking, not knowing any other reason for Ciel's pizza cravings.

"They say it's not healthy," Ciel muttered with a scowl. "Mom is paranoid about me getting enough nutrients and everything else I need to stay healthy. I usually only get it on my birthday or days where I just don't feel that great."

Giving in, Sebastian nodded. "Then I suppose since today is special, pizza is in order." If the doctor could help it, he'd at least make sure that one of the toppings was nutritious at least.

"Extra cheese? And pepperoni?" Ciel asked hopefully, biting his lip as he awaited the reply.

"With mushrooms or green peppers," Sebastian said, a stern look in his eye. "You need to get something healthy in you besides the tomato sauce." It was the doctor in him speaking, and being such to Ciel he needed to make sure that the boy kept his body healthy and fit.

Ciel was tempted to argue further, but he was afraid that Sebastian would then pick something healthy for him, so he grudgingly agreed, sighing. "I'll have mushrooms, then."

Seeming pleased, Sebastian nodded and moved them out the side doors of the hospital building and into the heat of the day. The sun was out but there were a few clouds in the sky to provide some shade. He turned them sharply to the right and found his car. Normally he would walk, but Sebastian figured that Ciel would appreciate a short trip. It didn't help that the only pizza place was quite a distance down the road.

Ciel was nervous, waiting for someone to recognize the two of them. He knew that Sebastian was definitely breaking some rules with this, and he didn't want the doctor to get into trouble. He breathed a sigh of relief upon reaching the car and sliding into the front passenger seat. Sebastian soon entered the car, as well, and within a minute, they were headed out of the parking lot.

"Do you eat out a lot?" Ciel asked, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

"For lunch I do. When I'm at home I'll cook if I have the time." It wasn't often that he got home at a decent enough hour to make himself dinner, not as often as he'd like. Weekends ensured that he stayed in the office and never set foot in his home until Sunday night. Week days weren't much better but he did get to eat a home cooked meal at least every other day.

"Do you like to cook?" Carefully, Ciel rubbed his right eye. It was beginning to burn, but he didn't want to tell Sebastian because he knew the doctor would immediately rush him back to the hospital.

"I do, but it's not as fun when you're cooking for yourself. Although I do still need to make you creme brulee." If by some odd twist of fate, Sebastian had met Ciel through different circumstance then they could have been easily going to Sebastian's modest flat. There the doctor would enjoy nothing more than to make a first class meal for the boy. Such things were but dreams and he pushed such useless things from his mind.

"Yes, you do," Ciel agreed. "Then I can see how good of a cook you are." He frowned. "But wouldn't it look strange if you brought in creme brulee for me?"

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders as he pulled into the parking lot of the pizza parlor. "I'd just have to act nice and bring some in for everyone." He shuddered at the thought of his staff coming to expect such things from him. Last thing he needed was for them to have a reason to act even friendlier towards Sebastian.

"But I don't want you to have to do all that work, Sebastian. It's fine if you can't do it," Ciel assured him. "I'll live without creme brulee."

"So long as it's for you, I don't think I mind all that much." They parked and Sebastian undid his seat-belt. His gaze slid over Ciel's body for a moment, taking in the boy's appearance and seeming pleased at the relatively relaxed posture. "Ready?" Large hands reached over to undo Ciel's own seat-belt and they ended up settling on the boy's slim thighs.

Ciel jerked slightly at the pressure on his legs, not having expected it. A light pink dusted his cheeks, and even though he couldn't see, he shyly turned his head towards the doctor. "Yeah, I'm ready," he smiled.

The hand was gone and Sebastian was out of the car making his way towards Ciel's side. The door was opened and that same hand was once more upon the boy, this time the shoulder. "Do you mind holding my hand or would you prefer to just hold onto the hem of my shirt?" Sebastian didn't know which the boy would prefer so he offered two options for Ciel to choose from.

Ciel tilted his head, pondering which one would not be taken the wrong way. If he were to hold Sebastian's hand, people who could not tell at first glance that he was blind might assume that they were on a date. Sebastian was a well-known doctor, and Ciel himself was also known due to his father's company and his mother's charity work; Ciel was afraid that someone might recognize them and wonder why they were in public together, especially if it became public knowledge that Ciel was undergoing treatments under Sebastian's care. "Your shirt," he said finally.

"Shirt it is, then." Sebastian's hand trailed down Ciel's arm and grasped at his hand and brought it to his shirt. A pang of disappointment blossomed but the older man pushed it aside and ignored it. It wasn't something that needed attention or more thought.

Ciel loosely gripped the material, then cautiously pressed his hand closer into the man's side. He could feel Sebastian's body heat seeping through, and a smile tugged at his lips even though he tried in vain to keep it hidden, his thumb unconsciously rubbing small circles against Sebastian's hip.

The touch was welcomed and Sebastian found himself focusing solely on the boy as they moved into the loud and busy restaurant. It was then that Ciel pressed closer and Sebastian wrapped an arm around the boy as he pulled him to a table to sit.

Ciel felt like either hiding behind Sebastian or fleeing the pizza parlor entirely. His legs felt like rubber, and with each step he took, the dread grew and grew. The only thing that kept him going was Sebastian's hand on his arm.

Finally, they sat down, and Ciel sank onto the chair in relief. He could hear the other customers talking and laughing, and his sightless eyes kept darting from one spot to the next, as if hoping to foresee any danger that might arise.

"Ignore everyone," Sebastian's voice boomed through the chatter and mumbles. "It's just you and me, okay?"

Ciel took a deep breath and nodded. It was easier said than done to pretend that they were the only ones who existed, but he would try. It would make it easier on Sebastian, since if he ignored the other people he was less likely to have a panic attack. He didn't want to embarrass himself or Sebastian.

A waitress came and introduced herself, placing a menu in front of both of them. She then left to give them a few minutes to decide on what to order.

Ciel picked up his menu with an amused smile. "I don't think I need this."

"I don't think you do. Pepperoni, extra cheese, and mushrooms?" Sebastian asked as he recited what Ciel had said what he wanted back at the hospital. The only thing he wasn't sure of was the boy's beverage of choice.

"Yeah," Ciel murmured. "What do they have to drink?" It was frustrating to not be able to see for himself, but menus weren't written in braille. Maybe once he regained his eyesight, he and Sebastian could come back here to eat. A feeling of anticipation and thrill washed over him, and he had to bite down on his lower lip to prevent a smile from spreading. The thought that Sebastian would still be around then was a happy one, and a scenario that Ciel wouldn't mind.

His smile faltered briefly as he wondered if that would be possible. There were many things that could happen until then, and Ciel feared that Sebastian would distance himself upon learning the truth. But he didn't want to dwell on that now, so he tucked it away for later.

A moment was taken as Sebastian looked over the menu. "They have the usual. Tea, soda, water, and milkshakes." He eyed the different prices, but they didn't matter much in the long run. Whatever Ciel want, Ciel would get.

"I'll take a soda," Ciel decided quickly. Normally, he would get tea, but he didn't think that it would sit well with eating pizza.

"Well good for you, but that doesn't help me very much. What kind of soda would you like." The teasing tone was followed by a smirk and Sebastian leaned over the table to ruffle Ciel's dark hair. Ciel was far too fun to mess with and that pout just made Sebastian want to kiss those pink lips.

Ciel flushed at the contact and mumbled, "A Sprite, please." He wavered between wanting to lean into the touch and wanting to back away from it. He suddenly felt self-conscious, as if all the eyes in the room were focused on him. He swallowed hard.

When the waitress came back Sebastian order for the both of them and they were then once more left to themselves. "You're awfully quiet." Ciel hadn't said a word in a few long minutes and Sebastian wasn't in the mood to make this an awkwardly silent meal.

Ciel ducked his head. "Sorry. I just have this sense that everyone is staring at me, and it makes me uncomfortable." He looked up at the older man, an apologetic look on his face. "I'm sorry. It's really nice of you to take me out like this, and I repay you by acting like this."

"No need to apologize, but I do have to be honest with you," Sebastian said very seriously. "There is one person who is staring at you very intently."

Ciel's blue eyes flew open wide as panic bloomed. He forced himself not to move his head; perhaps whoever was staring at him would tire of doing so since he was not acknowledging him. "Who is it?" He questioned faintly.

Sebastian placed his hand over Ciel's and squeezed it lightly. "Me," he said quietly. "I'm quite embarrassed to admit that I just can't take my eyes off of you." The line was so very cliched and overly sickening when Sebastian replayed it in his mind, but it seemed to calm Ciel down and that was all that mattered. Whatever the case, it was very close to the truth. Sebastian was finding it a constant habit to allow his eyes to wander over to the younger male.

Ciel's eyes were now as huge as saucers, and a dark red blush stained his cheeks. He was uncertain what he should say, but he knew that the comment gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. "Um...Thank you?"

"You're very welcome." Just then their waitress returned with their drinks followed by a waiter with their pizza. Service was always fast here and a reason Sebastian continued to come here during lunch.

Ciel barely remembered his manners; he was starving, and the pizza smelled so delicious. As it was, he practically inhaled his slice, then sat there quietly waiting for Sebastian to finish.

Moments passed as both males ate their pizza in silence, enjoying the greasy and flavorful taste. Sebastian ate two pieces and left it at that, not wanting to put too much fat on his bones. He was getting on in age, and it wasn't so easy to stay slim when his schedule didn't allow for regular trips to the gym.

"Is it good?" The doctor asked when Ciel went for his fourth slice.

"Yes, it is. Thank you," Ciel mumbled around a mouthful of food, then blushed and swallowed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to talk with food in my mouth. But they do have good pizza here." He was about to say that he'd recommend it to his family but stopped because he realized that he wouldn't be able to tell them; Sebastian was the one who had introduced him to this place, and he couldn't tell his parents that.

Sebastian nodded his head. "We'll have to come back then." Only this couldn't be a weekly thing, only on special occasions. Sebastian was determined to get the boy weened off sweets and grease as much as he could. Some fruits and vegetables would do Ciel good. The clock on the wall was glanced at and Sebastian decided that they should hurry and wrap this up. They could take the pizza back with them. "Almost done?" he inquired, not trying to rush the boy.

"Yeah, I'm done." Ciel quickly finished chewing the last bite and flashed Sebastian a smile. "This was really nice. Thanks." He knew that he had said that word quite a bit in the past few days, but it seemed as though he was always needing to thank the man.

"No need to mention it. We needed to get out of that stuffy office anyways." Sebastian waved down their waitress for the bill and a to-go box. "When we get back we can just relax." It sounded wonderful and Sebastian idly wondered if the results from Ciel's MRI would be in his office yet.

"Relaxing sounds good about now," Ciel admitted. He was tired, despite his nap earlier in the day. The stay at the hospital really took its toll on him, and he felt like he could fall asleep again. But Sebastian had said "we can just relax," and that made Ciel wonder if he meant the two of them together could relax. "Do you have things to do when we get back?" Ciel ventured, holding his breath.

"A few things, but you're welcome in my office. It should just be me, you and Mey-rin tonight." Bard usually spent his Saturday nights in a bar or whatever that man did in his spare time. He had heard some wild tales from Finny, but Sebastian was hesitant to believe everything he heard. "We should just be more careful where we fall asleep this time around."

Ciel was beginning to believe that his face would always be red, especially around Sebastian. He still couldn't believe that he and Sebastian had slept on the same bed last night, and he offered him a tiny smile. "I guess so," is what he said, even though he desperately wanted to tell Sebastian that he wouldn't mind sleeping in his arms again.

The meal was paid for and Sebastian stood. He eyed Ciel for a moment, contemplating his next move. Deciding that nothing bad could come from the act, Sebastian reached down and took hold of Ciel's hand and laced their fingers. The boy was led from the restaurant like that and Sebastian couldn't help the smug smirk that stretched itself upon his face.

Ciel also had a smile on his face, only his had more of a pleased shyness to it. He was still nervous that someone might see them, but at the moment, he only cared about the warmth and strength of Sebastian's hand.

They parted quickly as they got into the car, but Sebastian sought out Ciel's hand once more, giving it an affectionate squeeze. The boy was warm and soft and everything Sebastian never knew he wanted, but in that moment one thing he knew for sure. He never wanted to let go of that hand again.


	9. Chapter 9

Once again, I am so sorry for a later update than normal! I had some friends stay the weekend with me, and I was unable to write until Monday morning. So now without further adieu, here is the next chapter for your enjoyment! Read and review, flame if you must.

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the other Kuroshitsuji characters.

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><p>Ciel laid curled up on the couch in Sebastian's office. His eyes were closed, but he wasn't sleeping. He was listening to papers shuffling on the desk and Sebastian's quiet breathing. His hand dangled leisurely off the side of the couch, swinging back and forth gently. He hadn't spoken a word since they'd come back to the office, since he didn't want to bother the doctor.<p>

Scarlet eyes slipped over to watch Ciel silently. The boy had come a long way, Sebastian mused. It had been three weeks since the boy's first attempt at receiving the injection without any help of the gas. Now, only minutes after receiving his treatment, Ciel seemed completely nonplussed about it all. It had been two weeks since Ciel had even had a panic attack, and it seemed as if things were beginning to become tolerable for Ciel.

The thought made Sebastian smile and he turned back to his work. It hadn't been all good news, unfortunately. There had been a stiffness in the air that seemed to bring a tension that did not settle well with the doctor. Affection between them had grown to just small kisses and less than frequent touches. Ciel seemed irritated more often than not, but it seemed for the best. Or so Sebastian thought at the time. Some distance was good, and would keep people from seeing the truth of their relationship. It just didn't seem like such a wonderful thing in the end.

Ciel brooded, his mood dark. He was frustrated, to put it simply. While he loved the relationship that he had with Sebastian, it just wasn't enough. The kisses and occasional touches had satisfied him at first, but now he was beginning to think of other things, and it scared the hell out of him.

He was thinking about sex quite a bit, and he realized now how little he actually knew about it. He knew some things, such as it hurt and it involved things being placed in a spot where nothing should be. When he'd been younger, he hadn't fully comprehended what exactly had happened to him during the Incident, but as he'd gotten older he'd come to terms with everything. But that didn't help his fear. And he was afraid; afraid of the pain, afraid of the demeaning nature of it, afraid of the power that the other person was able to wield over him.

Ciel whimpered and clutched his head with his hands. This was bringing back memories, and he'd been doing so well without any panic attacks that he didn't want to ruin it. He breathed in deeply, trying to calm himself down before Sebastian noticed something was amiss.

Unfortunately the distressed sound did not go unnoticed. The pen dropped to the table and Sebastian turned just an inch to watch the boy. "You okay?" He asked, but didn't show much concern. The boy looked fine enough, and it didn't leave Sebastian inclined to rush to Ciel's side.

"I'm fine," Ciel snapped, then instantly bit his lip. He lowered his lashes, looking almost apologetic even though he didn't speak the words. He just bit down harder and ran a hand over his face as he lapsed back into silence.

Apparently things weren't fine. Sebastian was no idiot; he could see the irritability written on Ciel's face. He bit back a comment about the boy PMSing, knowing that wouldn't help anything; it would only make himself a little less frustrated with the situation. The boy was young and Sebastian remembered how hormonal he had been at that age, especially with the world opening up with possibilities of a future that would be his to create. There could have been a number of things eating away at Ciel, and at the moment Sebastian didn't find an interest in them.

Ciel idly traced circles on the couch with his finger before huffing and sitting up. He was too restless to stay still for too long, but he didn't know what to do. He wondered if Sebastian was mad at him for the way he had spoken, but he was afraid to ask. Aside from his parents, Sebastian was the next person he saw quite a bit, and the thought that he'd possibly ruined their relationship with a harsh word made him cringe.

He was quiet for a moment longer before asking softly, "Sebastian? Will you please kiss me?"

There was a pause in the noise of a scribbling pen but it was quickly covered up with an awkward cough. The request was odd in itself, and Sebastian wasn't sure what to make of it. Usually such requests were made at suitable times, but now was not the most proper of times to be kissing. Especially considering there was another patient staying the night as well, although Sebastian doubted he'd be staying for long. Already the treatment had shown signs of failing.

"Maybe later," Sebastian said after a moment, not putting much thought in it.

Ciel deflated, his shoulders slumping. "Oh..." A few minutes ticked by before Ciel rose to his feet. He held a hand out, carefully shuffling forward until he reached the doctor's desk. He could tell from the hurried scrawling sounds that Sebastian was absorbed in his work, and he frowned. Sebastian had always made time for him before, and he didn't know why he was now being ignored. One thing he did know, and that was that he didn't like it.

With that thought in mind, Ciel bent over slightly and leaned down to kiss Sebastian. To his chagrin, he missed and ended up pressing his lips to the side of the older male's nose.

Sebastian froze, slightly surprised, and rolled his eyes over to look at Ciel. It was hard to resist turning his head and catching those lips in a real kiss but he resisted and simply regarded Ciel for a moment. "What are you doing?" He asked, although it was rather obvious, Sebastian thought.

Ciel faltered slightly, moving back a bit. "I'm kissing you. Is that a problem?" His words had bite to them, and he clenched his fists together, nails carving half-moons into his palms.

"Why are you kissing me?" Sebastian reiterated, finally wanting some answers to the boy's odd behavior.

"Because I wanted to," Ciel stated flatly, his brows knitting together. He was unsure of where Sebastian was going with this conversation, but he didn't like it. "You don't want to kiss me?"

This time Sebastian turned, hand on Ciel's hip to keep the boy in place. "I want to kiss you. It's just I don't understand what brought on your sudden want to kiss me after how you've been acting for the past few hours," Sebastian answered and looked deep within Ciel's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Ciel murmured, an almost pained expression on his face. "I just... There's a lot of things I need to work out right now." He rested his head against Sebastian's and stayed there, forehead pressed to forehead.

Sebastian deflated and he allowed himself to relax and hold the boy. "I'm sorry, too," he said and pulled away, leaving a kiss to Ciel's forehead.

Ciel stood there awkwardly, uncertain if he should stay where he was or go back to the couch. Tentatively reaching out, he touched Sebastian's cheek, his fingertips gently stroking the skin. "Can I steal you away from your work for a few minutes at least?"

A sigh left Sebastian's mouth and he turned towards his work. He had gotten enough done, and taking a break wouldn't hurt anything in the long was a small part of him that didn't want to admit that he just wanted to spend time with the boy, but he ignored it otherwise he might think he was growing even softer.

"An hour. You can have me for an hour," he said.

A relieved smile crossed Ciel's face. "Thank you," he said softly. His head dipped down to rest in the crook of Sebastian's neck, and his tongue flicked out to lick the skin there.

"No, you don't." Ciel was plucked back and given a disapproving look from Sebastian. "You forget we have company today. There will be none of that." It was hard to say no to such advances when it had been so long since he'd been given this chance. He could inform Mey-rin that he was busy in his office and not to allow anyone to bother him, no matter the situation, but Sebastian knew that the nurse would guess at the reason for such a request and give her disapproval.

Ciel's mouth dropped open in surprise. He clearly hadn't been expecting Sebastian to refuse him a second time. "But...I want to kiss you..." he replied, his voice quiet and small sounding.

Sebastian hesitated, weighing the options of granting Ciel's wish and calling it done for the night. "One kiss?" He asked. "Just one. Nothing more, and no tongue, no open mouth... Just a simple peck." The rules were set and he just had to recline back to await Ciel's decision.

A small scowl crossed Ciel's face, but he nevertheless leaned forward, his fingers tracing Sebastian's lips. There was no way that he was going to miss this time. Their mouths met, and the blue-eyed boy was hard-pressed to follow Sebastian's orders. He wanted nothing more than to deepen the kiss, but he dreaded the thought that Sebastian would become upset or even tell Ciel to go back to his room. Even so, Ciel's mouth parted just a tiny bit before he quickly clamped it shut again.

There was a rumble within Sebastian as he chuckled at the boy's actions. Giving in without much thought, he opened his mouth just a bit. There was no tongue but he believed this would satisfy Ciel much more, and keep the boy content for the rest of the day.

Ciel began to wonder how much he could get away with. If Sebastian had neglected to obey his own orders of keeping their mouths closed, then would it be possible for Ciel to get the doctor to forget about the no tongue, as well? He was determined to find out. Carefully, the tip of his tongue swept over Sebastian's lower lip, and Ciel waited anxiously for Sebastian's verdict.

The action was returned as the doctor's mouth opened to allow Ciel entrance. Their tongues tentatively slid together, as the kiss was kept slow and unrushed. But before the kiss could last more then a few seconds, Sebastian's jaw pressed down, catching Ciel's tongue gently between his teeth. The boy pulled back quickly and Sebastian could only smirk. "I told you no tongue."

"You also told me to keep our mouths closed," Ciel countered, crossing his arms as he pouted childishly. "You listened to that rather well. But really, is anyone going to come in here, especially without knocking?"

"My rules, my rules to break." A kiss was given to Ciel's nose before Sebastian patted the boy on the hip to get him to move back to the couch. "I don't have staff with the greatest of common sense." It was a reluctant admission but true nonetheless. Mey-rin might knock, but whether she would wait for permission to enter was something different all together. Bard and Finny were the biggest concerns. Bard wouldn't hesitate to come barging in, Finny no doubt in tow.

Ciel huffed and sulked on his way back to the couch, sitting with his feet curled under him. He rested his chin on his hand and stared blankly into space. The fingers of his other hand tapped the armrest and he sighed. He had nothing to do, having already read the book he'd brought with him for his weekend stay. Sebastian was more or less ignoring him, and all he wanted was to kiss the older male. That pleasure was being denied him, and it made Ciel wonder if Sebastian was just bored with how slowly things were progressing.

He sighed forlornly. "Is this how the rest of the weekend is going to be? No kissing or touching?"

Suddenly Sebastian wondered if the source of Ciel's irritation had been just that. Were they looking at a case of sexual tension? It would make sense. Sebastian couldn't think of an opportunity that the boy would have to release such things prior to their meeting. There was always masturbation but Sebastian wasn't sure if he could see Ciel indulging in such a thing, and it wasn't something Sebastian could bring up in casual conversation.

"Is that what's bothering you?" he asked after his internal thought process had hit its conclusive end.

Ciel blushed, ducking his head. "I guess a little." He nibbled on his lower lip, refusing to look up at Sebastian. "I just miss being close to you..."

Sebastian deflated and rubbed at his temples. He was getting too old for this young love with all its hormones. Granted, he'd be lying if he said he didn't want for Ciel in ways that left him hard and panting when he woke up in the morning. Cold showers were becoming a staple of his wake up routine.

"You are close to me. You spend all your time with me on weekends," Sebastian reasoned, though he knew that was not the closeness Ciel was referring to.

"But just being around you isn't enough," Ciel protested. "Normal couples touch and kiss each other, so why can't we?"

"But we do kiss." And they did, having only recently kept the kissing down to moderate levels. "Couples don't kiss round the clock. Otherwise you'd get bored with it." Sebastian settled down to look over an order for more syringes and signed his neat scrawl across the bottom. Whoever said that doctor's signatures were illegible had never seen Sebastian write.

Ciel chewed his lip more as he pondered what Sebastian had said. Before, they had kissed quite a bit, every chance that they could. So was Sebastian's reluctance to kiss him because he was now bored of that simple exchange? Perhaps Ciel's earlier deduction had been correct.

"I guess so," Ciel grumbled, sensing that this conversation wasn't going anywhere. Abruptly standing up, he grabbed his cane. Seb was at a vet's appointment getting his shots, so Ciel had been forced to rely on his cane. "I'm going to my room. I'm tired."

The boy was gone before Sebastian could stop him, leaving the elder to grumble to himself. Soon he was left wondering what he had done and what was going through Ciel's head. The boy was so hard to read at times and it left Sebastian wondering if he'd ever figure him out. So far he had concluded that Ciel's foul mood was due to their intimacy, or current lack thereof. If that was the case then Sebastian could possibly give the boy some attention later in the evening when things slowed down and the office emptied out as Bard left, followed by Finny, and the new patient went to sleep. The saving grace was that he was a shy boy and wouldn't go wandering the halls. Mey-rin had put the patient up in the rooms at the opposite end of the hall, which left Sebastian feeling grateful.

Sighing, Sebastian got back to work. He needed to finish this before it got too late. Then and only then would he sneak his way back to Ciel's room. Suddenly he found himself looking forward to the night time tryst.

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><p>Ciel lay curled up in bed, the covers pulled snugly over his head. Although he'd told Sebastian that he was tired, it had been a lie so he could escape without telling the doctor he was upset. Sighing, he debated about reading his book through again, but he'd read it so many times before already. So he resigned himself to simply lying there, waiting for sleep to claim him.<p>

Hours passed, how many was anyone's guess, and it was then that Sebastian found himself standing outside Ciel's door. The hallways were dark and desolate, everyone having gone to bed. He breathed deeply and opened the door without bothering to knock, too afraid that it would echo too much in the silence. A smile bloomed on his face when he saw Ciel sleeping on the bed. It didn't surprise Sebastian; it was nearing midnight and most sane people were in bed.

Walking quietly, Sebastian moved towards the bed and seated himself on the plush cushion. Ciel did not stir and that only caused Sebastian's smile to widen. His hand reached out and combed through the slate black hair of Ciel's head, loving the softness of it.

Ciel gave a soft moan, pressing his head against Sebastian's hand. Blue eyes fluttered open, and he stiffened at the presence of someone beside him. He moved back quickly, his expression fearful as he whimpered. "P-please... Don't touch m-me..."

"Hmm, what happened to you begging me to kiss you?" Sebastian teased, but withdrew from Ciel. He wasn't sure if Ciel was lost in memories or not, and Sebastian knew to play it safe.

"Sebastian?" Ciel seemed relieved and scooted closer to the man, leaning his head against his shoulder. The little spat that they'd had a few hours prior was forgotten as he now laced his fingers together with Sebastian's. "You're done with work?"

"Done for the night. I'll have to finish the rest tomorrow." Sebastian reclined on the bed and pulled Ciel to him, the boy spooned to his side. His kissed his crown, smelling the sweetness of Ciel's hair.

Ciel smiled, fingers rubbing circles on Sebastian's hand. He tilted his head up, pressing his lips to the older male's chin. "So I have you until then?"

For a moment Sebastian was going to reply negatively. He hadn't planned for this to be an all nighter. Yet the look on the boy's face gave him pause, and Sebastian found himself saying yes. "You have me till then." His head inclined then, allowing for Ciel's lips to travel more freely as they moved to his neck.

Ciel kissed his neck, his tongue flicking out. "Good," he whispered. His arms wrapped around Sebastian's waist as he snuggled closer, draping a leg over Sebastian's.

"Falling asleep on me?" The teasing tone was light and Sebastian snuggled into the boy, loving the feeling of Ciel's body, warm against his own. He had no intention doing much more than to enjoy Ciel's presence but it would annoy him if he was fallen asleep on.

"No, I'm not. I'm not that tired right now," Ciel said, lazily kissing Sebastian's neck. He shifted then, trailing a hand up the doctor's chest to find his face, and covered his lips with his own. Sebastian's lips were soft against his own, and he moaned softly into the kiss.

Sebastian allowed the kiss, yearned for it. His mouth opened and his tongue come out to play. No longer were his self imposed rules in order and he gave the boy free reign to do what he pleased. So long as they stayed quiet, Sebastian didn't think they had much to worry about.

"You better not be tired." One of Sebastian's hands trailed down Ciel's back, resting just before the swell of his ass.

Ciel stiffened slightly, but didn't move away. "Even if I were tired, I wouldn't go to bed yet. I'd much rather stay up with you," he admitted. The hand that had been on Sebastian's face drifted down to his chest again. Ciel's heart was beating fast; he'd never touched Sebastian there before unless it was to clutch his shirt, so this was all new to him. He tentatively traced down the doctor's chest to the waistband of his pants before sliding back up. He smiled at the shiver that coursed through Sebastian's body at the slight contact.

"And why is that?" Sebastian asked, leaning down to kiss and lick at Ciel's neck and collarbone. He tasted so sweet and salty, making Sebastian want to sample every part of the boy. It was so hard to remember himself while with Ciel. The boy required special care and barriers; Sebastian did well to remember that.

"Because you're much better than my dreams. And my nightmares," Ciel added quietly. A slight flush graced his cheeks as he mentioned the nightmares, embarrassed at the fact that he still had them even at eighteen years of age. His fingers threaded through Sebastian's hair, holding his head in place by Ciel's neck.

"You dream of me?" The comment about nightmares went ignored and Sebastian busied himself with sucking and biting at Ciel's neck, not hard enough to leave a mark but enough to send shivers down the boy's body. "Tell me about your dreams." The hand on Ciel's lower back tightened and drew the boy in closer to press flush against Sebastian, their legs a tangled mess.

Ciel's blush deepened. "Sometimes I do. We go to the pizza parlor again or we're in your office most of the time." He frowned then. "The only bad thing is I never see your face. It's always this black shadow, and it's irritating."

Sebastian chuckled over the innocence of the dreams. "Does it matter what I look like?" He asked. "Isn't it what's inside that counts?" They were teasing words mumbled against Ciel's skin; Sebastian knew just how much appearance mattered. It was human nature to be vain.

"It doesn't matter," Ciel was quick to say. "It would just be nice to see you, that's all." He shifted so that he could press kisses to Sebastian's face.

"I'd like you to see me, too," Sebastian admitted, pulling Ciel's face up to claim his lips. They were soft and sweet, a treat he freely indulged in. "But for now, you can see me through your hands," he said as soon as the kiss broke, grabbing hold of Ciel's hand and bringing it up to cup Sebastian's cheek.

Ciel's fingertips explored every inch of Sebastian's face once more before his lips sought out the doctor's. Hands tilted Sebastian's head to an angle where they could better kiss each other, tongues wrapping around each other. He wiggled up more over Sebastian's body, trying to get closer to him.

A groan left Sebastian's throat and he stilled the boy. Ciel had a habit of squirming and always against the most sensitive of places. Normally it wouldn't be a problem, very appreciated in fact, had it not been that Sebastian was in no hurry to move to that level in their relationship. Ciel was comfortable with kissing and they would keep it like that. No matter how much Sebastian wanted to press back against Ciel's body and enjoy the sweet friction, he could not.

Ciel pulled back just enough to catch his breath. His fingers stroked Sebastian's neck and dared to slide back to his chest. He shifted again, his breath hitching as his semi-erect length rubbed against Sebastian's leg. He bit his lip, hoping that Sebastian wouldn't notice.

Sebastian did notice and he shifted himself just a bit to give Ciel some relief. The hardness he could feel against his thigh was doing little to drown his own arousal, but Sebastian did well to keep Ciel from coming into contact with the area he needed him most. "Ciel," Sebastian whispered the name along the boy's jaw, nipping and kissing as he made his way towards the fleshy neck.

It was a blessing to be able to indulge in such things after so long without. Sebastian could relax knowing that no one would walk in on them. Weeks of being overly guarded and keeping his affection for the boy to a minimum were maddening. But not as maddening as Ciel himself, in all of his splendid beauty. The boy was a walking sin, and Sebastian was nothing but the devil as he ate at this forbidden fruit.

Ciel moaned quietly. The gentle touches were doing nothing to alleviate his problem; if anything, they were only adding to it. Burying his face in the crook of Sebastian's neck to hide his embarrassment, he cautiously shifted again, a barely audible sigh of relief slipping past his lips.

"It's okay, I don't mind." Sebastian kissed Ciel again, hard and demanding. His hand moved once more to the boy's lower back, pushing him closer and encouraging Ciel to relieve himself and give into the pleasure.

Ciel pushed closer to Sebastian, gasping as the unfamiliar sensation washed over him. All he could think was that it felt good. His fingers tightened in Sebastian's shirt and a moan escaped. "S-Sebastian..."

Sebastian kissed the boy's cheek, finding it a distraction from other things. The heat between his legs was becoming painful, and it strained against his slacks as it stained them in a slick wetness. Idly he mused that he was glad to have kept extra clothes in his office. The thought was pushed aside as Ciel made another sound, and Sebastian pulled the boy into a kiss.

Ciel eagerly returned the kiss, their tongues sliding against the other. "Sebastian," he breathed again and pressed into Sebastian's leg. His nails dug through the material of the doctor's shirt, and he nipped at his bottom lip.

"Yes," Sebastian replied, breaking from the kiss to attack the boy's neck once more. The hand on Ciel's back dug into his shirt and nails pressed into covered flesh. It was so hard not to allow himself to travel that hand just a little lower to grope at round buttocks. No doubt it would allow him to dictate Ciel's movements, making them smoother and all the more pleasing to Ciel, but Sebastian knew that such a gesture would cause all of this to fall apart.

"It...feels good," Ciel admitted in a whisper. Hot tears stung his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. The last time something like this had happened, he hadn't enjoyed it at all; he'd kicked and screamed the entire time. Perhaps it had been because he was younger at that time, or because he didn't know what was happening and it frightened him. But even now, he was unsure of what to expect next. He clung tighter to Sebastian and desperately crashed their mouths together, the familiar action soothing to him.

The kiss was returned with equal fervor, and Sebastian added to Ciel's sensations by moving his thigh in just the right ways to press and rub against the boy's erection. Already he could feel a slight dampness leaking through his thin slacks and Sebastian knew that the boy was so close to his climax. "Give into it Ciel," Sebastian cooed as the kiss broke. "Let it all go."

Ciel choked on a sob. The heat coiling tightly within him was like a spring ready to snap, and he wanted that to happen but at the same time he didn't. His contradicting emotions played havoc on him, until finally it happened. Ciel let out a cry as he came, the cum sticking to his pants and thighs. He bit down hard on Sebastian's neck, not even thinking about being careful not to leave any marks.

He collapsed onto Sebastian after his release, spent both physically and mentally. He drew in a shuddering breath as he tried to steady his racing heartbeat.

"You okay?" The question was asked in a careful voice as Sebastian was unsure of Ciel's reaction after experiencing something like this. His hand moved back up the boy's back to rest innocently on shoulder blades. Deep breaths were taken as Sebastian tried to calm himself down, but with little luck. The bite on his neck stung, but it had been arousing and it only helped to fuel the passion that had became a relentless heat.

"I-I think so," Ciel responded slowly. He rolled off of Sebastian, making a face as his pants clung to him uncomfortably. "I should probably change. And take a shower."

Sebastian chuckled. "Indeed. I can't say that it's wise to wear clothes during activities such as that." He shifted as soon as Ciel was off of him, grimacing as the coarse material of his pants slid against his cock.

Ciel nodded. "Um, you can wait here if you want," he said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "I won't be that long." Shuffling over to his bag, he picked it up and began to carry it to the bathroom. "Just let me know if you're still here or you're leaving. I don't want to be thinking that I'm talking to you when I'm actually just talking to myself."

"I'm going to go run to the bathroom," Sebastian informed as he was already making his way to the door. He had certain problems to take care of at the moment. "I should be back before you're down with your shower." The prospect of finding relief with his hand wasn't appealing; it had been many years since he had last sought his own pleasure, but it was needed tonight.

"Okay," Ciel replied. He quickly entered the bathroom and shut and locked the door. He leaned against it for a moment before ridding himself of his clothes and turning on the shower. He let the hot water wash over his body as he stood there, eyes closed and fists clenched. What had possessed him to act like that?

Pressing his fist to his mouth, he held back a quiet sob. He felt dirty all of a sudden, remembering everything that they had done to him. He grabbed his washcloth and proceeded to scrub himself clean, turning his skin raw in some areas. Ciel then sank to his knees, burying his face in his hands. He couldn't get clean, no matter what he tried. He would always be tainted.

* * *

><p>Sebastian sat nude against the tiled wall of his bathroom. His head was tossed back and his hand worked wildly on his cock, smearing the pre-cum and bringing himself closer and closer to completion. With closed eyes he imagined the look on Ciel's face as he greedily took pleasure for himself with the help of Sebastian's thigh. There was even a drying stain to show for it. He felt guilty for pushing the boy to give into desires that were so new to him, and then finding enjoyment in it.<p>

It was obvious to see that Ciel knew little of what he was doing. He was innocently trying to find his way towards his orgasm and to reap pleasure from it. The boy had acted without modesty and it had been the most erotic thing Sebastian had beared witness too. Just the mental image had his hips arching up as cum covered his hand and stomach. With a curse, Sebastian caught his breath. He needed to get dressed and cleaned. Ciel would be done with his shower soon, and Sebastian wanted to be there for him when he returned.

With one last fleeting thought to prior events, Sebastian stood and left without looking back.

* * *

><p>Ciel was just coming out of the bathroom when Sebastian walked in. He glanced over in the doctor's general direction and gave him a small smile before replacing his bag where it had been earlier. He then found his way to the bed and curled up with a sigh. "Sebastian? What should I do about my pants? Mom will ask about it..."<p>

Seating himself next to Ciel, Sebastian ran his hand tenderly through the boy's hair. His voice was calming when he spoke. "Give them to me and I'll have Mey-rin take them to be cleaned with the rest of the dirty linens tomorrow. They'll be clean and ready for you to take home by the time your mom comes to get you." There was no need for Ciel to take the soiled clothes home, and it wouldn't do to have his parents becoming suspicious.

Ciel nodded, his hand going up to touch Sebastian's. He bit his lip, then shifted so that he was looking in Sebastian's direction. "Did you mean what you said earlier? About not minding what I was doing?" His blue eyes were worried, and there was a faint blush spreading over his cheeks.

Sebastian could only smile at the boy's embarrassment. "I didn't mind one bit. All I wanted was to make you feel good." He swooped down and kissed Ciel on the cheek, feeling the heat of the blush on his lips. "Did it feel good? Do you want to do something like that again?"

"I guess so," Ciel murmured shyly. "That just never happened before. I honestly don't know what I was doing." His cheeks burned, and he quickly rolled away from Sebastian, burying his face in the pillow.

A chuckle left Sebastian; he couldn't help but to find a certain endearment to Ciel's innocence. But it did open Sebastian's eyes to just what he was getting himself into. It would be a slow progression, both mentally and physically. There was no mistaking that Ciel had been abused, perhaps even sexually, with how the boy acted to touch and the terrors that would attack. Every intimate moment, Sebastian would have to be aware of his every move. There would be no sexual gratification to be had for himself, not until Ciel became comfortable with his own sexual urges. It would take time, and there was still a chance that Ciel would never allow the touch of another in a sexual way.

Sebastian had to wonder if Ciel was worth the hardships that were to come. He sighed then, looking down at the blushing boy that was curling into himself. There was only one answer to that question, which meant that Sebastian would be getting to know his hand quite well in the weeks, months, or even years to come.

But as Sebastian leaned down to turn Ciel's face towards him, looking into those blue eyes and kissing those pink lips, he knew he was in this for the long haul. Ciel Phantomhive was not a boy you let go once you had him; he was a keeper. That much Sebastian was sure of.


	10. Chapter 10

**First of all**, I want to apologize to all the readers: both Akiru Chan and I are very sorry that it has taken us this long to update. Things have been very busy and stressful for the both of us, and life just kept getting in the way. Also, just so you know, it may not be every week that we update, though we will certainly try our hardest to do so. For now, read and enjoy the newest chapter! Read and review, flame if you must.

Have a very happy and safe Fourth of July! And thanks to anyone that might read this who is in the military.

Disclaimer: I think I've been forgetting to do this, but no, I don't own Kuroshitsuji or Sebastian or Ciel.

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><p>Ciel squirmed nervously on the couch. It was almost time for his parents to pick him up, but before they could leave, Sebastian was going to give them a progress report. Ciel wanted to know if the treatments were working, yet at the same time, he was terrified. What if they weren't working, and all the hopes that he'd had of seeing Sebastian were destroyed?<p>

He'd been apprehensive about beginning the treatments earlier, and now he desperately wanted them to be successful. If they were to fail, he wasn't sure what he would do. He wished Sebastian were in his office right now to give him at least some comfort from the troublesome thoughts, but he was talking to his other patient.

Ciel felt a twinge of jealousy rise up at the thought of Sebastian touching someone else, then instantly felt bad. It was Sebastian's job to examine his patients, but that didn't help Ciel's sudden desire to have Sebastian beside him, running his fingers through his hair and kissing his lips.

Deep red bled across his cheeks, and Ciel buried his face in his hands. Ever since Friday night when he'd lost control of himself, Ciel had been careful not to let it happen again. Yes, he had enjoyed it, but it was still new to him and scared him. Sighing, he flopped over and curled up. He was so confused about everything. He wanted to have that experience again, and he knew that Sebastian didn't mind, but it was hard for him because he distinctly remembered that happening to him. Only Ciel wasn't the one doing it; it had been them.

Ciel tensed, squeezing his eyes shut. He had to get away from this train of thought. It would do no good to have a panic attack and have his parents walk in and see it. His mom would no doubt make an appointment with his psychiatrist, and that was the last thing he wanted.

A knock on the door caught the boy's attention and soon Sebastian's smooth voice was filtering through the hard wood. "Are you ready, Ciel?" The doctor asked, not yet opening the door.

A few seconds ticked by before Ciel responded, "Yeah, I'm ready." He sat up, carefully controlling his expression to keep any anxiety from showing, and waited for Sebastian to enter.

Sebastian smiled slightly at the sight of the boy. He could tell he was nervous but didn't comment on it. "Your parents are here," Sebastian said and moved over to help Ciel gather his things. The boy's free hand was taken, using the lack of guide dog as a reason to be this close to Ciel as they went out into the hall.

Ciel trailed along behind Sebastian. The temptation to squeeze his hand was strong, and Ciel had to force himself to keep his fingers relaxed and not grip tighter. He couldn't stop himself from brushing his thumb gently over Sebastian's knuckles, and a genuine smile stole over his face. It was nice to know that whenever he came back to the hospital, Sebastian would be here and they could enjoy some quality time together. His smile faltered slightly.

"I'm going to miss you," Ciel spoke quietly so no one could overhear him.

"You'll see me next week," Sebastian countered just as his office door was opened and Sebastian maneuvered Ciel towards Rachel's outstretched arms. Vincent was here as well but his eyes were settled on Sebastian. It was an unnerving look and the doctor tried his best to ignore it as he placed Ciel's things on the floor.

"How have you been?" Sebastian asked politely. "It's been a while since I've seen either of you."

"We're doing fine," Rachel spoke as she hugged Ciel. She then proceeded to look him up and down as if to make sure that they treated him well. She turned towards Sebastian and smiled. "Thank you for watching out for Ciel. It means a lot to both Vincent and me to know that we can trust you."

Ciel tried to cover up a laugh by coughing; it ended up sounding like he was choking, and he felt his mom's hand soothingly rub his back. Ciel wished that he could see Sebastian's face at this moment as he glanced in the doctor's direction, biting his lip in an attempt to keep from smiling.

Sebastian gave the boy a look but didn't comment on what Ciel saw humorous. He had a good idea and it wasn't something that should be brought up in this company. "It's my pleasure," was returned and Sebastian moved to take a seat behind his desk where Ciel's files were already waiting to be gone over.

Ciel took a seat, followed by Rachel and Vincent. He licked his lips as he waited for someone to speak. He was too nervous and, knowing that his voice would probably crack from the apprehension, he was reluctant to say anything.

"Are the treatments working?" Rachel questioned, her blue eyes clouded over in concern. She chanced a look at Ciel, then reached over and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Glad to get onto business, Sebastian leaned back and opened the file. "I'm pleased to say that everything seems to be going well. He's responding excellently to treatment." Sebastian was pleased to announce. This would be Ciel's first time hearing this as well. Some images were produced and Sebastian held them up for everyone, Ciel aside, to see. "The occipital lobe is reforming and mending nicely as you can see here." An image was shown alongside a before scan to show how the treatment had progressed. "Soon the nerves will be more receptive and Ciel will be able to see indistinct shapes. From that point we'll know that he'll be about ready for the surgery."

A relieved smile bloomed across Rachel's face. "That's wonderful news! Did you hear that, Ciel?"

"Yeah, I heard. It's my eyes that don't work, Mom, not my ears," Ciel grinned. While he was thrilled that the treatments were working, it just meant that he would have to undergo surgery at a later date, and Ciel had already had his share of them. After the Incident, he'd had to stay in the hospital for a month while he recovered, and they'd even tried some unsuccessful surgeries to repair his damaged nerves. Fortunately, eight years later, they were more improved with those kinds of surgeries, and it was now possible for Ciel to one day be able to see again.

"How long will it take before Ciel starts to see these indistinct shapes?" Rachel inquired.

Sebastian waved his hand as he thought it over. "Two to three months. About four months until we would be able to do the surgery." There was still a good amount of time until surgery could be thought about and it did not go unnoticed how tense Ciel had become. "It won't be anytime soon, so there is no need to worry." He spoke to Rachel and Vincent, yet his words were meant for Ciel.

Ciel relaxed upon hearing Sebastian's words. "Has there ever been a case where the treatments work but the surgery is unsuccessful?"

"There has, but it's not as common." It wasn't something Sebastian wanted to reveal but he wouldn't hide this from Ciel. The boy had a right to know, and if need be, Sebastian was going to be truthfully blunt.

A nod was Ciel's only answer. If he were to be pessimistic, he'd say that he would be the unlucky one on whom the surgery wouldn't work. He gave a small smile. He had to at least give it a try. He couldn't give up now and let the fears have control.

"Say the surgery is successful, and Ciel regains his sight," Vincent spoke. "What about if Ciel were to receive any head injuries after that? Will the repairs be undone?"

Sebastian sighed and placed down the file and looked seriously at the family. "It depends on where the injury is located. A hit to the back of the head could reverse the treatment and it would be a risk to Ciel to try to repair the damage a second time. But we are talking about severe hits and similar to what destroyed Ciel's eyesight to begin with." It wouldn't be easy for Ciel to destroy what was done, but it was a legitimate concern. "The time right after surgery would be where he'd be most prone to irreversible damage."

"So we'd need to be extra cautious at that time," Rachel affirmed.

Ciel sank into his seat, closing his eyes. He didn't want to talk about getting hit in the head again. The Incident had been bad enough, and he knew for sure that he didn't want a repeat. "I highly doubt anything like that will happen," he spoke.

Rachel blinked. "We know, Ciel. We just want to ask questions and get some answers so we know what's in store and how to deal with anything that might occur. It's best to be prepared."

Ciel gave a jerky nod of his head, his sightless eyes flicking all about the room as he tried not to think about the Incident and the pain. He nearly jumped out of his chair when his mom placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please... Don't touch me right now," he breathed.

Rachel withdrew her hand, a frown now marring her pretty features. "I'm sorry, Honey."

Sebastian had to resist the urge to go to Ciel, but he knew it would only cause problems. He took a calming breath and addressed everyone once more. "As things stand now, everything is going smoothly. Ciel's been an excellent patient on top of that. It's been a great pleasure having him here." A pleasant smile settled on Sebastian's face and he tried to put on his best 'good doctor' act.

Rachel glanced at Sebastian. "That's good to hear. I was hoping he'd be fine here at the hospital." She opened her mouth to say something else, then apparently thought better of it and smiled instead. "Ciel, why don't you wait outside? We'll be out in a few minutes."

Ciel stiffened, and his fingers dug into his legs. "Um... Okay..." He didn't want to leave, half-afraid of what his mom was planning on talking about. He had an inkling as to the nature of the talk, and he sincerely hoped that Sebastian would refuse to listen to any talk of the Incident. He paused at the door, glancing over his shoulder at Sebastian even though he couldn't see before slipping into the hallway.

Rachel looked down at her lap, then raised her eyes to meet Sebastian's. "How is he really doing, Sebastian?"

"He's honestly doing really well. He hasn't had one problem since he began staying the night. Only recently he started allowing the injections without the help of laughing gas," Sebastian explained, sounding like a proud parent. "Ciel has made tremendous progress in more ways then one. You should be proud."

"Thank you. We are proud of him. It's been a long time since he's acted like this, the way he used to before he was kidnapped." Rachel laughed. "In fact, just two days ago he agreed to go out to dinner with Vincent and I."

"I personally think these weekends at the hospital are good for him," Vincent added. "It helps to get him out of his comfort zone and back into normal living. I'm afraid we coddled him a bit too much after what he went through. We should have introduced him back into society sooner, but his emotional state has been weak since then. Every time we tried, he just panicked."

"I understand, but it's good to know that I'm doing more good than just fixing his eyesight." Sebastian smiled, knowing that his words meant more than what Rachel and Vincent would take them for. They knew little of what exactly he had been doing for Ciel. No doubt the boy's agreement to going out to dinner with his parents was due to Sebastian and Ciel's outings to lunch. "Hopefully he'll be a normal young man soon."

"I sure hope so," Rachel whispered. "I don't know how many times I wonder what he would be like now if those horrible things hadn't happened to him."

Vincent squeezed Rachel's hand. "It's okay, Rachel. We have him back now."

"I'm sorry," she gave Sebastian a watery smile. "Whenever I think about that time and how close we came to losing him, I tend to lose control of my emotions."

Sebastian offered a smile but did not listen too closely to the woman's words. This was something he had wanted to hear from Ciel, not from the boy's parents. "Hopefully things will only get better from here on." And Sebastian truly hoped that.

"I think it will," Rachel said with confidence. "This is the turning point for Ciel, I'm sure of it."

Silence settled amongst them and Sebastian took the opportunity to excuse himself and move out into the hall to see Ciel leaning against the wall. "You can come back in," he said.

"What did they say? Did they tell you anything? You didn't listen, did you?" The questions left Ciel's mouth in a rush, and he wrung his hands nervously as he awaited Sebastian's response.

An amused chuckle left Sebastian's mouth and he waved Ciel's concerns aside. "We only spoke of how well you've progressed. Nothing to worry about." He patted Ciel on the head, letting his hand linger longer than what would be deemed appropriate.

A relieved look crossed Ciel's face. "That's good." He paused. "It is good, right? Mom didn't say anything about me needing a psychiatrist again?"

"Not at all." Sebastian smiled and withdrew himself. "We should get back." But he made no move to turn towards his office.

Ciel tilted his head. "Are we just going to stand here?" He stepped closer towards Sebastian, a hint of a smile on his face.

Ciel's look was mirrored by Sebastian and he calmly assessed the boy. "Standing here is nicer than sitting in that stuffy office," Sebastian returned. He knew they needed to head back soon. With how paranoid Ciel's parents were, it was only a matter of time until they came looking for their son. Still, a few minutes more wouldn't hurt, or so Sebastian told himself.

Ciel's fingers twitched, wanting to grasp Sebastian's hand. He bit his lip. "I want to kiss you," he whispered so softly he wondered if Sebastian had heard him.

"Such a naughty thing to suggest, and with your parents in the next room," Sebastian teased but his eyes cautiously eyed the door to his office nonetheless.

"Do you want to kiss me, too?" Ciel questioned coyly, his lips turning up into a slight smirk.

Throwing caution to the wind, Sebastian leaned down until he was only a hairsbreadth away from the boy's face. "What is it you want, Ciel?" Although he already had a good guess as to what Ciel wanted, since the boy had said as much earlier.

"I want to kiss you," Ciel spoke. He could feel Sebastian's breath ghosting over his face. He was so close; all Ciel had to do was lean forward just a tiny bit more and their lips would connect.

Sebastian moved the distance and connected their lips. It was only a peck, slight pressure and then it was over. That was all that could be afforded. Anything more and Sebastian knew he would lose himself in Ciel and that would only get them caught. They didn't need that, not now or ever.

Ciel's eyes glazed over slightly and a smile played on his lips. "Thank you," he said quietly, briefly touching Sebastian's hand.

The hand was squeezed briefly before Sebastian pulled away as if nothing of such questionable nature had ever happened. A professional air surrounded him and he became the serious doctor that he needed to be. There was no longer time for Sebastian to forget himself. "Shall we return to your parents?" He asked and led Ciel back to the office. This time, Sebastian did not hold onto Ciel's hand as they went, instead guiding the boy by the shoulder.

Rachel smiled warmly as the two of them entered the room. "Are you ready to go, Ciel? We decided that we were going out for dinner tonight, if that's okay with you."

Ciel nodded. "That's fine. I'm hungry."

Vincent stood and offered his hand to Sebastian. "Thanks again, Sebastian."

Sebastian returned the shake with a polite smile and led the way back into the waiting room. Mey-rin was there to greet them quickly before Sebastian sent her off.

"Well, until next week then" Sebastian said to Ciel more so then anyone else.

"See you next week," Ciel murmured with a small wave before he was led down the hallway by his mom. He remembered the times when he dreaded these appointments, but now he looked forward to them, if only because he got to see Sebastian. The smile on his face stayed there throughout the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>"Ciel! Dinner!" Rachel's voice filtered through the house as she called up the stairs. Her blue eyes searched the hallway until she saw a door open and he son maneuvering from the room. Sebastian the dog was at the boy's heels and she couldn't help but smile at the sight. It had been a while, it seemed, since Ciel had spent time with the animal. He had begun to do more and more without Sebastian's help, actually moving across a room of his own accord while at home, using only his hands to feel his way across. Before Ciel would never have thought to venture out without the comfort of the dog.<p>

She still didn't know how she felt about her son's new found confidence, even more so she was confused as to what had exactly sprouted it. Rachel could only hope that things progressed in a way that was best for Ciel. That was all a mother could hope for really.

"What's for dinner?" Ciel questioned as he reached his mother's side. He patted Seb's head, and the dog's tail wagged furiously. He was enjoying the attention he was receiving once again.

There was a moment when Rachel seemed reluctant to answer, knowing it wasn't her son's favorite meal choice. "Grilled chicken, with mashed potatoes and steamed carrots." She watched for a negative reaction, knowing it was bound to come. Out of all the vegetables, Ciel liked carrots the least.

Ciel grimaced, but otherwise made no comment. "Is there dessert, too?" He asked hopefully. If there was, that would take away the disgust at having to eat carrots. Either that, or he could try feeding them to Seb again.

"I'm sure there is something sweet in the frig." Rachel took Ciel by the arm as soon as he was off the stairs. "If not, then I'll send your father out to pick up some ice cream."

"Yes," Ciel grinned. They walked in silence, and as they entered the dining room, Ciel spoke again. "Mom, could we go out to eat again sometime? Maybe to a pizza parlor?"

Rachel sighed and looked towards Vincent who was already seated at the table. "Your son and his pizza. I blame his bad eating habits on you!" It didn't help that the man was sipping on a coke when Rachel had filled up everyone else's glasses with sugarless iced tea. She was bound and determined to lower the intake of sweets in this house. The only person immune to this seemed to be Ciel, but he was beginning to be targeted as well.

Ciel frowned. "I don't think there's anything wrong with having something sweet or greasy once in a while. Actually, I think I could live on a diet like that." He laughed at the indignant huff that left his mom's mouth. "But I don't think I'll get away with that."

"No, you won't! And even if you didn't have a loving mother, you'd end up dying from eating like that," Rachel warned. She pushed Ciel over to his seat and forced him to sit with a little too much force.

Ciel gave a slight yelp as he was suddenly pushed into a sitting position, but quickly regained control and rolled his eyes. "I know it's not healthy, but it just tastes good. I've always had a sweet tooth, and for some reason, pizza is my favorite food. It doesn't help that we only have it once in a while."

"Well, you can't go eating it every day." Rachel huffed and shook her head. "Now enough of this. Just eat your meal." She swooped down to hand Ciel his silverware and position them over his plate. A part of Rachel knew that her son was perfectly capable of finding his plate on his own, but as a mother she felt inclined to help. There was nothing wrong with it, and so she indulged herself.

Ciel obediently began to eat, but he skipped over the carrots. He didn't want to eat them quite yet, and he was trying to decide if he should risk giving them to Seb.

Vincent glanced at his son for a moment before speaking. "How are you doing with staying nights at the hospital? Sebastian said you're doing all right, but I want to hear it from you."

Ciel swallowed a piece of chicken while he formulated a response. "I didn't like it at first," he admitted. "It was a different place filled with strangers. But now, it's not too bad. I still don't like going all over the hospital, but there are some places that I feel comfortable in."

There was a peak of interest from Ciel's parents and they slowed in their eating. "So everything is okay? You have a safe place?" It always helped Ciel to have a comfortable place to hide out in when he felt stress begin to take its hold. Rachel let herself relax, knowing that things were okay for her son.

"Yeah. Nobody bothers me when I'm in my room, except for Mey-rin and Sebastian." Ciel didn't mention that most of the time, he was in Sebastian's office with the doctor. He wasn't too sure how his parents would take that bit of information. "The garden is a nice place, too, but it's too open. Too many places for someone to hide..." He trailed off, fingers gripping his fork so tightly that his knuckles began to turn white.

The sounds of dinner started up again as the family reanimated themselves into the meal. "Well, so long as you have a place where you feel comfortable," Rachel said between bites of mashed potatoes. "Sebastian and this Mey-rin are treating you well?" It was a parent's job to worry and ask questions. Rachel was no except, nor was Vincent who listened on intently.

"Mey-rin is nice," Ciel commented. "She's polite, but a bit clumsy. And Sebastian always explains what's going to happen next. He did that a lot when the injections first started, but I'm pretty much used to them by now. If it's something new that I haven't experienced yet, he makes sure that I understand what's going on before proceeding." He quickly shoved some more chicken into his mouth, wondering if he'd said too much about Sebastian and hoping that his face wasn't red like he thought it was.

"You seem to really like Sebastian. I'm glad," Rachel said, followed by an agreeing nod from Vincent. It was comforting to see their son making a connection with another person. It had been far too long since Ciel had last trusted someone outside of family.

"He's nice, and he really cares about his patients," Ciel stated with enthusiasm. "He didn't get upset with me if I freaked out a little about the injections, and he was patient with me. He gave me space and time if I needed it, even if it put him behind schedule." Ciel knew that that had happened a few times, and he had been relieved that Sebastian hadn't been angry with him.

Ciel's words seemed to please his parents, and Rachel turned back to Vincent to engage him with excited words. "See, I told you it was smart to send Ciel to Dr. Michaelis. I had heard nothing but good things and he's so handsome!" She gushed, and her husband humored her with a smile.

"Ah, Rachel, do I need to be jealous?" Vincent teased her gently, his lips tilting up at the corners despite efforts not to.

"You might actually have some competition, dear," she teased.

"And what can some young doctor have that I don't?" Vincent played along. He nearly laughed when he saw Ciel roll his eyes.

"Well, he is far too good looking for his own good. I'm sure Ciel would agree. Right, dear,?" Rachel dragged her reluctant son into the playful argument.

Ciel tilted his head. "I've never seen him, so I wouldn't know." His fingers tightened on his fork as anticipation rose within him. He could hardly wait for the opportunity to actually see Sebastian. He bit his lower lip to force back a smile.

That paused Rachel midrant. She turned to Ciel apologetically. "Sorry, dear, but he does have a dreamy voice, too," she laughed and went back to her meal.

"Good looks, a nice voice. Is that all that matters, Rachel?" Vincent raised an eyebrow, taking a bite of his carrots.

Rachel waved at Vincent. "I'm only joking," she said. "You know I have eyes only for you."

Vincent smiled. "I know." He reached over and touched her hand gently. His eyes flicked over to where Ciel sat, expecting a smart comment in response to the flirting, but none came. Instead, Ciel sat there quietly, head turned in their direction as he listened intently to their conversation. The older man raised an eyebrow at Rachel, asking a silent question about Ciel's behavior.

Rachel glanced to the side with similar confusion. The usual disinterest or disgust was absent from Ciel's face. Such a notable change had her baffled but she did not question it.

The meal was winding down to an end, and Ciel forced himself to eat his carrots, despite his hatred toward the vegetable. For some unknown reason, he felt as though he acted childishly at times, and he wanted that to stop. He was eighteen, after all, and he was currently in a relationship with a much older man. Ciel doubted that Sebastian would like him very much if he continued to act like a spoiled little child.

Vincent noticed Ciel's lack of complaining about the carrots. "Look at you, eating the carrots. We didn't even have to bribe you this time," he joked.

"They're not so bad, are they?" Rachel was getting a little too hopeful, thinking that perhaps her son had a change of heart when it came to vegetables. As the boy looked up, she knew that she wouldn't be receiving any response that would be satisfactory.

"They're still terrible," Ciel scowled. "But I think that just eating them and getting it over with is better than staring at them and prolonging the inevitable torture."

Vincent coughed to disguise a laugh. "That's what we've been trying to tell you for how many years now, Ciel?"

The remainder of the dinner was spent in comfortable silence, with Ciel eating his vegetables, albeit reluctantly, as his parents passed amused looks between them all the while. Dessert was a more lively affair but Ciel was too occupied with ridding his mouth of bitter carrots in favor of sweet delights.

Rachel laughed, making a comment about Ciel's antics that was long forgotten by the time the family moved from the table. Night was settling in a somber contentment, filling the living room as the family sat together with the television off, just enjoying the company of one another. Tomorrow, Ciel would be gone once more and Rachel would lose her son to Sebastian. She couldn't quite place the seed of this feeling that the doctor was wrenching her son away week by week. There was no denying that he was helping Ciel to come out of his shell, but the foreboding feeling still remained, even if it was entirely uncalled for.

Once the treatment was over, Ciel would be back at home and Sebastian out of their lives. He would be nothing more then a happy memory and a man they would send thankful Christmas cards to yearly, but nothing more than that. She sighed in relief and brushed such feelings aside as she watched her son being lulled off to sleep.

"I think it's time for bed Ciel. I don't think your father can carry you to bed anymore," Rachel said in a slightly teasing tone.

Ciel yawned. "Yeah, I am tired," he said, rubbing his eyes. "Good night. I'll see you both in the morning." A twinge of pain shot through his eyes straight to the back of his head, and he tried to cover his wince by shaking his head as if he was trying to keep awake. The pain brought with it a sense of panic, and for a brief second, he was back with them as they abused him.

Forcing himself to stay calm, he gave his parents a smile. "Love you both."

"You okay?" Rachel was the first to stand, followed by Vincent. Concern was obvious in her voice and in the sound of her fidgeting.

"My head just hurts a little. It's nothing to worry about," Ciel was quick to assure them. "Sebastian said that this will happen once in a while."

"Where does it hurt?" Vincent questioned, placing a hand on his son's shoulder.

Ciel unintentionally shrank away from the touch. "My eyes and the back of my head. Right here..." He hesitantly gestured to the spot, careful not to touch it.

"And this is normal?" Vincent repeated, trying to assess if he should worry or not. His wife hovered at his side, looking about ready to fret over their son.

"Yeah. It happened to me once before." A slight red tinged his cheeks as Ciel remembered how he and Sebastian had kissed the last time his head hurt, and then how Sebastian had ended up spending the night in Ciel's bed.

Vincent didn't look convinced. "But it's normal?" He wanted a clear confirmation before he sent his son off to bed.

Ciel sighed, wondering how many times he had to repeat himself. "Yes, it's normal, Dad. You can call Sebastian and ask him yourself if you want to."

That seemed to satisfy the worrisome parents and the relaxed back into the plush couch. Rachel waved her son off to bed and blew him a small kiss, Vincent just smiled. They were still concerned but they resisted the urge to fret and follow Ciel up the stairs to his room. Sebastian, the dog, was there waiting by the steps and he would lead Ciel safely to bed. They had to believe that much, for their darling boy was no longer so little. He didn't need the hovering of a mother and father every second and it was something they were slowly beginning to see.

Ciel slowly made his way to his room and got himself ready for bed, pulling back the covers before crawling underneath them. Seb laid down on the floor, staring up at his master as if he could sense the inner turmoil he was going through.

Ciel curled up and closed his eyes. He was tired, but he had a feeling that sleep might be a while in coming. So he began to count backwards in his head from one hundred. By the time he reached twenty-three, he was asleep, drifting slowly to a place filled with torments.

* * *

><p>It was three something, or so the neon of the digital clock flashed. Rachel only glanced at it for a second as jumped from the bed, Vincent already sitting up behind her. The screams that filtered from the hall had her heart racing.<p>

How many nights had it been since she had been woken by the distress of her son? Too many, and Rachel wondered if she had become too relaxed. Had she thought, hoped, that Ciel had gotten past the night terrors?

Vincent was the first to reach Ciel's room, flinging the door open and striding to his son's bedside. Years of experience had taught him not to touch Ciel when he was like this, even though it was extremely difficult to see him so tortured. All Vincent wanted to do was take Ciel in his arms and hold him close, but the last time he had tried that, Ciel, in his nightmare induced terror, had bitten his arm and it had required a few stitches.

"Ciel, wake up. It's okay, you're home. You're safe," Vincent urged Ciel, who was tossing back and forth on the bed, alternating between whimpers and screams. He looked helplessly up at Rachel. "God, I hate it when it's this bad."

Rachel's hand hung over Ciel, but she was forced to jump back when a fist came flying at her. "I thought he was over this," she cried, fresh tears leaking down her face. It was so hard to see her son like this, so helpless despite his age. Ciel looked like a small child and not the eighteen year old that he truly was.

"I don't know if he'll ever truly be over it," Vincent replied softly. "We both know what happened to him. All we can do is just be there when he needs us."

The next few minutes were spent trying to awaken Ciel without terrifying him further. Finally, Ciel's eyes snapped open and he sat up with a cry of alarm, his sightless gaze flashing around the room.

"Ciel?" Vincent asked cautiously, hand outstretched towards his son.

"Dad?" He whispered, his body relaxing slightly.

Rachel was at Ciel's side before Vincent could have taken a single step. Her arms were flung around the boy and pulling him into her chest. Ciel was warm in her arms, but shaking as if half frozen. She could not even begin to imagine what frights had plagued the boy tonight, nor did she wish to know. For if she did, Rachel feared that she would break along with her delicate child.

Vincent placed his hand on Ciel's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, Ciel jumping slightly at the gesture. "You okay, Ciel?"

The blue-eyed boy shook his head. "Not really. But I don't want to talk about it," he added. "I know that talking about it is supposed to help, but it won't. I'll just have to relive it again."

Neither mother nor father pushed. What parent wanted to make their child suffer, even if doctors upon doctors had insisted that Ciel had to talk about his problems. They didn't know what it felt like, how it was to live with a dark past. Nor did they understand how it felt to be a parent to a child who had been exposed to such horrors.

There was nothing for Rachel or Vincent to do but to stand as a silent pillar of strength. If Ciel needed to lean against one of them, then he was more than welcome to. But they would never force anything upon Ciel, not when the boy had far too much forced upon him already.

"Do you want something to drink?" Vincent asked, and Ciel shook his head.

"I just want to go back to sleep," Ciel murmured tiredly.

"Okay. Call us if you need anything." Vincent smoothed back his son's hair as he laid back down. Wrapping an arm around Rachel's waist, he led her from the room, both of them casting one last look at Ciel before going back down the hallway to their own room.

Ciel tossed and turned for the next five minutes, attempting to find a comfortable position so he could sleep again. But every time he felt himself drifting off, a memory would force itself into his mind, jolting him awake again. He sat up, holding his head in his hands. He knew that his parents had said to call them if he needed anything, but while he would have done that a few weeks ago, it was not his parents that he wanted now.

It was Sebastian.

Ciel wasn't entirely sure why, but being with the doctor calmed and comforted him. It was almost as if Sebastian had the magic touch that could erase any horrible memories and chase away the bad dreams. The only thing was he didn't have Sebastian here. He was at home, not at the hospital. He chewed on his lower lip before remembering that Sebastian had saved his phone number in Ciel's cell phone.

He quickly snatched his phone from his dresser, and with shaky fingers, pushed the right button to call Sebastian. He pressed the phone to his ear, holding his breath as second thoughts washed over him. It was late, and Sebastian was probably asleep in bed after a long day of work. He shouldn't bother the older male like this.

Four rings and the deep sleep soaked baritone of Sebastian leaked through the phone. He mumbled something at first and then seemed to fully awaken a moment later. "Hello?" He said. "Hello, Ciel?"

"Sebastian..." was all Ciel managed to say before tears slid down his cheeks, and a choked sob cut off the rest of his reply.

"Are you okay?" Sebastian was fully awake now, voice laced with concern. This was the first time Ciel had ever called Sebastian outside of professional calls.

"No. I-I had a nightmare, and it was horrible." Ciel squeezed his eyes shut as if that would halt the oncoming slew of memories and clutched the phone tighter.

There was a short silence followed by the sound of Sebastian moving around in his bed. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. "Or would you rather we talk about something else?" Despite the time, Sebastian had no desire to hang up on the boy. Ciel needed him and what else could he do but be there for him when needed, even if that meant losing out on sleep when he needed to be up in two more hours.

"Something else. Anything else," Ciel said desperately. "How was your day?"

Sebastian spared no time in answering. "It was alright. Would have been better if you'd been there. But I only had a few appointments to suffer through," he said in gentle tones.

"That's good. I wish you were here," Ciel admitted softly, a blush on his cheeks. "I don't know why, but I always feel safe when you're around."

"Just close your eyes and imagine me there with my arms around you," Sebastian whispered. He wasn't sure how much comfort he could give the boy when they were so far apart. A comforting voice could only do so much. "Think about tomorrow. You'll see me then and I'll hold you for as long as you like."

"That sounds good," Ciel spoke after a moment. His voice already sounded calmer, and he felt as though he could relax once more. "I'm sorry for calling so late..."

There was a chuckle and then Sebastian spoke again. "There isn't a problem. I'm just sorry that you had to go through what you did. If it'll help you, then you are free to call me at whatever time you please."

A smile spread across Ciel's face then, and he had to bite down hard on his lip to keep from giggling. "Okay. Thank you, Sebastian." A yawn escaped his mouth, and his eyelids drooped. The adrenaline rush he'd received from the night terror was beginning to ebb away, leaving exhaustion behind in its wake.

"Tired?" Sebastian questioned at hearing the quick intake of breath. He could say he was feeling close to sleep himself, but he would not allow himself to leave Ciel just yet. "Sleep, and I'll stay on the phone so you won't be alone."

"Thank you," Ciel whispered again. He knew that he was expressing his thanks quite a bit tonight, but he was grateful to Sebastian for being so patient and understanding, especially when the doctor could have easily said that he was trying to sleep so he could work the next day. It was on the tip of his tongue to say so to Sebastian, but sleep was pulling at him. He snuggled under the covers, carefully placing his phone beside his head. His eyes drifted closed, and soon all Sebastian could hear was the sound of Ciel's even breathing.

The phone was set to the side resting on Sebastian's pillow, the green on light still blaring. He wouldn't hang up, not now even though Ciel's peaceful breaths could be heard over the receiver. With one last smile, Sebastian closed his eyes and settled himself back into bed. Sleep came quickly once more as he was lulled to sleep by the sweet sounds of Ciel's dream filled sighs.


	11. Chapter 11

Here is the next chapter! It's been almost two weeks since I updated last, but I hope that the content in this chapter will appease you all. Read and review, flame if you must.

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the other Kuroshitsuji characters.

* * *

><p>The next day dawned bright and clear, but the atmosphere inside of the Phantomhive house was dark and gloomy. Ciel had woken up due to more nightmares, unable to stay asleep for more than an hour after the first one. Because of that, he was exhausted, and so were Rachel and Vincent.<p>

It was ten in the morning, and Ciel was still in bed when Vincent quietly walked into his room. He gave a small smile at the sight of Ciel all tangled in the sheets from tossing and turning. With a sigh, he went over to straighten the mess up. His eyes caught on Ciel's cell phone lying on the floor, partially under the bed. Frowning, he picked it up and heard the soft dial tone resounding from it. He hit the call end button, glancing at who Ciel had called.

Vincent blinked when he saw Sebastian's name and number, wondering why his son would call his doctor at three in the morning. An uneasy feeling welled up inside him, and he placed the cell phone back on the nightstand. He would file this information away to mull over later with Rachel.

He put a gentle hand on Ciel's shoulder, but the boy didn't even stir. Vincent then retreated from the room and walked down to the kitchen to where Rachel was sitting with a cup of coffee.

"He's actually asleep. I hate to wake him up," Vincent murmured as he sank into the chair next to his wife.

A cup of coffee was passed to Vincent as Rachel sipped on her own. "But he needs to be at the hospital within the hour. I'm not sure the treatment will allow for Ciel to skip a session." She looked worried, but tried to hide it behind her mug.

"I know," Vincent replied, his brows furrowed. "But I honestly don't think that Ciel will want to go even if we do wake him up. And if we force him to go... Well, I'm pretty sure you know how well that will turn out," he sighed. "We could call Sebastian and see if Ciel can skip this week."

"And if the appointment can't be switched? I don't want this to destroy Ciel's only chance of seeing..." It was hard trying to be sensitive to Ciel's condition and still give the boy what he needed. Waking Ciel was their best chance at this point. If they could talk him into going to his appointment, then he could catch up on more sleep once he got there. But there was no guarantee that Ciel would agree.

"I honestly don't know. We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it." A sudden thought struck Vincent and he sat up straighter. "Or would it be possible for that bridge to come to us? I wonder if Sebastian would be able to make a house call this weekend."

Rachel wasn't sure if she was comfortable with that idea. It was one thing for the doctor to be with Ciel in a hospital, but to bring the doctor home seemed a little intimate. Would it really be that bad, she wondered a moment later. At least Ciel would be under their watchful eye. "Do you think he would agree? I'm sure he has other patients."

"The least we could do is try," Vincent replied. Standing up, he walked over to the phone and, after looking at a piece of paper for the number, tapped the number in and hit talk. It rang a few times before someone answered.

"Dr. Michaelis speaking." Sebastian's voice sounded from the phone after the second ring. He had been sitting at his desk when the phone had rung, doing nothing more then filing away papers from the week prior. It had been relatively busy with new patients coming in and Sebastian was now having to add new files to his cabinet.

"Hello, this is Vincent Phantomhive, Ciel's father. I'm sorry to bother you, since I'm sure you're busy, but we have a slight problem. Yesterday was a bad night for Ciel, and I'm afraid he's not up to spending the night at the hospital," Vincent spoke. "Rachel and I were wondering if you would be able to make a house call this weekend. That is, if the treatments don't allow for patients to miss a week of injections," he hastily added.

Well, this turned out to be a surprise. Sebastian looked around him quickly and reached for his schedule book. After last night, Sebastian had been almost sure that Ciel would want to come to the hospital. It left Sebastian wondering what had transpired since he had left for work. "Is everything all right?" He found himself asking first, disregarding Vincent's question.

A heavy sigh left Vincent's lips. "He was up with nightmares every hour after three this morning. He's actually sleeping peacefully right now, and I don't want to wake him up. He needs his rest after a night like that."

The small schedule book was hurriedly flipped through. Sebastian did not want to miss out on an opportunity such as this. He could almost see Ciel's surprise as the boy woke to find Sebastian by his bed. "Ciel is my only overnight guest for months," he finally said after checking to see that he was free. "We had just recently discharged my only other patient at Ciel's level, so I'm free to administer the treatment in your home if you'd let me."

"That would be wonderful," Vincent said, his tone clearly showing that he was relieved. "You're welcome to choose one of the guest rooms we have available. Thank you, Sebastian. We really appreciate this."

"It's not a problem," Sebastian assured. "I just have to finish up some work at the office and gather my supplies. I should be there within the next two hours." He paused just for a moment, looking through Ciel's file that he had pulled out a second prior. "Will I be going to the address you gave on Ciel's paperwork?"

"Yes," Vincent replied. "Do you need directions?"

"No, I'll be fine." Sebastian was already typing in the address to the GPS on his cell phone. "I'll be there shortly." And with some short farewells, Sebastian hung up the phone. A smile crossed his face and he couldn't help the almost giddy feeling that swelled within his chest. Without further ado, Sebastian got to work so that he could get to Ciel all the quicker.

* * *

><p>It was nearing six in the evening when Ciel finally awoke. He sleepily rubbed his eyes, still burrowed under the covers. He was unwilling to get up just yet. Besides, he didn't have anything planned for the day.<p>

Eyes widening, Ciel sat straight up, fully awake. It was Friday today, and that meant that he was supposed to go to the hospital. He swallowed hard, wondering how long he had before his parents came in to tell him it was time to go. Even though he knew he would be able to see Sebastian, he didn't want to leave the safety and comfort of his own bedroom.

"With the way you're breathing, you'll end up hyperventilating," a teasing voice said, not far off from the stressing boy.

Ciel's gaze snapped over in the direction of the voice, a confused look on his face. It sounded like Sebastian, but what was he doing in Ciel's bedroom? "Sebastian?" He asked hesitantly, stretching out a hand. For a brief instant, he feared that perhaps he was still asleep and this was just a dream; any second now, he would be overcome by his tormentors.

"In the flesh," Sebastian replied and moved closer to the bed. "I didn't think you would ever wake up. It was lonely just watching you sleep and not being able to crawl into bed with you."

Ciel blushed, ducking his head to hide his red cheeks. "What are you doing here?" He waved his hand impatiently, wanting to feel the older man for himself.

The hand was caught and Sebastian gave it a tender squeeze. "Your parents called me and asked if I made house calls. I don't for patients, but I'll make an exception for my boyfriend." He smiled and brought Ciel's palm up to his lips to give it a sweet kiss.

Ciel's smile widened upon hearing the word boyfriend come from Sebastian's mouth. "I'm glad you're here," he murmured, his fingers gently touching Sebastian's cheek.

"As am I, although I'm unsure of how your parents feel about the matter." They had been hovering constantly and it had only been recently that Vincent had persuaded his wife to go out for dinner. It left Sebastian alone with Ciel and would give them time to complete the treatments.

"They probably aren't thrilled, but what can they do? I don't want to leave my room," Ciel whispered, hanging his head. "It's been a while since I've had nightmares all night like that, and I really don't feel like doing anything. Especially getting the injections. Can't we just skip them this week?" He pleaded, clinging desperately to Sebastian's hand.

Sebastian gave Ciel a sad look. He didn't want to tell the boy that the injections were needed each week, and they could not be skipped. "If you take the injections, I'll grant you a request. One request for each injection," he said. "I'll be here to hold your hand through all of it. It's no different from all the times before. Don't let yourself relapse like this."

The promise of requests was appealing to Ciel, but even so, he vehemently shook his head as he grudgingly accepted his fate. "It's going to be bad," he warned the doctor.

"It won't be." Sebastian shook his head and grabbed onto Ciel's hand to comfort the boy. He wasn't sure how much of a help he was being, but he wanted things to be better for Ciel. A kiss was given to Ciel's forehead and Sebastian whispered, "But you can ask for anything. I won't refuse you," he tempted.

Ciel gave a tired sigh and leaned against the older man, muttering something about him being a demon who knew the right words to say. "All right. Just please hurry up and get it over with. I don't want to waste any more time being nervous."

Little time was wasted as Sebastian set out his things and prepared Ciel for his treatment. The first syringe was ready, and he cupped Ciel's cheek a moment before pulling long lashed eyelids apart. "You ready?" he asked.

"No," Ciel said weakly. "But go ahead anyway or we'll never get done." His fist clenched the sheets tightly, and he willed himself to relax. Both injections were over in a matter of a few minutes, and Ciel continued to shake uncontrollably. "Sebastian. I need you to hold me, please."

Ciel was in Sebastian's arms in an instant, the man holding him tightly. Sebastian could feel as the boy shook and it broke his heart to think just how fragile Ciel really was. "It's all over," he whispered as he kissed Ciel's forehead.

"For now," Ciel replied as he pressed himself as close to Sebastian as he could. "Does this count as a request?"

"I'll give you this as a freebie." Sebastian chuckled and pulled Ciel closer. His crimson eyes took the time to peer around the room. It was plain looking, beige walls with white crown molding and simple furniture. All in all, it was nice.

"Well, for my first request, I want you to kiss me," Ciel said softly, tilting his head up towards Sebastian's. His heart beat faster as he realized how close he was to the doctor, and a blush crept across his cheeks, recalling the last time they had been this close.

Not one to disappoint, Sebastian leaned forward to capture Ciel's lips in a soft kiss. There was little worry that Ciel's parents would be home; they had only left a few moments before Ciel had woken. They would be gone for at least another hour. Sebastian had plenty of time to lose himself within Ciel's warmth and addicting smell.

Ciel wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck, nipping lightly at the older male's lips. His tongue flicked out and was granted entrance to Sebastian's mouth, which Ciel eagerly took.

They pressed closer together, Sebastian's weight pushing Ciel back into his bed as the larger male hovered over him. Ciel tasted wonderful and his warmth had been missed over the week that Sebastian had been forced to endure without him. If only he could give the boy's parents a reason to bring Ciel to his office daily. The only downside would be that Sebastian would find himself falling behind in his work. It wouldn't be that bad, he concluded as Ciel moaned into his mouth as their tongues tangled.

Ciel's fingers slid through Sebastian's hair, tilting the man's head so that he could kiss him better, before his right hand lowered to his shoulder. His thumb brushed against the exposed skin of Sebastian's neck, and Ciel broke the kiss, trailing his lips up to Sebastian's ear. The older male's skin was soft, he decided, and he felt a sudden urge to feel more of it.

A trail of goose-pimples followed the path Ciel made as he touched along the flesh of Sebastian's neck. The boy's fingers were warm and Sebastian found himself leaning into the touch. It felt so nice to have Ciel being so bold for once, even if the act was of pure innocent curiosity. Still, he would not stop any progress that Ciel made.

In a daring move, Ciel tugged lightly on Sebastian's tie, trying to undo the knot. A look of concentration stole over his face, and the tip of his tongue poked from his lips as he struggled with untying the knot. A slight growl escaped, but soon the tie was loosened and Ciel tossed it aside, not caring where it landed.

His fingers trembled as he raised them to Sebastian's shirt collar and touched the tiny button there. He visibly swallowed as he toyed with it before slipping the button from the hole. Sightless eyes glanced at Sebastian, as if awaiting a cue to continue.

The cue came quickly as Sebastian's hand came up to hold Ciel's own, moving it down to undo the second button and then the third. It was thrilling to have Ciel touching him of his own accord. This was new ground and Sebastian was excited for it, not knowing where it would lead or where it would end. He would not force Ciel past his comfort zone, but he would allow Ciel to go as far as he wished.

Ciel's breath caught in his throat as his fingers gently touched Sebastian's chest. His face was a dark red, he was sure, but he didn't want to stop. Since he couldn't see, he had to memorize Sebastian by touch so that he would be able to think back and remember what he 'looked' like. Tentatively, Ciel leaned up and laid a kiss lower on Sebastian's neck that would have normally been covered by his shirt.

Sebastian groaned in response and encouraged Ciel's exploration. His own hands were clutched within the down comforter of Ciel's bed, arms caging the boy in a comforting hold. Words of encouragement left Sebastian's mouth and he kissed at Ciel every chance that he got, mostly pressing his lips to Ciel's head, cheek, and ear.

Ciel smiled to himself, pleased with how Sebastian was reacting. He continued to touch and kiss the red-eyed male, but with a start, Ciel realized that it was happening again. He bit his lip, wondering if Sebastian had noticed his half-hard erection. Squeezing his eyes shut, he moved the tiniest bit against Sebastian's thigh, and a small gasp of relief fell from his mouth before he could stop it.

Ciel's shy and bashful movements were endearing to Sebastian. He didn't make much of a show out of the hesitant roll of Ciel's hips, but he did shift ever so slightly closer towards the boy. The hardness grew just a bit against his thigh, and Sebastian felt his own cock stirring with interest. He moaned just as Ciel's mouth and hands traveled lower down his chest and Sebastian had to pull back to sit up, taking Ciel with him so that the boy was straddling and pressing down into the elder man's thigh.

Ciel's fingers scraped lightly at Sebastian's chest, leaving tiny red lines that Ciel pressed kisses to. He rolled his hips down and a soft moan of pleasure echoed in the room. It felt just as good as Ciel remembered, and he couldn't help but become a bit more bolder in his movements. After all, Sebastian wasn't saying anything against it, so he assumed that it was fine just like it had been a week earlier.

The last button to Sebastian's shirt was undone and he rolled his shoulders to allow the fabric to fall off his body. Cool air hit his skin and Sebastian shivered. He called Ciel's name, encouraging the boy to touch more and to freely give into the pleasure. His own arousal was becoming painful, and he shifted Ciel ever so slightly so that when the boy rubbed himself against Sebastian, his small thigh pressed into Sebastian's own need.

Ciel laid a kiss to the older man's collarbone before moving lower. Shifting slightly, he couldn't keep back a low moan as his erection pressed against Sebastian's leg more. His hands moved upwards, searching for his face, and when they found it, Ciel leaned up and kissed the doctor eagerly.

Their tongues slid against one another and a wet sucking sound filled the room, mixed with moans and the shifting on clothing. Sebastian's eyes darted to the only clock in the room, checking to make sure they still had time till Ciel's parents were expected back. They still had plenty of time, and Sebastian relaxed some more. It was just beginning to get dark and the setting sun shone through the window, making Ciel's eyes glow.

"What is your second request, Ciel?" Sebastian asked breathlessly as their kiss came to an end.

Ciel blinked and frowned. He wasn't sure what he wanted to ask for. Right now, he was content to just lay in Sebastian's arms. "Can I save it for later? I can't think of anything right now," he explained as he buried his face in Sebastian's shoulder. He drew tiny circles on the red-eyed man's chest with his finger, loving the feeling of his skin.

Sebastian smiled at that. "Well then can I make a request?" He asked, looking positively impish at that point.

Ciel tilted his head curiously, wondering what Sebastian would want. "All right. Go ahead."

"Touch me," Sebastian whispered into Ciel's ear. "Touch me more... Wherever you please. I won't stop you." His words were husky and his body was shaking slightly in his want for Ciel. It was overwhelming yet so welcomed. He could only hope that Ciel would comply.

Ciel nodded slowly. He could do that simple request. "Okay." Fingertips trembling, he ran his hands across Sebastian's exposed skin, over his ribcage and down his abdomen to the waistband of his pants. Light kisses were laid on Sebastian's chest as well, and Ciel even dared to lick at a small section, listening intently for pleased sounds.

Yes, this was what Sebastian wanted. He arched himself into Ciel's touches and allowed himself to recline back so that the boy had full access to his body. It was Ciel's to touch, to own, and to memorize. Sebastian was aware that with each touch, Ciel was seeing a new part of Sebastian for the first time. The thought was exciting and it turned him on all the more.

Ciel's tongue passed over a hardened nipple, and he paused when he heard a moan come from Sebastian. As his thumbs rubbed circles on Sebastian's hips, he slowly licked at the small nub again and received the same response. He couldn't help but smile, knowing that he was the one causing Sebastian to react that way. It made him feel special, and he enjoyed being in control of the situation.

Never did Sebastian think that they would get to this point. Ciel's mouth felt wonderful on him as he licked and sucked at each nipple, giving them both equal attention. The boy was learning, that much was apparent by the hesitant touches, but Ciel was a fast learner.

"More, please," he pleaded, hand fisting once more into the bed sheets. Sebastian wouldn't dare touch Ciel at this point. He was far too afraid of scaring the boy away.

Ciel did as asked, reveling in the small sounds. He grew curious and, reaching up, rolled a nipple between his fingers. Gathering some courage, he licked a trail down Sebastian's chest to his pants, then back up.

Against his will, Sebastian's hips rolled up into Ciel ever so slightly, the tip of his covered cock pressing lightly into Ciel's hip. He cursed himself for his weakness, and he hoped Ciel would not be frightened away from his bold action. The boy's touches were arousing and Sebastian did not want to lose the pleasure coursing through his body just yet.

Ciel froze for a brief instant. His brain told him to stop what he was doing immediately and get out of a possibly dangerous situation, but his body didn't want to stop. It felt good to get relief this way. And if it felt good for him, then he was sure it was the same for Sebastian. The next time Ciel shifted against Sebastian, he also pressed his thigh into the older man's erection. Ciel decided that if he was comfortable with how Sebastian responded to that, then he would continue to do so.

A loud moan fell from Sebastian's throat and he allowed his hips to grind up into Ciel's thigh as it pressed down into him. It was almost too good to be true. He couldn't believe how bold Ciel had become in a matter of moments. Sebastian wasn't going to complain; if anything, he was encouraging Ciel with every sound leaving his throat. He could not wait for the day when he could have Ciel beneath him, calling out and pleading for more.

Ciel panted softly, the pleasure beginning to overwhelm him. He caught Sebastian in a deep kiss, all the while seeking to find completion. He could feel it; he was on the edge, so close to falling over.

The front door opening and closing, accompanied by laughter, had Ciel freezing completely. His mind went blank as he tried to process that his parents were home, and he was currently making out with his doctor.

Sebastian had Ciel sitting back on the bed in an instant. He was up the next moment redoing his shirt and fixing his appearance. Arousal still thrummed through his body and he tried to will it away. His attention was quickly turned to Ciel who looked alarmed and dazed, his own erection still apparent within his boxers. Sebastian tidied him up as best he could and gave Ciel the blanket to cover his lower regions.

"Just try and calm down... Slow your breathing." Sebastian was already gaining control and his anxiety was lessening as each moment went by.

Ciel nodded and followed Sebastian's instructions. He hoped that by the time his parents reached his bedroom, he would be calm. It was easier said than done, however; he was still aroused and he was positive that his face was bright red. The voices drew closer and Ciel swallowed hard before forcibly relaxing his body. His parents couldn't know what he had just been doing.

Rachel was the first to come in, a bag of take-out in her hands. The moment she saw Ciel, she rushed to his bedside, the bag being thrown into a surprised Sebastian's arms. Vincent came in next, giving Sebastian an apology for his wife's actions.

"Oh, Ciel, you look horrible!" She exclaimed and felt her son's forehead.

"He's fine," Sebastian assured her. "His eyes have just been bothering him." He could only hope that Ciel's parents wouldn't question that excuse. Not that they had any choice to doubt it. What parent jumped to the conclusion that their child was having an inappropriate relationship with their doctor? They would be fine, Sebastian told himself.

"He said that his eyes were bothering him last night, too. Are you sure this is normal?" Vincent pressed, clearly concerned.

Ciel let out a soft sigh. "You still don't believe me even though I told you Sebastian said it would happen? I'm sure if there were something to worry about, he wouldn't be standing in the middle of my room; he'd have me rushing to the hospital."

"Quite right." Sebastian smiled at Ciel's irritated tone. "I assure you that it's perfectly natural and a good sign. It means the nerves that were damaged are repairing themselves." The smile was then turned to Ciel's parents to hopefully ease their worry and to get them out of the room. Of course they would have to come home just as things were getting good. For once Sebastian had hoped that he wouldn't have to employ his hand.

Vincent looked satisfied with the answer, giving a small nod. "All right. I apologize. It's still so new to us, and we just want to make sure that everything goes smoothly."

Ciel resisted the urge to roll his eyes. His parents worried too much for their own good. Seb trotted over to the bed and barked once, as if begging for Ciel's attention. Ciel glanced in his direction, but he didn't want to move. Even the slightest of movements made his erection brush against his boxers, and Ciel wasn't sure how much longer he could control his facial expressions. He just wanted his parents to leave the room. But even if they did leave, he and Sebastian couldn't go back to kissing. So how was he going to take care of his problem?

"Well then, if you're hungry, we brought food." Rachel took the bag from Sebastian and smiled. She felt relieved to know that everything was okay. "It's spaghetti." The bag was placed on the night stand and she backed up a bit.

Sebastian smiled and thanked them both for the food. He wasn't too hungry, but he wasn't sure about Ciel. Given the current situation, Sebastian was sure the boy was hungry but in a far different way. An idea suddenly came to mind and Sebastian had to resist his smile. "Also, if you do not mind, I'd like to sleep here in Ciel's room. Given that he might be regressing back into having night terrors, I'd like to keep an eye on him. I don't want the treatment to have an adverse affect on him considering how violent and vivid these terrors can be." It wasn't anywhere near the truth, but Ciel's parents didn't know any better.

Vincent exchanged a worried glance with Rachel. "I suppose you can. We should have an air mattress you can borrow. Is that all right with you, Ciel?" He asked, turning to his son. He hoped that Ciel would say he wasn't comfortable with it and turn the offer down.

Ciel hesitated, knowing that he shouldn't appear too eager to have the doctor sleep in his room. "Well, if nightmares are going to affect the treatments, I don't really have a choice, do I?"

Rachel frowned, but couldn't find any reason to deny the request. Something told her to have the doctor sleep away from her son, but her worry for Ciel's well-being kept her from opening her mouth. She turned to Vincent and he too seemed torn.

"There's no need to worry. I'll make sure Ciel gets a good night's sleep tonight," Sebastian assured them.

Vincent gave a heavy sigh. "Okay. As long as you're sure, Ciel. Don't forget, you can call us if you need anything."

"I know, Dad," Ciel spoke, trying to keep the irritation from showing. He squirmed uncomfortably, and barely managed to keep back a small hiss. He forced a smile. "I'm kind of tired, actually."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Rachel tried to question again as Vincent steered her towards the door. There was little need to hover over Ciel with his doctor about. If they had been in the office, neither Vincent or Rachel would have been able to see Ciel. Their son would be safe. Vincent was sure of that.

"I'm positive I'm fine. I love you both. Good night," Ciel smiled. As soon as the door closed and he heard his parents walk down the hallway to their room, he flopped back onto the bed and groaned.

A grin split Sebastian's face. "Now that was interesting," he said and sat back down on the bed, allowing his tense body to finally relax. "I thought you were about to implode. Your face was as red as a tomato."

"I'm sorry. I'm just not used to something like this." Ciel gestured towards his body, cheeks flushing even more. "It's embarrassing..." And with that, he rolled over onto his side, facing away from Sebastian.

Sebastian chuckled and moved to lean over Ciel. "It's nothing to be shy about. I'm sure you were aware that I was in no better state." He gestured down to his own body which was now relatively calm. The erection Ciel had caused had died before the boy's parents had come into the room, but Sebastian's body still felt slightly heated and sensitive.

"Yeah, but you're also older than I am and have had more experience with this sort of thing." Ciel paused. "At least, I'm assuming you do." It was something that hadn't come to his mind before. He'd asked Sebastian when they'd first met if he was married, and the older man had replied that he didn't have time to pursue a relationship due to his job. So now he wondered if Sebastian had ever had anyone special in his life before Ciel had come along.

"With my hand." Sebastian waved the body part around, a smile on his face. "It'll be your best friend in situations like these, when you have no other way to take care of the problem." Normally Sebastian would have offered his own help, but he wasn't sure how Ciel would take such an offer.

Ciel mumbled incoherently, not sure how to reply to that statement. This was all still new to him, and Sebastian being close by made it hard for him to think. He tried to shift so that he was farther away, but drew in a sharp breath when his boxers rubbed against his half-hard erection.

A knock on the door came and Sebastian was standing once more. Vincent came in, smile on his face, carrying an already fully blown up air mattress. "I thought you might need this." He placed the mattress down a good distance from Ciel's bed and then went back out to grab some sheets, a pillow, and a blanket.

Sebastian took the opportunity to grab his belongings from the guest room. When he returned, the bed was made and Vincent was standing in the hall waiting for him. "Both Rachel and I have work early in the morning so we'll be retiring early tonight. Especially with Ciel waking us up last night... But please don't hesitate to wake us if something happens," he quickly corrected.

"You'll be the first to know," Sebastian assured him. Vincent nodded and took his leave, turning off the hall light as he went. The house was dark, save for a small lamp in Ciel's room. Sebastian continued to peek down the hall, seeing Vincent enter the master bedroom which was quite a ways down the hall. It was a relief to know that it would be unlikely for their voices to travel that far, so long as they were not too loud in their talking.

Ciel was lying motionless in his bed, save for the slight rising and falling of his chest. He glanced over to the area where Sebastian was standing upon hearing his bedroom door shut. "So what are you going to do now?"

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders. "Your treatment is done for the night. I suppose I'm at your disposal now." He leaned forward and whispered into Ciel's ear. "You still have your last request."

"But my parents are home," Ciel squeaked out, eyes wide. If his parents were to hear or see what was going on, there would be hell to pay for Sebastian.

"Can you be quiet?" Sebastian simply asked, not yet retreating.

"I can try," Ciel said slowly. He was nervous; at the hospital, no one had bothered them, but here at his own house, he wouldn't put it past his parents to sneak into his room in the middle of the night to check on him.

In a smooth, quick movement, Ciel was plucked up and placed in Sebastian's lap as the older man laid back on Ciel's pillows. "Relax," Sebastian said, trying to ease the boy. "They are already in their rooms getting ready for bed. Apparently they have work early in the morning." Truth be told, Sebastian was anxious as well. It was highly possible that either parent would come to check on them one more time, but Sebastian doubted it. They seemed to want to trust Sebastian, and in turn receive Sebastian's trust. There was little chance they would be back before morning.

Ciel nodded. "Okay." He sprawled out on Sebastian's chest, his head nestled in the crook of his neck. A contented sigh escaped his lips. "I miss this during the week," he said as he pressed a kiss to Sebastian's skin.

"It's almost torture to be without," Sebastian agreed and moved to expose his neck more to Ciel's curious mouth. It felt good to feel the boy's lips pressing against such a sensitive place. Already, hot pleasure was tingling through his nerves.

Ciel trailed his lips up to Sebastian's, capturing them in a deep and passionate kiss. His tongue plunged into the red-eyed male's mouth without permission; he'd grown more comfortable with it, and he knew that Sebastian didn't mind it all.

It was nice to have Ciel acting on his own accord and without Sebastian's prompting. He signed into the kiss and pushed against the boy's mouth to deepen the kiss. Sebastian wished he could take control, roll Ciel over and ravish him. It was hard to play such a submissive role when Sebastian had been nothing but dominant in past relationships. But one did funny things for love, and Sebastian was beginning to wonder if love was to be blamed for his actions.

A hand crept over to Sebastian's tie, loosening the knot much easier than the first time. The tie was discarded, and Ciel made quick work of the buttons. He was already addicted to the feeling of Sebastian's skin, and he impatiently tugged at the shirt in an attempt to get it off. Once Sebastian was shirtless, Ciel's fingers began their exploration again, roaming across Sebastian's chest to lightly squeeze a hardened nipple.

It was all happening once more, and Sebastian couldn't be happier. This time he allowed his hands to hold Ciel's hips. He loved to feel the warmth of the boy's body beneath his fingers. If only he too could feel soft skin. To touch and to kiss it would be a dream come true, but he would not push that tonight. For now he would allow Ciel to find comfort not only in Sebastian's body, but Ciel's own as well.

"Ciel." The boy's name slipped past Sebastian's lips as his left nipple was bitten and then kissed. Ciel's mouth had the promise to become a devilish thing.

Ciel shifted his body upward to kiss Sebastian, and he moaned lowly as his cock rubbed against the older man's thigh. "Sebastian," he gasped out, shifting once more to obtain that delicious friction.

Sebastian grunted and shifted Ciel over just a fraction so that their hips aligned, his own hard cock pressing up into Ciel's. He didn't move, allowing Ciel to make the first move if he so chose too. A moan did escape his mouth and he closed his eyes as Sebastian tried to calm himself in order to gain some control.

Ciel tentatively thrust forward, mouth opening in a silent gasp at the feeling. His fingers dug into Sebastian's chest, leaving small red lines in their wake. He moaned again; the pressure on his cock was satisfying, and he steadily began to grow comfortable with the feeling.

The action caused Sebastian to release a pleasure filled hiss as his head slammed back against the pillows. "Oh God," he breathed. "Again... Please, Ciel... Again." His pleas were desperate and his hips rolled up, asking once more for what he needed.

Ciel did as requested, leaning down to seek Sebastian's lips. He missed and ended up kissing his jaw instead, and Ciel then laid kisses down his neck, flicking his tongue out to lap at the sweat that was forming.

Sebastian's hips pushed up into Ciel as the boy ground down into him. It was so easy to lose himself then, having Ciel's mouth on his body and as they pushed their needs against each other. It was erotic and lewd, everything that Sebastian had been wanting. It turned him on more, and he could only tighten his hold on Ciel's hips.

A slow burning began to creep through Ciel's body, and his thoughts grew even more muddled as he focused on reaching completion. He kissed Sebastian desperately, hands clutching his shoulders tightly. He thrust forward again, and his moan was swallowed by the older male's mouth. "Ah, Sebastian."

"Yes... Just like that. A l-little harder." Sebastian helped to push Ciel's hips down more firmly, holding them down for a moment as he pressed into them before the boy was let up only to thrust back down once more. There was no rhythm; none was really needed when neither participant cared for such a thing. All that mattered was that they reached their pleasurable peak, something Sebastian had not found together with another in a very long while. To think he would come pressed so intimately against Ciel had him all the more eager to reach his end.

Ciel bit his lip, trying to remain quiet. It just felt so good, and it was torture holding it back. He also missed the sounds that Sebastian made. The burning in Ciel's body began to intensify, and he thrust down harder again and again, light pants falling from his mouth.

Another breathless groan left Sebastian's mouth. "Yes... Th-that's it... Just a little m-more." His head was thrown back and his fingers curled harder into Ciel's hips. For a moment he thought of how they shouldn't be doing this, not like they were. Too much evidence would be left behind, stained boxers, and now probably light bruising on Ciel's hips. But as Ciel pushed his cock back against Sebastian's, and the boy made the most delicious sounding whine, Sebastian couldn't bring himself to care.

Ciel's orgasm hit hard and fast, and it took everything he had to be absolutely silent. Muffling a whimper with Sebastian's shoulder, his body tensed as he came. He was breathing heavily, and he collapsed on top of Sebastian, completely exhausted.

Sebastian came not long after, thrusting up into Ciel's now unmoving body until he shuddered and released his cum in a whispered gasp of the boy's name. The world seemed to stop, a rushed calming overtaking everything in a moment of post orgasmic bliss. Only the harsh breaths of the two males could be heard; all else was merely a whisper in the growing night. Ciel felt like a blanket draped over Sebastian and he could only pull the boy closer, putting a kiss to a sweaty forehead.

Ciel's face was flushed, and he turned to give Sebastian an embarrassed smile. He looked unsure of what to say, so he settled for giving him a sweet kiss on the lips. "I'm tired," he added as an afterthought, yawning slightly.

"That's normal." Sebastian laughed, and situated them so that Ciel was now laying to Sebastian's side, both males turned towards each other. Unfortunately, they could not sleep like this. Sebastian would not risk Ciel's parents coming in the morning to find their son in such a situation with his doctor. "You should change your boxers," Sebastian said after a moment, voice happy but tired.

"Not with you in here," Ciel replied in a panicked tone. He looked about ready to jump from the bed and scurry to safety, and he would have had he not been so drained of energy from his orgasm.

Sebastian managed to smile. "I'll close my eyes, or would you rather me change first?" He teased, and kissed Ciel once more on the lips.

Ciel hesitated. "I'll change in the bathroom," he mumbled, knowing that he could always lock the door to prevent the doctor from opening it. Ciel felt guilty then for assuming the worst about Sebastian, but he was going to take every precaution necessary to prevent _that_from happening again.

He stood to his feet, making a face at the feeling in his boxers, and moved to his dresser where he pulled out a clean pair. He crossed to his bathroom, and before he closed the door, said, "Just knock on the door when you're done." Then the door shut, and the lock clicked into place.

Sebastian chuckled and went to work digging a fresh pair of boxers from his overnight bag. The thought of how embarrassed Ciel had seemed only helped to further endear the boy to Sebastian. He quickly stripped, putting on clean boxers as well as his night wear. It only took a moment and soon he was standing before the bathroom door, knocking slightly.

Ciel emerged a few seconds later and made his way to his bed, crawling onto it and snuggling under the covers. "Tuck me in?" He asked teasingly, although his tone was lost due to the yawn that escaped.

"As you wish." Sebastian bowed and wasted no time in situating Ciel. He pulled the blanket snugly over the young man's frame, making sure to cover him thoroughly. He tucked Ciel in, giving him a tender good night kiss as he drew away.

"Night," Ciel murmured, his eyes already closed. He had no problem falling asleep this time and credited it to the fact that Sebastian was here with him. His dreams that night were sweet, filled with the man he was finding it hard to be without.


	12. Chapter 12

And here is the next chapter! Again, sorry about the wait, but the yummy stuff in here should make up for it. XD But I do want to thank all of you who have stuck with us and continued reading/favoriting/reviewing! We both appreciate it very much!

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither Akiru Chan nor I own Kuroshitsuji or any of its characters.

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><p>Sebastian woke just a little after seven. He was vaguely aware of Ciel's mother coming in to kiss her son goodbye. She looked about the room, as if looking for something out of place. When it seemed as if she were satisfied, she left without giving Sebastian much of a glance. Vincent never came in, and soon the sounds of two cars driving off could be heard. They were alone once more.<p>

Another wave of sleep overcame Sebastian, and he allowed himself to close his eyes. He didn't quite fall into slumber, but his body relaxed. Ciel's soft snores reached Sebastian's ears and he could not help but smile. It seemed as if the boy had slept soundly last night. Perhaps the key was to wear him out enough. A grin touched Sebastian's lips as he thought of all the things he could do to Ciel that would cause him to become fatigued.

An hour or more passed before Sebastian sat up, knowing that he would not be getting back to sleep. It was getting later in the morning and he would rather not waste this time alone with Ciel. With quiet steps, he moved towards the boy's bed, sitting down on the plush mattress and gazing down at Ciel's sleeping face. A hard reached out and Sebastian stroked some wayward hairs from Ciel's eyes.

Ciel's eyelids fluttered slowly before staying open. "Sebastian?" He murmured sleepily, yawning. He rubbed his eyes with one hand and reached for the doctor with the other.

The hand was grasped, and Sebastian rubbed his thumb over Ciel's knuckles. "Good morning," he said, sounding all too happy about it. "Sleep well?"

Ciel frowned a little as he thought about it, but his frown soon morphed into a smile. "Actually, yeah, I did. I slept the whole night through without any nightmares."

Sebastian adopted a wide smirk, looking positively devious. "I do wonder what caused that." He slid closer to Ciel, pressing his body into the boy. "Did you do anything different before bed last night?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

Ciel shivered from the close proximity of the doctor, resting his head on his shoulder with a soft sigh. "I might have. Everything is a blur and fuzzy." He pursed his lips as if in deep thought. "Actually, I seem to remember having someone in my bed for a while before I went to sleep."

"Is it coming back to you? I can always help remind you." Sebastian's head ducked down, and he kissed at Ciel's neck. The boy smelt good, his own unique scent devoid of any artificial smells.

A quiet moan escaped Ciel's lips as he pressed himself closer, tilting his head to allow Sebastian more access. "I think I'm having trouble remembering. You might want to keep doing that, just in case it will help."

Sebastian obliged, kissing a wet trail up Ciel's neck and to his jaw. "With pleasure," he said, claiming that delicate mouth in a burning kiss. He did not have to ask for permission to enter, Ciel's mouth already open and waiting for Sebastian's skilled tongue. The boy tasted like himself, the night having purged all other flavors from his mouth. Unfortunately, Ciel could do with a brushing to get rid of what little morning breath he did possess.

Ciel pulled apart after a bit in order to breathe, eyes glazed over slightly. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of that," he murmured, nuzzling Sebastian's neck before flicking his tongue over the flesh.

"I hope you don't." There was a pleased smirk on Sebastian's face and he leaned in quickly to steal one more kiss. "I don't know what I would ever do if I couldn't have you."

A pleased feeling welled up inside of Ciel's stomach, and he smiled and ducked his head shyly. It was nice to hear how Sebastian felt about him. Ciel considered himself lucky to have found someone like Sebastian who could accept him for who he was, including his faults.

His smile faltered then, and his eyes dimmed. Of course Sebastian accepted him; he had no idea as to what had happened during the Incident. Ciel felt like crying. He knew that he had to tell Sebastian soon, but he wasn't ready to face the rejection that was sure to follow.

The change was so immediate and bold that Sebastian actually pulled back from Ciel. His eyes looked on with unhidden concern as Ciel's eyes dulled and his body shook. All the signs were there, and Sebastian did not need to ask to know that the boy had fallen into another bout of remorse for a past that still haunted his every moment.

Ciel was pulled tight into Sebastian's arms once more, and calming words were whispered into the shell of Ciel's ear. "Hush," Sebastian said. "Don't think of such things now. They hold no importance between us. Just think of this moment and only this moment." A kiss was given to Ciel's temple to seal the words.

Ciel vehemently shook his head. "No. You don't understand. What happened back then... It changed me." Tears spilled from his eyes, and he wiped furiously at them, not wanting to cry in front of Sebastian. "Once you hear it, your opinion of me will be different..."

"Nothing could ever change my opinion of you." Sebastian knew that this was Ciel before him, his Ciel. Not matter what the past may have held for the boy, it did not hold weight over Sebastian's regard for Ciel. He kissed the boy, so tender and sweet, that he hoped to portray just how sincere his words were. Sebastian needed Ciel to understand that no matter what, nothing was going to change between them.

Ciel allowed himself to return the kiss for a few seconds before abruptly pulling away. "I was raped, Sebastian!" He fairly yelled, his voice cracking as he continued. "They drugged me, put needles in my arms. They beat me every day, and they left this mark on my back. It's a constant reminder of what I went through."

He shrank away from Sebastian's touch, hugging his knees to his chest. "No one can ever want me after all of that. I'm not worth anything... They took everything away from me."

Sebastian had known. Somewhere deep inside of him, he had known that these were the horrors that Ciel had faced. Assumptions had bloomed, and Sebastian had prayed that it wouldn't be true. He mourned for what Ciel must have gone through, but now was not the time. The boy was looking for acceptance and affection despite how tainted he thought himself to be. Sebastian could not allow Ciel to see himself as a broken child. No, Ciel was so much more than that. He was not broken, just a little tarnished, and Sebastian had every intention of polishing him up to a shiny brilliance.

"You have no idea how much you are worth." A kiss was placed to Ciel's forehead and the boy was pulled close once more. "Nor do you know how much I want you. Your past will not take me away," Sebastian vowed.

Ciel's eyes widened at Sebastian's words, and he buried his face in the man's shoulder. He wanted to believe him, but there was still a small part of him that doubted Sebastian's words. "You might change your mind later," he whispered.

A light chuckle left Sebastian and he bent down to whisper into Ciel's ear. "And why would I bother doing that? My life wouldn't be nearly as fun if I couldn't do this." Sebastian's hot mouth nipped at Ciel's ear, drawing it into his mouth and sucking at it. It was hard knowing just how heavy of a burden Ciel had been bearing, especially for being as young as he had been when ill fate had befallen him. Sebastian could only hope that he could put Ciel's worries to rest.

A small moan escaped Ciel's lips, and his fingers curled into the doctor's shirt, gripping the fabric tightly. His head spun as he tried to process what Sebastian had spoken. Even after knowing the horrible truth, Sebastian still wanted Ciel. That knowledge made him smile, and he turned his head, catching Sebastian's mouth in a kiss.

"Let me make you forget," Sebastian said between kisses, hands moving across Ciel's body in such a way that had once been forbidden. Since last night, it seemed as if new doors had been opened, even if just a crack, although Ciel's new found openness had also given Sebastian reason to go even more slowly with Ciel. It was a double-edged sword, but he knew now more than ever that he could not push Ciel forward. The boy had allowed Sebastian access to his body.

Ciel eagerly pressed himself closer to the older male as his tongue slid into Sebastian's mouth. A hand threaded through black strands of hair while the other trailed almost teasingly down Sebastian's chest, before he slipped his fingers underneath the doctor's shirt.

The shirt was discarded to the side, falling to cover the uneaten Styrofoam boxes of food that had been left on the nightstand. They continued to be ignored as Sebastian returned the favor and went to work on removing the top of Ciel's pajamas. "You still have one request left," Sebastian said as he undid the last button. That request had ended up leading them into interesting happenings the night before, and Sebastian was interested to know what else Ciel would ask for.

Ciel shivered as Sebastian's fingers brushed against his stomach. He wasn't sure what to ask for, and he frowned slightly. He was always the one on the receiving end; Sebastian never asked for anything. "Um... I want to do something for you. That's my request."

The fingers paused for only a moment before a hand laid flat against Ciel's stomach. "You are being awfully giving this morning," Sebastian said. "Are you sure you don't want something more beneficial to yourself?"

Ciel shook his head. "You never ask for anything. And I want to show you that I'm comfortable with you. That I trust you." Here, his cheeks reddened and he squirmed in embarrassment.

"You don't need to push yourself, not when..." Sebastian trailed off, not wanting to bring up something he shouldn't. He couldn't even imagine the inner turmoil Ciel had faced upon entering this relationship with Sebastian. Every kiss must have been hard, and every step closer Ciel took to Sebastian must have felt like a giant leap. There was nothing Sebastian would do to push Ciel into something, or make him feel as if he had to do anything to please Sebastian.

"I'm fine," Ciel insisted. "You said before that I could ask for anything, and you wouldn't refuse me." His blue eyes narrowed slightly, as if challenging the older male to go back on his word.

An amused look passed across Sebastian's face. "How could I refuse you? I'm all yours." He pulled away, arms spread, as he displayed his body for Ciel to take as he pleased. Sebastian was interested to know what Ciel had in mind, and it made him all the more anxious for what was to come.

Ciel let out the breath he had unknowingly been holding. "Okay. But I'm...not sure what to do." A hand stretched out to rest gently on Sebastian's cheek while the other one lowered to the man's chest, where he idly drew small circles with his thumb.

It was such an innocent gesture, and Sebastian felt his heart thumping all the harder for it. A small part of him voiced that they had treatments to complete for the day, but Sebastian stuffed that thought away for much later. These moments were becoming more frequent, and he wasn't about to discourage Ciel by pushing him away for any reason.

"Do whatever feels right," Sebastian urged.

Nodding slowly, Ciel leaned over and captured the doctor's mouth in a kiss. He pressed closer to the older male and slid his hand over his stomach, feeling the muscles contract at the touch. Curious, he angled his body so this his hips aligned with Sebastian's and thrust forward the tiniest bit.

The kiss was short, and Sebastian pulled away to suck in a harsh breath at the feel of Ciel's body suddenly against his own. "You enjoy doing this, don't you?" He teased and pushed his hips up just a bit. Already his cock was hardening as he remembered where this had all led the night before. Hopefully, Ciel would surprise him with something new this time, as well.

Ciel just tilted his head and smiled demurely. "Maybe. But I think you enjoy me doing it, too." His hand rested on Sebastian's hip, and when the red-eyed male shifted forward, it slipped down towards Sebastian's groin.

The subtle movement did not go unnoticed by Sebastian and he held his breath. He watched Ciel carefully, wondering just what the boy was thinking. Sebastian couldn't hope for what this situation implied. He could not believe Ciel to be that bold, not yet and not after such an admission. The hand moved closer to the hem of Sebastian's pants, and the world seemed to spin.

"Ciel... You don't have to..." But Sebastian couldn't bring himself to fully turn the boy away, not when he wanted Ciel's hand upon him so much.

Ciel hesitated, but only for a second. He recalled, and he blushed as he did so, how Sebastian had revealed that he often used his hand. That made him wonder if someone else could do the same. His hand moved closer to Sebastian's length, and Ciel didn't miss the way that the doctor's breath hitched. He took a deep breath, finally inching his hand towards where Sebastian wanted it the most.

The heat of Ciel's hand permeated through the thin layer of Sebastian's pants and boxers as the boy's palm pressed heavily upon his growing erection. His hips pushed up into the touch, and Sebastian fought to keep himself composed. Thigh muscles shook in his attempt to keep his hips still and allow Ciel to have his fun without Sebastian trying to take over the situation.

Ciel carefully averted his face from Sebastian's gaze; he was positive that he was bright red. Ciel had never done this to anyone, himself included. He gently traced the bulge in Sebastian's pants, stroking up and down his length. He heard a quiet moan, and he almost giggled, thinking about how unprofessional the doctor was acting with the sounds he was making.

A particularly loud moan had Sebastian's cheeks painting themselves a pale pink. "Y-you know how to use your hands," he teased and leaned forward to capture Ciel's lips in a kiss. Normally Sebastian would have felt inclined to reciprocate the touch, but he knew better than to encroach upon Ciel's body without the boy's permission. Once more, Sebastian's hands stayed to the safe zones, the bed sheets or Ciel's hips.

Ciel nipped lightly at Sebastian's lips before their tongues began to duel for dominance. Continuing in his ministrations to the older man's length, he started to experiment with different approaches, pressing a little harder or giving the lightest of touches. He kept careful track of what Sebastian seemed to like, filing it away for future use.

"You're such a tease," Sebastian said after a particularly light touch. It was maddening to have Ciel's hand so close to his cock but still have the barriers of his clothes between them. He wanted nothing more than to feel those hot fingers pressing and stroking his heated flesh. Skin upon skin sounded delightful, but he needed more than just their bare chests rubbing together. Sebastian needed more but was not at liberty to ask for it.

Ciel grinned. "So I'm guessing that feels good?" He questioned, holding his breath. He had an inkling that it did feel good, but he wanted to hear it from Sebastian's lips.

"Don't you know?" Sebastian questioned as he gently pressed his thigh up between Ciel's legs to press against the erection there. "Your hand feels wonderful there." Smiling, Sebastian leaned up and gave Ciel an appreciative kiss.

Ciel moaned softly into the kiss. His hand continued its movement before halting at the waistband of Sebastian's pants as an idea formed in his mind. "Sebastian? Would it feel better if your pants were off?"

They paused, both looking into the other's eyes. Sebastian looked stunned and conflicted. He hadn't expected that, like much of what Ciel was suggesting that morning, to be thrown onto the table. "It would," he began carefully. "But I'm not sure if you're ready." Sebastian wasn't sure what all Ciel had endured. He assumed that men had forced themselves upon Ciel, but he wasn't sure as to what all the boy had been forced to do to them, and if such a similar action taken upon Sebastian would have a negative outcome in the long run.

A frown found its way to Ciel's lips. "Why wouldn't I be ready?" He asked. "Is it because I don't have any experience with this?"

Sebastian shook his head. It was a delicate subject and he wasn't sure how best to approach it. "I care too much about you. Are you sure you are ready to take things to the next step, especially with what you've been through?" He cringed, knowing that that had not come out in the best of ways. "I want you, Ciel, so damn much... But not at the sake of your comfort."

"Oh..." Ciel glanced away, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he thought about how to reply. "I've never...touched anyone like this before," he said at last, and he blushed as he continued. "I don't mind doing this for you." Fingers hooked around the waistband, waiting patiently for the signal to continue.

No answer came for a moment. Sebastian was breathing heavily, and looking torn and wanting. Finally he gave the slightest of nods, his eyes closing as he focused on the sensations that would soon come. He could already feel the warmth of Ciel's fingers tickling against his abdomen as they prepared to fully disrobe him. The heart in his chest was frantic and he could no longer control his breathing as he thought of what was to come.

The fabrics were slowly slid down Sebastian's hips until the man was completely naked in front of Ciel. Not that Ciel could see in the conventional way, but with his fingertips as they danced lightly down the doctor's length.

Sebastian sucked in a breath at the curious touches. He knew what Ciel was doing. Ciel was seeing him in the most intimate of ways for the first time. It was such an erotic thought and he watched as pre-cum gathered at the tip of his cock. The substance was smeared across the head as one of Ciel's fingers passed across milky pearls of it. Sebastian shuddered, and he held back a pleased moan.

"Please don't be quiet," Ciel requested quietly. "I can't see your face to know if I'm doing something right or wrong." His voice shook slightly. He was nervous, if he were to be honest with himself. He had no idea what he was doing, and he wasn't entirely sure that he knew why he had suggested this. He swallowed hard, stroking Sebastian's cock with a bit more pressure. He didn't want to give Sebastian any reason to believe that he was having second thoughts.

"Yo-you're doing great." Sebastian had never been one to be overly vocal. There had never been a reason for him to be until now it seemed. He let a little more of his pride crumble away for Ciel's sake and groaned his pleasure. "Yes... Right there." Ciel's thumb pressed into the slit of Sebastian's cock, sending his hips bucking up into the digit. Sebastian allowed a gasp to follow the action and continued to grind up into Ciel's hand.

Sebastian's response startled Ciel, who had not been expecting something like that. He stared with wide eyes in Sebastian's direction, not moving until his curious nature got the best of him and he repeated his earlier action. With almost devilish delight, Ciel continued with his exploration, intent on seeing how unprofessional Sebastian could become.

No longer able to sit upright, Sebastian reclined against Ciel's pillows. His hands buried themselves in the sheets and his eyes peered through eyelashes as Sebastian looked down at Ciel. There was no purpose or skill to Ciel's touches, and that kept them from being arousing. They touched everywhere, and stayed nowhere for too long. Once they even pressed against Sebastian's balls, earning a deep moan from Sebastian.

Ciel bit his lip. He could tell that Sebastian was enjoying this, but the sounds he was making were almost nothing like the sounds he'd been making the previous night. Frowning, he turned towards Sebastian. "Am I doing something wrong?"

It took a moment for Sebastian to collect himself. Ciel wasn't doing anything wrong per se, but it was evident that the boy needed some direction. "You're doing fine, but let me show you something." He released his hand from the sheets, bringing it up to wrap around Ciel's fingers. They were guided back to Sebastian's cock and he wrapped Ciel's hand around the base. "Hold me like that, not too tight but not too loose. Squeeze just a bit and..." Sebastian drew Ciel's hand up as they both stroked Sebastian. There wasn't any rhythm, not that any was needed for the sake of this lesson. Sebastian was breathing hard again, and he groaned as his head was teased just a bit. "Just k-keep stroking like that. Alternate speed and tightness as you see fit, and remember to give attention to head and balls," Sebastian finished and allowed Ciel some independence as he withdrew.

Ciel faltered as he tried to follow Sebastian's instructions. He stroked the older male's cock with one hand, while the thumb on his other hand slid across the head before dipping into the slit. He felt moisture gathering there, and he tilted his head, hoping that he hadn't hurt Sebastian.

Ciel lifted the hand to his nose; the liquid didn't smell like blood, and when he flicked his tongue out to lick it, he found that it didn't taste like blood, either. Instead of being metallic and coppery, it was bitter. He made a face and returned his hand to stroking Sebastian's length.

"Don't like the taste?" Sebastian teased. "It's something that takes a little getting used to." The pre-cum was helping to lubricate him as Ciel worked, but seeing the boy's interest in the substance was endearing. He couldn't wait until he could have those lips around his cock, and see the look on Ciel's face when his mouth was filled with Sebastian's cum. A particularly tight squeeze had Sebastian suddenly bucking up into Ciel's hands and a few breathless 'ah's falling from his lips. It wouldn't take long for Sebastian to reach his end. Ciel was doing a fabulous job with his hands to say the least.

"It's..." Ciel searched for the right word to use. "Different," he ended up saying. His hands continued the rhythm of up and down, and he lightly squeezed the base of Sebastian's cock. More pre-cum was smeared across the tip, and Ciel worked to quicken the pace.

Sebastian hummed in both agreement to Ciel's words and his touches. "It can be sweet, too, at times. I'll have to watch what I eat if you wish to become adventurous with your mouth." He loved the blush that seemed to brighten on Ciel's cheeks. The boy looked far too cute to be of the age that he was. Ciel was a child still, despite being of adult age. At times like these, Sebastian had forced himself not to see it, but it was still blatantly there. Fortunately, Ciel was growing up quite quickly.

The hands on Sebastian's cock moved with greater purpose and had become more sure of themselves. He could feel them tightening and pressing into areas which would make Sebastian release a moan or a gasp. Every once in a while, his balls would be palmed and played with before the hands would return to his cock. The head of it was an angry red, begging for completion as it wept its juices down on Ciel's hand.

Perhaps Sebastian could persuade Ciel to lick his fingers clean. Even if the boy did not care for the taste of Sebastian's cum, that didn't mean he couldn't tolerate it. Sebastian would have loved to be able to taste himself on Ciel's tongue, knowing just why that taste had been there. It was an arousing thought and Sebastian began losing control of his hips as they rolled up into Ciel's hands with a purpose.

"Please Ciel... F-faster." He instructed Ciel on where and how to touch him, leading the boy to help him reach his orgasm. Sebastian's hand was on Ciel's thigh, gripping it in an attempt to keep some control over himself. The faster Ciel's hand worked him, the faster Sebastian thrusted until he came with a yell of Ciel's name.

Cum spurted up, and to Sebastian's erotic delight, it splattered onto Ciel's cheek. The white substance also covered the boy's hand and arm, making him look rather appetizing. Needless to say, Sebastian found it hard not to smile, but he gave Ciel a small apology nonetheless.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make a mess of you," Sebastian said, humor clear in his voice.

Ciel blinked, and the shocked look on his face gradually faded away. "That's okay," he spoke in a dazed tone. He hadn't known that orgasms could be that fierce, and he found himself wondering if he would act that way, as well. He quickly withdrew from that train of thought. He and Sebastian were having a nice morning, and he didn't want to ruin that by having a panic attack.

"I guess I should clean myself up," Ciel murmured. He shifted to get off the bed and hissed. His forgotten erection now made itself known once more as his boxers brushed against it, creating blessed friction.

The action was noticed by Sebastian, and he gave a small sigh. "That should be taken care of," he said, although unsure of what the best course would be. Ciel could relieve himself in the bathroom, or Sebastian would be more than willing to help with the problem. The only issue was that Sebastian was unsure as to what Ciel would be comfortable in pursuing. Either way, a cold shower didn't seem like a pleasant idea.

"Like how we did last night?" Ciel asked tentatively. He wasn't sure if he wanted Sebastian's hands on that part of his anatomy yet. While he knew that it would probably feel good, he wasn't comfortable enough to take his pants off.

Sebastian nodded. "That or you could do to yourself what you did to me." He gave Ciel an encouraging smile, hoping to put little pressure on the boy. Whatever they chose in the end would have to be quick. They still had pressing matters to attend to, and Ciel's parents would not be gone all day.

Ciel was silent for a time before leaning forward and catching Sebastian in a kiss. He moved closer to the red-eyed male, shifting so that he was straddling Sebastian's thigh. His length pressed into the thigh, and Ciel couldn't help but moan into the kiss.

The kiss was short as Sebastian pulled away, his hot tongue coming out to lick at Ciel's cheeks. He cleaned away his own cum, not wanting it to dry and bother Ciel later if it was forgotten in this new tryst. Already Sebastian's hands had found themselves on Ciel's hips and were helping the boy to find pace and position to thrust up into Sebastian's thigh.

It was the same scene all over again, but this was what Ciel was comfortable with so Sebastian allowed it. What else could he do? He would not deny Ciel release after he had been given it. They kissed again, and Sebastian forced his tongue into Ciel's mouth.

Ciel's tongue curled around Sebastian's, and he thrust forward with his hips, grateful for the friction. He could feel the doctor's hands on his body, and he idly thought what it would feel like to have Sebastian do what Ciel had done. It sounded good, except for the fact that Ciel wanted to keep his clothes on. Then again, he still had his pants on even now, so what was the difference if he was using Sebastian's leg or hand to find completion?

"Please... Will you use your hand?" Ciel found himself gasping out between kisses.

Sebastian pulled away. "Are you sure?" he asked, not believing Ciel had requested such a thing. The nod he received in reply did not fully convince him and he paused to think over his options. It wouldn't hurt things so long as he stopped at any sign of distress from Ciel.

He pushed Ciel back onto the bed, and bent down to kiss him. It was an innocent ploy to distract Ciel as Sebastian's hand pressed for the first time against Ciel's clothed erection. The material was damp, and the cock twitched at Sebastian's touch. He pressed his palm to it and began stroking and petting Ciel anyway he could in such a situation.

Ciel's mouth fell open, and his back arched off the bed, forcing himself more into Sebastian's hand. This felt even better than simply using the older man's thigh. It was more intense and pleasurable; it was all Ciel could do to force himself to think coherent thoughts. "Ah... S-Sebastian..." He moaned.

"Yes, that's it, Ciel." Sebastian's hand moved quicker and rubbed with just enough pressure to keep it from being painful. He loved the look in Ciel's eye, the want and need that only he could give. It was satisfying to be doing this finally, even if Ciel's cock was still hidden within his pants. This was still an improvement, and Sebastian knew that they were moving forwards. "Let yourself go. Cum for me, Ciel."

Ciel's fists clenched around the sheets that were strewn about the bed. Light pants fell from his lips as he desperately bucked his hips, searching for anything to help him find completion. A familiar burning began in his stomach, and Ciel realized that it wouldn't be that much longer before the end came.

Pants and moans filled the room once more, although the origin of the sounds came from Ciel this time around. Sebastian's hand worked with skill and precision. He could feel his own arousal beginning to grow and fill him, but he forced it down. This was not about him now; this was all for Ciel.

"Do you like this?" He asked Ciel as his fingers pressed into the head of Ciel's cock. The area was damp on the boy's pajama pants, and Sebastian could only imagine the cum that beaded from the slit at the erection's tip. "Do you feel good?"

"Y-yes," Ciel gasped out. Sebastian stroked his cock a few more times before Ciel's body jerked as he reached his climax. A strangled version of Sebastian's name fell from Ciel's lips, and he tightened his hold on the sheets. After his orgasm had washed over him, he sagged limply back onto the bed, trying to gain control of his breathing.

Sebastian leaned over him and deposited a kiss to Ciel's sweaty brow. He chuckled at the boy's spent body, cheeks flushed and eyes still dazed. "You're so cute." And indeed Ciel was. To Sebastian, he looked rather appetizing lying there in post orgasmic bliss. If only they could stay in bed like this all day.

"I'm tired again," Ciel proclaimed with a small yawn. "But I have to get up now, don't I?" He laced Sebastian's fingers with his, thumb caressing the back of the red-eyed man's hand.

"You do." They still had to get cleaned, eat breakfast and then move forward with Ciel's treatment. He wasn't looking forward to the last item on the list. It was always hard to see how much Ciel was affected by the injections. If Sebastian could protect Ciel even from the horrors of his own doing, then Sebastian would. But as it stood, Sebastian was helping Ciel towards a greater good and he would not stop it now. Ciel was strong; he would be okay.

Ciel sighed. "I should take a shower. And then we can eat breakfast." He stretched his arms above his head before hopping off the bed, going to his dresser to pull out some clean clothes. "I won't take long," he said to Sebastian as he disappeared into the bathroom.

Sebastian spread out on the bed, his body still nude and exposed. He wasn't going to bother with getting dressed until he could clean himself. Dried cum still clung to parts of him, and it already felt uncomfortable. He made a face and turned his attention to the bathroom door. The shower could be heard running and Sebastian entertained himself with the thought of Ciel's naked body under the spray of hot water. If only he could be in there beside Ciel. He would wash the boy's shoulders and perhaps his hands could venture further south.

The thought was cut off quickly. Sebastian didn't need to have a problem to take care of. He wanted to get clean and not make more of a mess. Soon enough, the shower was turned off and Sebastian sat up as he awaited Ciel's return.

Ciel entered the bedroom, wearing jeans and a dark blue t-shirt, and shook his head, making water droplets fly through the air. "You can shower now if you'd like," he offered. "You can use the shower in the guest room, or the one in my bathroom." He tossed his dirty clothes into the hamper then crossed over to his bed, stretching out a hand for Sebastian.

"I'll use yours if you don't mind." Sebastian didn't feel like walking out of the room in his current state of undress. He stood and moved into the bathroom. Steam still clung to the mirror and the air felt heavy. It did little to bother him, not when Sebastian was intent on getting himself nice and clean.

Seb came trotting into the room, looking happy to see Ciel. He gave a small bark and wagged his tail as he licked his master's cheek.

Ciel laughed. "Seb, I just took a shower. I don't need another one." He wrapped his arms around the dog's neck, petting the soft fur. "You're a good dog," he whispered.

The dog licked at Ciel's cheek, happy to see the boy after a night of having to sleep in the living room. It wasn't often that the two got to spend time with one another. Seb was becoming less needed in day to day life, and was reverting into what a pet should be. He had little purpose with Ciel's new need for independence. The dog pressed closer to the boy and wagged his tail happily.

A few minutes later, Ciel glanced over when the bathroom door opened. A smile lit his face. "Hey," he greeted Sebastian cheerfully. "Ready for breakfast?"

"Are you making it for me?" Sebastian teased as he went over to his belongings. He didn't even hesitate in dropping his towel. Ciel could not see his state of undress, nor did he care if Ciel saw. They had already gotten past that awkward stage; well, Sebastian had. He guessed it would be different once Ciel was able to see once more.

"I can make cereal," Ciel offered. "That's about it. Oh, and toast, too. Mom won't let me near the stove."

A deep chuckle sounded behind Ciel, and Sebastian covered his mouth to muffle the sound. "Toast should be good... With some jam if you have any." He didn't ask if there had been a reason for Ciel being banned from the stove, aside from being blind.

"Okay, let's go then." Ciel stood, snapping his fingers for Seb to follow. He led the way to the kitchen with ease, having walked that way hundreds of times before. He got the bread out and pointed to the fridge. "There should be jam in there. I think we have a few different kinds, so pick one that you like. The silverware is over here," he said as he pulled open a drawer and retrieved a butter knife.

Sebastian plucked a jar of blueberry jam along with a tub of butter and set them on the counter as he went to get a knife from the drawer. He watched contentedly as Ciel stumbled around with the slices of bread, trying to feel for the slots in the toaster and place the pieces inside. Ciel did well enough and Sebastian felt no need to help.

"Do you make toast often?" Sebastian felt inclined to ask out of simple curiosity.

"Whenever I can convince my mom to let me. I think I've mentioned before that she obsesses over my health. I have to eat three good meals a day. To her, toast isn't a healthy breakfast, especially if that's all that I eat." While Ciel waited for the toast to pop, he headed over to a corner where a big plastic container filled with dog food sat. He poured a few scoops into Seb's dish and called the dog over.

"Well, it can be healthy enough if you eat whole grain bread with jam or honey on it. Just don't use butter." Sebastian eyed the butter he had gotten out and began to rethink his decision to use it. Now didn't seem like the time for him to become a hypocrite. The toaster dinged and the toast popped from the top. With hurried steps, Sebastian claimed the slices before Ciel could make it back.

Sebastian laughed and placed an even amount of pieces on each plate. "Do you want jam?" He asked, eyeing the toast that was indeed wheat at the very least. It seemed very predictable, knowing Rachel.

Ciel nodded. "Sure. What would you like to drink?" He questioned as he got two cups from a cupboard. He crossed back to the fridge and waited for Sebastian's answer.

What to drink, Sebastian thought. "I suppose coffee or tea is out of the question." He thought back to what he had seen in the refrigerator. "Some orange juice?" Sebastian had never been one for juices, but he supposed it was better than nothing. Perhaps he would even make a good example for Ciel.

"Okay." Ciel got the juice out. He stuck part of his finger inside the rim of one of the cups and filled it with the liquid, taking care to stop when he could feel the juice at his fingertip. "You can pour your own, unless you don't mind my finger being in your juice," he said as he placed the carton back on the counter.

A smiled curled Sebastian's lips. "Considering I've had your tongue in my mouth, I doubt your finger in my drink would bother me much." He loved teasing Ciel. The boy looked far too tempting with a blush on his cheeks.

Ciel ducked his head in an attempt to hide his red cheeks. "Well, I guess so..." He offered Sebastian a shy smile. He had yet to get used to the teasing, since no one had ever done that to him, especially after the Incident. Everyone was too afraid of causing a panic attack.

But Sebastian, although he did tease Ciel, seemed to understand that there were some things to joke about and other things to stay away from. Ciel appreciated that Sebastian was concerned for him, but it didn't deter him from acting normally. Sebastian treated Ciel like a person, whereas his family and few friends treated him like a fragile porcelain doll. A warm feeling spread throughout his body, and he couldn't help but grin widely. That was one reason that he liked the doctor so much.

He poured a drink for Sebastian and handed it to him. "We can sit at the table in here or take it up to my room, since Mom isn't home to stop us."

"Let's eat down here." The sooner they ventured up stairs, the sooner Sebastian would have to perform the treatment. If they stayed down here, then Sebastian didn't have to think about it nor did he have to bring it up just yet to Ciel. He hated how the light in Ciel's eyes seemed to die just a little during and after each injection. Very soon it would all be over, and they would be reaping the benefits of it.

Sebastian moved over to the table and seated himself, pulling out a chair for Ciel. He sipped at his orange juice before opening the jar of jam and spreading the sweetness across his toast. Blueberry had always been a flavor he had been partial too. One of the few sweet things he enjoyed.

Ciel began to eat his jam-covered toast, growling slightly as the sticky substance coated his fingers. He licked the digits clean and picked up his other slice. "I'm glad that you came this weekend."

"I'm glad to be here." Such a visit had never been expected, and Sebastian wasn't known to be one to make house calls. This was an opportunity that he could never pass up. The trip had turned out to be more prosperous then he had ever thought possible. "Perhaps you will come visit my house some day?" He suggested, not really believing Ciel would agree to such a thing.

Ciel's head jerked up, a piece of toast hanging from his mouth before he finally managed to swallow it through his shock. "Um... I'm not sure how I would be able to do that... My parents drive me everywhere."

A mischievous look crossed Sebastian's face. "Oh, don't worry about that. I'm sure I can think of something." It wouldn't be too hard to get Ciel over to his house. The treatment could be given anywhere. If it can be given at Ciel's home, then it surely could be given at Sebastian's own home. "Would you like to come over to my place?"

Ciel nodded slowly, a pleased look on his face. It appeared as though Sebastian really did care for him and wanted him still, even after hearing about the Incident. The thought that Sebastian wanted Ciel to come over to his house was proof of that. The blue-eyed boy squirmed in his seat, finding it difficult to sit still now in his excitement. He couldn't wait to see what the next few weeks would hold in store for him.


	13. Chapter 13

And here is the next chapter! So very sorry for the long wait, but real life has been getting in the way of our writing lol. It sucks, it really does, especially since both of us want to get these chapters out quickly for you all.

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither Akiru Chan nor I own Kuroshitsuji or any of its characters.

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><p>Two weeks had passed since Sebastian's trip to Ciel's home. It had been quite a pleasurable time, the weekend spent with Ciel filled with new discovery and intimate time together. Ciel had been opening up far quicker than Sebastian had ever hoped. He was now initiating kisses and touches, and Sebastian was no longer on edge as he feared spurring Ciel into another terror.<p>

The two men were currently sitting quietly in Sebastian's office, awaiting Rachel's or Vincent's arrival to take Ciel home. It was quiet. Sebastian was thinking and doing paperwork like he often did, and Ciel was sitting on the couch fingering through one of his books. A question ticked Sebastian's tongue as he worked. He had been wanting to ask it all week, but it only made him nervous. It was like he was a schoolgirl confessing to her crush. Sebastian didn't like the feeling.

With a huff, he finally slapped down a paper and turned to look at Ciel. The action seemed to have gained the boy's attention, blue eyes looking expectantly in Sebastian's direction.

"Can I ask you something?" Sebastian said, hoping that the offer wouldn't be turned down.

Ciel tilted his head as he wondered what would be asked. He had a feeling it was something important, since Sebastian had been distracted basically the entire day. "Okay. Go on."

Sebastian shifted in his chair. "Would you still like to come visit my place with me?" He asked carefully. "I can arrange it if you'd like to go next weekend. We can perform your treatment there, and get you back to the hospital Sunday morning before your parents arrive." It would be rather simple really. He would call Mey-rin, Bard, and Finny to inform them that he would be making another house call to the Phantomhive residence. Bard and Finny wouldn't bother coming into the office, and Mey-rin would come in later in the day on Saturday to ready things for the following week since she was off on Sunday. Everything seemed far too perfect.

A stunned silence followed as Ciel sat motionless. Sebastian had mentioned a few weeks prior that he wanted Ciel to visit him at his house, but Ciel hadn't expected anything to come of that, especially since it had been a while since it had last been mentioned. But now, Sebastian had asked him, and Ciel realized that he was waiting for a reply.

"Yes!" Ciel answered eagerly, then blushed. "I'd been wondering if you would ask."

Sebastian instantly relaxed. "Great. Sounds like a plan." He smiled and leaned back into his chair just as a knock sounded on his door. "Come in." The door opened, and Vincent came in. It was a slight shock to see the man picking Ciel up, but Sebastian supposed it shouldn't be that surprising. Standing, Sebastian moved over to greet Vincent and shake his hand.

Vincent smiled at the doctor. "Hello. I was done with my meeting early, so I decided to swing by and pick Ciel up. How did everything go this weekend?"

"Like every other time," Ciel spoke up, humor lacing his words. It was as if his parents were waiting for something to be different, but the truth was that Ciel had grown more comfortable with the injections. He still hated them, but it was more tolerable now. It helped that Sebastian would offer incentives for Ciel to get through the injections quickly and without much hassle.

"Nothing I should be worrying about?" This time Vincent turned to Sebastian, wanting the doctor's say on the matter. Trust a protective father to ignore his son's assurances.

The concern was waved off, and Sebastian could only smirk. "Everything is fine. If there were anything to worry about, you and your wife would be the first to know." He patted Ciel on the head in a friendly manner, giving no evidence to the extent of Sebastian's relationship with the boy.

Ciel had a hard time keeping a blush from rising to his cheeks; that happened every time the doctor touched him, even if it was an innocent gesture. "See? I think you should trust me a little more, Dad," Ciel replied, looking a bit miffed.

"I would, except you have a habit of keeping things from us, Ciel. You won't talk about your nightmares with us, and you say that everything is fine." Vincent paused for a moment. "Actually, tomorrow you have an appointment with your psychiatrist. She wants to evaluate your progress, since you've changed after beginning these treatments."

Ciel made a face and sighed. "If I have to... I'll see you next weekend, Sebastian," he said with a small smile. A thrill of excitement coursed through him. He could hardly wait for his next visit.

"Goodbye, Ciel," Sebastian said, but a frown had settled over his face. He didn't like the idea of Ciel going to a psychiatrist, but it couldn't be helped. Deciding not to think too much on it, he sighed and got back to work.

Vincent and Ciel continued out of the doctor's office. It was only then that Vincent spoke. "You seem pleased. Did something happen?" He asked as he eyed the almost giddy smile on his son's face.

Ciel shook his head. "No, I'm just glad that I can go home. Being here at the hospital is boring at times." Especially when Sebastian can't stay with me, Ciel mentally added.

"Funny," Vincent said as they began to reach their car. "You normally seem so excited to come here. It's the rides back home that seem to put you in a bad mood. Care to explain that?" A hard look crossed his face, and he looked down at Ciel even though the boy couldn't see him.

Ciel struggled for something to say that would appease his father. "Well, Mom said that we could go out to dinner tonight, and she's actually letting me choose the restaurant. So I'm excited about that. I want pizza."

That seemed to appease Vincent, and he snorted at his son. "I'm beginning to wonder if your body lives off grease." He ruffled Ciel's hair and proceeded to help the boy into the car. "You know your mother is going to force feed you vegetables for the next week after this."

"When doesn't she make me eat vegetables?" Ciel grumbled. "I'm surprised that she lets me eat as many sweets as I do."

"She only does it cause she cares. Although you're thin enough, so something fatty would do you some good." Vincent continued to tease Ciel, loving the disgruntled look he received. It wasn't often that they got one on one time together, not with Vincent's work keeping him away from home more often than not.

Ciel rolled his eyes. "I think I'm fine just the way I am. And when I move out on my own, I'm definitely having pizza at least once every week." Another smile bloomed across his face as he decided that he was going to invite Sebastian for those pizza nights. Perhaps they would go to that restaurant they had first visited a while back.

That declaration only earned Ciel a bemused chuckle. "I do hope whomever you end up with will be sure to keep your health in mind. Otherwise you'll blow up into a whale." Truthfully, Vincent couldn't see Ciel being anything but the lanky young man that he was today. The boy just had a high metabolism.

A blush began to creep across Ciel's cheeks, and he fought desperately to keep it hidden. Yes, Sebastian did have Ciel's best interests at heart when it came to health things. His leg jiggled, unable to keep still from the nervous energy pent up in his body. He was really looking forward to next weekend, but he sobered instantly when he thought about how lacking he was in the knowledge of sexual things.

He didn't want to be left struggling through anything like he had been a few weeks earlier at his house. He wanted to be prepared so that he could pleasure Sebastian and not have to rely on the doctor for help. With determination, Ciel decided that he was going to have to do some research.

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><p>The front door flew open, Rachel stumbling in with her hands full of groceries. She cursed lowly, hoping no one would hear, as she tried to make her way into the kitchen. It had already been a trying day. She was currently putting together a fundraiser for the organization she headed that helped children who faced psychological issues due to abuse. So far they had been having problems securing a venue for the event. On top of that, she'd had to go shopping, knowing there wasn't anything of merit in the house for dinner that night.<p>

Rachel set the bags in the kitchen, leaving them there for the time being. Nothing needed to be refrigerated, so there was no rush. She gave Sebastian a stern look as she moved out of the kitchen, knowing the dog would have loved to snack on the items in the bag. "No," she said when the dog went to sniff the air around the counter. He shied away at the tone in Rachel's voice and she seemed pleased.

Moving into the living room, she stopped short, not expecting to see Ciel lounging on the couch. Usually the boy was held up in his room this time of day. Instead, he was reclined back and listening to his iPod.

"Ciel! I'm home!" Rachel smiled, raising her voice and hoping to be heard over the music being poured into Ciel's ears.

Ciel jerked, his sightless eyes flying over in Rachel's direction. He fumbled with his iPod before turning it off. "H-hey," he said, attempting to sound casual. "Welcome home."

Rachel smiled, but didn't move away from her son. "What are you listening too?" She asked out of simple parental curiosity. Ciel was usually listening to some form of music or an audio book that he couldn't find in braille.

"'A Tale of Two Cities' by Charles Dickens," Ciel said slowly. "I haven't read it before, so I thought it was a good one to start next."

"Really?" Rachel asked, her nose scrunching. "It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times..." Or however it went. She had never been fond of the book, finding it too hard to keep interest in. How Ciel read such novels, she never knew.

"I think its interesting," Ciel replied. "I really like these old novels. I think they're better than today's novels." He squirmed a bit, trying to keep a blush down.

To tell the truth, he was not listening to 'The Tale of Two Cities.' He was in fact listening to one of his mom's romance books.

For a moment Rachel said nothing, before turning her nose up and heading back into the kitchen. "You must take after your father in that, but either way, come help me with the groceries." She moved back to the bags and began unpacking item after item and setting it on the counter.

Ciel followed her, making sure to put his iPod in his pocket so that she couldn't look at it and see what he had really been listening to. He began the task of putting the food away with a sigh. Today was a Monday; he had five more days until he would be at Sebastian's house, and he still had a lot to learn about sex.

He frowned. His mom's books were helping some, but it wasn't the same since the books were about a man and a woman, not a man and a man. Granted, Ciel remembered most of what had happened to him in the Incident, but thinking about that time caused him a lot of distress and panic. It wouldn't help him at all to rely on that information.

The question still remained, how could he possibly learn more about male/male sex? It wasn't like Ciel could go to a library and ask for information. He was well-known, and the librarian would no doubt call his parents and ask why he was interested in that subject. But what else could he do? He couldn't look it up online since he couldn't see, and he didn't know anyone he could ask.

So he stood there in the middle of the kitchen as he pondered his plight, unaware that he was still holding the jug of milk he'd been about to put in the fridge.

A loaf of bread collided with the back of his head. "Snap out of it, Ciel. Put the milk away before it gets hot," his mom lectured and placed the bread in the bread box. "It's not like you to day dream." Some potatoes and vegetables were set off to the side for tonight and Rachel put away some pasta and cans into the pantry.

"Sorry," Ciel apologized, opening the fridge and depositing the milk inside. He could always ask Sebastian, he supposed, but he wanted it to be a surprise that he'd researched sex for their weekend together. Besides, he was still embarrassed that he knew next to nothing of the subject, and Sebastian was a thirty year old man with experience.

That raised another question. Had Sebastian ever had sex with anyone? If so, had his partner been male or female? Ciel cringed to think that perhaps Sebastian would compare him with an old lover, since he knew that he would definitely lose in that regard. He just wasn't sure how to broach the topic with Sebastian.

A throat cleared, and Ciel jerked from his thoughts back to the present. "I'm sorry. I guess my mind is elsewhere," he mumbled and sighed. He would have to continue his plotting later on in the safety and solitude of his room.

"Would you like to share what has your head up in the clouds?" Rachel took the bag of cookies she had bought for Ciel out of his hands and stuck it in the pantry. "I swear, I've never seen you so flighty. Did you not sleep again?" A hand touched at Ciel's forehead as Rachel checked for a fever. Finding none, she withdrew but continued to look on concerned.

Shaking his head, Ciel replied, "I slept just fine. And I guess I'm just anxious about the treatments. I know that Sebastian said that they're working, but what if something happens and they stop working?" It wasn't a whole lie; Ciel had been thinking about that quite a bit lately, though it wasn't the thing on his mind at that moment.

Rachel just shook her head. "If something were to go wrong, I'm sure it would have already happened. Don't worry about it." In truth, Rachel didn't want to think of such things, either, not when she had begun to be optimistic about the whole thing. Even Ciel's moods had been changing for the better. He wasn't that shy and frightened boy he had once been; he was more normal now.

"I suppose so," Ciel said with a small frown. "I just really want it to work. It's been eight years since I was last able to see. I hardly remember what anything looks like anymore. Even you and Dad," he added and patted Seb's head when the dog whined, obviously sensing his master's glum mood.

"You'll see again. I know you will." Ciel was swept up into Rachel's arms and she hugged him close. "Sebastian will see to that. He cares, I know he does. He won't let this fail you."

Yes, Ciel knew that Sebastian cared, but there was only so much the man could do. He was only human, after all, not a miracle worker. But he said nothing more, only nodded and smiled to appease his mother. "He is a good doctor, isn't he?" He tried hard to keep his tone neutral, but admiration was present in his voice.

"That's why we took you to him. He's the best in the business, and the only one who is experimenting with this treatment. Dr. Michaelis is a prodigy, it seems." Rachel had a far away look in her eye, no doubt swooning over the male doctor. There was a faint tint of pink to the woman's cheeks, and she realized her hold on Ciel. "It'll be a shame when you no longer have appointments. He is so nice to look at, too," Rachel giggled and patted Ciel on the shoulder.

Ciel paused, his eyes sliding over to his mom's direction. Jealousy bubbled within him from his mom's words. Of course, she could see Sebastian, and yet Ciel couldn't. "You're married, Mom," he reminded her with a frown.

The pat turned into a light smack. "Yes I'm married, but that doesn't mean I'm blind. I can still look... I just can't touch." Rachel smiled, but then hastily added, "Just don't tell your dad I said that."

Ciel opened his mouth to say something but quickly snapped it shut, his cheeks turning a dull red. He'd almost told his mother that Sebastian was only his to touch. That would have had disastrous results. "Okay, I won't," he replied instead, swallowing the other words.

"That's my good boy." Rachel kissed him on the head and went back to putting the groceries away. Ciel was always funny when it came to her talking about other men, even though she was sure he knew she was kidding. She chalked it up to the sexual connotations making Ciel feel uncomfortable. It often made her fear that a healthy sexual relationship was beyond Ciel, and he would never find a girl to marry and start a family with. The thought tore at her heart, and she could only hope that one day her son would find someone who would understand and take their time to love and heal Ciel.

Ciel sighed. He couldn't wait to be able to see again so that he could finally see what Sebastian looked like. He frowned slightly, trying to figure out what color the doctor's eyes were. Ciel had tried guessing them before, but he hadn't had any success. Excitement thrummed in his veins; after the surgery, he would be able to see Sebastian.

With that thought in mind, Ciel returned to helping Rachel, humming a small tune with a tiny smile on his lips.

The job was finished quickly enough, leaving mother and son to stand in the kitchen with not much else to do. Rachel toyed with the idea of broaching a conversation, but Ciel seemed off in his own world once more. She frowned and shook her head. If she didn't know better, she would have guessed Ciel was in love. He had the airiness to him, as if he was floating on cloud nine but still unsure by how new the feeling was. The thought was pushed quickly away, and Rachel tried to think of more rational explanations.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked once more.

Ciel blinked. "Yeah, I'm fine, Mom. Sorry, I just really do have a lot on my mind. But are we done here? I'd like to get back to my book." He was already planning on escaping to the safety of his room to listen, where he wouldn't have to deal with his mom's questions.

"Fine, fine. Just stop acting like a lovesick girl," Rachel teased. "Otherwise you're going to make me ask who she is." She moved out of the kitchen after that, laughing to herself at a joke only she seemed to know.

Ciel froze, his eyes wide. Was he acting like a lovesick girl? It had never occurred to him that others might be able to pick up on his mood. Had it been so obvious? He bit his lip. His mom thought that he liked a girl, but what would she say if she found out that he liked a man instead? Would she be accepting of it? He wasn't too sure.

His heart plummeted to to his toes, and he tried not to think about it. He realized that he had to keep it a secret now more than ever. With a sinking feeling, he turned and walked slowly to his room to finish the book.

* * *

><p>The phone rung in Sebastian's ear, each chime making his heart beat all the faster. It was nine at night, and the spontaneity of the call was working on his nerves. This was the first time for him to call Ciel outside of professionalism. A part of Sebastian thought that the younger male would not pick up, but a small part of him held hope that Ciel would answer.<p>

It had been far too many days since he had heard Ciel's voice, and Sebastian found himself wanting to hear him. He was unsure of what they would talk about, or what reason Sebastian could give for the call but he cared little. Hopefully Ciel would be happy to hear from the older man; if not, then Sebastian could count his losses.

The phone ceased its ringing as Ciel answered. "Hello?" He knew it was Sebastian calling him since he had programmed the ring tone to be different for Sebastian and not anyone else. His heart beat rapidly and he clutched the phone tightly. Was it a good thing or a bad thing that Sebastian was calling him?

A smile crossed Sebastian's lips, and he sighed in relief into the receiver. "You sound surprised?" He teased, feeling a little more energized now despite the time of night. It was something only Ciel could accomplish.

"Well, you've never called me before on my cell phone," Ciel said slowly. "So I'm not sure what exactly to make of this. Is everything okay?" The fear that Sebastian had decided that Ciel wasn't worth his time anymore kept running through Ciel's mind, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he prepared himself for the worst.

"I missed you," Sebastian said simply, a smirk in his tone. He could already imagine the blush that would bloom upon Ciel's cheeks. A part of him wished he could be there to see it.

A pleased smile and blush spread across Ciel's face. "I missed you, too." Settling back against his pillows, he curled up, the phone still pressed to his ear. "So how was your day?"

Sebastian sighed, not quite wanting to discuss his day. "I had clinic hours for most of the morning. You wouldn't believe the things people come to a doctor for." He shook his head, even though he knew Ciel could not see it. "Had a lady come in with the hiccups. Apparently she had them for over an hour and was beginning to panic." It had been humorous, but unfortunately not at the time. Sebastian wasn't a man who enjoyed having his time wasted.

Ciel tried not to laugh, but it was hard not to. "That's ridiculous. Talk about a waste of time and money. I've heard of several things that can cure hiccups. Eating bananas, drinking water upside down, holding your breath."

"All rubbish really, but water will usually do the trick. If not then all you can do is wait them out." Hiccups were never a pleasant thing, but nothing to seek medical advice about. Perhaps if they go on for more than a day, Sebastian could understand mild panic. "How has your day been? I hope better than mine." The subject was changed, Sebastian not wanting to remember half the bodily functions and fluids he'd had to deal with and examine.

Ciel was silent for a moment, thinking over his day. "It was good. But my mom... She thinks that I like a girl," he spoke quickly, biting his lip as he was unsure what Sebastian would say to that.

There was a quiet snort before Sebastian's voice broke over the receiver. "A girl? Tell me, do I have competition?" It was all said in jest, Sebastian knowing just what Ciel was talking about, but could not resist the urge. "Surely there is some truth behind her assumption."

"I do like someone, but it's not a girl," Ciel said quietly. His grip on the phone tightened. "Sebastian, what do I do? She knows that there's something going on, but she just hasn't figured it all out yet. What happens when she does?"

"She won't," Sebastian assured. He had little doubt that he was wrong. "The last thing your parents are going to think is that you're having an affair with your doctor. If anything, it would be a fellow patient or a friend."

"I guess you're right," Ciel replied. "I just know that they can't find out. It will be bad for you the most, since you're the doctor and not supposed to have relationships with your patients."

It was true, but not something Sebastian wanted to think about. He didn't live his life by what if's, not when he had very little faith that they would happen. In time, Ciel's parents would find out, but it would be under Ciel's and Sebastian's own terms. That would be later, when Ciel was no longer his patient and they were not held to such personal limitations.

"Ciel, hush. I didn't call you to worry about such nonsense," Sebastian said. "Now tell me, are you excited for this weekend?"

"Yes!" Ciel blurted out, then blushed. "Ah, I mean, yeah, I'm excited. I can't wait." He squirmed in his bed, imagining how the wonderful weekend would pass. Sebastian would cook for him, and the two of them would get to know each other better. And there would surely be kisses and hand jobs, as Ciel had learned they were called. Whether anything else would happen, he wasn't sure. Only time would tell if he would be comfortable with more.

Sebastian laughed. It was good to hear such life in Ciel' voice. Often, in times like this, it was hard to believe what a dark past Ciel held. "Oh? And what would you like to do during this weekend together?"

"Umm..." Ciel didn't reply for a while. He didn't want to sound too eager for the sexual things, and he didn't want to let on that he was researching sex. "Talk and kiss would be nice," he said slowly.

"I think that can be managed. Anything else?" Sebastian pushed.

Ciel was positive that his cheeks were now bright red, and his words came out all stilted and rushed. "I was also thinking that maybe we could use your hands, too." Holding his breath, he waited for Sebastian's response.

"My hands?" Sebastian's false confusion coated his voice, making it almost sickly sweet. "What would you use my hands for?" Both knew that Sebastian wasn't so dumb as to be serious, and there was an almost audible stretching of his lips as Sebastian smiled.

An awkward silence stretched for a few minutes as Ciel struggled to find the right words to say. He hadn't been expecting Sebastian to make it so difficult, and needless to say, he was embarrassed about having to say it out loud. "Well, you could touch me with your hands, and I could touch you with my hands." He let out a small groan as he realized just how stupid that had sounded, and he covered his face with his free hand.

The silence was echoed by Sebastian. He couldn't believe Ciel had actually admitted to that. One thing shocked Sebastian all the more, and he felt his body warm at the thought. "You want to touch me?" He asked, not quite believing. "Where?" Because in truth, Ciel would just be asking to touch Sebastian in the almost innocent ways that were more common.

"I want to touch..." Ciel faltered, his blush growing deeper. "Dammit, Sebastian! Please don't make me say it!" He yelped.

Sebastian laughed, hearing Ciel use such language was more adorable than crude. "I won't make you say it," he relented. "But I hardly consider the word 'cock' to be hard to articulate."

Ciel's eyes flew open wide. "S-Sebastian!" He groaned, his face heating up as memories of a few weekends before flashed through his mind. He bit his lip; he must sound like a child right now, unable to say a simple word. It was something that he had stayed away from ever since the Incident, and now he found it hard to think about it, much less say it.

"Did I say something wrong?" Sebastian could just imagine the pretty little blush on Ciel's cheeks. It was such a shame that the boy was not with him now, although it was probably for the better. As it was, Sebastian wasn't confident that he'd be able to keep his hands off of Ciel.

"No, you didn't. I'm just not used to conversations like this. My parents have kept things rated PG since after the Incident because I panicked when something was mentioned. My captors used a lot of crude language to get their point across," Ciel explained slowly. "I never had a reason to use words such as...that," he finished lamely.

Sebastian smiled. "Well then, I'll just have to show you the pleasures of dirty talk." There was humor in his voice, and he was teasing more so than speaking with any serious intent. If Ciel was uncomfortable with such words, then Sebastian would just have to curve his vocabulary.

"Dirty talk?" Ciel repeated. The idea intrigued him more than he would care to admit. Truth be told, Ciel had shied away from any relationships prior to meeting Sebastian, and now, he was not only in a relationship, but he was willing to do things of the sexual nature, things that had once frightened him. "I'm not sure if you're trying to help me with my fear, or if you're just trying to corrupt me even more."

"Well, do you like it?" It was an honest question, one Sebastian was truly curious about. "Does it excite you when we talk like this? Does it turn you on?" Sebastian was pushing, he knew as much, but he wanted to see just how far things could go before he was forced to retreat. It would do little harm, and if Ciel wanted things to end then Sebastian would oblige.

"Maybe a little?" Ciel replied. "I just feel like I'm stupid about this sort of thing. I mean, I do know things, but there's so much I don't know." But I'm learning about it, he added mentally. "I think I'd be willing to try dirty talking, though." Ciel knew that if he was uncomfortable, all he had to do was say so and Sebastian would stop. That was one good thing about the older man. He pushed at the limits, but he always retreated if the actions weren't wanted.

"I'd like that," Sebastian admitted quietly over the phone. Ciel was such a sweet boy, but the idea of hearing such naughty and perverse things coming from that lovely mouth was just far too erotic. It made a pleasant shiver race up his spine.

Ciel smiled. It was good to hear that Sebastian was pleased. He didn't want the red-eyed male to become bored with the way that things were, and so Ciel tried to stretch his comfort level at a pace that was satisfying to both of them. "So when did you want to start?"

It was tempting to start things now, but Sebastian foresaw things becoming sticky if they allowed this to progress. Even with that in mind, he couldn't help by being tempted by it. "We could start now, and you can tell me exactly what you want to do this weekend. I'd appreciate it if you could be as detailed as possible." An evil smirk split Sebastian's face, and he imagined Ciel turning ten shades of red.

"Why do I have to go first?" Ciel protested. "I'm new to this. Don't you think that you should start so that I have an example to follow?" His voice cracked, betraying how nervous he was, and he swallowed hard. He had no idea where or how to begin. "I know that I want to kiss you, and I want to touch your skin again. And oh, God. This is kind of embarrassing," he whispered, cheeks flushed as he told of his desires.

There was no denying that Sebastian found the whole situation cute. It was good too see Ciel genuinely embarrassed about the situation and not terrified of it. There was hope that Ciel would soon find himself completely at ease with their alone eased Sebastian's mind.

"You're doing fine," he urged. "I want to kiss you too, every inch of your body until you're flushed and wanting for more. Would you like that?"

"Yes. I like it when you touch and kiss me. It makes me feel like I'm wanted." Ciel closed his eyes, imagining Sebastian's hands and lips on his body. He frowned. Sebastian had never kissed him aside from his face and neck. That would have to be remedied this weekend, he decided.

Sebastian was glad to hear that. "I want you," he said. "I want you so much." Inside his room, Sebastian walked towards his dresser, pulling out a pair of sleep pants. It was getting late and right now he just wanted to curl into bed and listen to Ciel's voice filtering over the phone.

A thrill of pleasure coursed through Ciel's body as his mind registered what Sebastian had said. A huge grin spread over his lips. "I want you to kiss me this weekend. And not just on my lips. I-I want you to kiss my neck and my chest, and anywhere else I feel comfortable with."

"I'll kiss you anywhere you desire. All you have to do is ask." The phone was momentarily drawn from Sebastian's ear as he removed his shirt. Cool air prickled his skin and he shivered. Next his slacks were discarded, replaced by his pajamas. It was nice to be out of such constricting clothes, and Sebastian wasted no time slipping into bed.

"And what about you? What do you want to do this weekend?" Ciel questioned, burrowing under the covers and stretching. It felt good to relax; he'd been on edge ever since his conversation with his mother earlier in the day.

The question was skillfully cast to the side and avoided. "This is about what you want. All I want is to have you here in my house, and if you are willing, to have you in my bed as well."

Ciel's heart pounded loudly in his ears, and he nearly stopped breathing. What Sebastian had said reminded him of a line that had been in one of his mother's audio romance novels. He gulped. "You mean you want to...have sex with me?"

Sebastian almost choked. Yes, he would very much love to have Ciel in such a way, but that wasn't what he had meant. He swallowed, liking the spark of arousal that stirred at the thought. "I want to have sex with you," he started out carefully, "but not before you are ready."

Ciel let out a relieved breath. That was one thing he definitely wasn't ready for, and he wasn't sure how long it would be until he felt comfortable with sex. All he knew was that it hurt, and he didn't like it. "Thank you," he whispered. "You're really doing everything you can to make this easy for me, and I appreciate it."

"If it means keeping you with me, then I am happy to do it." Sebastian turned over in his bed to lay on his side. The clock on his bedside table flashed, but he ignored the time. He had the morning off, and would be able to sleep in. It wasn't as if he was in a hurry to fall asleep.

A warm feeling, though unfamiliar, spread through Ciel. He couldn't imagine anyone better to have a relationship with. He doubted that there were others in this world who were just as kind and caring as Sebastian.

A yawn escaped unbidden, and he tried to cover it with his hand, shaking his head as if to chase the sleep away. "I would like to sleep by you again. It was nice when we did that in the hospital that one night."

"Then you may lay with me for as long as you like." It was unfortunate that Ciel could not be here now, wrapped in Sebastian's arms. He already was looking forward to this weekend, wanting nothing more than to have Ciel here in the flesh.

"I could stay in your arms all day," Ciel declared firmly. He loved the feeling of Sebastian's strong arms entwined around his body. He felt safe and comforted, which was something since he usually shunned any physical contact. It seemed as though Sebastian was definitely changing Ciel's view of intimacy, even if only a little bit at a time.

A long tired and content sigh left Sebastian. "And I could have you in my arms all day, and preferably all night as well." He paused, a small smile slipping onto his face. "Although I might be tempted to sample your neck, and perhaps your lips as well."

"I don't mind," Ciel answered shyly. "I like it when you kiss me." It felt strange to be saying these things out loud, but he couldn't help himself. He enjoyed his time with Sebastian, and he wanted the older man to know that.

"And will you kiss me?" Sebastian inquired, wondering just how far Ciel was willing to go. "Will you kiss me where I want to kiss you?"

"That depends on where that is," Ciel said slowly. "I'm not sure. I could give you an answer now, but it might change by the weekend, depending on how brave I'm feeling."

Sebastian chuckled tiredly, and smiled into his pillow. "No rush, dear. I'm only teasing you," he said, and turned to lie on his back within his bed. When on the phone with Ciel like this, it was easy to forget that the boy wasn't lying here in bed with him.

Ciel's face flushed. "Oh." He paused, deliberating what to say. "I have kissed you in several places before, though I think you're talking about someplace entirely different." He bit his lip then and knew that he had most likely said too much.

"What places are you thinking about kissing on me then?" Sebastian continued to tease, his smirk apparent in his voice. He was almost sure that Ciel would end up making him pay for this the next time they saw one another. Fortunately it was all worth it, and so much more.

Ciel sputtered, unable to form a coherent sentence. A red blush painted his cheeks once more, and he wished that he could disappear into the mattress. "I... I'm not sure," he hedged. "And I think you're just asking these questions to embarrass me because you think it's fun." The words were spoken without any bite, as he knew that was exactly what Sebastian was doing.

Sebastian laughed. "Of course! I can just imagine that pretty little blush on your face." It was always the softest of pinks but vibrant nonetheless. Ciel's cheeks often reminded him of the pink pads of a kitten's paw, and they were just as soft.

A slight huff came over the phone, but Ciel couldn't find it in himself to be mad at Sebastian for long. Truth be told, he actually enjoyed the attention to an extent. He felt important and wanted whenever Sebastian teased him. "I'm sure." A yawn escaped his lips, though he tried to hold it back.

"Are you tired?" Sebastian asked, feeling the tug of sleep. He didn't want to dismiss Ciel just yet, not when it seemed as if they had only begun to talk. A week was too long and even with the approaching weekend, it still felt like it would be forever until he had Ciel with him once more. It didn't help that this conversation had piked Sebastian's interest and left him somewhat hot and aroused with the thoughts of what the weekend would bring.

"Yeah, I am. I was up early today," Ciel replied, rubbing his eyes. "I've had a lot of things on my mind recently, but I don't want to talk about it yet. Just some stuff that I need to work out."

There was a pause before Sebastian's voice whispered worriedly over the phone. "Are you okay?" He asked, eyes just a little bit more open and awake. Sebastian hoped that it wasn't more nightmares plaguing him, for there was little he could do about them, especially with being so far away.

"I'm okay," Ciel replied. "I know that you probably want me to tell you, but I assure you, it's nothing too serious. If it were, I would definitely tell you."

"Good," Sebastian said, sounding pleased. "You know you can tell me anything. I won't judge you on it." It was assuring, and Sebastian hoped Ciel would see it as such. He yawned once more, and felt his eyes drooping back into slits. The clock flashed but Sebastian was too tired to bother to look. He knew well enough that it was late. They should both be getting to bed. Now if only he could bring himself to let Ciel go.

"Stay on the line until I fall asleep? Please?" Ciel requested sleepily, laying down and pulling the covers up to his chin.

"You know we'll just end up falling asleep on our phones again." It wasn't a bad thing, but it seemed to humor Sebastian in some way. Perhaps it was because it was the sort of something that you saw lovers doing in sappy chick flicks. Sebastian never saw himself as a sappy or overly romantic sort of man, but Ciel seemed determined to prove that wrong. It didn't help that Sebastian couldn't say no.

"That's all we have until this weekend," Ciel reminded him, a drowsy smile on his face. "And it may be kind of creepy, but I like falling asleep to the sound of your breathing."

"Oh that is very creepy," but there was a smile amongst Sebastian's words. "Although I think I find it more endearing than creepy to tell you the truth." The phone was resituated carefully, getting it into a more comfortable position. It they were going to make a night of this, then he ought as well get comfortable.

Smiling once more, Ciel snuggled further under the covers. "Good." A moment of silence, and then he mumbled, "Sebastian? Can we have pizza and cookies this weekend?"

A sharp burst of breath was heard as Sebastian tried not to laugh. "You're going to get fat," he said. "Maybe some cookies, but you can do without the pizza." A line had to be drawn somewhere, and the boy really need to find a better diet for himself. Pizza would do little in the health area, and Sebastian wasn't about to allow Ciel to take himself down a path towards high cholesterol.

"You sound like my mom," Ciel grumbled. "But I guess cookies are better than nothing." He rubbed his eyes, a yawn escaping once more.

"I owe you creme brulee as well." Sebastian had almost forgotten that promise. He supposed cookies one day and the creme brulee the next. It was a good reason for him to try out his torch. "But for meals, you'll be eating healthy. That means vegetables."

"Just so long as it's not carrots. I hate them." Ciel's eyelids drooped, and his words came out slower as sleep began to overtake him.

It amazed Sebastian at times, just how much Ciel acted like a child. Sebastian wondered how he must have been babied and sheltered throughout his life to cause such an immaturity. There was still a maturity to Ciel that shined forth when needed, but more often than not Sebastian felt Ciel was many years younger than he actually was.

"You should sleep," Sebastian finally said after a moment, knowing that the boy needed his rest.

"Yeah," Ciel replied. "I'll see you this weekend, then. Good night, Sebastian."

"Goodnight."

* * *

><p>Ciel squirmed on his bed, feeling slightly uncomfortable. He adjusted the headphones so he could hear better. He was currently listening to an audio book he had found online. It was a romance novel, with one difference to his mother's books. This was a male and male romance book.<p>

However, when Ciel had begun to listen to it, he hadn't expected it to affect him so much. It was easy for him to place Sebastian and himself into the story, especially since he and the doctor had done most of the things mentioned. But there were some things, one in particular, that they had not done.

It was that that Ciel was most worried about, and thus why he was interested in learning more about it. Of course, he did have some experience with sex, if one could call being raped experience. That had been a terrifying event, though, and he didn't know what to do when he actually wanted to have sex, so research was desperately needed.

The more he listened, the more he understood. While his mother's audio romance novels had helped somewhat, they hadn't fully answered his questions since he was interested in a man, not a woman. He found himself intrigued as the story developed, and he couldn't pull himself away, even though it was slightly embarrassing to listen to. He just had to keep reminding himself that it was for a good cause. He wanted to be prepared for the upcoming weekend with Sebastian.

The knock on the door went ignored, Ciel too engaged in what he was listening to. Once more the knock came before the knob turned, and the door pushed open to reveal Rachel, a laundry basket propped on her hip. She smiled at the sight of her son looking so content as he sat in his bed. The look she gave him was that of a look a mother gave her child, all warm and filled with love.

"Ciel," she called, a little louder than she would normally.

Ciel looked up, startled. "M-Mom. What do you need?" He asked and fumbled with his iPod, trying to turn it off. He was nervous, and he couldn't get his fingers to hit the right button. Finally, he just set it beside him, turning his attention to Rachel and hoping that she wouldn't catch on to how strangely he was behaving.

Rachel just smiled, seemingly oblivious to Ciel's panic. "What're you listening to this time?" It was a typical question. No one ever really knew what book Ciel was now drowning himself in or if he was simply listening to music. She came fully into the room and set the basket down on Ciel's desk chair and regarded the boy with affection.

"'The Adventures of Oliver Twist,'" Ciel said slowly. His fingers twitched towards his iPod, and he had to force himself to act natural. He still had one earbud in his ear, half-listening to the story while the rest of his attention was directed at his mom.

"Well then, I'll leave you to that. I just came in to collect your laundry." Rachel went about gathering shirts, pants, and other such things that littered the floor. She clicked her tongue and looked up at Ciel. "You really need to stop just throwing your clothes wherever you want."

"Sorry," Ciel mumbled, looking a bit sheepish. "I'll try to do better." He listened to the sounds of his mom scouring the room for anymore clothes that had been tossed haphazardly on the floor. He stiffened then, realizing that she wouldn't rest until every inch had been inspected. His thoughts flew to what he had hidden underneath his bed, and he hoped that she would just leave well enough alone and discontinue the search.

It was far too late as Rachel dropped to her knees and exclaimed, "You even had stuff shoved under your bed. It boggles me how you managed that." She reached under the bed frame and tried to hook her fingers around what looked like pajamas.

Ciel cringed, knowing that it was now only a matter of time until she began questioning him about the stained articles of clothing she would no doubt find. His mind worked furiously to come up with an excuse, since telling her that he had been dry humping with his doctor would certainly not bode well. "Maybe it got shoved under there when Seb and I were playing." He nearly snorted with glee as he realized that in a way, he had told his mother the truth.

Rachel said nothing for a moment, eyeing the pieces of clothing as she separated them out and put them in the basket. The stains did not go unnoticed, but no questions were asked over what they could be. Rachel might have been a woman, but she was also a mother, and as such was well aware of certain things when it came to raising a son.

But Rachel also knew how different her son was in other ways. What she had found was something that she had never expected to see from Ciel. Boys had such urges, and there was nothing wrong with that, but Ciel had never shown any interest in such things. Especially since what had happened to Ciel all those years ago. Rachel couldn't help but wonder what had caused such a change and if Ciel was alright. Now she knew why the pajamas had been shoved under the bed.

If she remembered correctly, and Rachel prided herself on her memory, they were a pair of Ciel's favorite sleep pants and shirt. Curiosity getting the best of Rachel, she couldn't help but ask, "When was the last time you wore these? They're your favorite aren't they?" She tried to make it seem as if she hadn't discovered Ciel's little secret.

"A few weeks ago," Ciel mumbled, keeping his head down so his mom couldn't see the slight tint of red shading his cheeks. They were indeed his favorite pajamas, and that was why he had worn them when Sebastian had stayed the weekend. He shifted on the bed uncomfortably, biting his lip. The audio novel was still playing, and it made it hard for him to concentrate on what his mom was saying, especially since the scene now playing was similar to what he and Sebastian had done.

Rachel hummed, trying to remember a date. Nothing unusual had happened in the past month except... She frowned deeply, suddenly remembering when it was she had last seen Ciel wearing the pajamas in question. How could she forget when Ciel had been wearing them for over a day after his episode the night before they had asked Sebastian to stay the weekend. She was so sure Ciel had been wearing them the night Sebastian had slept in this very room, and suddenly Rachel felt tense with worry. Quickly she tried to think of another night in which Ciel might have worn them, but could not dig up such a time.

"Ciel," Rachel spoke slowly. "Why don't you come help me with the laundry?" The sudden need to have her son safely by her side was strong. Having Ciel near her would enable Rachel to keep a close eye on him, and try to gage if her fears were ill placed and this was all just an innocent part of boyhood and nothing from a malicious second party. She could only hope for the best.

Ciel tilted his head, confused by the request. He wasn't really in the mood to be around other people, and he was apprehensive about what their conversation might entail. However, if he refused, his mom would most likely press him for answers. It would be better in the long run if he just agreed.

"Okay," he replied, turning off his iPod and removing the headphones. He slid off his bed and followed Rachel through the house, arriving at the room where the washer was located. A slight taste of copper arose in his mouth, and Ciel realized that he'd been unconsciously biting his lip this whole time. He knew that he had to calm down; otherwise, his mom would know that there was something wrong, and then the questions would really start.

"I feel like we haven't been spending much time together as of late," Rachel began as she turned on the washer and watched it fill with water before metering out the proper amount of detergent. "I'm ashamed to say that I don't know much of what's been going on in your life. Not knowing my son makes me a bad mother." She laughed and ruffled Ciel's hair. "How have things been?"

And there it was: the subtle prying into his life. In previous times, Ciel wouldn't be hesitant to answer, but now he had something to hide. He didn't want to lie to his parents, but if there was no other way, then he would do it. For now, he would just try to make sure that he controlled the conversation. To do that, he would have to give out some information to appease her curiosity.

"Pretty good, I guess. I've been thinking about the future a lot recently," Ciel said nonchalantly as he leaned against the wall and folded his arms.

"Your future?" Rachel questioned, now more than a little interested. It wasn't often that Ciel thought or talked of such things, let alone willingly brought it up with either herself or Vincent. "What about your future?"

Ciel shrugged. "Like what I want to do when I get my sight back. More opportunities will be available. I can go to college and get a job. I could be a chef, or a lawyer, or I could even take over Funtom Company when Dad retires."

Rachel smiled. "Is that what you want?" Truthfully she couldn't see Ciel being completely happy being cooped up in an office building, although she would not argue college. Going to college would be a good experience for Ciel and allow him to flow back into society. It was almost refreshing to have Ciel so much more carefree and daring to suggest such things. There was no denying that Ciel had changed, but in good ways. The hints of, dare she say, sexual abuse weren't there. Ciel was not drawing more into himself. On the contrary, he was pushing himself back into the world. Unfortunately, that continued to leave Rachel with questions.

A frown crossed Ciel's face. "I'm not sure. To be honest, this is the first time I've thought about my future in who knows how long. Sure, I dreamed of my future after I lost my sight, but as time went on, I just became more discouraged and gave up hope of ever having a good future. But now I have another chance." He squirmed slightly, not used to giving out so much of his personal thoughts. Hell, he'd hardly told his psychiatrist any of that, and she'd been paid to listen to his problems and help him through the difficult times. To think that he was actually talking to his mom about it made Ciel feel uneasy, since he didn't know how she would respond.

"It's good to think about all of this now," Rachel said as she dumped in some clothes. "But you always had a future, whether you have you sight or not. The possibility of getting your sight back didn't change that, although I do believe your outlook on life has changed. You look... happier." She smiled and patted Ciel on the head. "What's given you reason to smile again?"

Sebastian. That was the answer that Ciel wanted to give, but he held his tongue. "I think," he began slowly, "that it's the treatments. I'm facing my past fears, especially with the injections." Here his fingers rubbed his upper arms gently, where the needles during his imprisonment had been injected. "I'm learning how to overcome my fears and deal with my problems. Before, I was always running away from them, but lately I haven't done that. I'm not Faust anymore." The last sentence was spoken with a soft smile as he thought of Sebastian telling him not to give in to his fears.

Rachel gave him a quizzical look. "Faust?" she asked, not knowing where the book came into all of this. Despite her often busy schedule, Rachel was well read and knew of the legend of Faust. She was just unsure how it had all tied in with Ciel.

"Well, Faust ran from his problems, and he let them control him. I used to be that way, but I'm getting better now," Ciel explained. "I'm nineteen, Mom. I think it's time for me to stop acting like a scared child and move on with my life instead of living in the past."

"I'm glad." The rest of the clothes were loaded, and Rachel leaned over to press a kiss to Ciel's cheek. She laughed when he jumped, and once more she patted him on the head despite him being slightly taller.

A genuine smile was given to Rachel, and Ciel felt a weight lift from his shoulders. It wasn't often that he actually confided in someone, and he now realized that doing so made him feel better. However, that didn't mean that he was going to spill all his thoughts and secrets. His relationship with Sebastian was his biggest secret yet, and to have that be exposed would cause trouble for the doctor.

A small shiver of anticipation coursed through Ciel's body as he thought about the coming weekend he would be spending with the man. He could hardly wait, although part of him was still nervous about what kind of sexual things they would be trying. His thoughts returned to the audio novel he'd been listening to, and suddenly he wanted to immerse himself in the story once more.

"Are we done, Mom?" He asked, tilting his head.

"You can go." Rachel relaxed a bit, some of her sudden suspicions put to rest, but she would be vigilant. Something was going on with Ciel to cause this change, and no matter how innocent it might be, Rachel still wanted to put every fear to rest. Until then, she would watch.


	14. Chapter 14

And we're back with another chapter! My God... How long has it been? D8 Akiru Chan and I want to thank you for your patience and understanding. We appreciate and love all our readers! I'm not sure when the next chapter will be posted, as it has yet to be started. But never fear: we intend to finish this story for you all!

Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the other Kuroshitsuji characters.

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><p>Ciel waited impatiently for his father to park the car, and it took all of his willpower to not bound out of the car towards the hospital doors. Somewhere, Sebastian was waiting for him, and after Ciel's father left, the two of them would go to the doctor's house for the weekend. Ciel smiled, remembering the phone conversation he'd had with the older man the night before.<p>

Sebastian had worked it out so that the hospital staff believed that he was again going to the Phantomhive residence for Ciel's treatments, and Ciel's parents believed that he was staying at the hospital. All in all, it was a good plan, and Ciel was relieved that the weekend was finally here.

When they reached the desired floor, Sebastian was standing outside the office waiting for them. He smiled kindly and walked towards them before Vincent could lead Ciel any further down the hall. "We're going to head over to radiology before I let you settle down," Sebastian said to Ciel in form of greeting. "The tech has a prior appointment and needs to leave as soon as he's able, so I want you to get a MRI before they close down the radiology lab for the weekend." It was a good lie, Sebastian thought. He didn't need Ciel coming into his office for Mey-rin or Bard to see him and question the story Sebastian had prepared.

Ciel nodded. "Okay. Let's go, then." He turned towards his dad and gave him a smile. "I'll see you on Sunday."

"Yes. Have fun, and don't cause too much trouble," Vincent said jokingly with a smile. He knew that Ciel was well-mannered and rarely was the source of too much trouble. He shook Sebastian's hand goodbye and, with a wave, he was down the hallway and heading towards the elevator.

Ciel's heart beat loud and fast, and he wondered if Sebastian could hear it. He could feel his cheeks burning, and he carefully kept his gaze from Sebastian. He didn't need the older man teasing him, although he was sure that Sebastian knew he was blushing. "Um, hi."

"Ready?" Sebastian said simply as he retrieved his bag from around a corner, having hidden it from Vincent's sight. "I parked in the Emergency Room parking lot on the other side of the main building. I figured that it's less likely that we'll be seen by anyone there who would recognize us." The faculty of Sebastian's building parked close and in the area designated for that building. They would not bother parking so far away when they would only have a long walk ahead of them, nor would there be a chance of Vincent spotting them as he left.

"Sounds like a smart idea." Ciel's grip tightened on his bag while his other hand held onto Sebastian's sleeve so that he could follow the older man without running into anything, since he had managed to convince his parents that he would be just fine without Seb's help. As much as he loved Seb, it would only be a nuisance if he had come along, as well. Plus, he could tell that Sebastian wasn't too keen on having the animal around him.

Soon, the two of them were inside the elevator, and Ciel seized the opportunity and leaned against the doctor. "I could hardly wait for today to come," he confessed somewhat shyly.

An arm pulled Ciel closer, and Sebastian swooped down to claim a deep kiss. It was over as soon as the elevator dinged, and the doors opened to reveal the two men looking proper despite the want that was flowing rapidly through their bodies. Sebastian stepped out, finding it important that they got to his car in record time.

"Come on," he called out to Ciel, who picked up the pace next to him. Sebastian didn't mean to rush the boy, but it was all for the better. The sooner they got to his car, the sooner the risk of being caught ended. There was still the possibility that Bard or Mey-rin had snuck out to grab dinner at the cafeteria without Sebastian's knowledge. It would ruin everything if Sebastian and Ciel were caught now.

Ciel seemed to understand the sense of urgency, and he quickened his pace. Adrenaline flooded his veins as his excitement and apprehension mounted. Luckily, they managed to make it to the Emergency Room parking lot without detection, but it wasn't until they were both safely inside of Sebastian's car that they allowed themselves to relax.

Ciel smiled at the older man. "I think we're home free now." He settled his bag by his feet; it was a backpack in which he had packed the necessary items that he usually took with him to the hospital, save for his iPod. He had decided that he wouldn't need it this weekend and had left it lying on his dresser back home.

The car started and Sebastian took off, maneuvering through the parking lot and merging onto the main road. Due to convenience, he had bought a small flat in one of the suburbs that surrounded the hospital. It made the commute time short and allowed him to sleep in just a bit longer in the mornings.

"We should be safe now, and it won't take us long before we get to my place. I don't live too far away," Sebastian explained as he came to a stop at a red light.

Ciel bit his lip in an effort to keep his grin from widening. He was really anxious by now, and he wished that they could just hurry up and get there. He carefully reached a hand out and managed to find Sebastian's leg, and he rested his hand there. "So what are the plans for today?"

The warmth of Ciel's hand was comforting, and Sebastian found himself smirking. It was nice to have the boy touching him so freely. "I'm not too sure. I thought we'd play it by ear, unless you have something particular in mind." The amusement was clear in Sebastian's voice, and he reached down with his right hand to grasp onto Ciel's, threading their fingers together.

Lightly squeezing his hand, Ciel pursed his lips. "I'm not sure," he said slowly. Truth be told, he was eager to be held in Sebastian's arms and touch each other, but admitting that to the doctor was embarrassing. Still, he couldn't help but flush slightly at the thought, and he quickly turned his head to stare vacantly out the window.

Soon enough Sebastian was pulling into the drive of his small two bedroom house. It was modest but nicely presented through the curb appeal, thanks to having spent a good penny on a professional landscaper. The car was put into park, and he patted Ciel on the thigh and smiled down at him.

"We're here," Sebastian said, feeling his own excitement for the weekend begin to grow.

For just a moment, Ciel felt the stirrings of panic deep within him, and he wondered what the hell he was doing, staying at an older man's house for a few days without his parents' consent. He closed his eyes and willed the fear to go away. He would not ruin this weekend by having anxiety attacks. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Sebastian with a smile. "Shall we go inside, then?"

"We shall." Sebastian moved around the car and helped Ciel out before gathering their bags. He then took Ciel's hand and led him carefully up the drive. The stairs to the door were taken slowly, and it was only once they were at the door that Sebastian released Ciel in order to open the door to his home.

It was silly, but Sebastian was nervous as to what Ciel would think of his house. Ciel could not see, but the boy's opinion meant so much despite that. Sebastian held the door open and helped Ciel inside and closed the door with a snap behind him.

Ciel stood there with an uncertain look on his face. Having never been to Sebastian's house before, he had no idea what the layout of the rooms were. He was grateful that he had at least brought his cane. That would be of some use to him, and Ciel was sure that Sebastian would be willing to walk him through the place so he could become acquainted with his surroundings.

"Maybe a tour of your house is in order first," Ciel suggested, stretching out a hand to find the older man. After having gone a week without being able to touch him, Ciel couldn't get enough of the older man.

The hand was caught quickly, and Sebastian pulled Ciel to himself. "A tour would probably be helpful, although I do enjoy having you cling to me," Sebastian teased and kissed Ciel lightly on the lips.

Ciel grinned. "I think you'd get tired of having to lead me around all the time, but I wouldn't complain." He frowned thoughtfully and cocked his head. "Although when we first met and discovered that you had the same name as my dog, didn't you say that I would soon have you sitting, begging, and coming like a dog?" A mischievous smirk played on his lips, and his eyes glittered deviously.

"I believe I did." Sebastian smirked and pressed closer to Ciel. "You sure have me coming a lot." The statement was rather crude, but he didn't care much. He enjoyed being able to speak in such a way with Ciel without having the boy draw back out of fear of the situation. It was amazing to see the sudden improvement in the boy. He was no longer a scared kitten, but finally becoming the man he really was.

"I guess I do." The comment slipped from his lips before he could stop it, and Ciel's cheeks reddened as he ducked his head. There had been a time before when he wouldn't have known what Sebastian was really implying, but ever since he had researched sex, he'd discovered several things he'd never known before. But just because he had the information didn't mean that he was any less embarrassed, and it didn't help that now Sebastian might be able to guess that Ciel was more knowledgeable about the subject.

Sebastian could only smile. "Indeed, although I quite enjoy it." He really couldn't help himself. Ciel looked far too desirable with a dusting of a blush upon his cheeks. The boy really was too irresistible.

"I do, too." Ciel replied then buried his face in the doctor's chest. He really needed to get his thoughts under control lest he say something even more embarrassing. "Sorry. I keep sticking my foot in my mouth today." And it's all because of you, Ciel thought.

"No worries, but I do think we should get to that tour before we get side tracked and I end up ravishing you here in the entry," Sebastian said, and pulled Ciel away while still keeping a tight hold of his hand. There would be plenty of time for more sensual activities later in the day. For now, it was best to get Ciel comfortable with his new surroundings.

"Okay." For the next few minutes, Ciel listened carefully while Sebastian explained where everything was. He counted steps, measuring the distance between certain things. He had no doubt that he would end up running into something at least once, but he still did that at home sometimes, especially if someone had moved an object and hadn't told him.

"Sounds like you've got a nice house," Ciel said after the tour had ended back in the living room. Cautiously, he made his way to the couch and sat down.

"It's nice enough." Sebastian joined Ciel and reclined back for a moment to rest before getting a start on dinner. He had decided to prepare a simple fettucini alfredo with beef tips, alongside some sauteed fresh green beans. Hopefully Ciel would enjoy it despite not being overly unhealthy.

Leaning against Sebastian, Ciel let out a contented sigh. The atmosphere here was so much more relaxed than at the hospital, and it was made even better since there was little risk of them being caught. Turning his head slightly, he brushed his lips against the red-eyed man's neck. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Thank you for coming." Sebastian leaned down and kissed Ciel on the cheek. He could feel the heat of the blush against his lips, but that made it all the more enjoyable to Sebastian. This was Ciel, and the innocent embarrassment was a part of him and it endeared him to Sebastian. He could already tell that this would be a good weekend.

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><p>The rest of the day passed by rather quickly and smoothly. The two of them enjoyed themselves as they talked and laughed and teased, getting to know each other better. Ciel discovered how good of a chef Sebastian really was, and he couldn't help but rave about the doctor's cooking.<p>

After dinner, they curled up together on the couch, slow kisses and soft touches being exchanged amid conversation. Now it was nearing 9:30, and Ciel could feel drowsiness begin to fall over him. He'd hardly been able to sleep the night before due to excitement about going to Sebastian's. He'd finally fallen asleep around two in the morning, and then had woken up almost five hours later. Ciel was reluctant to admit he was tired, however; he was having too much fun being with Sebastian.

A gentle hand rubbed sensual circles at Ciel's hip, and Sebastian buried his face into Ciel's hair, breathing in the sweet scent. It was soothing just laying on the couch like this. The television was turned off, and the only light came from the warm glow of a lamp sitting in the corner. Sebastian almost dared to call it romantic, and the only way it could get better was if it were winter and they were snuggled under a thick blanket by the fire.

Ciel's eyes were closed as he relaxed. Lying here in Sebastian's arms was soothing, and he couldn't remember the last time he had felt comfortable and at ease. With a soft sigh, he snuggled closer to Sebastian and laid his head in the crook of the older man's neck. His tongue flicked out slightly to lick at the skin there, before Ciel wondered if that action had ruined the peaceful moment.

The action caused a shiver to run through Sebastian's body, sending pleasant tingles to prickle his skin. Garnet eyes turned to looked down at Ciel, a small smile playing across Sebastian's lips. "What do you think you're doing?" He asked, almost teasingly.

A pretty blush swept across Ciel's face. "Tasting you?" He offered slowly, feeling as though it were a weak attempt at explaining himself.

"And what do I taste like?" Sebastian continued to watch the boy with keen eyes. What he wouldn't do to have that tongue and mouth on him once more. It was almost heavenly.

"You taste almost like dark chocolate," Ciel decided before sampling another small patch of skin. "Which is good, because I like chocolate."

Sebastian smirk. "Well in that case, sample away." His neck was exposed for better access, and he waited for Ciel to take the invitation. Hands splayed across Ciel's back and pulled the boy closer as Sebastian moved them so that he laid across the length of the couch with Ciel on top of him.

A pink tongue once again licked carefully at the soft skin, and Ciel eagerly pressed closer to the doctor. He trailed his tongue across Sebastian's chin to his lips, where it invaded the older man's mouth. Moaning softly into the kiss, his hands gripped Sebastian's shirt as if to keep him there.

Someone seemed rather eager, and it surprised Sebastian at how bold Ciel was becoming. He was no longer the shy boy that had walked into Sebastian's office so long ago, but instead he was becoming the confident man that Ciel was meant to be. It made Sebastian smile and press into the kiss, loving the feel of those tempting lips.

"I love it when you're like this," Sebastian said, pulling back to look at Ciel's clear blue eyes. It was often hard to believe that Ciel was indeed blind when his eyes seemed so alight with life.

Pink tinged Ciel's cheeks, but he refused to avert his gaze. "I'm just more confident, I guess." He gave a peck to Sebastian's lips and smiled before burying his face in the older man's neck. A tongue once again licked at his neck, and Ciel shifted slightly to get into a more comfortable position. Or so he wanted Sebastian to think, when in reality, he had done it on purpose. Ciel bit his lip, trying to hold back a smirk.

"Why don't you show me just how confident you have gotten," Sebastian challenged, lying back and dropping his hands from Ciel's body. He would let the boy have his free rein and Sebastian would see just how far his little lover was willing to go. This would be interesting, he mused, a smirk stretching upon his handsome face.

Ciel chewed on the inside of his lip for a few seconds, then nodded. "Okay." Leaning down, he connected their lips and pushed his tongue into Sebastian's mouth. Fingers began to undo the older man's shirt, pushing the buttons from the small holes before exploring the skin that had been hidden underneath.

As Ciel kissed him, Sebastian allowed the younger male to set the pace. He enjoyed the tentative feel of warm fingers upon his chest, sliding and scraping in all the right ways. Ciel had come a long way, and it was evident that he was no longer the innocent child he had once pretended to be. There was no longer hesitation in his touch, nor in his kiss. Confidence was there, and it made Sebastian moan as a slick tongue pushed inside his mouth, deepening the kiss.

Due to Ciel's wiggling from a few moments before, it took only a little finagling to press their cocks together, and Ciel let out a pleased moan. His lips trailed down the column of Sebastian's neck to his ear, and he licked and sucked at the skin there, forming small purple bruises. Fingertips danced lightly across Sebastian's chest, only stopping to rub a hardened nub before continuing on.

It was hard not to grab at Ciel's ass and press the younger man's body firmer into Sebastian's own. "You really know how to roll your hips," Sebastian commented, thrusting his own hips up and gasping at every pleasurable contact.

A pleased smile and slight blush were Ciel's only response, and he buried his face in the crook of the doctor's neck. He inhaled the scent of old spice, the fragrance filling his senses. He was content for a time to just lie there, almost lazily rolling his hips down. His lips pressed a kiss behind Sebastian's ear, then he dragged his teeth gently down the earlobe.

Ciel knew what he could do next, but despite his bravado, he was still a little anxious. He'd been fine the last time, but who was to say that the memories wouldn't come rushing back at him full force this time? A slight frown crossed Ciel's face. No, he couldn't dwell on the past. He'd told Sebastian that he'd gained confidence, and now he had to prove those words were true. He couldn't be Faust anymore. So with a deep breath, Ciel's hand slid down past Sebastian's waistband to palm his hardening erection.

Sebastian gasped, and his eyes snapped open. "Ciel," he breathed, watching as the boy worked his cock, pre-cum beading at the tip. Honestly, he had not expected Ciel to dare touch him in such a way. It had happened once, but Sebastian had told himself not to expect it to happen again anytime soon. But here he lay, Ciel's hand firmly wrapped around his aching arousal. It felt so damn good, but Sebastian held himself in check, making sure he didn't thrust too enthusiastically into the hand, lest he scare Ciel away.

Ciel was pleased with the small sounds that Sebastian was making. From information he'd gleaned while researching and the experience he'd had with the red-eyed male, he had a pretty good idea of what to do. Ciel had actually wanted to test it on himself, but his dad had almost walked in on him, so Ciel had quickly done away with that thought.

His finger dipped into the slit, smearing the pre-cum around, then slid his hand down the length. He nipped at Sebastian's lips before kissing him again, and he took one of his balls in his hand, fondling and rolling it gently around.

"Y-you've gone and...turned into a little i-imp." Sebastian could see the mischief within Ciel's eyes, and wondered just what was up the boy's sleeves. It was obvious that Ciel had picked up a few tricks, but Sebastian didn't bother asking him where. Such things could wait. For now Sebastian was too enthralled in the feel of Ciel's hands on his cock and balls.

Ciel grinned. "Maybe I have." Tracing the vein on the underside, he tilted his head thoughtfully. "Do you like it?" While Sebastian sounded as though he were enjoying it, Ciel couldn't see his expression to know for sure. He held his breath, awaiting to hear the verdict of whether his research had paid off or not.

"That would be putting it l-lightly," Sebastian stuttered, feeling silly for letting himself fall apart so easily. Just the thought that this was Ciel doing such sinful things to his body was driving him insane with the want for more. He didn't even think saying he liked it would justify it, perhaps even love would fall short. "More." It was a whisper. No louder than a shuttering sigh.

Ciel's hand picked up the pace, the pre-cum helping to allow his fingers to slide smoothly over the heated flesh. His thumb swirled around the head, and Ciel leaned down to press his lips to Sebastian's neck. Teeth soon joined in, nipping playfully but not enough to break the skin. "I'm glad you like it," Ciel whispered, breath hot against the doctor's ear.

A hard bite was given and Sebastian was groaning and shifting his body up into Ciel's. It felt almost odd to be pressed another body, so prone and submissive. There was never a time that Sebastian thought that he would find enjoyment with control being taken from him, but giving Ciel the reigns seemed to be a bigger turn on than Sebastian had ever thought.

"Do you like it?" Sebastian questioned back, a single garnet eye peaking out to look down at the younger male.

"Yes," Ciel replied. Though there might have been a time before when he would be hesitant to answer, he had answered quickly, and with only a small blush dusting his cheeks. He was indeed growing up, and he enjoyed these times of exploration with Sebastian. He trusted the older male, knowing that Sebastian would stop if Ciel asked him to.

A thought came to Ciel, and he paused, chewing on his lip as he debated his next move. Then slowly, he began to kiss his way down Sebastian's neck and chest, only stopping when he reached the waistband of his pants. Slim fingers toyed with them before pushing them down Sebastian's hips, freeing his erection.

Ciel's expression was one of concentration, and he curled his hand around the hardened length and gave it a quick pump. A moan reached his ears, and he allowed a smile to slip onto his lips. He stroked him a few more times before carefully bending over and flicking his tongue over the tip of Sebastian's cock.

"God yes," Sebastian gasped, hips lifting up against his will. How long had it been since someone had serviced him in such a way? Far too long. To have Ciel's tongue upon the tip of his weeping head was something wholly erotic. He could not resist looking down at Ciel's face, eyes half lidded and tongue intent on it's task. The sight alone was enough to encourage more pre-cum to bead and fall from the tip of Sebastian's cock and onto Ciel's tongue.

It took everything Ciel had to not gag at the taste of the bitter pre-cum. Add to that Sebastian's hips thrusting upwards, and Ciel had a difficult time. Finally, he managed to hold down the older man's hips and began to concentrate on pleasuring him. Since this was Ciel's first time giving someone a blow-job, he felt awkward and unsure, and his mind kept going back to what he had learned. His tongue licked up the underside before digging slightly into the slit, and he grimaced a bit at the taste.

A mumbled 'sorry' spilled from Sebastian's throat between inaudible grunts and pleas for more. He hips struggled to stay still for the younger man, it having been too long to recount the last time he had to practice such control. Sebastian's hand did not require such delicate movements of his hips, Ciel was another case entirely. "Ah.. S-so good-" Another gasp, and another twitch of his hips. How easy it would be to just fuck that exquisite mouth, to forget all need to take things slow. Perhaps it was a true testament to Sebastian's affection for the boy that he did not go through with his less than holy thoughts.

Ciel slowly lowered his head, taking Sebastian's cock even more into his mouth. He wrapped his tongue around it and sucked hard. A pleased moan filtered through the air, and Ciel glanced up at Sebastian, who was obviously enjoying himself. That spurred Ciel on, and he dipped his head again so he could continue to hear those sounds.

The coil of heat twisted and turned in the pit of Sebastian's stomach, a telling sign of his quickly approaching orgasm. It was a split moment decision. A hard suck from Ciel had Sebastian's hands pushing into the younger man's shoulders, forcing his back with great reluctance. He did not want to chance Ciel having an adverse reaction to Sebastian coming into his mouth. It was not a chance that he was willing to take.

"F-finish me off with your hand..," Sebastian explained. "I don't think you want me coming in your mouth just yet." The words were meant to sooth, not wanting Ciel to think he might have done something wrong with how suddenly Sebastian had rejected his actions.

Ciel nodded hesitantly and pulled away completely. A trembling hand took the place of his mouth, and fingers stroked the hard length. He traced the vein, then swirled his thumb over the head. Pre-cum dribbled from the slit and coated the cock, enabling Ciel's hand to move with less resistance.

It took an embarrassing four strokes before Sebastian was coming onto Ciel's hand. In his defense he would blame it on his years without blow-jobs. He came with a cry, hoarse and choking, before falling back onto the couch in a sated heap. Garnet eyes were tightly shut and quick breaths puffed past parted lips. Sebastian was still trying to come down from the high, his sweat already cooling on his heated body.

Sightless blue eyes were wide as they stared at his hands. He swallowed hard, unable to believe what he had done. Truth be told, he had enjoyed giving pleasure to Sebastian, and he realized that he would do it again if the opportunity arose. Lifting a shaking hand to his face, he was reminded of the liquid covering his fingers. He blinked, unsure as to what to do now. "Sebastian?" He called out softly, realizing that the older man hadn't spoken or moved in a few minutes. "Are you okay?" He added as an afterthought.

A few grumbles left Sebastian before his eyes opened and regarded the boy before him. "I'm pretty damn wonderful," he said, smile in place. Red eyes took notice of Ciel's messy hands and Sebastian fumbled for a throw that had been pushed to the floor. He passed it over to Ciel to clean himself, the blanket could easily be thrown in the wash later.

Ciel quickly wiped his hands clean and dropped the blanket back onto the floor before lying down to snuggle with Sebastian. He jerked a little when some of the cum that had splattered on Sebastian seeped onto his clothes. "I guess I should have given you the towel, too," he mumbled as he made a face. He still curled up beside the doctor, not seeing the point in pulling away since his clothes were already slightly stained.

"It's fine. We'll put everything in the wash before we head to bed tonight," Sebastian chuckled and pulled Ciel closer, enjoying the heat he provided. "But I don't think my legs are willing to hold my weight just yet." A few more laughs slipped past Sebastian. With a quirk of a smile he leaned down and kissed Ciel on the head, inhaling the sweet sent of shampoo and a smell that was distinctly Ciel.

A light red dusted Ciel's cheeks, and he looked down. "Did you like it?" He questioned shyly, his index finger drawing tiny circles on Sebastian's chest.

Another kiss was given, this time to the top of Ciel's ear. "I loved it." Sebastian hummed pleasantly, body happy and sluggish. "Couldn't have asked for anything better." It was perhaps a slight white lie. In Sebastian's many years he had had numerous blow-jobs, most better than what Ciel had just given him. Still, Ciel's innocent way of approaching the task had been hotter than anything Sebastian had encountered in his many years. That alone made it a truly wonderful experience.

A pleased smile slipped onto Ciel's face, and he buried his face in Sebastian's neck. "I'm glad," he whispered, tongue flicking out to lick at the sweaty skin. A slight throbbing between his legs had Ciel blushing. Of course, how had he forgotten that he still had a small erection? Wrinkling his nose, he tried to will it away, and a small growl of frustration fell from his lips.  
><strong><br>**The sudden discomfort did not go unnoticed by Sebastian. He trailed his eyes down the long line of Ciel's body and noticed the slight problem that they young male sported. "I suppose it wouldn't be proper to not return the favor," Sebastian said, smile planted wickedly on his smug face.

Ciel shivered at the tone, his mouth suddenly dry as he tried to reply. Memories of other times that Sebastian had taken care of his problem flashed through his mind, and he found himself yearning for the doctor's touch. "Would you?" He spoke quietly, cheeks tinted pink.

Sebastian assessed Ciel for a moment, looking up and down his body and then back up to the man's blue eyes. "I would," he confirmed, smiling and looked ready to devour Ciel. "How would you have me take care of you?" A firm hand trailed down Ciel's back and cupped around a plump and firm buttocks.

Pausing, Ciel considered his choices. Should he stick to what he was comfortable with, that being Sebastian's hand, or should he push himself to try something different? He chewed on his lower lip before pressing a kiss to Sebastian's lips. "I trust you," he said simply. "You can use your mouth, if you'd like."

"I'd love nothing more." Ciel was pushed back on the couch, pressed against cushions and scattered pillows. Above him Sebastian loomed looking ready to feast upon the delicious meal below him. A curved smile twisted his lips as he leaned down and savored his prize.

* * *

><p>The Phantomhive house was quiet as Rachel and Vincent readied themselves for bed. It had been a long day for both of them, and with Ciel gone at the hospital, they found the time dragging even more as they worried about how the treatments were going and how Ciel was reacting to them. Granted, he'd been doing much better than when he'd first begun receiving them, but they were still entitled to worry over him.<p>

"It doesn't seem the same here without Ciel," Rachel sighed as she took a brush and began to pull it through her hair. "Even though he sometimes just sits and listens to his stories, it's comforting to have him around. I always worry that something will happen to him while we're not around."

Vincent gave and small smile and settled the comforting weight of his hand upon his wife shoulder. "You worry too much. He's a big boy and knows how to take care of himself," he whispered and moved in closer to Rachel. "Beside I do enjoy having you all to myself." A squeal left Rachel's lips as he snatched her around the waist and peppered tender kisses along her jaw and neck.

Rachel laughed, feeling like a teenage girl once more. "I know you do," she teased with a raised eyebrow then sobered. "But seriously, I've been getting this feeling about Ciel. That there's something he's not telling us. Call it a mother's instinct, but usually, I am right about these kinds of things. Not to mention, there are a few things I've found or that he's said that have made me think twice."

With an inquisitive raise of his brow, Vincent turned to fully look at his wife. "He's a young man, I'm sure there are tons of things he's not comfortable with discussing with us. That doesn't mean there is any reason to worry." Still, despite his own words, he could not shake off a similar feeling. Try as he might, Vincent knew what Rachel was referring to but hoped it to be nothing more than his son's odd ways.

Shaking her head slowly, Rachel bit her lip. "I found a pair of his pajamas underneath his bed a while ago. They were stained with cum, Vincent. I don't know what to think, especially since the last time I recall him wearing them was when Sebastian had been here for the home visit."

A booming laugh snapped through the house, although it was laced with uncertainty. "He's a young man, Rachel. You're going to find things like that, and I'm sure he wore them after Dr. Michaelis' visit as well. You can't possibly remember what he wore every night to bed, and it's not unheard of for Ciel to rewear things before you get your hands on them to clean." Vincent continued trying to reassure his wife.

There were some things he wasn't willing to acknowledge because they made little sense, nor did he wish them to be true. There always had to be more reasonable explanation. Besides, Ciel would not be acting as happy and normal as he had been in the past few months if his doctor had been harassing him in any sexual way. Vincent remembered how Ciel had been when the boy had come back to them, and this was nothing close to comparing to that time.

Hands on her hips, Rachel glowered at Vincent. "This isn't a laughing matter, Vincent. I'm worried. He's been spacing out more often, he doesn't seem bothered when you and I flirt. Surely you've noticed his peculiar behavior, too."

"Isn't it a good thing that he's becoming more relaxed?" Vincent tried to hold onto his smile, but his wife's rage was beginning to make him wary.

"Yes, I suppose it is a good thing, and maybe I am worried for nothing." The woman's shoulders slumped, and she ran a hand over her face. "Instead of being withdrawn, he's opening up more, except for the times when he has his head in the clouds for some unknown reason. I was teasing him a few days ago about being lovesick because that's the way he's acting." Here she paused, blue eyes widening. "Could he have met someone at the hospital? Another patient?"

Vincent shrugged. "It could be. He may be blind, but his hormones are working just fine." Another laugh was half swallowed by the look on his wife's face. "I haven't heard mention of anyone he might fancy, but I wouldn't throw the possibility out. Check his phone, maybe he's called her." It was an off handed suggestion, and one that Vincent felt guilty over giving. He had never been one to snoop into his son's private affairs, but if it would calm his wife's worry, then little harm done.

Rachel nodded and hurried to Ciel's room. Scanning the room, she didn't find the phone, but she located his iPod on the dresser. Her lips pursed in thought, and on a hunch, she grabbed it and began to flip through it. There were some stories on it, and she didn't recognize any of the names as ones that Ciel had mentioned. Rachel pulled one up and stuck an earbud in to listen. She nearly dropped the iPod when the story began where Ciel had left off, with the two main male characters having sex. "Vincent!" She fairly shrieked. "Have you seen this?"

The tone of his wife's voice had Vincent swinging around and looking at Rachel with wide eyes. "What is it?" He asked, not sure if he even wanted to know. Rachel had gone white, paper white, and that only sped Vincent's heart to a worrisome rate. This, whatever this may be, was not going to be good.

With trembling fingers, Rachel wordlessly handed her husband the other earbud, watching his expression change as he listened. Finally, she could stand no more and quickly stopped the book. She pressed a hand to her mouth and spoke in a strangled whisper, "Dear God... What is going on?"

For once Vincent was speechless. He couldn't bring himself to believe what he had heard and almost had replayed it just to confirm what he was hearing. It was one thing to find his son listening to porn, but another thing entirely to hear the homosexual content of the audio.

"This is..." he stopped, grappling at words and finding nothing to even begin to voice his shock. Silence reigned, and both parents merely stared at one another.

"I never expected this," Rachel finally said, shaking her head. "Ciel, listening to this? He would have been the last person I expected it from, especially with what he had gone through all those years ago." She paused. "Could that have something to do with it, though?"

There was a pause as Vincent thought, his head shaking slowly from side to side. "Maybe he downloaded them by mistake? I still don't understand how he works that thing as it is when he can't see the screen." Denial was a safe route, warm and comforting. It kept the nasty truths at bay and allowed for a sense of calm.

"I don't think that's the case. Otherwise, the story wouldn't be half over. But why is he listening to this?" That was the million dollar question, and Rachel wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer or not. "Maybe he's trying to come to terms with the rapes. I know that we didn't exactly explain what had happened, but I know he remembers it vividly, if the nightmares are any indication. So maybe he was just trying to understand a bit more." It was a rather weak argument in Rachel's eyes, but she didn't want to admit what she thought the real reason was.

"But if it was bothering him enough to go this route for help, then what reasoning would he have for being as cheerful as he's been this past month? Ciel's hardly the type to put on false faces and hide his feelings well," Vincent countered half a second before regretting his words. It wasn't something a parent wanted to think about, and he surely wasn't an exception. There was something more to this that was poking at the back of his mind, but he refused to let it be known.

"I don't know. This isn't like Ciel at all. While I'm glad that he's finally coming out of his shell, I just wish I knew what, or who, was causing it. It obviously isn't us, since he's been home with us for a while now, and the change has happened recently." Rachel's brow furrowed as she concentrated on when she first noticed the change. "This has been slowly building ever since he began to be treated by Sebastian. I remember when he first started spending the night at the hospital. He hated it and begged to stay home. Then the next week, he couldn't wait to get there." She trailed off, allowing her mind to work.

There was a moment of silence. Vincent was frowning deeply, brows knitted in thought. "Perhaps there is someone, another patient, that Ciel's grown friendly with. Maybe this person is influencing this." He gestured to the iPod, treating it like an unwanted item as he threw it down on Ciel's bed.

"Highly possible. Ciel's vulnerable, Vincent. What if this person is threatening him in some way? If Ciel believes that he'll be tortured the way he was when he was ten, I don't doubt that Ciel will do whatever he's told." Rachel's eyes filled with tears. "Have you noticed anything?"

The worry was quickly waved aside. "No, that isn't it. Ciel's happy. Happier than he has been in a long while. Whatever if going on is have a positive effect on him, so I can't believe that it's initially bad." Vincent looked at his wife, trying to calm her down and ease some of her worry. There was really no need to worry that someone was threatening or hurting Ciel, the signs did not point nor even hint at it. What ever was going on was doing their son some good.

"Whoever this is, Ciel's careful not to say anything. He hardly talks about anyone from the hospital. He's only mentioned Mey-rin and Sebastian." The woman froze, her mouth opening in a small 'o' shape. "Mey-rin?"

"I'm afraid not if we are to go by what he's listening to." Once more Vincent motioned towards the iPod which laid innocently on Ciel's bed. "This mystery person is most probably male, if I had to guess."

Rachel was silent for a time before slowly replying, "Then would it be Sebastian? He's the only male that Ciel has made mention of. And whenever he does talk about him, he only has good things to say. But then again, so far I only have good things to say about the man, too." Rachel sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Maybe Ciel just has a crush on Sebastian, and it will fade away. I mean, there's no clues that Sebastian returns his feelings, and there's no way a doctor of Sebastian's standing would risk his career to have a relationship with a patient. Right?" She looked hopefully at her husband.

Although Rachel had a point, Vincent could jump to the same conclusion. "There could be someone Ciel doesn't want us to know about. If he's hiding this from us, then he wouldn't let slip that there is someone else in his life. Ciel's smart, and he knows better than to get himself involved with an older man like Sebastian, especially his own doctor." Vincent shook his head, ignoring small pieces of possible evidence that would say differently.

"Vincent, you know something else. I haven't been married to you for years to not know when you're hiding something. I can see it in your eyes." There was a fearful tone to Rachel's voice, and she grasped her husband's shoulders. "For God's sake, just tell me what is going on with my son!" She was nearly hysterical with worry and anxiousness, and she choked back a sob as she wondered what in the world her innocent son had gotten himself into.

It seemed that Ciel wasn't the only one affected by the kidnapping. Rachel had her own fair share of nightmares and panic attacks in the years that had followed the traumatic event. It was times like now when Vincent was reminded of how his wife had been affected. "I know only as much as you," he hedged.

"Don't lie to me, Vincent," she begged, resting her head against his chest. "What else do you know? He's my son, and I couldn't protect him last time. I want to help him this time, as much as I can. So please tell me."

Vincent bit at his lips, weighing his options and debating the best course of action. A shadow of a memory, dimmed by too much time and insignificance, danced just within Vincent's reach, and he was forced to acknowledge it. It was a single moment, an image of Ciel's phone and a sent call lasting for longer than what should have been appropriate. The name 'Sebastian' stood out like a flashing red sign, angry and foreboding. He swallowed hard and looked down at his wife, her eyes swollen from unshed tears and worry.

"Why don't we just call the hospital?" Vincent's voice was careful and intentional. "Talk to Ciel. It'll ease your mind for now, and we can all talk about this with calm minds when he gets home."

Rachel slowly nodded. That hadn't been what she wanted to hear, but she would take what was offered. Maybe this would help her concern. After all, they were probably overthinking this situation and jumping to conclusions. Following her husband as he walked to the kitchen, she tried to calm herself down. It did no good for her to be hysterical.

She watched as Vincent dialed the number, and she held her breath as they waited for someone to answer.

"Neurology," Vincent mumbled into the phone when the receptionist asked to where he'd like to be directed to. There was a click, and then three rings before a lady's voice filtered over the speakers. It was vaguely familiar, and Vincent knew it was the quiet nurse; Mey-rin was her name. "Mey-rin, this is Mr. Phantomhive. Ciel's father. I was wondering if I could speak to him for a moment. It's somewhat urgent."

"Ciel Phantomhive?" Mey-rin squeaked, sounding confused. "Um, Mr. Phantomhive, Dr. Michaelis had told us that he was doing another house call visit this weekend," she added slowly.

Mouth suddenly dry, Vincent chanced a look towards his wife, wondering if she could overhear the conversation. "No, no. Not this weekend he isn't." He tried to stay vague and calm, a facade for his wife when inside he was closing in on panic.

"Oh." There was a pause as the nurse struggled to understand the new information she'd received. "Maybe he meant next weekend? Did you bring Ciel to the hospital today?"

"Yes." It was hesitant. Vincent did not like how things were sounding, and they didn't seem to be getting any better anytime soon. "I did personally."

"Vincent?" Rachel asked quietly. She didn't like the way her husband was acting, and it only served to make her even more nervous. "Vincent, what's going on?" He didn't reply, just held up a finger as he continued to listen.

"Um, well, neither Dr. Michaelis nor Ciel are here, Mr. Phantomhive," Mey-rin spoke. "I haven't seen Dr. Michaelis at all today, and no one here saw Ciel, either. I'm sorry I don't have anything more to tell you."

There was a moment of hesitation. Vincent not knowing where to proceed from this point. His mouth had gone dry, and his heart sped in a heavy thump, thump all the way up his throat. Licking his lips, he held his gaze straight, not daring to look upon his wife. Rachel, he knew, would see the swelling panic in his eyes, even if Vincent knew she could see the concern and worry stiffening his back and shoulder.

"Would you happen to have Dr. Michaelis' personal phone number? It's imperative that I get a hold of him." It was a quick whisper of words, but they were loud to Vincent's ears, and he knew that Rachel would hear them perfectly; the meaning behind them not going unseen by her.

Rachel's hand flew to cover her mouth, stifling a gasp of horror. Something was terribly wrong. Vincent didn't have to tell her directly for her to know that. She hovered close to her husband and kept quiet, hoping to be able to overhear what was being said on the other line.

"Y-yes, I have it," Mey-rin stammered as she quickly located the doctor's number. She recited it to Vincent, who wrote it down on a piece of paper. "I-is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No... Thank you." And Vincent hung up. He licked his lips and looked down at his wife. He thought of what to tell her, anything to gloss over just how bad everything looked about now. "I need to call Dr. Michaelis. Mey-rin wasn't able to be much help," he finally said, giving a forced smile.

"Vincent, why did you ask for his phone number? Shouldn't he be there at the hospital?" The woman questioned, her eyes showing fear more and more every second that ticked by.

Another pause, and another quick moment of thinking before Vincent spoke. "He's not in his office at the moment. This is the quickest way," he said, and began to dial the number.

* * *

><p>Sebastian tossed Ciel gently on the bed, a smile tickling his lips as he did so. His arms reached above his head in a great stretch, and a yawn escaped his mouth. "I don't think I've been this tired in a long while," he said. The blankets were turned down, and Sebastian held them up for Ciel to shimmy down into the soft warmth.<p>

Ciel eagerly curled up into a little ball, making sure to leave enough room for Sebastian. A blush spread across his cheeks as he recalled the last time they had slept in the same bed, even though it had been unintended and a bit more innocent than the present time. "I don't think I'll have a problem falling asleep tonight," he murmured.

"Good." Sebastian pulled Ciel tight against his chest and placed a kiss to the crown of his head. "And pleasant dreams I hope?"

"I hope so," Ciel replied. "I don't want nightmares. I don't want you to see how bad they can get." While Sebastian had seen the panic attacks, the nightmares were a whole other story. They were so realistic that Ciel often had difficulty discerning whether he was safe or not. He also tended to lash out at anyone who came too close, and he didn't want to hurt Sebastian.

Another kiss was placed to Ciel's head, all tender and comfort. "I'll be right here. You have nothing to fear." Sebastian's arms clung protectively to the slim young man next to him, hoping to be able to banish the dark frightening ilk that crept and stalked amongst Ciel's dreams.

A smile graced Ciel's lips as he slid his arms around the older man and snuggled closer, resting his head on Sebastian's chest. "I know," he whispered sleepily. "You'll chase them all away for me."

"Every last one of them." The clicking of a clock was a distant hum as Sebastian watched Ciel's breaths even out to match the constant tick-tock. His hands played with the thin hair at the nape of the boy's neck. Everything was calm and soothing, and Sebastian was peacefully sated. Even as the shrill bleeps of his cell rang through the house, he couldn't bother relinquishing himself from the comforting warmth of his bed and lover.

With one last kiss, Sebastian succumbed to sleep, allowing nothing but good dreams and well wishes to swallow the both of them until morning.


End file.
